Ashamed People Share Once-In-A-Lifetime Mistakes They Somehow Made Twice.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me! Users of reddit shared their stories on times that major and unlikely mess-ups reared their head twice in the same way, here's some of the best.

1. Too good at the job.

My dad worked at a gas station in his teens. He cleaned a glass door so well that when he was done, he turned to pick up his bucket, turned back to the door and stepped right through the glass. They docked his wages to pay for it. After the new glass was installed, my dad decided to clean the installer's fingerprints off the glass. When he was done, he turned to pick up his bucket...



2. Let me show you how it happened!

Fell down a flight of stairs twice. Intentionally.

First time was when I was 4, reading a book on how a turtle cracked its shell to become wise, so I decided to crack my own shell by throwing myself down the stairs.

Second time was when I was demonstrating to a friend about the scenario above. I only really meant to jump down two stairs as an example, but I just kept on going....



3. Think of the lost research!

Broke 6,000 USD high pressure mercury penetrometer. Two of them. Within half an hour. The lab had to shut the porosimetry section because they didn't have enough penetrometers to keep processing samples.



4. Inter-state love.

Moving to another state twice for two different dudes I met online. The same state. Will be moving back to the same state soon for another dude. 3rd time's a charm right?



5. Everybody lived.

7th grade. Was shooting spitballs in class. Teacher turns around for a second, war begins. I shot first this round and got my friend, 30 feet across the room in the mouth as he was inhaling to power his spitball. He immediately fishhooks himself with his pinky finger in his cheek and starts gagging, then choking. Teacher freaks and tries to do the heimlich thing. Ambulance arrives, parents were called, investigation took place. Everybody lived.

15 or so years later I'm in the army, in AIT. We are shining our boots with polish, cotton balls, and water. People start throwing these wet, nasty, boot polish soaked cotton balls at each other just messing around. I throw one and as you might have guessed, right in my friends mouth about 30 feet away. Same pinky fishhook in the cheek, same cat with a hairball horking / gagging noise, followed by choking, heimlich, and an investigation.



6. Whoopsie! Oh! Whoopsie again!

Reaching for a friend's shoulder, she happened to twist at the same time and I got a handful of boob. Shocked, I reached with the other hand to apologize, and reacting to the boob grab, she twisted again. I got another handful of boob!



7. Kick it like this!

Once a new kid came to my class for the first trip, and we were in the gym for "recess". So my friend and I had been playing with the ball, and she accidentally kicked it into his face. She apologized and we moved on. I grabbed the ball a few moments later and told her, "Don't kick it like that, kick it like this!" Before immediately punting it straight into his face again. The shame was unreal.



8. She needed to finish lunch.

I was cooking a grilled cheese sandwich in a frying pan. It was time to flip the sandwich, but it was kind of stuck to the pan. I was trying to get it with the spatula, but the pan kept scooting away from me. So I reached down with the other empty hand and steadied the pan's edge with my bare finger as I flipped the sandwich.

I immediately realized what I'd done since I'd put a second-degree burn on that finger, but I needed to finish my lunch. And sure enough, in two minutes' time when I needed to flip the sandwich back over, I steadied the pan with that same finger again.



9. No no no no no no

I drank a glass of cider with a huge earwig in it. Didn't notice until I'd drank half the glass. Freaked out, got another cup. Got pretty drunk, forgot about the earwig glass. Yeah, I drank from it again. The disgusting little thing tickled my lip. I feel unwell thinking about it.



10. America! I've made it at last.

In '97, first time in the states, I was at a party. I was inside, someone outside called for me. We don't have screen doors where I live, so I didn't know to look out for it, and so walked directly into it and fell down to everyone's amusement. Several hours later, an even drunker me decided to step outside again. This time I looked out for the screen door, only to walk into the now closed glass door.



11. The incredible power of a foot going into a sock.

I broke my toe when I was standing and putting on socks. I guess I was using a ton of force cause I missed the sock and kicked the floor. After my toe healed, the same day i took off the foot cast thingy they gave me, I broke my big toe again, same one.

I put on socks sitting down now.



12. Little rascals at play

I think I was 8 years old and attending this big halloween party in a small town. There must have been +50 people at the party from all ages. And what do kids at these kinds of parties do? Run around chasing each other and have fun. Doing kids stuff, you know. Well, I was having fun with my step-sister, running through the crowd of people when suddenly I fall down and hear someone behind me swear out loud. I had tripped on some old mans cane and he too had fallen down, hitting the ground shoulder first. I was mortified and started to cry from shame but the fall was soon forgotten and the night continued.

