Amused People Share Their Most Thrilling 'No Time To Explain, Let's Go!' Stories

Life is more fun when you throw in an epic movie line every once in a while.

These Redditors shared the moments when time was of the essence, or at least they thought so. Enjoy!

[Source at the end of the article.]

A few years back my brother pulled up to my house with a paintball gun and told me to get in. He hands me the gun and says "you'll know when to shoot." We go on a short drive to a corner where some kids began to egg his truck...I knew when to shoot.


I was in high school, and my friend came running up to me and said, "No time to explain, I need your shoes!" I spent the rest of the day walking around the school in socks and some makeshift shoes made out of a cardboard box.

I later found out that the reason why my friend needed my shoes was so that he could participate in his chem lab class and not fail due to his not wearing shoes.


One Friday morning before school, we woke up to my mom and dad throwing suitcases and toiletries into the minivan, a little panicked. Instead of yelling at me and my four brothers to go and get ready for school, they told us to get dressed, brush our teeth and get in the car.

We began panicking, too. All five siblings got ready in less than five minutes in complete, frightened silence. When we all get in the car, Mom and Dad turn to us and say: "You all have to be quiet until we're out of town." Silence from 5 boys--ages 9-16--for almost a half hour. We were all scared out of our minds.

Finally, we hit the freeway and Mom turns around with a sly grin. "Twenty bucks to whoever can guess where we're going."

The jerks were taking us to Disneyland. We didn't believe them until we saw the Matterhorn eight hours later.

I guess they DID have time to explain but apparently we took too long getting ready otherwise.


I have an agreement with a friend of mine that if one of us calls the other and says "Suit Up!" in a commanding voice, then the other will come quickly and in a suit. It's good fun. Usually it leads to a night of good, innocent fun.


Me and my friend are heading to Sonic for lunch.

Suddenly he screams, "PULL OVER!" Pointing across the road, and across two lanes of traffic.


"No time to explain, GO!"

So I hit the gas and barely avoid getting creamed. Across the way I see what he noticed first, a man holding down a woman in the dirt near the ditch beside the road and striking her. We start to get out, he sees us, lets her go and gets in his car.

A moment later another car pulls up and some older women swarm over the struck woman as he begins to drive away.

We hop in our car and give chase. I hand him my phone, he calls the cops. We end up leading the way on a car chase with officers slowly assembling en mass behind us. Finally we chase him to a house and block the driveway with our car as he gets out and runs behind the house.

Knowing we have no right to chase we let the police take it from there, but we check the car. It had kids in it. The police interviewed us later, told us that the kids belonged to the woman and if we hadn't followed the man, they might not have found the car.

We felt like pretty big heroes that day.

The best part was on the way home we helped a fella with a broken radiator, and in the middle of getting him taken care of, the police called us after they caught him and I got to say this awesome line, "Bro, that was Officer ____, they need us down at the station."

Broken radiator guy was like: "Who are you?"

My friend: "Just your friendly neighborhood Spidermen!"


Got a phone call from my little sister one evening and when I picked up the phone she was clearly running and out of breath, I could just make out her saying "OPEN THE FRONT DOOR" before the line went dead. So I ran to the front door picking up the heaviest thing I could find along the way (it was a climbing helmet btw), wrenched the door open and moved out the way just in time to see her bolting into the house past me.

I slam the door and wait for her to catch her breath.

"There was a GIANT pheasant chasing me all the way from Tesco!" 

"Don't worry ma'am, I've got this" - with that, I donned the climbing helmet, and told her to call the police if I wasn't back in 5 minutes.


My school's archaeology crew and I were stuck in La Paz, Bolivia because of civil unrest that cut the roads leading to our dig site. We had been hanging out in La Paz for two weeks, trying to stay as warm as possible, and waiting for any opening in the demonstrations. 

The Bolivian army fired into a crowd, killing several demonstrators, and both sides call a truce for 24 hours. That morning our professor ran in to our rented apartment and yelled for us to grab all our gear, saying we have five minutes to leave. We had no idea what was going on, the prof took the next mini-bus out of there, and my poor Spanish skills meant I couldn't ask questions of my fellow passengers.

We boarded one of the first mini-buses out of La Paz and head out to the altiplano. On the road we passed huge road blocks, burning tires, piles of broken glass, and various debris with just enough room for a small car to make it through. The road blocks resumed that night, we made it far enough to hike the remaining 12 hours to the site next day, and then we started digging.


I was doing some bodywork on a Cessna 350 when my buddy comes running into the shop with his eyes nearly bugging out of his head:

Friend: Dude! C'mon, follow me!

Me: What is it? I'm busy.

Friend: Just come here! (gesturing wildly for me to follow)

Me: I have to finish this work, is it important?

Friend: (losing patience in all of his excitement) Just follow me! It's important!

Me: I'm not going unless you tell me what it is first.


Turns out it was somebody's birthday at work and there was free cake in the break room. Good thing my friend knew what to do.


My dad and my young sister had the brilliant idea of lighting cheap fireworks from our front porch one drunken 4th of July. Of course, one backfired and when the smoke cleared, my dad was laying his body over my sister. 

