Ah, la amore. We want it so badly.
'Love' is the most common word found in contemporary song titles. It is this idea that has followed around humanity for literal millennia. Love is desired, it is needed, and sometimes, it is found.
And then sometimes you screw up royally in the name of love. In fact, because it feels so high stakes, you seem to do that pretty often. But fear not! You are not alone in your lovelorn pursuits.
Here were some of those answers.
Ms. Darbus' Drama ClassGiphy
I had a crush freshman year of high school, we always talked on myspace but hardly in person even though we spent a lot of time together and I would walk her to 6th period drama class. One day I felt like I hadn't spent enough time with her so i went into the classroom, I figured there were so many students (probably 40-60 kids) the teacher wouldn't notice. So there i am sitting in the classroom, not even next to her (it was a poorly thought out plan) After about 30 minutes the teacher calls me out.
Something like "excuse me, who are you? I noticed you at the beginning of class" now the entire class is staring at me in anticipation for my response. I quietly mumble "I was just interested to see what you guys do in drama class" to which she loudly responds "I'm sorry you're going to have to speak up!" Seconds feel like an eternity with everyone's eyes on me, one student repeats what i said but in the most awkward way possible while everyone is still looking at me i just run out of the classroom. It's been 11 years and this still haunts me.
At Least She Liked Them
In kindergarten, I proposed to my crush by yelling across the playground. Uh... didn't get an answer back.
In high school, I got some presents for my (different) crushs' birthday (barely talked to her in person because I was painfully shy, but always talked to her on AIM) Went up to her awkwardly with a red face, gave her the presents, said happy birthday and walked away immediately out of sheer embarassment.
She told me later she liked the gifts.
A Cringe For The Ages
(I was young!) Called crush's phone every 60 seconds for an hour (no answer, repeat). I figured she'd pick up once she got home and I wanted to talk to her ASAP. Unfortunately, she was on the phone with someone else the entire time, getting the "you have another call" notifications about incoming calls, just wasn't responding to them. After about the 60th time she picked up and screamed WHAT!?!?!?!?! and I tried to worm out of it like it wasn't me that had just called her over and over and over. She didn't buy it of course. This one still keeps me up at night 30 years later.
How Did It Get Here
Gave the girl a copy of Nickleback's "Far Away" in hopes that expressing passion and desire through Chad Kroegers chocolate bars would be enough to avoid making any awkward confessions myself..
Found it a week later at my aunt's house with no explanation. Definitely still causes me a cold sweat from time to time.
And I'm Injured
I was VERY little.
I was at a playground on the swings next to this girl I had a crush on. My dad just gave me an underdog (super duper swing boost for those who aren't familiar) and I got the BEST IDEA.
I turn to the girl next to me, and in the best voice my pre-pubescent self could manage, I said "watch this."
I let go of the chains hoping to be able to balance, but instead I shot off backwards like a rocket and immediately blacked out. Ended up being dragged back home in a wagon and woke up on the couch.
I Think I Love You, So What Am I So Afraid Of
When I was little probably fifth grade, I had a crush. Let's name her... Sydney. So throughout the school year we were really good friends. We moved up to sixth grade and luckily went to the same school. I started to like her because it seemed she always gave me good luck. She was also super pretty. I was really into music around that time (you probably know where this is going) and I was really good at singing.
In my old school, we had half year through parties. And I thought that was the perfect time to do it. I wrote a love song a few days prior to the party day. Then went to school.
I had the paper with the song folded up in my pocket, and when the party started I offered her some of my chips. Then I sat her down and started singing. Literally everyone stopped talking and it was just me singing. When I was done, she clapped some laughed and some clapped. Later that day at the end of school when we walked home. She expressed that my singing was bad. But she loves the way I had so much courage and dignity to go and sing to her in front of everyone. We decided we should start dating. I also had my first kiss with her.
When You Go A Step Too Far
In 12th grade I had a huge crush on this guy in one of my classes. I knew his favorite book and movie was Fight Club, so I Googled everything about it (along with watching the movie). On Valentine's Day, I sent him a card that said I want to have your abortion and gave him my phone number.
The Twelve Year Old Creep Factor
When I was 12 I had a crush on a girl in my grade school. During our school's 7th grade dance, I didn't realize that as I was trying to psych myself up to ask her to dance, I was actually following her around and she was VERY aware of it. She had to ask another kid to tell me to stop following her around and that I was being creepy. I ended up marrying another girl from my grade school class and we all got together like 20 years later at a bar and I got to apologize and sort of explain what I was trying to do.
Ah, Valium-Times Day
In 7th grade I bought chocolate for all my friends on Valentines Day. I bought an extra one on purpose to give to my crush and play it off as having an extra one and that it wasn't specifically for them. I forgot about one of my friends and they asked for it when I said "oh look there's one more, haha who wants it" I pretended like I didn't hear him and gave it to my crush. He told me he was allergic to chocolate and gave it back to me.
I gave it to the forgotten friend. My crush later ate chocolate from another girl whom also crushes on him (I know because they ended up dating) the guy friend I neglected ended up revealing his feelings to me (the same day) but didn't want to make a move because of how focused I was on my crush. I ended up having a lonely day and a cringe-worthy memory to look back on :(
Did She Even Get It?Giphy
In 4th grade, we had a celebrity day where we would dress up as celebrities and set up like a wax museum. Parents and other teachers would come and could hear a little spiel we had prepared about our celebrity. Had a crush on a girl named Allison, so naturally, I dressed up as NASCAR driver Bobby Allison. Full jacket and helmet and all. Looking back, I can't believe that I thought this was a good idea.
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.