Biliginual People Share Times They've Overheard People Trash Talking Them And Clapped Back

Biliginual People Share Times They've Overheard People Trash Talking Them And Clapped Back

Even if you think the other person can't understand you.....they probably can. And then that's very embarrassing for you. So just don't do it or you might end up like these people.

overcastx14 asked:

People of Reddit who speak a language they don't look like they would speak, have you ever had someone talk bad about you in your second language? What happened after?

Here are some of the stories.


I'm white but reasonably fluent in Korean. When I went to an orthopedist in Korea for elbow pain a translator was provided by the hospital and I figured I might as well talk through him in case there was any specific medical terminology I didn't know. After describing my symptoms and a brief physical exam where I was visibly in pain, the translator told the doctor that he thought I was only pretending.

The thing was, he was doing an absolutely terrible job of translating even prior to that, so I quickly responded 'and you're only pretending to know English' (in Korean). The doc actually cracked a smile and the translator spent the rest of my visit sitting in his seat without saying a single word.

Funny, But Whoops!

Kinda the reverse, was visiting Hiroshima in Japan and walking around alone. Then i see a caucasian guy walk up to me, and in fluent Japanese asked me to take a photo of him in front of one of the monuments. For context, I'm Asian but I don't speak a word of Japanese. So after a couple of seconds i said "Uh.... do you speak English?".

Awkward silence ensues. He goes "uhhh... yeah". Easily made my day. We did make small talk after (oh hey where are you visiting from, etc) but went our separate ways.

Life Lessons

Almost been on the other side once. I live near german border. Once, together with my wife and daughter we decided to go to nearby german town for shopping. While we are entering a mall, my daughter (`13-14yo) tells me how cool is that nobody really can understand what we're talking about and we can practically say everything we want. In the same moment, security guard standing next to entrance grins and greets her with perfect polish "Dzie? Dobry". (Good Morning)

I didn't realize that her skin tone could get that red. I just thanked that man for mild but practical lesson.

Disgustingly Rude

First time I visited Montreal was on a school trip. I'm from Alberta, and our hotel receptionist knew this. I guess she had assumed we couldn't speak French, which, looking back, was pretty stupid of her. What kind of school would send non-French speaking kids to the only French province? Anyway. One of my friends was having an asthma attack, and the receptionist muttered under her breath, "étouffé, s'il te plaît." (suffocate, please) To which I responded, "Madame, parlez-vous à tous vos clients de cette manière?" (Madam, do you speak to all of your customers this way?) Not super clever on my part, but it shut her up.


Was sitting on the London tube on the way back from a long day at work, and overheard two older Irish ladies who had moved to London a good 40+ years ago speaking to each other in broken Irish.

They had just come from a Irish meetup event and were lamenting the fact that the Irish language was slowly dying off.

I was dressed in my suit like all the rest of the other city drones so there was nothing to single me out as Irish. (p.s I'm not ginger :) )

I leant over casually with a smile and said "Níl an teanga marbh fós" which translates to "The language isn't dead yet."

The surprise on their faces, and the smiles that followed were priceless, will never forget it! ?? ????


I've got two cases of this. One is me, one is an old co-worker. I was on a train in the UK recently and it was pretty full. There was a French couple stood near me who ended up trash talking the people around them. As soon as they got to me, I interrupted and said "Stop. I understand you." They eyed each other and shut up.

The other one is the flip side! Ex-colleague's friend is on a train in France, drunk and trash talking (in English) one particular woman sat a couple of seats behind. The woman doesn't interrupt and sits listening to it all. When it's time for her to get off, she walks by the ex-colleague's friend and says "I understood every word you said." The ex-colleague's friend almost died of embarrassment and shut up for the rest of the journey.

Trash Talking Their Own Country

I was on vacation in Turkey in 2016. On the first day I was at the beach like everybody would do. Of course I didn't know my way around the hotel so I just left my towel on the beach chair and went to my room to go on the toilet instead of aimlessly looking around the place for one. When I came back to my spot there was an older russian couple taking the chairs next to me. I laid back in my chair, put my hat on my face and just tried to snooze for some time in the shade.

A couple minutes later I hear the woman next to me saying "Look at those germans! Sleeping until until noon but always having to reserve the best spots early in the morning! F-ing nazis!" (in russian of course).

