Anonymous Relatives Of Murderers Share The Tell-Tale Signs They Noticed

Anonymous Relatives Of Murderers Share The Tell-Tale Signs They Noticed

Guess somebody has to be related to a murderer, right? Still, it's frightening to think about.

You have to wonder what the relatives went through, or what they thought when the major drama was going down.

deliriousplays asked Reddit:

Relatives of murderers, what memories stand out as red flags?

Here were some of the answers.

He Kept His Promise

My uncle said he would kill his wife if she ever cheated on him, and then killed her when she cheated on him. He now says he regrets what he did (not because of the jail time, he is actually out of jail), but because he destroyed a life instead of just walking away.

So Many Red Flags

My mother's ex husband is in jail for murdering 2 people.

I've not seen him (or my mother) for years, but was not surprised in the slightest when I heard.

broke several of my bones on a couple different occasions, choked me until I passed out, cheated on my mother constantly. Gave her numerous STIs. Crashed 2 of our family cars, totaling them each time and always had severe drug problems

I could go on but you get the idea. Complete piece of s***. 'Luckily' he has multiple priors so he won't be getting out for a long time if he ever does. Society is better off.

No Signs

I have a large family. One of my second cousins is doing 50 or so years for a double homicide. I didn't see him often, but he seemed completely normal. I talked to him the week of the murder, and he was fine. I actually was setting up my best friend to babysit for him. He had a girlfriend and two kids with her. Seemed like a normal good ol' country boy.

One night a couple in the area went missing after camping by the river. The girl was found shot in the back of the boyfriend's truck not far from the campsite. The boyfriend was nowhere to be seen and had just recently gotten back from Iraq. It was also known that he had a wife in another state, so the whole town thought the boyfriend had a psychotic break, killed her, and skipped town.

Then the police found my cousin's bumper near the crime scene and followed up on it, hoping to find the boyfriend. My cousin acted super suspicious, and after hours of interrogation, he broke down and confessed and told them where to find the boyfriend. He was a couple counties over, well hidden. It's likely that the case never would have been solved if he hadn't confessed. They used the confession to get a warrant for a DNA sample and matched it to the DNA left behind on the girl.

It still haunts me because there just weren't any signs, and it was the most heinous thing to happen in my tiny hometown. I knew the guy he murdered better than I knew him, and he was a great guy. It just makes me sick to think about it.

How Horrible

My Cousin tried to kill his girlfriend after doing a cocktail of drugs on a night out. He came home and got into bed with her and told her he loved her then repeatedly stabbed her- once in the neck too. Luckily she survived the attack and he is serving time in prison where he belongs.

He was always a naughty kid. One memory that stands out when we were really young is him kicking a hedgehog full force like a football - I was mortified.

I didnt have much to do with him after childhood but I know he was always in trouble with the police (court orders, arrests) for one reason or another.

Although not technically a murderer- he 100% attempted it. Glad his ex partner and child are ok.

Telltale Signs

About a month ago, I heard that my brother killed his old boss. It was surprising, to say the least. I hadn't talked to him in a long time- but when i heard, I instantly knew he was guilty.

There was a night when we were young, I'd say around 11-12 years old. It was maybe 4 in the morning. We shared a room, and for whatever reason, I woke up. Not that burst awake with random energy wake up, just sorta opened my eyes. He was standing in the middle of the room, with a kitchen knife, spinning it in his hands and running his finger down the blade. I watched him do this for about 5 minutes, then he left to go put it back, I assumed. I went back to sleep.

A few years later, I told my dad about it. It turns out, it didn't end there. That night, he went into my parents room and just stood over their bed. My dad woke up, asked him what he was doing, and he just replied "watching you sleep."

There were other signs, but this is the biggest.

Everyone Knew

The husband of one of my cousins went to prison for a very long time for murder. His entire existence was a red flag. He abused alcohol and drugs. He abused my cousin during their thankfully brief marriage. He was a monster so no one was surprised to learn he'd beat and stabbed a woman to death and was arrested with her body in the trunk.

