Attentive People Share The Funniest Conversations They Ever Overheard.

Alright, so eavesdropping is wrong. But sometimes you can't help it. And sometimes they're asking for it. And sometimes, people just say the most adorable things!

This piece is based on a Quora question. Link on the last page.

1. The three million dollar man.

I was on the train heading to work when a middle-aged guy wearing a suit starts talking on the phone to someone who was supposedly a business partner.

After a bit of smalltalk, he started talking with a loud, obnoxious voice telling this man that, I think we can both make around 3 million on this deal. But that's nothing compared to the contract I signed last month! Hah! Or the wife wanted new tint on our BMW so that's at the workshop, and I had to take the train.

The train was moderately full, so obviously he was getting a few looks from other passengers. He seemed to thoroughly enjoy being the centre of attention.

And then, at the most hilarious moment possible, his phone actually started to ring. He quickly declined the call and starting looking around to see if anyone was looking, which we all were. You could see the whole world collapse in front of him.

It's safe to say that the train burst out with laughter, and this mans face went more red than I thought humanly possible.


A few people made little comments as he hurried off at the next stop, but my personal favourite was from a young guy who shouted best of luck with the deal! And I hope your wife enjoys the new tint!

Corey Alexander

2. So adorable.

I was standing in line at the store when I heard two old ladies talking.

I bet Im older than you.

Yeah? I just had my 75th birthday.

The first woman grinned.

Im 89 years old.

Wow! You dont look a day over 70.

I color my hair, she said, pointing to her roots.

I smiled. I cant wait for the day when the phrase you dont look a day over 70 is a compliment.


Jordan Yates

3. You CANNOT say that!

I was standing behind a lady in Starbucks, in LA. She orders unnecessarily complex coffee with whipped cream and a bunch of bagel bites. Then she asks for a small cup of milk. "Make sure its whole milk. Not 2%.

Ok, sure. Would you like that in your drink, instead of the soy milk? (continued...)

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No, mine has to have soy. This needs to be in a cup. A small cup.

What name should I put on that?

Susan on the coffee and Mighty Pussy on the milk.

Im sorry?

Mighty Pussy. Thats who the milk is for.

I start laughing.

And then Mighty Pussy stuck her head out of this ladys purse-closet, and meowed loudly.


And they did announce Mighty Pussy when the order was ready. I laughed so hard I snorted. Everyone was so serious. This whole scene still cracks me up.

Alexandra Damsker

4. Keystone cop.

Very early one morning, I was third in line at the counter of a deli/convenience store just outside of Harvard Square, right behind a fairly tall, imposing policeman. The person at the front of the line was taking a long time, and the policeman obviously zoned out.

Finally, the first person finished and stepped aside. The policeman stepped forward, and firmly demanded of the clerk, License and registration, please! Oh, sorry, sorry. A pack of Winstons, please.


Yaakov Z. Cohn

5. Boreded up.

Overheard on a train between two apparent friends in their teens, a girl and a boy. The girl spoke American English, the boy accented English, and she was helping him practice.

They closed their book and were quiet for awhile when the boy says to the girl, I am boring. And in an exasperated voice she replies, NO Bill, its BORED, you are BORED, not borING. This is why no one wants to hang out with you, you are always telling them you are boring!


Kim Kelley-Wagner

6. That's what she said.

It was on the bus. From the Valley to Los Angeles. A guy and his girlfriend, I assume. Here is the conversation as close as I can remember. It started as we rolled onto the freeway to go over Cahuenga Pass. She starts it.

Well, then I started pulling on it. And it just kept coming and coming, so I kept pulling, and wrapping it around my fingers.

Wow! How long was it? (continued...)

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I dont know a few feet, maybe ten, twenty? And I tried to break it, you know, snap it off but it was just too strong. So I kept pulling and winding. I knew I was unraveling something but couldnt figure out what! So I just kept on pulling.

Was it from your bra?

Nope, it was at my waist. Im pretty sure it was from the bottom part of my clothing. Pretty soon I had a whole handful of it and I was wadding it into a ball and wrapping that.

Had to be your panties! Ill bet it was your panties.

No, I already told you I was certain it wasnt them. Wrong color. Anyway, so this went on and on and I was sure my parents would notice. But you know them. Oblivious.

By this time we had left the freeway and gotten into L.A. I was transfixed!


People started getting on and off as the bus went down Broadway.

Anyway this big ball was in my left hand and I was using my right hand to wind it. Oh, heres our stop.

Wow, so what was it?

Well it turned out that I had completely unraveled my-

At that point they had arisen and stepped off the bus! As the bus doors closed, one lone voice could be heard as it pulled away


I never DID find out what she had completely unraveled!

Penina Winisdatter

7. The most Scottish thing ever.

Two old ladies were sitting on the bus in front of me, in Edinburgh. One had just come back from a holiday to the US - or maybe Canada, I forget which. She spent about five minutes expounding on how much better the service over there was, how friendly the shop staff were, how helpful everyone was, how everyone wished you a nice day. This was followed by a thoughtful silence and then she added, It gets on yer nerves.


Claire Jordan

8. Mile HIGH city.

I was visiting Colorado for a 2 week backpacking trip when I heard this. It all happened in a Denver airport bathroom

A man answered his phone call while taking a pee. Hey, babe! he exclaimed. Where am I? Uhm, Colorado he said dreadfully. You can just see the worried look on his face. It was so intense everyone stopped their business but him to watch this phone call. (continued...)

