Angry Customers Share The Most Ridiculous Thing A Waiter/Waitress Did While Serving Them.

This article is based on the AskReddit thread "Today, a waiter chased me out the door for leaving a 20% tip. What's the most ridiculous thing a waiter/waitress has ever done to you?"

[Source can be found at the end of the article]

1/14. I went to Denny's with a few friends after a concert one night and we all ordered food. The service was fair (not good,not bad) and the food was good. At the end of our meal we all paid and was getting ready to leave and we all put the tip on the table (around 30%40%).

So we all were getting up from the table and the waitress came over and said in a pretty smug way "I know a tip is not mandatory but you guys could leave something." we all kinda took a look at each other and then i said "yeah your right a tip isn't mandatory." And then went back to the table and picked up the money.

The look on her face was priceless as we walked out the door.


2/14. When I was on a break with my girlfriend (initiated by her) I went to a bar/lounge not too far from my house with a couple friends. There was a really cute bartender so we immediately struck up a conversation... no stupid pickup lines, nonsense.

Throughout the night she always came back and talked - just joking around and flirtatiously making bets for drinks and had an all round very nice time while feeling some chemistry. She gave me her number but when it came time to pay the tab I decided to test and see if she was full of crap, or genuinely nice. So I gave a good tip (20%) and when she saw it she asked me what my problem was, that she had spent so much of the night with me and had given me a bunch of free drinks (come on, I won the bets fair and square). So I told her I'm no longer interested and gave her her number back.


3/14. At a Swiss Chalet, six of us at a table. Five plates come out. We wait a couple minutes for the sixth plate. We inform our waitress that we didn't receive our sixth plate. She responds with "Yes, you did." After a bit of a back-and-forth, she accuses us of hiding the last plate somewhere.


4/14. I went to TGI fridays and ordered a drink. The waiter gave me a hard time about my ID, so much in fact by the time I got the drink, I just drank it and paid for the one drink and decided to leave.

As I was leaving he ran up and said "Thanks buddy so much for the tip, I just want to thank you so much for your kindness."

I became fairly enraged, loudly I said "When you are total arsehole to the customer don't expect a tip and I hope your manager and co workers can hear what a terrible person you are to the customer, Im going to go home and make sure this is well documented and reported, my friends with me will do the same.


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5/14. One time my fiancee and I went to eat a pizza place in NYC. The hostess set the two of us at a four-top table, and proceeded to get us drinks and some bread to snack on. After a few minutes, the waitress came over accusing us of moving to the four top and started moving all of our stuff to a two top next to the door. I never had the chance to explain to her that the hostess sat us there. It was a cold day and I told her I didn't want to go there. She didn't care, she picked up all of our stuff, including my fiancee's purse. Ended up spilling my drink on my fiancee's coat.

She never refilled our drinks, even though I asked her multiple times. I ended up getting another waitress to refill my drink. When I asked for extra napkins, she told me I should "try to be less messy when I eat".

When we got the check, she put an automatic gratuity of 25%! I told her I would not pay that much gratuity, because I didn't think she deserved it. The manager came over and told me that I had to pay it or he was going to call the cops. I handed him my cellphone and told him to go for it. I told him that if he didn't take off the automatic gratuity that I would pay with my credit card, then immediately call my credit card company and say it was stolen.

After him raising his voice, two other tables said that this same waitress was horribly rude to them also, and that they wouldn't give her 25% either. The manager ended up taking it off and I tipped her $1 (in dimes) on a $40 tab.


6/14. One time a bartender didn't fill up my pitcher all the way, so I politely requested for him to do so. He started this thing about me complaining and why I'm making a big deal about it (when he was). He ended up giving me a dirty look after there was no tip; like he was surprised he got no tip for being a jerk.

Another time I left no tip because the bartender was badgering me about why I got kicked out of another local spot. She was trying to be cute making me call her ma'am and saying please ma'am just to get a beer. I wrote down on the bill "$0 Tip MA'AM". That was fun.


7/14. That happened to me at a Denny's.

I left like 2 bucks on a 6 dollar tab and the waitress made some bad remark on my way out, when her manager was right there. I turned around and asked her if she was being crass with me. I don't think she knew what the word meant. Then she said "sorry for the service" with a smug attitude. So I told her to give me the tip back. That's when the manager got involved as I started toward her (I'm a Marine vet, she's lucky I didn't bother her for a discount). So the manager comped the meal for both me and my friend and she gave us our cash back... All of it.


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8/14. We took my wife's father out for birthday dinner one night. He chose the Olive Garden, so my parents and the in-laws met us there and we were seated at a big round table in the back of the restaurant. Our waitress came bouncing up and introduced herself, asked a few questions, and figured out that it was Bill's birthday. His 60th birthday. I noticed that she seemed to pause when she heard this, but she took drink orders and off she went.