Some time later I woke up and had to pee again. I put my hat on the table next to me and asked them in russian "Do you undertand russian? Do you know where the nearest toilet is?".

The woman was turning so red you could mistake her for a tomato. Her husband told me where to go and so I went after I said thank you - in russian again. When I came back they were gone. I haven't seen them again until one week later on the flight back. To Germany. In the seats next to me.

I said I had hoped that they have enjoyed their vacation and asked if they mind me taking the seat next to the window so they wouldn't have to wake me mid flight to get up. While I didn't get any sleep on the flight they also haven't said a single word. Turns out they are living just a couple streets away from me since we all took the same subway and tram back home after landing at the airport.

Remember Finland

I live in Finland and every summer we get some obnoxious middle aged tourists who feel free to comment on people's appearances in plain English. FYI: everyone here understands you from age 10 to 60 at least.

Little Snap Judgements

My family is Georgian (the country) and I speak Georgian. This December, I went to visit family with an American friend. I stand out a bit but usually I'm not a dead giveaway, however she was. We (or I guess just I) overheard more than a couple of pretty rude, but honestly kinda funny comments in the streets, mostly from older people commenting on us being American and "dressing weird."


I'm one of the palest people I know, add to that blonde hair and a thick, northern (UK) accent I look like the last person on the planet to speak a middleastern language. We married into an Egyptian family and we spend plenty of time there, my Arabic isn't amazing but I can get by. I live for the horrified look on people's faces when I switch to Arabic. I used to do debt collection for a utility company and had a gentleman who refused to pay his bill. He called me all kinds of horrific names, I quickly told him in Arabic that I absolutely wouldn't tolerate language like that, that I was trying to help him and that he was bringing shame on his family. He stuttered for a good few minutes, apologized and ended up paying. However I got into trouble at work because all calls are recorded at the call centre and management were unable to review my call because they couldn't understand what I was saying. They were worried I could have said something offensive etc. So from then on we were forced to use professional translation services only on three way calls, which was an absolute pain.

Mountains Of Embarrassment

Mine is a pretty general story. Nothing too exciting but it still makes me grin when I think back on it.

Was traveling in Austria, getting on a shuttle to go from Innsbruck to a small little town higher in the mountains. I was chatting and laughing with a few friends as I got on, my American accent on full display. There were two older women who gave us weird looks as we boarded, and we sat down across the aisle and just behind them. Almost as soon as we sat down, one turned to the other and said in German, "Stupid American tourists are always so loud." I was sitting nearest to them on the aisle, so I leaned forward and said in my far less perfect (but still understandable) German, "and you're not as quiet as you think."

It was a looooooonnggg ride of pleasant silence up through the mountains.


I look quite not italian, but certainly European, long dark hair and quite pale skin. At the time I was on vacation with my family, including my old grandpa suffering from Parkinson's and dementia and I was in the best shape of my life. We were visiting Italy and looking at all the old stuff my grandmother remembered while I pushed her around in a wheelchair in the hilly cities around the Garda Lake.

One day while my family and I were taking a stroll, I notice two ladies in their 40s discussing me in German, a language I don't speak, but definitely understand. The conversation sounded a bit like:

"Look at that handsome young lad. Pushing around his grandmother, he is so nice"

"And good looking too!"


Bad news my father and stepmother I was travelling with also understand German and I haven't seen my dad with that kind of s*-eating-grin for ages. So now I get teased about pulling old German ladies at family dinners.

Dutch Oven

Just recently when I was in Malta. My friend is Bulgarian and she has friends from all over the place there too, so we all speak English. However I'm dutch and when were eating at this restaurant, there was this one old dutch couple relatively close to our table. The guy kept swearing because he thought we were too loud, but we really weren't, it just seemed they were a bit bitter and sour because they had nothing to say to one another. Swearing in dutch is a bit special too since compared to most languages it's incredibly harsh. It's basically wishing diseases like Cancer and Typhus to one another.

At some point he was just kind of mumbling swear words one after the other pretending to look outside the window, when even his wife was telling him to stop. So I turned and I asked in dutch "everything alright, nice weather out isn't it?" They replied back in kind and I didn't hear him swear for the rest of the evening.


I know a decent amount of ASL (American Sign Language) and was in my second college course learning ASL when this happened.

