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Boarding School Students Reveal Their Craziest Stories

Non-prep school kids typically don't like prep school kids because they have more fun. Because they're rich. Anyway, enjoy some tall tales from private school students.

HarbingerOfYeet asked people who studied in boarding schools: What are your craziest stories from your school life?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

Can we top this today? 

I went to boarding School from age 9-16.

In my country, parents usually wait until you are at least 12-13 but there was a big war in my town. On the day that the war started, we were all at school. Every car on he road was stoned, overturned and set alight. The riot police came and flung all us little kids into a walled compound adjacent from the school to keep us from the mob. I remember being cold and holding onto my little brother. My classmates were all with me as well. It was pitch dark by the time we heard our parents calling out our names. The next day, it was revealed that 11 children from my primary school had been killed in the riot. Some parents moved, some- like mine- sent their kids to boarding school. I went to the same school as 6 of my classmates. We all had some form of PTSD by the time we arrived at school.

In boarding school, our dorms were connected but there was a distinct boys side and girls side, chaperoned 24/7 by Matron- Comber Of Hair.

Anyway, our new boarding school was right on the edge of a national park and one night we heard a thundering and a trumpeting. Apparently, a rogue elephant had decided to break the fence and go on rampage in our school. We were mostly safe in the dorm, but villagers were screaming, and firing Ak's and trying to distract the elephant. Then a helicopter came and a guy shot a tranquilizer dart at the elephant. It didn't fall right away but teetered dangerously towards our dorms. I mean he could have kicked the door down but mercifully fell like 2 meters from the door. We were terrified!!! the 7 of us were freaking the f*ck out and freaking out the other kids too.

Anyway, a large truck and crane came and they lifted the elephant onto the truck and took him back to the preserve. That night there was no boys side or girls side. all the boys came over to our side and brought their mattresses and slept in the hallway. Eventually the teachers decided to move the boys beds in (all our parents were Okay with this as we needed each other so much) and we had the first co-ed dorm. This carried on for 4 years until we went to the high school section! We remained as a cohort throughout and while other kids got separated, the 7 of us always slept in the same dorm no matter what. Oh and we always said good night to each other, ritualistically.

Suffice to say, none of us has any remnants of PTSD.

Miraculously, none of us even grew up to date each other. We still keep in touch and everyone once in while, someone from across the world will text me goodnight.

Edit: WOW!!! this blew up and my first gold too! Idk what gold is but I daresay I think its good:)The country was Kenya in East Africa. I can't say the school name (idk why but something about not providing identifying details) but it was near Lake Nakuru National Park South Western Mau National reserve, and bunch of other parks. The town where the war was was Kisumu. Dr. Robert Ouko had been killed (allegedly by the president, Daniel T. Arap Moi) and burned, and when his body was found, it sparked a massive riot and for months the town was on lock down.

EDIT#2: Matron- Comber of hair was in charge of combing our hair. I am African but my mother is Indian and for some sadistic reason wanted me to have long hair. Anyone who has tight curly hair knows that its impossible for a 9 year old child to manage long hair on their own. So Matron-Comber of Hair was in charge of combing and braiding my hair every morning and night. She was in charge of all the girls hair, as well as some of the boys (2 were biracial and their hair was HARD!) so anyway, Matron - Comber of hair would line us up and try to comb our hair with a brush for the white and Indian children's hair. Of course it did nothing and it would snag and break my hair. Then I would cry, and then matron would cane me for crying, it was a right clusterf*ck. But I would leave that dorm every morning looking like a normal child instead of a golliwog. Thats what she used to call me, "our little golliwog."


This is kind of impressive.

Not me, but I go to a farming boarding school, and someone bought back a pet chicken from town, and managed to keep it in the dorm for 12 weeks without authorities knowing. It was like a personal alarm clock every morning too.


When you gotta go you gotta go.

Military school.

After evening study hall, my company was called to a meeting. "Don't stick your genitals out the window." Apparently, someone decided to do that rather than go to the bathroom.


This happens more often than you'd think

Edit: And not just at military boarding schools, others as well.


I thought peeing in your sink was the usual practice.


It was.


He raised the dead.

One time, I had a dorm pet beta fish called Weed von Marijuana, for the little plastic seaweed toy that came with his tank. I regularly maintained his tank, but one time I pulled him out too roughly, and so he got scared and played dead. Thinking I had to bury him, I decided to call the only other person in the dorms at that moment - a very studious, reclusive student - to join me in the burial ritual. We somehow found a way to light a candle (illegal in the dorms) and dimmed the lights, as we made a candlelit burial procession from the kitchenette to the bathroom. All the while, I was holding my dead fish up, lion king style and we wore blankets like hooded robes while chanting somber tunes. When I was at the crescendo of the tunes and was about to pour my fish into the toilet, he started flopping around, and at the last second, I got to keep him.


