Amused Parents Share Something That Their Kids Think They're Hiding From Them.

It's always endearing when a kid thinks they know something you don't. And sometimes, just for the sake of it, we play along. Here, 30 amused parents share what their kids *think* they're hiding from them.


1/30. My 10-year-old daughter keeps a log of her farts in a notebook that she grades on a hilarity scale from 1 to 10.

KellyeTheGreat

2/30. I know that my son writes long letters professing his love to a girl in his class but never gives them to her and throws them in the trash.

Wilhelm_Amenbreak

3/30. My five-year-old son spends every other weekend at his father's house. When I go to pick him up he is always in a great mood, and I can tell he had a lot of fun...but when I ask him what fun things he did he says, "Nothing." Then when it's time to go to his dad's the next time he always acts upset and says something along the lines of, "I want to stay with you mom, it's no fun there."

It took me a long time to figure out that he's hiding how much he loves hanging out with his dad because he is scared it's going to hurt my feelings.

Also, he takes coins out of my purse when I'm not looking and puts them in his piggy bank. Kid thinks he's so sneaky.

[deleted]

4/30. He thinks we don't know the combination to his safe.

The combination is "3".

It is not a very good safe.

Ironfroggy_

5/30. When I was in elementary school, my dad always threw* all of his spare change into the top drawer of his nightstand. At my school, we had a Fruitopia vending machine. Man, I loved that stuff. I loved it so much, I would sneak four quarters out of his change drawer every morning so I could get some with my lunch. I knew he would never notice because there was so much change in there and he never used it. A few years ago, he mentioned in passing that he always made sure there were enough quarters in there for me to take to school.

Pelleas

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6/30. My 3-year-old thinks we don't have a sense of smell and can't tell when he's hiding under the table pooping his pants. Listen kid, just because YOU don't mind living in that stink doesn't mean WE don't.

Royheritage

7/30. My niece drinks bottles of A1 sauce. I found 6 empty bottles under her bed while babysitting.

Nostalgialoves

8/30. My wife was changing my 9-year-old sons sheets when she called me upstairs. He had 10 ripped pages from the women's bra and underwear section from the sears catalogue. He had stuffed the pages between the bedspring and mattress. He had written things on the pages like Cool! and "Rocket Launchers!" beside the models breasts. We had a good laugh.

Like2Troll

9/30. Her videos for YouTube. She's 8. She doesn't have a Youtube account but creates videos of herself in an American accent (we're British). I watch them all the time.

Imthequietone

10/30. When my daughter was between the ages of 3 and 7, we'd not irregularly find fingerprints dug out of the butter, where she'd just grabbed a big handful of it and shoved it in her mouth.

At three, not so weird. At 7, you start to question their sanity.

I asked her one morning when I noticed the fingermarks dragged through the butter, "So, how was the butter?" and she stared at me like I was psycho, rolled her eyes, and said, "Come on, Mom, I don't do that anymore, it's not like I'm 6."

And the whole time, she has this gigantic blob of butter in her hair right above her ear. Siiiigh.

Chibette

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11/30. I have a camera in my office and my kid doesn't know, so I've observed this.

He scrapes the grades off of his report card with an exacto knife (you can scrape toner ink off of paper). Then he prints the grades he wants on a piece of paper. Then he lines up his report card over the grades and tapes his report card over the paper, and runs it through the printer again, so the grades print exactly where he wants.

I'd call him out on it but frankly I'm impressed. If he worked half as hard on his grades he'd be a genius.

Slicksoccaballa

12/30. Nothing! She is so weirdly honest, when I picked her up from a dance class the other day she even whispered in my ear, "I farted two times when you were gone."

917caitlin

13/30. My daughter is three and believes that all adults are incapable of finding anything she puts a blanket over.

Sometimes it's cute: "Daddy I bet you can't find the TV."

Sometimes it's evil: "Daddy I hid your keys so you can't leave the house."

Sometimes it's creepy: Walk into a dark room, turn on the light and find a sheet standing still in the middle of the room.

"Honey is that you?"

*crazy giggling* "You can't find me."

"Pretty sure you're under that blanket." *more crazy laughter and no more words *

billbapapa

14/30. When I was in second grade, I got an 'F' on some homework I didn't know how to do. I was so scared to show my parents, but we had to get them to sign our assignments so the teacher knew they saw them.

The girl who sat in front of me drew a line on the end of the F making it look like a crappy looking 'A'. My parents acted like they bought it hook, line, and sinker, put it on the fridge and wouldn't stop telling me how proud they were of me. I felt so guilty. Worst punishment ever!

4Ever2Thee

15/30. When my dad was a kid, he and his brother would always sneak candy from my grandpas car. In the last few days of my grandpa's life, he and my dad were reminiscing old memories. My dad confessed to him about his candy stealing, and my grandpa said he knew all along and would refill it every day for them.

That was one of the only times I've seen my dad cry, and every time I think about this instance, I put myself in my dads shoes.

I just can't imagine what it would be like to lose my dad.

[deleted]

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16/30. My dog has a sensitive stomach and cannot hold down table scraps. When my nephew spends the weekend, the dog always ends up throwing up in the house. The dog LOVES the boy, too. When I ask him if he ever feeds the dog people food, he always says, "No, cause you told me not to and that would be bad. I love you, uncle [my name]!

Only kid I've ever know that somehow puts away all of his vegetables.

thatguyami

17/30. My eleven-year-old son wakes up at 4am, sneaks out of his room, and gets his laptop (he isnt allowed it in his room). Then he takes it back to his room and plays Minecraft till 7am when I wake. He think's I don't know, but I wake from the sound of a pin dropping.

