Amateur Historians Share The Trickiest War Tactics From History.

War is hell. Whether you've been in contact or not, the stories that come out of wars carry so much interest because of what's at stake: nations, the lives of those fighting, history. And some of the most interesting pieces are the ones where not a single shit was fired.

Here are some of the trickiest and most interesting war tactics used in battle as told by amateur historians.

Many thanks to the Quora users who provided these responses. You can check out ore from the source at the end of this article!

1/8. During the World War 2, Hitler was on a rampaging spree to conquer Europe which was almost a success till then and things were not going well for the Allied troops until they unleashed their 23rd Headquarters Special Troops also called 'The Ghost Army', an eclectic group of actors, make-up artists,and sound experts who together engineered one of the greatest deceptions in the history of military warfare.

The top secret unit which was revealed half a century later, carried out its mission successfully without firing a single shot. It consisted of around 1,100 make-up artists, actors, sound technicians, painters, photographers and press agents, many of them drawn from Hollywood and ad agencies.

By broadcasting fake radio traffic and using inflatable balloon tanks, jeeps and aircraft to create phantom cavalry and artillery formations, they aimed to convince German intelligence that they were an army of 30,000 men.They played sound recordings of lumbering tanks and noisy troops, using state-of-the-art recording devices to project the sounds for up to 15 miles.

The German intel images also tricked their officers about the heavy movement of Americans with their tanks on the coastline while the real invasion took place miles away. They intercepted Allied radio transmissions which appeared to confirm that two American divisions were on the ground led by their most aggressive officer General George S Patton.

The Ghost Army were also experts in espionage and intelligence, dressing up as senior officers and pretending to get drunk in towns that had been liberated by the Allies but which were suspected of still harboring spies.

They would talk loudly about false plans in bars and even let slip 'important' plans to prostitutes in brothels, hoping that this information would be passed on. (continued...)

Prepared for an invasion Hitler threw away all his forces towards a fake army, realizing later that the real damage has been done somewhere else by the original one. So the Ghost Army proved to be a game changer in the Second World War achieving the Allied Victory.

While Hitler lost the war for 'blowing things up', the Ghost Army apparently won for the same.

Yash Bhandari

2/8. During the Kosovo war and subsequent NATO bombing of Yugoslavia in 1999, Yugoslav forces made extensive use of decoys.

As it was a neutral and non-alligned country, Yugoslavia had long expected possible invasion from much stronger enemy, either NATO or Soviet Union. Because of that, Yugoslav strategists developed large number of deception and concealement tactics.

The strategy was similar to Napoleons' strategy at Austerlitz - to fool the attacker, making him think that the defender sustained large casualties, thus provoking a rash and ill-prepared attack.

The plan was to preserve as much forces as possible in the event of NATO ground invasion, to surprise the enemy with overwhelming unexpected force, and inflict heavy casualties that would turn the public opinion against the war.

Fake bridges, airbases and fortifications were built. There was a rule of thumb: each unit had to make at least 2-3 fake fortifications in the radius of 500-1000m from the real fortification.

Fake tanks and artillery were made using old tires, telephone poles, wood, plastic and all kinds of other materials. Real tank would make treadmarks to the decoy area, and it would return the same way to simulate movement.

Old cars were used to simulate tank engine heat.

Fake airplanes were built from wood and plastic.

Old Sherman tanks and old airplanes were set up as decoys for the enemy to waste their munitions and expose them to AA fire.

Fake radar emissions were made using tractor plows and microwave ovens.

Old Soviet radars were set to higher frequencies and used to hunt for stealth planes (F-117A and B-2).

Communication over military radio was rarely used. Couriers on offroad motorcycles, taxi radio stations and cell phones were used.

Movement of Yugoslav armor was made overnight and was carefully planned. March routes were planned to include as much forests and tunnels as possible. Every tank was camouflaged with local vegetation, and fresh camouflage was put on every few days.

Tanks moved with more than 200 m space between them, "jumping" from cover to cover. Bulldozers were used to create fake treadmarks on the ground, and the real tank treadmarks were immediately removed. In case of air attack, engines were immediately turned off and cooled with water to reduce IR mark.


All of this was done while constantly fighting Albanian KLA guerillas on the ground.

Due to strong AA fire, NATO planes usually flew at altitudes higher than 3500 m, so the effects of decoy targets were immensely successful: 90% of decoy targets were destroyed, and only 22 real armored vehicles and artillery pieces were destroyed, of that only 14 tanks (out of 1300).

Dragoljub Vukosavljevi

3/8. I looked at a lot of answers but couldn't find this one. This trick was used during WWII.


Nazi Germany had gone on the defensive in 1944. It was during that time that the first truly ballistic missiles, the V-1 and V-2 were developed. They could travel at the speed of sound and cause considerable damage. In fact, the Allies estimated that continuous bombing of Britain by such missiles, might lead them to evacuate London, the city being bombed by these missiles.

So, the bombing starts and these missiles were so accurate that they are hitting London exactly and causing loss of life as well as infrastructure. Britain is perplexed on how to handle such missiles, and therefore comes up with an innovative strategy.

The Trick:

Owing to Operation Mincemeat, which has been explained below in an answer, the Germans were highly skeptical of any intelligence falling into their hands. However, the British convinced the Germans that the missiles were falling 10-20km off target and hence the Germans started firing the missiles 10-20km below where they were targeting.

Result? London escaped largely unscathed from the missiles.

Rohit Shinde

4/8. In the cold December of 1398, when Timur marched to conquer Delhi - after decimating pretty much everything along his way from Samarkand - he faced a slight problem: war elephants - gigantic machines of destruction and death, something that his cavalry and infantry had never faced and clearly were not a match for!