Dinner progressed, but at some point she came back and dropped the bomb: her own father had just died two weeks prior at age 60. We were all a little flabbergasted, but we offered our condolences and she turned it around a bit by reminding us all how precious we should be to each other, blah blah.

Not 5 minutes later she came back, and proceeded to fill us in on HOW he died: battling aggressive cancer for a year, he died a long, slow, painful death. Very sad. Again, birthday dinner and all, we managed to console her a little and ordered desserts.

Desserts come out, and she brings an extra-happy surprise: a printout of an email that her father sent her. You see, during his time in hospice, he sent her multiple emails daily telling her that he loved her, writing poetry and inspirationals.

She saved them, leaving them all unread to go through after he passed. She proceeded to read this poem to us, which was very sweet I'm sure, but I could barely hear it over the blood pounding in my ears out of sheer embarrassment. I was staring at my plate by this point; I can honestly say it was the most embarrassed I have been since middle school.

As she had brought out the desserts, a bus/run guy had come through to clear a booth from the now empty section of the restaurant. About two lines into the poem, he stood up, looks over at her and said, "You're kidding." I glanced over at him and he gave me the most sincere "Oh man I am SO sorry" look.

She finished the poem, we paid up, left a decent enough tip (probably around 20% because the service grief asidewas good), and went home.

The next day, my wife gets a call from a manager. He asks if we had had any issues with our waitress the night before, and my wife very kindly explained that the woman was obviously still grieving and just happened to get a table that rang her like a gong. He explained that it was her first shift back since taking time off to grieve, and that we were her first table of the night.

The manager refunded the meal to us and sent us a $50 gift card.


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9/14. My father and mother went to a popular Chinese restaurant in DC one Friday night in the 80s. This was a fancier-style place; my dad was in his Naval Officer's uniform, and my mom was in a nice dress. When they went in, the host showed a bit of disdain for my parents and sat other people for almost 20 minutes before finally getting them a table. When they got the table, it was a cramped table in the corner next to the kitchen. The waiter that took care of them also was pretty rude and dismissive throughout the night.

At the end of the night, they got their leftovers to go, and my dad paid the bill. My dad gave him a decent tip, even with the crappy service - 15%. My parents, however, were staying at the table and finishing their drinks. Meanwhile, he sees the waiter talking with the host, and gesturing angrily at the bill. The host comes over, and asks if there was something wrong with the service. My dad tells him that the service was not good, but felt that he tipped decently regardless. The host explained "sweetly" that it was customary to tip 20% at the minimum in their restaurant. My dad offered to change the tip on the bill, and reached for the credit card slip. The host jerked the slip back, and said that would not be necessary, and left.

My dad saw the host go back and argue with the waiter. He then gestured towards them, and my dad guessed that they were going to try and take the leftovers back. My dad palmed the fork from the table, and waited to see what happened. The waiter walked by and leaned towards the table, and my dad growled, "Try it, and you'll walk away with a limp and a four holes in your hand." The waiter made a quick about-turn from the table, and my parents left a few minutes later.


10/14. I was at a restaurant in Reno with some friends of mine, we had just hitch-hiked into town. We are all moderately "weird" looking, have huge packs on, piercings and tattoos, brown/black clothing, and probably don't look like the cleanest people in the world. We order a huge, huge meal to celebrate getting into to town and meeting up with a certain friend of ours. The waitress is an older lady who is fairly friendly, tops off our coffee consistently and gets our food to us promptly. We finish off our meal, leave the money on the table + a pretty healthy tip and head outside for a smoke. As we're sitting there right outside the restaurant the waitress comes outside and says, "come on guys, you gotta pay the bill now..." completely condescending. She assumed we didn't even pay. My boyfriend promptly walks inside, points to the table, and picks up the money we left and brings it to her. He asks again how much the bill was and counts it out so she sees him put the tip back in his pocket.


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11/14. Went to a famous chain restaurant with 4 friends, the service was horrible, it took about 1 hour 1/2 and they brought out the wrong food twice before getting us our meal; my burger was bloody rare even though I asked for medium rare, etc. We decided to leave a 5% tip, so I gave the waitress our money and ask for x amount of money back, clearly signalling that the difference was her tip. She plays stupid, and brings all of our money back, clearly upset with the small value of the tip, and says she "wasn't sure what we wanted to do." I handed her three dollars and said "that will be all." Her eyes went a little wide, and she marched off in a fuss. When we went to leave the restaurant, the manager approached us and said that we should acquaint ourselves with usual tipping practices to avoid future misunderstandings. I told him to serve better food in a more timely matter. He just stared at us as we left. I'm pretty sure if I ever go back I'm getting "special ingredients" with all of my food.