A Total Surprise

Guy I Worked with (Only for a few months). This guy was amazing. We worked with people with disabilities, he was kind and legitimately compassionate. Was enrolled to start med school in the fall in hopes of supporting this same population. Get a call from my supervisor one day saying he'd been arrested for murder. Turns out he was a massive drug dealer. No details are official obviously but by the sound of what came out at trial he was meeting this guy to buy 20kg of Marijuana. Something went wrong and he ended up killing the guy. No body was ever found.

Worst part was I worked a shift with him after the murder but before he was arrested; didn't seem to have a care in the world.


I have a cousin currently serving life in prison for trying to murder her parents. Didn't like her new stepmother & wanted their $$$, recruited some friends to help her kill them. Stepmother died, father lived.

I was never super close to her, but saw her fairly regularly. She was always kind of the stereotypical 'spoiled rich kid' - thought she knew everything, always wanted her way - but still friendly enough & could be fun sometimes. After her parents divorced & her dad remarried the stepmother, her behavior changed completely. Every time I saw her after that, she was either angry or sulking. I remember her ranting about her stepmother to a bunch of us with this look of pure malice & hate on her face. That was maybe 8-10 months before the murder.

Maybe An Accident

I had a Nanny as a child. Nice latino woman that my parents had grown up with, about their age. Her husband was a convicted murderer, in and out of prison for parole violations at the time. Really nice guy. Taught me how to draw when I was around three and it remains a very vivid memory. (This wasn't exactly a violent murder. He and his buddies at work were on the scaffolding, drunk as hell, and got into a fight. The other guy fell and died but they charged him like he pushed him.)

Deathstyles Of The Rich

When I was 8 my uncle shot my aunt and then shot himself. There were a few red flags but not many. They were incredibly well known in my small town and everyone started noticing they weren't coming out as much. They started spending incoherent amounts of money. Don't get me wrong they always were pretty wealthy and spoiled me and my cousins rotten, but they were buying new cars, incoherent amounts of nice jewelry etc. Turns out they were in millions of dollars worth of debt because of credit card fraud and my uncle knew they were about to lose everything and killed them both.


I had a high school friend that I spent quite a bit of time with. He drove a tricked out Mustang with a major stereo system, and was very popular. He was an only child and probably would be considered spoiled, but he lived in a modest home with very nice parents. He was always kind of flaky and after school went through lots of jobs. He was an expert stereo installer though and could always find work doing that. He was pretty well liked and even admired by many.

I came home to visit from the Navy and read in the local paper while eating breakfast that he had been stalking his girlfriend and went to her work and laid in wait in the parking lot. When she came out he shot her after a brief argument. He then went to his car and shot himself.

The first thing that came to mind when I found out was how quickly this guy would fall in love with girls he liked. He was handsome and had a lot going for him and I never understood this about him. I remember one night at his house we were drinking and he had passed out. There was a cute girl there that we had met earlier that night. We were talking and she was weirded out because he had already told her he loved her and was making plans for their relationship. I assumed at the time he was doing it to get laid, but I guess not.

Mental Illness

I have a good friend from high school, let's call him Jim, who is now awaiting his trial for aggravated assault, attempted murder, and a few counts of murder.

Growing up he had a great group of friends and was well known, mostly because the town was small and his parents were upstanding people in the community. But he had extreme anxiety and a slew of other mental issues that have yet to be diagnosed.

There were several occasions Jim would invite people over and then avoid them when they arrived, which was the start of it all.

Later on in high school he began to ask questions regularly like "are y'all really my friends? Are you sure?"

He would begin to fight if he drank, or climb super tall buildings if he smoked, or text us nonsensical words or phrases

Then one night we were at a party the night before everyone was supposed to leave for college, so it was a big night. Everyone was drinking and smoking and having a ball except for Jim.. Jim was sitting on the couch, beer in hand, and staring into nothingness. I asked him what was up and he looked at me and began speaking slurred gibberish. I immediately went and got my buddy, Chris, and told him that Jim may go into an episode soon. We came back to find him in the same spot, looking at the tv. Out of nowhere, he got up jumped on a chair and grabbed an old clock off the wall and said "time is isn't real.. none of this is real... if it was real, I would bleed." And he punched the glass in on the face of the clock. He held his hand up to look and blood began flowing everywhere. He looked at a girl on the couch who he had had a crush on for a while and jumped on her. At this time Chris tackled him and Jim began screaming. Several of the guys in our friend group were able to restrain him, calm him, then call his parents. When his parents arrived he took off running across the neighborhood stripping his clothes off screaming about how he needs help. It was a rough night, and he had no recollection.

