Erica is the consummate cool-kid. She’s so cool that she’s been talked about in magazines, on blogs and on the radio after losing her left eye because of a piece of glitter. She is still actively mourning the passing of Prince and hopes to one day do an all-iguana remake of Graffiti Bridge since iguanas are plentiful near her home in South Florida. She has yet to find one that can really nail the “ahhhyayayeaheaheah” that Tevin Campbell does in Round and Round, and everyone knows the music is the important part of any Prince film. She’s a mother, singer, writer and (if the internet is to be believed - which we all know it is) a Nigerian socialite mid-ranking member of the Illuminati. She prides herself on being the most popular one-eyed rock star under 5 ft tall in pretty much any room she walks into.
Listen, kids are the literal best thing to happen to the world - as long as you aren't a fan of order or tidiness, literally or metaphorically speaking. As long as you embrace children as the beautiful agents of chaos that they are, you're good to go.
Spoiler Alert: Bathrooms. Women (and guests in general) really appreciate it when your bathroom is clean, stocked with toilet paper, and has things like a trash can, soap and a hand towel. There. I just earned you 100 points with your friends, family, and that cutie you've been eyeballing lately. You're welcome.
Two or three days ago I was hanging out with a friend I met through my future husband. He confessed some personal stuff to me before the rest of our friends showed up. At the end of the conversation I asked him why he opted to tell me as opposed to anyone else in our friend group. His response:
Artists get the reputation for being a little bit weird. You've seen it in movies and TV shows all the time. If you've seen Billy Madison there's a great example in that film. Remember the sequence where Ms. Lippy, the school art teacher, smears paste all over her face and is clearly enjoying it a little too much.
It goes without saying, there are going to be some disturbing ideas in this article, but it's not all doom and gloom. There are mentions of harm to children and/or animals and while there is nothing graphic and most of the article is humorous, we know those mentions can bother some of our readers and we respect that. If those sorts of things bother you, you may wish to brace before reading ahead.