Coitus Interruptus: Lovers Share The Dumbest Reason They Had To Stop Getting It On.

The music is soft. The lights are low. The heart skips a beat. The moment is perf- OW! WHO LEAVES A MOUSE TRAP IN THEIR BED?! These Redditors know the feeling of unfinished business

My wife had finished and was waiting for me to do the same. In the heat of the moment and close to finishing, she looks at me and says: "You can do it, buddy." That was the end of it. I was like a deflated balloon after that.


She left her music on "shuffle all", which worked fine until the Woody Woodpecker theme song came on.


I was having a two night stand with this lady. Right at the point of beginning our lovemaking, her parrot quietly climbed up on the bed, next to our heads, and screamed, "I just love lasagna!"


She grabbed my penis, tapped it 3 times, and spoke into it: "Is this thing on?" It was over before it began due to tears of laughter!


My wife and I went to NYC for our one year wedding anniversary. We were staying at the Millennium Hotel on Church Street right across from the Ground Zero WTC construction project.

We were on our way back to the hotel after a nice dinner and we saw some people carrying a big American flag shouting "USA! USA!" I didn't think much of it. But as we got closer to the hotel, we saw more and more people shouting and carrying flags.

We made it to our room and proceeded to get down to business. As things were getting hot and heavy, we heard a crowd outside cheering. I dunno why I stopped, but my wife and I just kinda looked at each other like, "Okay, what is going on?" 

I walked over to the window and saw hundreds of people surrounding the ground zero site. I flipped on the TV to see what was happening down there. (continued...)

Keep reading on the next page!

As it happened, that was the night Seal Team 6 killed Osama Bin Laden. Those hundreds of people turned into thousands of people and it was so loud that they were really all we could focus on.


Our delivery Indian food that was supposed to arrive in 45-60 minutes came in more like 12 minutes.


I've wanted to tell someone about this SO BADLY but I've always been too embarrassed. I've never been great at dirty talking and always feel overwhelmingly awkward whenever I try. But one night we were both a little drunk and I decided to be sexy by saying "punish me."

I guess I didn't say it very loudly so I (thought) I heard him ask back, "Punish you?" I said yes. And then he proceeds to awkwardly but lightly punch me in the boob. 

Startled, I asked him what he was doing. He thought I had said "punch me." We had to stop because I was cackling too much after that.


The bed collapsed and tipped us onto the floor. It happened again a few years later in a different bed.


My diabetic boyfriends blood sugar dropped. He just stopped and yelled, "JUICE!!!"


We had been going at it for a while so my legs were pretty tired. I told my boyfriend while we were switching positions that my legs made me feel like a noodle, and in his sexiest, most serious voice, he goes: "Yeah? Well you're a tight little noodle." I couldn't stop laughing long enough to continue.


She was on top when all the sudden she stops and looks down at me with a concerned look on her face. (continued...)

Keep reading on the next page!

I immediately asked what was wrong, very much concerned that I had hurt her or she had hurt herself. Instead she said, "I have to fart." So I told her to go for it. To my surprise, I felt the vibration. We couldn't continue because we were laughing too much.


My son called. Which, in and of itself, isn't really a problem. The problem is that the ringtone set for him, first, has a toilet flushing, then a weird voice says, "Mommy, Mommy! Mommy toilet!" and it ends with a cackling, slightly evil laugh.


My boyfriends pet cockatiel started to sing If Youre Happy and You Know It while watching us do our thing.


The guys in the other rooms on my dorm floor were clapping and chanting my name. Between the thin walls and the echoing vents, you could hold a conversation with people for at least a few rooms on either side of you without having to raise your voice - and this girl wasn't a quiet one. 

I was the first to bring a girl into the dorms that year, in an all male building. We only stopped for a minute to laugh and turn some loud music on.


I have a clapper light and we discovered that the sound of me slapping against her butt cheek was enough to turn the bedside lamp on.


We were fooling around on the couch, and I take one of the legs off her pyjama pants. We get going, so I pull the PJ pants off completely and throw them over my shoulder as we continue sexy time. 