About 2 months later I got a call from Chris, my friend from that night, and he said "sit down, I've got some sh-t to tell you" he then explained that Jim had run his car into a building killing 3 people and injuring another 2. On the video from the security tapes it shows the car running into the building, the people being hit, him getting out of his car and looking at everything he had just caused and then began trying to help the people he hit.

He didn't know what he had done or why he had done it.

In his first cell he wrote gibberish all over the walls, wore a paper jumpsuit, had a padded cell. Nobody was allowed to see him except his parents and lawyer. We are just now allowed to send letters.

I check in on his family regularly and they are absolutely distraught, but maintaining composure. Right now we are awaiting the trial.

Mental illness is not a joke, this has changed my perspective on life and how others see it.

Money Ends

Dunno if it's a red flag as such, but a distant relative-in-law (who murdered his wife). He never talked about his work, he'd always just stop talking and just leave the room. He was also really weird with money, wouldn't trust banks etc, always carried rolls of cash and refused to pay, because he'd 'forgotten' his card. Later turned out he was dealing in arms and was massively in debt. So murdered her for the insurance pay out.

Time Passed

My great uncle is in prison for multiple murders. He's been in prison my entire life. When I was young my family went once a year to see him - it was an "honor visit." We'd board the ferry with all kinds of goodies he wasn't typically allowed; the one that sticks out was buckets upon buckets of KFC.

Nothing stood out when I knew him. He was pleasant, charming even; he's both frank and remorseful about what he's done. Every year he tries for parole and every year the victim's son shows up. The parole board denies him each time, despite now being morbidly obese and wheelchair bound.

I completely believe he's reformed, but I don't think it's such a bad thing he's in prison. It's been 30 years. My grandmother and the majority of his siblings are dead. What's out here for him now?

Anyway, sorry if this is too far from the question. Just wanted to share.

Just A Little Jerk

I was friends with a kid in junior high who murdered someone and then killed himself many years later as an adult.

He was one of my best friends for a brief time and I would hang out with him almost every day for about a year. Weren't any red flags I can remember, other than him being a little bit of a jerk, but nothing too out of the ordinary for a teenage boy. Seemed like a normal kid.

I heard he got very into drugs later in life though.

Subtle Malice

So my mom was definitely trying to have my dad killed while they were divorcing. Long story, but she was sleeping with several young (19-20yr old) boys, told them he beat, stole his gun.. anyway she wasn't very good at this plan and it didn't work.

But she probably (?) did kill her little sister a long time ago, when I was a baby, they were in their early 20s. So this is the info I have from my grandparents and dad. Sister got a mysterious 'blood disease', never was a real diagnosis, her hemaglobin just stopped working so her blood wasn't carrying oxygen properly, resulting in multiple organ failure. It was her kidneys, I'm told, that finally did her in. It all took a few months. And it started just when my mom went for a visit. So I'm thinking poison.

Obviously I can't prove anything, but knowing - now, and for the last couple of decades, that's also a long story - that my mom's a total sociopath, the timing, lack of diagnosis, is highly suspicious. The red flags, which we totally didn't see because we (my 3 younger sisters and I, and I guess my dad) weren't looking for them were the ways she talked about her sister. Never anything about them growing up together, never anything positive. The only things she told us about our aunt, her sister, was that she was a junkie and probably was one of the first undiagnosed AIDS cases, that she got it from sharing needles. Well.. turns out no one else thought she was on heroin. And as a member of the LGBTQ community I've learned a good bit about the 80s/90s AIDS crisis in my adulthood. Dying from AIDS doesn't look anything like what I've been told about my aunt's illness and death. And how fucking weird is it that as a mother, who's lost her only sister, would have nothing good to say about her to her kids? I mean even if she was a junkie, don't you talk about something good about growing up with her? Anything?

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.