The brilliant tactician that Timur was, he employed two brilliant schemes to neutralize this massive death-dealing force.


First, he used a part of his cavalry as bait and engaged the elephant force into a game of chase! And gave his cavalry caltrops, basically spikes for them to step on, to drop in the advancing elephants' path.

Sheer brilliance on Timur's part, exploiting the elephant's weakness in a spot that wouldn't be covered in protective armor or a tough hide!

And it gets better: He had his men dig a trench in front of their positions. Then, he loaded his camels with bales of hay. Prodded them in the rear with hot iron rods and set ablaze the loaded bales of hay! The poor camels, had only one way to go: ahead!

This spooked out the massive elephants, who not only were blinded and suffocated by the smoke, but also scared out of their wits on seeing this fear instilling sight - hundreds of blazing backed camels charging right at them!

The result: The elephants trampled the armies on their side, stomped each other to death and crushed the defenses of the city! Timur walks in and captures Delhi!

Priyank Shyam

5/8. When the British captured senior German officers during WW2, they didn't put them in a prison camp. Instead they took them to a beautiful country mansion, and plied them with magnificent meals and drink, and allowed them to listen to German radio and read newspapers to keep up to date on the war. Each had his own room and a batman, and were treated like senior officers in the British Army.

Of course, the officers had much to talk about to each other, but unknown to them, the Brits had wired the entire mansion and had a team of intelligence officers working in the basement.

The intelligence they got was far more effective than pulling finger nails. They learnt a huge amount about the relationships between senior commanders and with Hitler. They also learnt a lot about German military strategy and tactics ... From the top.

Now that's intelligence.

Mike Chandler

6/8. Around 1670, the Mughal Emperor, Aurangzeb Alamgir was fighting the great Maratha warlord Shivaji. Alamgir's general, Mirza Raja Jai Singh controlled the powerful Sinhagad Fort (near modern Pune, Maharashtra, India). The garrison at the fort was not much, but the fort itself was almost impregnable.


It was built on a sheer rockface with one side of it facing an almost vertical cliff. This particular side was left undefended as it was thought impossible that anybody could scale the cliff.

Shivaji's general, Tanaji Malusare, adopted a novel strategy to scale that very cliff. He attached a massive iron hook to a long rope and tied it around a Bengal Monitor lizard (Varanus bengalensis). Once the wall had been scaled by the lizard, the rope was sharply pulled back till it came off and the hook was wedged between the battlements at the top of the Fort. Close to 300 Marathas were able to scale that wall in the darkness and surprise the Mughal garrison in their sleep. The Mughal commander, Uday Bhan, had no option but to surrender. He instead chose to fight to the death. Both he and Tanaji lay dead before the Maratha flag was unfurled over Sinhagad.

Abdaal M. Akhtar

7/8. Newburgh, Indiana was the first town north of the Mason Dixon line to fall during the American Civil War....and it fell without a single shot fired.

Prior to crossing the Ohio River from Kentucky into Indiana, confederate Colonel Adam Rankin Johnson and his men painted a stovepipe and a felled log black and propped them up on broken wagon axles.

After crossing the river and capturing a building containing a small Union force, they lent the troops a spyglass, showed them the "cannons", and told them that they would shell the town to the ground if anyone resisted. The Union force promptly surrendered.

Johnson and his men confiscated the valuable medical supplies and weapons that the town possessed and returned to Kentucky.

Michael Schrader

8/8. During the Kargil war,the Pakistani rangers occupied high altitude positions in the mountains. They had full provisions to carry on the conflict for extended period and they also had hand held Stinger missiles and are in well entrenched positions.

Indian airforce had been called in to provide tactical support to the Indian army. The USA, as it is an ally of Pakistan, had blocked the Gps signal for military applications thereby making it difficult for IAF to target the posts of Pakistani rangers.

Then IAF employed its jugaad. It is one of the best kept secrets of IAF.


Pilots flew real-time missions with hand-held commercial GPS sets to home in on high-altitude targets, usually tiny contingents of Pakistanis occupying Indian positions. And its aces used hand-held video cameras to record bombing runs for post-op analysis back at the base.

The challenge for the IAF in Kargil was unprecedented. No air force had ever been tasked to bomb targets at elevations of 14,000 to 18,000 ft, against a backdrop that made spotting impossible. To top it, there were instructions to not cross the LoC.

Another Jugaad used is as the Pakistani rangers were at higher altitudes accurately bombing those posts was very difficult,The IAF pilots simply used to shoot at snow at the top of the mountain peaks causing Avalanches,thereby destroying their posts.

Krishna Raghavendra


Capture of Fort Eben-Emael

Fort Eben-Emeal was one of the best forts in the world at the start of World War 2, it defended a key pass into Belgium from the German side. This was to prevent an invasion of Germany. Although Germany would likely have smashed through it, it could've taken them a couple of weeks until the Allies ran out of ammunition. This would've been disastrous as this would've given time for the French to prepare and move tanks up to defend, and their rapid Blitzkrieg advance would've been halted.

Fort Eben-emael had powerful machine guns and anti-tank guns, and also multiple pieces of artillery and mortars. The defenders had more than 1000 people.

Luckily for the Nazis and unluckily for the Belgians, the officer Walter Koch came up with this genius idea which allowed for the capture of the fort within 15 minutes with under 100 soldiers. His forces numbering 82 utilized gliders and jumped from airplanes, and used flamethrowers to take control of the artillery in the fort.

Meanwhile, the German heavy forces advanced across the bridges and together, with troops inside and outside the fort, they were able to take the fort with few casualties.


Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.