Two years pass. Same halloween party with same people attending. Same old man standing in the crowd with his cane.. and there i went again, tripping myself and he falling down shoulder first.

From that day I did my everything to avoid him at these parties.



13. Accidental generosity.

I accidentally gave a homeless drug addict (I realized this later) a $50 note instead of a 5$ and then did the same thing a month ago to the same guy.



14. Just to see what would happen.

When I was like 7 I was in my dad's apartment and it was really hot, so he put on a fan. I was entranced by the fan, so in my infinite wisdom I put my finger between the blades to see what would happen. Cue me almost losing my left index finger. I go show my dad and he laughs and bandages it and whatever.

I come in 20 minutes later, bandage in left hand, blood everywhere on my right hand. When he asked what the hell happened I told him I wanted to see if the same thing would happen to my other hand. It did.



15. The slip.

Found myself in a hotel room with beer and no bottle opener, had seen people using lighters to open bottles and figured it shouldn't be too hard. Lighter slipped, sliced off actual chunk of flesh from finger on the bottle cap, left with a very scarred knuckle. 5 year later I found myself in the exact same situation and did the exact same thing. It took two scarred knuckles to figure out that maybe I should just keep a bottle opener on me when I travel.



16. Someone stop this person.

Got drunk, punched a window for fun (because they do it in the movies), shattered my wrist, mangled my hand so severely you could see my tendons through the cuts. Arterial spray was so bad that I got blood on the celling.

2 years later, got drunk, punched the same window, because somehow I decided the new glass I had put up was weaker than the previous (it was simply modern, thinner glass). The underbelly of my hand (karate chop area) was practically cut off, severed my thumb tendon and cut up my radial nerve so badly that I lost all feeling from under my palm up to the middle of my forearm.

You'd think that was the end of it... fast forward 6 months later, messing around with thick working gloves made for handling barbed wire. I spotted a panel of glass leaning against a wall, and figured I'd get my revenge, because no way anything can cut through this armored gauntlet looking glove. Punched said glass, ended up with a 6cm shard of glass stuck to my wrist.



17. Sounds messy.

Trust my cheating boyfriend.



18. Stay away from barns.

Walking in my grandparent's barn in the hay loft. Didn't know a hay loft would have an opening in the floor to toss hay bales into the horse stalls below. Also didn't know my grandfather had put a thin sheet of plexiglass over the opening because he didn't feed them in the stalls and didn't want the hay falling down into the stalls by accident. The plexiglass had gotten pretty much covered completely by hay. So as my cousins and I were walking through the loft, I stepped into the plexiglass... and disappeared into the horse stall below. I was maybe 6 years old and it was a good 15ft drop, so not a minor thing. I wasn't injured but it was a very scary event. Parents were retrieved, I was crying, it became a moderately big deal. Luckily the stall was empty at the time.

About 2 years later I'd basically forgotten about the whole thing, but my cousins had not. Again we were playing around in the hay loft. One if my cousins dared me to walk across a stretch of the floor that was covered with hay (the plexiglass had been replaced). Being one of the youngest of the cousins of course I was not going to chicken out on such a simple dare. So I did... and again disappeared into the horse stall. This time falling in right behind the very big, very skittish Arabian horse my grandparent's owned. To this day no one can understand why that horse didn't kick out, he would freak out at everything. But he just looked back at me very confused as to why this small screaming human had suddenly appeared in his stall...

I was not allowed in the barn anymore after that.



19. That's one way to deal with it.

Chipped a front tooth biting my nails. Three times. Same tooth, same nail.

After the last time I said whatever and got a silver tooth.



20. Hey grandpa!

Dick-pic to grandpa. Honestly the second time was easier to explain.



21. He's ready to help.

My father-in-law has twice sponsored Nigerian princes.



22. Tawny's world.

Oh man, there are no once-in-a-lifetime mess ups in my world. In the past two months I've blown the tires on two rental cars immediately after pulling out of the lot. Last night I had to break into my own apartment after forgetting my keys but it's cool, I've done this before. Earlier this summer I dropped my phone in water, got it replaced, and dropped my new phone in water in a span of about 48 hours. I accidentally put ear medicine in my eye twice (the bottle looks like a bottle of eye drops) before I decided to throw out the bottle. I've broken two lemon juicers by pressing them two hard. I've missed... several flights after writing down the wrong date or time.