Nah you just summoned his soul back from the dead.




Best years of this person's life.

I went to an Episcopalian boarding high school in New Hampshire.

One year anonymous letters were sent to all the black students with a picture of a target and the word "bang" written on them. The incident rocked the school but it was awesome how the community came together in support of each other. The FBI got involved and I remember giving a statement to two agents. I don't believe that case was ever resolved.

One of my classmates got kicked out for academic dishonesty because he cheated on a Spanish test. He was a native speaker.

The school got flooded out one spring and the last few months of the year were cancelled, including finals.

During my 5th form year, my dorm had a massive underground Texas hold em ring going. Of course, gambling for real money was strictly against the rules, but we managed to create a good system for concealing what we were doing even if faculty visited our room while we were playing. Despite being a bunch of high school students, there were never any instances of not paying up, which I find impressive in hindsight.

The mini library in the main academic building was one of the most popular spots for loud sex. I regularly heard people going at it at late hours while passing through.

The school internet from the dorms shut off at night until around 6 am, and it was normally quite slow otherwise. A friend of mine figured out that he could set up a VPN through a laptop he left in the science building. By connecting to that laptop, not only did we have 24/7 internet access, but during the hours the dorm internet was cut off, the VPN internet was blazing f*cking fast - the entire campus's bandwidth being used only by the few people my friend entrusted the information to. We called it Ford Prefect and it lasted a while until a faculty member somehow found out about it. He only got a slap on the wrist.

I'm probably forgetting a lot, this sh*t was so long ago. Boarding school is f*cking nuts and if I had a time machine I'd happily do it all over again.


For girls, boarding school is no fairy tale.

I wish your question was, "people who went to boarding school, how is it different to what you see in the movies?" I went to an exclusive all girls boarding school: it's not hot girls having pillow fights in skimpy lingerie. It's bad skin, braces and men's pj's (as in, that's what we all wore to bed).

When there were school functions (to raise money) we were the waitresses/slave labour. One time I nicked a few bottles of wine from one of these events & hid them up in the roof above our dorm. By the time that story went through the school gossip system (& got back to teachers) I was supposedly running a bar in the attic.

Late at night (2am'ish) i'd sneak out & over to the boys boarding school down the road. We'd just do stupid stuff like take their bikes or skateboards & ride around the neighbourhood, then purposely put them back in different places.

Two girls did get expelled for sneaking out through my escape route to go to a John Mellencamp concert.


Also attended all girls' boarding school and wore pajamas nearly exclusively when we were out of uniform.


Every school has one...

Fall 2012. One of the newer girls in school ran to the teachers in hysterics. She's deathly allergic to peanuts, and claimed someone crushed up some in her room after she got in a shouting match with some of the other girls.

The girls' floor is on lock down, basically. We're all grounded from going to trips to the mall or movie theater or something. The police aren't called or anything, since it would have been impossible to prove anybody did anything. However, regular classes are cancelled, and for maybe a fortnight all we did was team building exercises. Long conversations about what "sisterhood" means to us. I'm sure in the teachers' heads dramatic music was playing like the climax of a chick flick about a close group of friends.

However, a lot of us girls became suspicious. If it were true that somebody basically attempted to murder her, who cleaned up the mess, if not to verify there really were peanuts in there? Why was she still in the same room, and why wasn't any of her stuff sanitized? That girl claimed that she cleaned it up herself, and that she'd only die if she ingested peanuts. A week after the initial incident, she claimed that she was airborne. Later on in the year, she claimed she'd die if she touched someone who happened to eat peanuts in the past 24 hours. Then, she told us she was going through chemotherapy for an overactive thyroid, which, by the way, was why she was morbidly obese. Mysteriously, she didn't miss a day of school or a hair on her head (I know that chemo doesn't guarantee hair loss but still, she looked fine).

Until we graduated, she was basically shunned by everyone in our age group; even the boys avoided her. However, the teachers and much younger students loved her, mostly because of the sweet "big sister" persona she maintained when you first meet her.

As far as I know, she's currently working at a nursing home for the elderly, and that kind of disturbs me. I guess she could have changed in over five years, but then again, she was actually already twenty years old at that point...