My younger sister's friend was going to buy a puppy and wanted me to go so she wasn't meeting strangers alone. The group of people we are meeting get out of the car and we realize they are Deaf.

The girl selling the puppy to my sister's friend starts talking to her and I'm just chilling off to the side.

Another girl and a guy were off to the side also. The girl was signing stuff about me and my sister's friend being 'hearing' and just rude stuff in general. I don't remember much, but the guy noticed I was watching the conversation. He told the trash talker to quit because he thought I could understand what she was saying. She blew him off and continued.

Eventually my sister's friend buys the puppy and as we are saying 'goodbyes' I sign, "Thanks for meeting us. Have a great day and have a safe drive home." I swear to god the dude that was telling the trash talker to be quiet earlier about pissed his pants laughing at her. It made my day.

My Glasses Can Hear, Too

I went on a vacation to the keys like a year ago and I walk into the bathroom at my hotel and as I'm going to go into the stall this Cuban janitor lady sees me and tells me in broken english that I can't come in.

I say okay and as I'm leaving she says "Tiene espejuelos por gusto, No ve ni pinga"

Pretty much saying I have glasses for no reason and that I see f-ck all.

Now I'm a 6"1 white-skinned dude with light brown hair and green eyes, Far from a typical Cuban.

I walk back inside the bathroom when I hear her say that and tell her

"Miss, I'm Cuban too, I heard what you said"

She gets red like a tomato and denies ever saying anything.

And An Insult, Too

I am fluent in Spanish because I lived in a Spanish speaking country and my wife and her family are all native Spanish speakers. But as I am fairly pale most dont expect me to speak Spanish.

One day when I was working retail I was helping this Latino family: abuela (grandmother), husband wife and kids; who all spoke English very well, buy a computer.

Since they all spoke English I didn't mention me being able to speak Spanish. However when I recommended a more expensive computer that they were looking at (the one they wanted sucked and wouldn't have been good for what they wanted to do). The abuela spoke to the husband in Spanish saying "this gringo doesn't know what he's talking about get the cheaper one".

I looked her dead in the eye and responding in Spanish said "I actually know exactly what I'm talking about as I have been doing this for many years." I then turned walked away to check and see if we had the one I was recommending in stock. The abuela didnt say another word the entire time they were there and they bought the computer I recommended.

Another story is my wife and I went to the Mexican consulate and when I asked a security guard where the bathroom was, he responded to me in broken English that it was down the hall to the left. it happens constantly.

Learn Your Lesson

I was living in Jersey and got into a taxi. The driver was on the phone and started talking in Spanish to the other end about me; how he just picked up some white girl and then must've answered the "What does she look like?", saying I was cute for a white girl. I'm very light-skinned because I take after my dad, who's Cuban. My mom, who is Puerto Rican has very dark olive skin.

Once he got off the phone, I said to him in Spanish that he shouldn't always assume someone is a "gringa" just because he thinks they look it. His eyes about bugged out of his head and I laughed. He started apologizing and told him it was ok, because he didn't say anything too badly, but that I hope he learned a lesson.


Not me but my friend. Arabic is her second language (her dad is Jordanian, mom is american). At the grocery store the two young guys in line behind her at check out were going on and on in arabic about her large breasts and what they would do to her. Finally she's had enough and turns around let's them know she understood everything they just said. They were obviously shocked, embarrassed, and said nothing.

Turned Out Great

Somewhat related. I was on the bus in Chicago and there was a bunch of Chinese students on the bus. This old -ss white guy comes back there asking if it's the "Chinese section of the bus?" People are looking up slowly like WTF is this going? Old guy busts out some perfect Chinese. He'd traveled all over China with his brother after WW2.

Goodbye Losers

We were visiting the Grand Canyon, and found ourselves on the same tour bus as a group of Germans. At the time, my mom was particularly heavy, which I guess one of the Germans took personal offense to, and loudly told her friends as much. Several laughed.

So my dad speaks German, and had a big issue with this, so he starts laughing with them and says in German, "that's hilarious! I like to tell jokes too. Want to hear one? It's about some very stupid Germans."

Needless to say, they did their best to avoid us after that.

He actually only recently told my mom what actually happened on that bus (at the time, he told her he accidentally offended them). She thought it was hilarious.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.