About 15 seconds later, I notice weird shadows are moving on the wall. (continued...)

Keep reading on the next page!

I glance over my shoulder and notice that those PJs had landed on a candle and are now on fire.


A gigantic tree branch fell onto a car on our street. Admittedly, I kept going, but she wanted to see what was going on.


You know those overlapping fabric gaps in some men's underwear? Its like a fly without a zip. So in the heat of the moment, I'm kneeling over my mostly naked girlfriend and I decided it would be great to pop it out of the gap in my underwear.

Instead of her being impressed as I had planned in my mind, she nearly died laughing at my junk sticking out of the middle of these bright yellow briefs I had on. 


My daughter kept finding ways to open our bedroom door when she was supposed to be asleep, so we took the door knob off our door (it's an old house so it's easy to do). Somehow, my little 2-year-old daughter found another nob, fit it into the door, and opened it.


The police pulled up behind us, lights flashing. We were in high school and had a scant few places to do it, so we got it on during a rainstorm in my family's Jeep, parked in a large field with a house in the center. 

Apparently, the owners of the house thought we were robbing them or casing their house and called the cops. One of the funniest lines of our relationship came from that night: "It's the cops! Gimme my pants!" 

They found me in the passenger seat and her in the back - driver's seat empty. (continued...)

Keep reading on the next page!

They opened the door to check on her (which is actually against the law. Whatever, it's fine now.) She had to tell them three times that she was fine. 

They finally let us go when we insisted we had just pulled in to watch the storm and ended up having some harmless, consensual, somewhat misguided sex.

I proposed to her this Spring. She said yes.


She said "you're a wizard, Harry" between her moans for some reason and it made us laugh.


I was in her bed for the first time. The sides of her bed frame rose up and were on the same level as the bed. 

Fast-forward to our lovemaking. I'm half-standing, going to town, when I reposition my foot on the covers. Turns out that was actually the frame. I slip, fall off the bed, and slam my head on the wall.

I didn't get laid, but I did get a concussion.


I thought it would be funny to wear my prescription monocle to bed and she didn't notice until halfway through.


While doing it from behind, I accidentally rammed myself into her lower butt cheek. It hurt so much that I actually thought I bent it in half.


We were both drunk. In the middle of going at it, I said, "I love you, and I love scallops."

She was offended. She's never been a fan of shellfish though. If she were a normal person, I think she'd realize how awesome scallops are.


Keep reading on the next page!

My (now ex) girlfriend and I were going at it when our pet pot bellied pig put his nose pretty much in in my butt. I jumped from the shock; our pig (Truffles) got spooked and tried to run. He went under my legs and stepped on her inner thigh. Nobody was seriously hurt, but we were pretty surprised and amused.


My wife was on top. I lifted my hand to give her a playful spank. She shifted as I was mid-spank. This shift caused the spank to miss her and catch me full force in the testicles.


My ex-girlfriend and I always used to have a movie on while we had sex. So this one time, we were watching the first Harry Potter

A ways into the movie, we started fooling around and things heated up. Once we were going at it, I heard some moans that were not ours.

They were coming from the TV. I looked over at the screen, realize its the scene where the troll was wreaking havoc in the bathrooms. I started laughing so hard I could not continue, and had to wait until the troll was defeated.


We knocked over an open bottle of red wine and it started spilling on the white carpet.

He stops and starts scrubbing it:


He was 30 years old. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, we were at his dad's house.


My wife was pregnant, and the baby kicked me in the stomach while we were going at it. She thought it was hilarious. Me not so much.



Westend61/Getty Images

When you're a kid most adults will tell you one thing or another is "cool" and "fun." Odds are you're too young to form any kind of opinion on the matter one way or another. You're a kid, right? You don't know what you're eating for breakfast. However, when you get older and form that larger worldview, you realize that yeah, maybe that one time when you were a kid actually wasn't fun.

These are those stories.

Keep reading... Show less