Musicprotocol

18/30. On the flipside of this, my dad used to steal small amounts of pot from me during my angsty high school phase. I didn't even know that he smoked until years later, when he told me during a camping trip.

Way_fairer

19/30. A secret double life: My 4-year-old son would have me believe that he lives in a castle in "Owenland". In this alternate realm he is ruler of all and is also a superhero called "The King of Fighting". Apparently, nearly everything that's impossible or not allowed here on Earth is possible in Owenland.

"You can't have chocolate for breakfast."

"In Owenland, we all have chocolate for breakfast."

"People can't fly."

"The King of Fighting can fly in Owenland."

"We can't have a bear as a pet."

"I have five bears in my castle and they talk to me all the time."

He would further have me believe that he brought the secret entrance to Owenland with us when we moved.

He thinks he's hiding it from me. But I found it!

*Rides off on talking bear*

AltonBrownsBalls

20/30. It's about 6:30 in the morning, and I'm not a 6:30 in the morning type of guy. My three-year-old starts to go a little bit bananas because he's lost his "golden stone." He has these two little stones like what you would find in a fish tank or as MTG tokens. They're not even golden but that's besides the point.

He starts to make a bit of a fuss because he can't find one of his stones. We also have a 10-month-old, so my wife and I are a bit concerned, choking hazard and all. My wife goes off to get ready for the day and I start the mission of tracking down this missing stone. My son has decided that it's this grand mystery, I can tell because he keeps shouting out that it's a mystery.

I hit about the twenty minute mark and I'm pretty much ready to give up. I explain to my wife that I'd looked everywhere and my son must have left it at the grandparents or something because this stone is just completely MIA.

About 20 minutes go by and my wife begins to get my son ready for the day. He's made mention of this lost mystery a few times but otherwise given up on it. She gets him to take off his underwear that he was wearing the night before, to put on new ones for the day. As he takes them off, the stone falls out of his underwear and onto the floor. It had been in his underwear the entire time.

So what does he say?

"Daddy! I solved the mystery!"

catch22milo

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21/30. I don't know what my daughter is hiding, all I know is the moment I notice silence in the house... she is up to something.

This one time, I noticed silence and decided to check on my daughter. My roommate had left his room to use the restroom, and in that short timespan my daughter had rushed into his room, grabbed a big tub of chocolate flavored protein powder, and dumped it down a heating vent.

I swear it was premeditated. From then on, every time the heating would turn on, a poof of chocolate dust would blow out of the vent, filling the house with a chocolate smell

iamthejuiceman

22/30. My cell phone.

The boy-child thinks he's hilarious, always hiding my phone if I put it down. But he only ever hides it in one of three places, and giggles incessantly while doing it. It's fun dealing with a shifty five-year-old.

Kijafa

23/30. My father used to hide the power cord to the computer so that my brother and I won't play computer games all day after coming back from school. The solution? My bro and I went through my parent's room with a fine-toothed comb until we found the cord and proceeded to play Red Alert or Mechwarrior all day until my dad came home.

But my dad is sneaky, he'd feel the computer when he got back and feel whether it was hot (from being used) or not. And he would sometimes come back at lunchtime to check us out. Eventually after this game going back and forth for a while, with us getting caught sometimes and my dad moving the cable somewhere else, he took to taking the cable with him to work. My bro and I finally got off our butts and simply bought a spare power cable.

Not_mr_right

24/30. To my sons: shutting the door doesn't fool me, it didn't fool my parents either. I know you are looking at stuff you think I'll disapprove of, and I just choose to let you get away with it.

Zerbey

25/30. My six-year-old daughter forgot to turn in her homework packet one Friday. Having forgotten it again the following Monday, her teacher sent home a note for us to read and sign. It merely mentioned that although it was the first time she'd forgotten it, it couldn't become a common problem. She was terrified. She is a good student and loves school. In a panic, she decided to cram her homework in her backpack and sign my name on the teacher's note.

In pencil.

Except instead of my name, she wrote "Mom." As in capital M with a period.

When asked by her teacher if I had really signed it, she nodded. She showed her the sheet. Pointed at the signature. What is your mother's name?

She fell apart like a twinkie dipped in hot cocoa.

I was more mad that she didn't realize I had my own name. I mean, she's six. I have a name!

Isstronglikebull

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26/30. My 13-year-old son just bought socks with a pot leaf design on them. "I thought they were palm trees."

angelalegna

27/30. Himself. My two-year-old will hear me walking towards him and dive his head under a pillow while exclaiming, "Hide! Hide!", and then start giggling uncontrollably and then go "Shh!" to himself.

Doodle_flaps

28/30. My son thinks that I don't know that he hides his stash of weed and his pipe in his blue string bag. I do.

[deleted]

29/30. A banana. She's two and I gave her a banana and she ate half. Problem is... I really don't know where the heck she put the rest of it. WHERE THE HECK IS THE DARN BANANA, CHILD?

Coocoocachoooo

30/30. A few months ago after one of his long "poops", I went into the bathroom after him and saw a Cosmo on the floor next to the toilet. I hadn't recalled ever seeing this one.

I asked him why he was reading it, and he said because he was bored. I noticed on the cover there was something like, BEST SEX POSITIONS pg. 178. I didn't want to, but I turned to page 178. The pages were stuck together. I threw it away. Washed my hands. And never spoke of it again.

Quarterafterfart

Source

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

Giphy

My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

Giphy

I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

Giphy

Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

Giphy

How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

Giphy

I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

Giphy

3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

Giphy

I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo