Advice

Boyfriend Sprints Off And Abandons GF Alone With Violent Mugger, Doesn't Call For An Hour

Life or death situations can bring out the best or the worst in people, but it's what you do after that initial moment of panic is over that really counts. Humans have a fight-or-flight response to danger, so running away from a mugger is a natural reaction, but abandoning your girlfriend and hiding for hours has nothing to do with that fight-or-flight response.


The adrenaline will have worn off long before, and if your first instinct at that point isn't to check on your loved one, maybe you don't really love them all that much.

Reddit user Hamdila sought some advice after her boyfriend ran away from a mugger, abandoning her to her fate in the process.

"Boyfriend (30m) and I (22m) were mugged. He sprinted off and left me alone with mugger. He claims he was running for help but I didn't hear from him for over an hour. Just wondering how bad I should blow up his sh*t?"


Tuesday night boyfriend and I were out, he parked in an alley because it's free. As we got to the car this tiny little homeless looking guy stepped out with a screwdriver and said something like "I'll I need is a hit, me $20 and no one gets hurt."

Boyfriend sprinted away. He didn't Even look behind him so I was stuck with the mugger and since I had my phone only he rubbed his hands all over me while holding the screwdriver to my throat. He wasn't getting off on it but it was still so traumatizing as he thought I was hiding money in my bra and underwear. I kept hoping that Aiden would be coming back with the cops but nothing. The homeless guy eventually realized I had nothing and just left down the other end of the alley,

I walked around the corner and less than a block away there was two police officers so I told them and all of the sudden downtown lit up and they were able to find the guy in less than 5 minutes.

I rode with the police to the station to ID the guy. Maybe an hour later Aiden calls and said "I have the police are you ok?" I exploded on him telling him that I'm at the f*cking police station and have been for an hour. He tried to tell me he was so scared he didn't know what to do and ran immediately to the police. I told him he was a liar because the two police I'd found had been there all night and he must have run past them. After some serious arguing he admitted that he'd gone to hide in a park about three blocks away. I was disgusted. And kept hiding when he heard all the sirens because he thought that meant I'd been stabbed or worse! What in the actual f*ck?

I told him to come pick me up and he said he couldn't because he doesn't like cops and is afraid they'd laugh at him. Well he was right because two very cool young cops gave me a ride home and they laughed and joked about him the entire way.

Yesterday he finally called around noon and I told him don't bother were broken up. He then spent the next 8 hours texting me a combination of calling me names, begging me to come back to him, and explaining what he'd done had been the smartest thing for both of us. He said had he not run, his natural rage would have taken over and he would have killed the guy. Suuuuuuurreeee....

My question is how scorched earth do I go in this breakup, let him have some dignity or do i blow up his sh*t?

Tl;dr: boyfriend left me during a mugging. Do I ruin his life in rhe breakup process?

Holy sh*t! Had no idea this would blow up! I'm in the lab all day so I'm just catching up at lunch. I'll try and respond I promise.

-Hamdila

"Natural Rage"? Seriously?!

He said had he not run, his natural rage would have taken over and he would have killed the guy.

hahahahahahahahahahhahahaahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-buenobunny

Oh Christ, I wish I could shave with that edge.

-Boit_Ironstag

rage intensifies

Must.... run.... for... their... own... good!

-Narradisal

"What's your power?"

"Uncontrollable Rage..."

"Like, you get super strong?"

"Nope, just really angry. Same strength"

-ASpellingAiror

More Concerned For Himself

It sounds like your bf didn't want to find the cops (based on how he hid and wouldn't come pick you up).

I wouldn't be surprised if your bf has a warrant out for his arrest.

-Hmms_

This makes the most sense. Honestly this situation is a lot more complicated than first thought.

Though I do think the relationship is done because she no longer feels safe and comfortable with him and that is that really

-Firstdatepokie

It ain't that complicated. I've had warrants for forgetting to make a monthly payment or missing a court date for a seatbelt ticket, little sh*t like that. If my girlfriend and I were mugged, my having a warrant is the last thing on my mind. You certainly don't leave a person who may be more vulnerable to physical harm than you on their own for over an hour because you might have to sit in jail waiting for them to give you a new court date. Yes, going to jail and paying fines sucks, but it doesn't suck enough to warrant endangering another person's life or well being in order to avoid it.

-fox_eyed_man

Drop Him, Immediately

just, don't waste anymore time on messaging him anymore.

it was a normal reaction to be scared - but hiding in a f*cking park and not even calling the police and then after the fact not showing up AND THEN resorting to calling you names.

dump that idiot and be done with it. hope you get over this traumatic experience, anger def helps, but don't waste anymore time on Aiden.

-Mesapholis

Not to mention wouldn't even pick her up from the police station. There were multiple points where he could have turned this around, but he's just a weasel all the way down. And at age 30? Man.

-UniquelyIndistinct

That's the awe inspiring thing to me. After ditching your girl to be mugged while you couldn't be bothered to enter any random business or happen across anybody with a cell phone you hide in a park 3 blocks later for an hour this piece of sh*t is still only thinking of himself. His primary concern is being made fun of for being who he is, and not the safety of his SO or comforting her after essentially tripping your friend while you both were running away from a bear. Everything about that guy seems like a waste of space.

-Aukos

He Ran Away Fast Enough, He May Not Be Able To Find It Again

Send one final "we're done, I'll leave your stuff at (x location), don't contact me anymore, I'm blocking your number" message.

Then pack his stuff and get it out of your space.

I cannot imagine the length of shower you had to take to get that yuck off of you. I'm sorry. Please find someone to talk to about the assault, some way to help with the emotional trauma of it.

-jsmoo68

Pack his stuff in trash bags.

-Draigdwi

And leave it in the alley where he left you.

(Just kidding OP, I know that would probably be a traumatic place for you to go back to so soon).

-catherUne

It's Super Effective!

Just ghost him... you know, like he did to you.

-therespectablejc

Critical hit

-SmexyPablo

BF fainted!

OP received 37 Experience points!

-Shantotto11

37 Exp is still too high for that guy.

-XLDOC

Just Move On With Your Life, Without Him

He said had he not run, his natural rage would have taken over and he would have killed the guy.

I ugly laughed at this. Bravo OP for taking decisive action and leaving this loser in the dust like he deserves. I don't think you'll get any real satisfaction from anything but blocking him and moving on with your life.

-blonde-throwaway

It's What You Do After That Counts

Fight or flight is a real reaction. Running away is understandable.

Him completely disappearing and hiding rather than actually going for help shows him to be a piece of sh*t.

Just dump and move on.

-sangetencre

Yeah, I try not to judge people in life-or-death situations, but come on. "I can't come pick you up because I don't like cops."

-betaraywil

You are so correct here. The initial response is going to be whatever it is. But then after a few minutes, adrenaline rush goes down, brain kicks in. He'd be running back. So something is not right here. I think he has warrants. The last thing he wanted to do is get the cops involved.

-newginger

He runs away, leaving you with a mugger. He hides in a park, not bothering to get help for you. Refuses to pick you up at the police station because he doesn't like cops.

Three strikes, and you're out, although the first one was more than enough. This guy sucks, and I'm sorry you wasted even a second on him.

-Purpledoves91

Found The Monty Python Fans

I'm so sorry this happened to you, but the part about him running away so he wouldn't kill the guy absolutely cracked me up. My husband said "wow, he was so brave he ran away and hid!"

Running away in a terrifying and surreal situation is understandable. Hiding and totally abandoning you makes him a garbage person and thank goodness you dumped him.

How bad should you blow up his sh*t? Personally, I would probably just dish with my besties and save the screenshots just in case he tried to turn anything back on you.

-jilltro

🎶Brave Sir Robin ran away. He bravely ran away away. 🎶

-brcguy

🎵When danger reared its ugly head brave Sir Robin bravely turned his tail and fled. Brave, brave, brave Sir Robin🎶

-Vadermort

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I'll stand outside
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Now starts the craft of the FatherI
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I know you've got a lot of strength left
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