23. Maybe just tell the story next time.

When I was much younger I used to bite down a bit on a glass when I was drinking it and one day I bit through it and cut my mouth.

A few weeks later I was out with my parents for dinner and they were telling some friends about what I did and I said "it was like this" and bit down on the glass breaking it and cutting my mouth again!



24. A consistent shooter.

I was at a shooting range and managed to hit the clip holding the target and it broke. The range manager guy came and replaced the clip, replaced the target and gave me the go ahead to start shooting again.

I aimed, pulled the trigger and hit the brand new clip and broke it again.



25. The curse of carbon.

One time I tried to make a mixed drink in a martini shaker, and said drink had soda in it... The lid blew off and sprayed soda and vodka everywhere, it was a huge mess and I vowed to learn my lesson.

Then somewhere down the road several years later I found myself doing it again, and I realized what I had done with the clarity of a Vietnam flashback only moments before the lid popped off and sprayed soda everywhere.



26. Not helping.

My friend's dad was dying of terminal cancer, and decided to marry his girlfriend before he died. When talking to said friend, to her extreme distress, I accidentally called the wedding a funeral. Realizing my mistake, I tried to correct myself by saying "Oh god I'm sorry I meant funeral!" I called it a funeral twice. Not good.



27. The great and unintended deluge.

So I was asked by a family that lived down the road to look after their assorted chickens/ ducks while they were away for a few days. All I had to do was feed the chickens, change their water and turn a tap on for a few minutes to top up the tiny duck pool. Fine, no probs, easy - except I didnt turn the tap off. I realized about 6 hrs later, got over there as quickly as I could and was witness to a scene of complete chaos. the garden was totally flooded, which the ducks were loving! the chickens were gathered on a tiny slowly shrinking island and everything was generally in a right state. Mercifully the water drained over the next few days and I managed to tidy up enough to completely get away with it. The family was so please in fact that they asked me to look after their birds again about 6 months later. And yes, the next time I left the tap on and did exactly the same thing again.



28. Things got hot and spicy that night.

Cut up a Naga-Limon hybrid chilli (Delicious by the way) but extremely hot. Used my bare hands to pick up the chilli flakes and deposited them in my mince mix.

Front door bell goes. Drop everything and open the door, its my mate whos come round and brought his girlfriend. I shake both their hands. Didnt even realize.

Later that night, after we'd eaten and they had gone to bed. I hear a ear piercing scream from the bedroom. At first I thought, meh, maybe they are into kinky stuff. Nope. She comes running downstairs nearly naked and straight into the bathroom, shower on, crying, sobbing, desperate pleas to God for mercy etc. Shortly afterward, boyfriend comes flying downstairs nearly naked and nearly knocks the door down trying to get in the bathroom.

After a good half hour of pain and misery, they both emerge. She has panda eyes from all of the tears, his face and eyes are incredibly red but hes holding his boxers tight.

I put two and two together, basically they had gotten a little frisky upstairs, with Naga chilli all over their hands, which had obviously wandered to intimate places. I was not a popular man that evening.

Later that month, I took another Naga-Limon from the freezer, defrosted it and chopped it up. Used my bare hands to dump it in the stew. Both cats come in the cat flap and decide to make a fuss about being fed, so being the kind owner I am I dole out some cold cuts from the fridge...with my bare hands.

Both cats, after wolfing down the cold cuts, start projectile vomiting everywhere and drinking the water dry, licking themselves and generally meowing and panting. I have never laughed so hard and felt so bad.



29. Really enthusiastic about Waterworld.

I paid for Waterworld on demand then got drunk and bought it again on itunes.



30. Life and Death in the Mortal Realm.

A friend had the following story:

When he was a kid his family climbed into the car to leave for Sunday church services. They felt an uncomfortable thump as they left the garage. To everyone's horror, their father had just backed over the family cat. It was deader than hell.

The father decided to make the best of the situation.

Remaining calm, he explained that death was an integral part of life here in the mortal realm, that all things have a "natural time" and that this would be an opportunity for the family to proceed to church services, spend some quality time remembering the dearly departed pet, celebrate their lives together as a family, be thankful for their many blessings, cherish each other, and then go have a comforting Sunday brunch together at their favorite restaurant.

This all went according to plan.

Except that, when they arrived home and pulled into the driveway, the father ran over their other cat.




Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.