I have an overactive thyroid and let me tell you, chemotherapy is not a treatment for it nor is morbid obesity a side effect.


She had crazy stories about her damn thyroid problem. She showed us pics of her at a wedding that took place maybe the summer before she came to our school, and there she looked mildly chubby at best. Apparently her thyroid made her gain well over a hundred pounds. The spring before we graduated, she apparently claimed to the younger girls (like thirteen or so) that her thyroid problem was contagious that particular morning. (Then again, perhaps that wasn't her compulsively lying and rather her just trying to get those kids to fuck off...)

She constantly made excuses for her weight. That is, until a veterinarian told her that her horses' spines were all fucked up because of it, and as a result the guys who owned the barn/hosted horse racing competitions basically forbade her from riding until she dropped a few pounds. She initially claimed they were all fat shaming her, but eventually realized that her horses' physical health was at stake and she took up jogging. She actually lost a decent amount of weight!

...but then she claimed her family was soooo pooooor because they couldn't afford to have their horses live at their house. They had to keep them in a barn and pay their rent like a bunch of bums. Y'know, forgive me if this is judgmental, but if you live in Connecticut, have bought three racing stallions, and go to a private high school that costs ten grand a year, don't be so shocked if you end up living paycheck-to-paycheck.


Poor turtle.

So many. I'll share the first one that came to mind.

My roommate had bought a small turtle on a school trip without asking me. This was against school rules, but we decided to hide it by moving our bunk against the window and hiding its tank between my very large sheets and the window.

Eventually he moved it to his desk, which I also objected to, but our room was never checked. Asshats from the 2nd floor of our building would frequent our room, play with it, and sometimes 'accidentally' drop it.

One day, when we came into our room, it wasn't in the tank. My roommate, who does not give a f*ck about it, decides to just leave the room and let me figure it out. I turn the entire room inside out looking for it, and I'm starting to lose my sanity not finding this thing.

I check under his bed as a last resort, and see his dirty underwear. I decide to grab it just to clean the room some more, and I find the turtle wrapped in it, belly up, dry and not moving. I toss it back in its tank and, after a while, it begins to move again.

Needless to say, I took it back to my house the next break and care for it myself.

Another really fun story was the annual senior dorm retreat earlier this year. We went to a lake with a bunch of log cabins, where we split about 150 kids into 15 cabins. Obviously all the girls are on one side of the lake, and the guys on the other. The about 5 faculty on the trip with us are somewhere in the middle.

My cabin, which was the 2nd furthest guys dorm, looking for some fun, persuaded a small group of the girls to come to our cabin at around 1 AM. To our horror, we look outside and see all ~75 girls pouring over to our cabins little patio. We desperately try to quiet them down but they keep making noise and the faculty catch on.

One of the faculty starts walking over and, thankfully, we had someone keeping watch of them. Our guard quickly notifies the guys, and we alert the girls of the situation. Cornered and with nowhere to go, they desperately start streaming into the 3 closest guys cabins, including ours, in an attempt to hide. I funnel them into our bathroom, out of sight from windows or faculty. Their attempt was futile, however, as the faculty came in the cabin and basically gave the girls one chance to leave or face severe punishment. Suddenly, 30 girls flow out of our bathroom and sprint back to their cabins. The involved faculty never further addressed this incident.


Well, at least you got a turtle out of it. How is he/she doing now?


Thriving! It has quadrupled in size.


Ding dong.

Attended a New England boarding school for two years. It was what you may imagine. Lots of rich kids and athletes. This is a coed school.

Anyways craziest story... our school like many others had a chapel. The chapel had a big bell tower that was only accessible through a locked door.

One day I got to go up there for a photography class. On the way out I left it unlocked. At approximately 10 pm that night I snuck out of my dorm, as did a female friend. We met at the chapel and snuck in a back door.

We climbed the three internal ladders to the top and proceed to desecrate that bell tower, while looking over the entire campus. Not realizing how long we had been up there the clock struck 11 and the bells rang for lights out.

A bell like that ringing by your head is not enjoyable. I nearly fell off of the tower in the scramble to get down the first ladder. Then I was successful in sneaking back to my dorm to play video games or something.

We also had other crazy sh*t happen, lots of drugs, fights, suicide attempts, skinny dipping in the pond in the woods, having friends get you into NYC clubs. Just stupid high school sh*t but with more money.


Hey, it's not all turtles and bell towers.

Nothing crazy, it was just depressing--All we did was study--100% of our senior class was accepted to 4 year universities.


If you went to boarding school, what's your craziest memory?

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.