My mom saw what happened and said "Oh that's amazing! In a state of panic, you instinctively protected your daughter!" Then my dad laughed and said "No, I was trying to get back in the house and she wasn't moving quick enough so I pushed her to the ground and then I tripped."


Walking home from playing football in the park and my Dad, aggressively speeding down the road in his car, brakes hard next to me. He looks enraged and my little brother (about 10 at the time) is crying in the car. Dad says sternly, 'Get in.' I roll with it and he speeds around the park looking attentively out the window. 

My little brother points at a group of lads, maybe 16-17 years old. One of them is running with my little brother's glasses. My Dad jumps out the car, rugby tackling the lad to the floor (My dad is huge) and the lads look petrified. My dad absolutely screams at them in fury for about 5 minutes, after that he gets back in the car and then we go to McDonalds.


My brother is 11 years older than me and stayed with my dad when my 'rents divorced, so I never really got to live with him when we were young. When I was about 14, he barged into my room at 4 am and told me to "Pack your stuff for 4 days. Our flight leaves in 2 hours."

Soon after I was on a plane. Turns out, he had planned us a trip to Colorado to go snowboarding and told no one but my Mom... 1 hour before he told me.


This happened back when I was 16-17. Was hanging late one night at an out of the way basketball court with 3 of my very attractive female friends. We were just shooting some hoops and talking when someone suggested a game of Strip Basketball. The three girls wanted to be on a team together, so they told me I could go choose anyone I wanted for my second. 

Naturally, I bolted for my high school basketball team captain's house. Pounded on his door at 10 pm, sweating and out of breath and said, "No time to explain, let's go."

I didn't know him very well, and he had no reason to go with me, but we were both happy he did. The girls weren't happy with my choice, but they kept their word and we got a pretty awesome show.


I was checking the battery under my hood, and managed to splash battery acid in my eye. I had three friends in the car. I told the girl in the back seat to give me the jug of water that was next to her. NOW!

She just sat there and glared at me with an "I'm not taking orders from you" look.


It was the middle of the night on a road trip with a friend. She's a city mouse, I'm country. I was driving, she was sleeping, and I started to get sleepy. So I pulled off the highway onto a barely paved road and followed it for a while until I found a wide shoulder to pull off. I parked and we got out so she could have a cigarette. 

There were loads of stars and we leaned against the car having one of those hushed middle of the night conversations. Then I heard rustling in the woods 8 feet from us. At first I ignored it, but then I realized there was a pattern. I'd hear it at the 10 position, then at 2, then back to 10. It was more than one thing making the rustling noise. And they were getting closer. And I realized something was hunting us. So I put on my movie voice and told her "Get in the car." Her eyes got wide and she hopped in really quick. 

I jumped in and we took off back to the highway. She turned to me and asked "Was it an axe murderer or something?" I told her no, it was probably wolves. And she got mad at me for scaring her, she didn't see how wild animals stalking us could possibly be dangerous.


My friend runs up to me: "Grab a tarantula, a drum set and a mannequin and meet me at Bill's house!" Then he runs off somewhere.

"But where do I find those things? A drumset? What the heck man?!"

Annnd it hit me that he was doing a quote from the show Kenan and Kel. This was the 90s.


Not sure if this counts, but I was in high school and saw an attractive girl waiting for the bus. Being me and knowing I would just awkward all over myself if I tried things the normal way, I got on my best panicked face, ran up to her, and said, "Quick, quick! There's no time! I need your phone number!"

She blurted it out, I actually kept it my head until I could get it down on paper, and called her that night. Thankfully she forgave me for my ridiculousness, and we've been together for 13 years.


A girl I liked: "Pull the car over." 

Then we made out. The end.


I was at a house party over the summer that started going a bit south. So, my friend and I decided to just get in the car and drive home. We got to the car and were waiting for the third guy in our group when a very, very drunk guy came up with his red solo cup of beer. We were friendly to him, asked him what he was drinking and all. He decided the best reaction to this was to throw the beer at me while I sat in the car. After this happened I noticed a group of about 7 or 8 more drunk people ambling towards the car. They did not look happy. My friend decided the best response to this was to go to the back of his car, grab his shotgun and two shells. I'm thinking, "This can't be good..."

He stood next to his car with the drunken mob slowly approaching, and yelled at them once, "get away from my car!" while loading the shells. They did not stop. He fired once into the air away from them, cocked the gun, and said again, "get away from my car." About 1/3 left after that so he fired once more and the rest scattered. He had just fired a gun at a house party, TWICE. "oh crap, oh crap, oh crap." Our other friend then came out of the house screaming. "No time to explain, let's go!" We never went back to that house.


Without getting into much details, a guy I know got kidnapped. One night, I answered a call on his boyfriend's cellphone, while I was waiting on witnesses to call us. It was him. Got up, started running and told his boyfriend to follow me and that I had no time to explain right now. We had to go and save him... I filled him in on the way.

We found him and got him back to safety.