12/14. My friends and I went to a restaurant with 6 people. This restaurant is kind of an "art scene" restaurant, but defiantly portrays itself, and prices itself, as a gourmet restaurant. The place was not extremely busy, probably 60-70% to max capacity on a Friday night. Our waitress comes by to take our drink orders and we order 2 pitchers of beer. 20 minutes later we get our drinks. That's not a huge deal, but somewhat confusing considering they were that busy, but we let it slide. She takes our orders once she delivers the beer and its all typical stuff; an appetizer and entrees for everyone. The appetizer, which was the price of a full mean, was supposed to be gourmet crackers and cheese, but literally was club crackers and frozen, yes frozen, cheese. On top of that, she didn't even bring out the entire appetizer and we had to ask for it. Then, after 30 minutes, we get ONE plate out of SIX and she just sits it in front of one of our guests. After 10 minutes of the food just getting cold in front of him, we insist he goes ahead and eats.

It takes 45 minutes until we get the rest of the food and one of the orders was extremely incorrect. One of the orders didn't even have all the listed ingredients in it. It was a cheese steak without cheese. She asked to have her order fixed the right way and the waitress gives her this snarky look and says, "Maybe you should go to drive-thru next time." Everyone was shocked and offended by her remark. We had waited on our food for a little under 2 hours and she is getting mad at US. So I did what I thought was the most appropriate; I wrote, "DRIVE-THRU" on her tip.


13/14. I went to a wing joint that was a bar/restaurant with plenty of TVs for sports to watch a Stanley Cup playoff game. I'm there with 5-10 people all eating appetizers or entrees and drinking beer. My wife was drinking her beer when she felt something funny go down, and she still had a piece in her mouth. She took it out, and it was a piece of glass. We talk to the manager and tell him that there was glass in her beer (impossible to see by the way), and he offers to replace her beer. I then try and explain that she swallowed glass and after some talking and comments from him like "you'll be fine" (to which my wife replied "have you ever swallowed glass?") we managed to get him to comp our meals and drinks (just what we ordered, not my friends mind you). He acted like we should be [cut] grateful for him for getting a free meal after my wife swallowed glass. My wife was furious at the manager who was completely unresponsive to any complaints, and this totally ruined what turned out to be great hockey game.

Within a couple of days of all of this happening my wife started having some slight stomach pains that weren't going away. I wasn't sure if it was related to the glass so we went to doctors to be sure. After they weren't sure what it was she told the doc about the glass incident and they did a few more tests. (Continued)

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They concluded that she passed the glass and on its way out it probably made a minor cut in her intestines. Awesome. The good news was that it would just take some time to heal, and nothing extra was needed. I can't stand the fact that my wife had to go through some very uncomfortable tests because this restaurant had pieces of glass in their cup and the manager was extremely unapologetic.

After all of this I went back to the restaurant and tried to explain to the manager how much crap he put us through and he still tried to pass it off as inconsequential. I proceeded to tell him to screw off and that I nor anyone I knew would ever come to his restaurant again.


14/14. About 8-9 years ago in Phoenix/Scottsdale, I was out to dinner with my wife at a nice restaurant (can't remember it's name). it was after the lunch-time business crowd, around 2:30, so the place was pretty empty.

We had a nice relaxing lunch and the service was bordering on below average, with a real smart-mouth waiter who had an attitude. He was very slow in getting our order, delivering our food, and trying to find him to pay the bill was very difficult. we spent 15-20 minutes more in there than we should have, because of how slow he was. Still it was a nice day in the spring and we were just enjoying being there.

When we finally do track him down to get the bill, his attitude stops, he becomes all friendly, almost too friendly. It comes across as completely insincere. He takes pleasure in announcing, "Your bill comes to $65." That behavior irked me, because I don't want other people to hear what we were paying. The pace wasn't that full, but still...

So i look at the check, and it was, as he said $65. So I pulled out $100 to lay in the leather wallet containing the bill.

"And you are paying with a $100 dollar bill, sir...would you like your change?" as he announced again.

At that point, I leaned over to him and said something along the lines of, "Of course i would like my change. Do you really think that your service was anywhere near the range of a 50%+ tip? We had to ask someone else to track you down at least once to get some service. And you want to know if I want my change?"

then he became very indignant and huffed off to grab our change. When he came back, I felt like leaving no tip, but that's not how I roll. but I didn't leave a good tip either, only about $4.



[Image credit: Ditty_about_summer /]

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.