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He continued to talk with his girlfriend about how he was here for business (funny, he looked like a stoned high school senior). He was definitely in Colorado to get high and other stuff that definitely wasn't business.

The man looked at all the men and boys embarrassingly around him before answering whatever the girl asked next.

Yah, babe. When I see you, expect the biggest, baddest, penis sandwich ever.


The whole bathroom erupted in laughter. I myself was almost on the floor. Once we started laughing, I am guessing his girlfriend heard us and assumed he was at a party and immediately hung up.

The man was out of there before we could say sorry.

Kyle Mital

9. Freedom isn't free.

Out at a bar, table of four girls together behind me.

Two guys walk up to them, "Hey are these seats free?"

Girls: *enthusiastically* "Yeah, definitely!"

Guys: "Oh awesome!" *pick up the two seats and walk away*

Living in the south, it was the coldest thing I've seen all winter.

Jordan Allen

10. Keep boning in the office.

I am in the elevator with three co-workers, all of whom are artists. We are going to lunch and discussing what is on our plates for the day.

Artist 1: If you need help skinning the cat let me know. Ive got some free time. Waiting for Artist 2 to finish boning the female.

Artist 2: Its not my fault boning her takes so long!

Artist 3: I should finish skinning the cat before tonight, but thanks.

I was trying so hard not to laugh at the two lawyer types who were in the elevator with us. Their look was priceless, and I burst out laughing when they sprinted out.

For the puzzled:

Skinning means adding the texture to a 3D model. So he had to texture the (big) cat model.

Boning means adding the bones (or skeleton) to a 3D model. We had one female playable character who needed a different skeleton so she would move correctly.


Jennifer Bullard

11. The French connection.

I am French and my girlfriend is Indonesian. We communicate between ourselves in English, because my girlfriend doesnt speak a word of French.

We went to my grandmas house in the countryside of France to pay her a visit, and on this side of my family, no one speaks a word of English, even the basics such as thank you etc (continued...)

Keep reading on the next page!

My girlfriend was using this technique that consists of repeating the last words of the sentence that has been said to you when you dont understand. Of course you wont go too far in the conversation with repeating the last few words, especially when you have no idea what it means, but you can pretend that you get the message.

I was trying to help both sides most of the time, but once in a while, I wont lie, it was super fun to just sit and watch and see how it went. One moment was particularly funny. I was in the kitchen, listening to my grandma talk to my girl.

My grandma, bringing a chicken while looking at my girlfriend: Et voil un petit poulet. (Here it is - a little chicken.)

My girlfriend, with no idea of what have just been said: Petit poulet?

My grandma, smiling: Petit poulet.

My girlfriend, super enthusiastic: Petit poulet!

My grandma, thrilled: Petit poulet!


Then everyone laughed with no idea of why this conversation even happened!

When we left, my girlfriend cried a little because she found my grandma adorable, and my grandma told me that my girlfriend was great.


From the few days we spent there, this was probably the deepest conversation they had without me translating.

Alexis Alf

12. Plunging the depths.

I was in a local grocery store that caters to Latin customers.

Although I'm fluent in Spanish, I stand out. Like I don't belong there. But it's in my neighborhood. The closest market. That's where I frequently shop. My pantry is packed with products with labels written in Spanish.

While in the housewares aisle one day, two sisters were looking at a huge toilet plunger and were arguing whether their puppy could possibly swallow it or not! (continued...)

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They argued if it was cheaper than a regular dog toy, probably made out of the same super-strength rubber, and wondered at the same time, if their puppy could get it down his throat and choke on it.

What? Seriously? It was huge!

Have you seen how BIG those industrial-strength toilet plungers are? They were barely able to get their hands around it. I wondered just how big their puppy was, to be able to swallow that thing.

One sister went on to refer to the time Francisco swallowed a beer can, whole! They laughed at this. The other, laughed and said that was nothing, Mara could swallow a baseball bat and a beer can simultaneously.

They belly laughed. So did I. I couldn't help it.

The sisters swivelled their heads in my direction, as they suddenly realized I understood every single word they were saying. They explained their puppy was an exceptionally large 1 year-old Rottweiler, and had a chewing problem.


They explained that they had read about the Kong toys everybody was buying to curb chewing problems in dogs, and pointed out that for 1/4 of the price (and the same industrial strength rubber) they could devise their own version of the Kong with the plunger.

When they wondered if the puppy could choke on it, they meant, could he get his nose stuck inside with the treats, not literally that he might swallow it. That part was a joke.

They said they would trim off the inner sleeve, so that the suction would be broken, and of course, they would also remove the plunger stick.

I bought two plungers for my own dog, and cut the inner sleeve out, sanding the edges smooth. I removed the stick and filled the hole with peanut butter and stuck it in the freezer to create a solid plug.

When it had frozen solid, I filled it again with water, and refroze my homemade Kong toys and made frozen summer pupsicles for the upcoming heatwave.

I had backups to keep my dog cool.

Kong toys retail for $17 in my area. The plungers cost $3.69 each. I saved a great deal of money having eavesdropped on that conversation that day.

And they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks!

Wendi Tibbets


Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.