I was at a sporting event with some friends (wow it was 10 years ago. Now I feel old). The bleachers were metal benches on concrete and set up amphitheater style, going down a hill and all the concessions and bathrooms on the top of the hill behind us. It's about half time and I'm thirsty. I also see that it's starting to cloud up. I tell my friends I'm gonna go grab a drink and be right back.

I walk to the top of the stairs and I see the biggest, nastiest thunder cloud I have ever seen and it's about to let out a maelstrom right on top of us. I hauled it down the stairs, grab the friend closest to the aisle and yell, "We gotta go!" It takes a second for it to register but everyone grabs their important belongings and then follows me up the stairs, across the food court and into the bathroom. Suddenly the temperature drops by at least 10 degrees, the wind gusts (the last friend in almost lost her hat). Seconds later we hear a huge CLANG on the tin roof of the bathroom. And then another and another. Then out the door we see golf ball to orange sized hail every where.


Went to a bar w/some friends and my parents in my hometown for my 21st birthday. It turns into a good 6 hours of drinking. I went to the bathroom and while closing the lid after finishing, the entire bottom of the bowl SHATTERS. I was inebriated for my first time in said bar, and unable to fully process what had happened, went back to my table and urged my friends and family very loudly that we needed to leave.

"No, I don't think you understand. I DESTROYED A TOILET LET'S GO."


Camping at a friend's house with my wife. He had a glorious stretch of land and we had a tent, a nice little campfire and had just finished dinner with leftovers sitting on the "grill." We hear coyote howls about a mile off and think with the smell of food in the air, maybe we should pack up and head back to his house for the night. He'd brought his antique military jeep that had no suspension to carry the gear and in case we needed emergency transportation back to the house.

In the middle of packing he screams "Get in the car, NOW!"

I hop in the passenger seat the same time he gets in the driver's side. The jeep starts moving as I swing out and pick up my wife with one arm and slap her down on my lap. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention she's blind.

Driving down an extremely bumpy dirt road with no suspension at 30 miles an hour. All that I could think of was the scene in Jurassic Park where the dude in the back is saying "Must. Go. Faster."

The coyotes were chasing us.

We rolled up to the house. I guess they didn't like the lights or the smell of civilization and left.

The next morning, they had gone through the entire camp and paw prints were everywhere. Turns out my friend had seen a pack of shiny eyes charging us the previous night.

We were lucky.


I own a skate shop and it was also a popular hang out for skater kids. I was off one day and I get a call from an ecstatic skate kid that sounded in panic saying "Get to the shop now!" Click. I rush down there, and two minutes after I arrive, Anthony Keidis (from the Red Hot Chili Peppers) walks in. One of the kids had run into him in town and convinced him to come into the shop. 

All the skater kids are in my shop behind the counter with my employee pretending to work on things, put skateboards together, etc. It was hilarious to see them try to act naturally, and we all got to have a good conversation with Anthony Keidis about skating, paddleboarding and kiteboarding and he signed a girl's skate deck for our "Wall of Fame" that I still have. He's been back every year since then and is a regular customer. This past summer I delivered paddleboards out to his vacation home.


When I was about 13, my buddy and I rode our bikes to the local KMart to be bored obnoxious teenagers. Tossed some Nerf footballs over the aisles, ran around, mocked things.

Then I thought it would be funny to spray my buddy with the perfume sample. He didn't think it was funny at all, and started chasing me. I ran and hid, and the hunt was on.

Using his finest ninja skills, he snuck around until he saw me, crouched down in the hardware aisle. He crept up behind me, put his butt right next to my head, and let rip. He turned around to gloat and... it wasn't me. Just some poor schmuck looking at hammers.

The next thing I know, he runs by me, "We gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go!"


I work security and I get a call in my office from the operator saying "Some kids just stole some coffee dispensers (about 90 bucks a unit) from the lobby and flipped us off as they left." I turned to another officer and just said "C'mon, we gotta go" and we bolted to the lobby and then out to the parking lot. They had gotten in to a car and we got in front of them and stopped them. It was like four 16 year old kids or something. We made them talk to the cops and wasted their time and got the coffee pots back. If I had explained first we probably wouldn't have got the kids.


I was a freshman in high school. I was at this under-18 club (don't juuuuudge me) with a couple of girls, just kinda hanging out. I was still new to women, so I was fairly oblivious to the fact that they both like-liked me.

At one point in the night, Candice suddenly grabs me and says "let's go." I'm a good friend, so I go along with her, thinking we're about to see something cool. She leads me outside, all the while I'm asking her where we're going. Every time, she simply replies, "shortcut."

Eventually she leads me to an alleyway and stops. I look around, wondering what the heck we were doing there. I mean, we went all the way around the building, so she has a pretty tenuous grasp on the word "shortcut." As I'm about to ask her what the deal is, she takes a hold of me and starts kissing me. "Cool," I thought. "A girl likes me!"

After a few minutes of this, we go back into the club and don't speak of it again. That was also the last night we really spoke, for about three years. I always thought it was because I was too shy to ask her out. That may have been the case, but, as I learned when she started dating a friend of mine, it was also because I was a pretty bad kisser. I started dating someone long-term after that though, so I did get better.


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Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.