Ignorance really is biased.

We always think we know what is right and what is wrong, what's the truth and what's a lie. The reality is that most of what we know is just an opinion or a partial truth that we've filled in with our own rational (or irrational) explanation. These opinions that we pass off as 'facts' are far from it and it takes a lot of courage to look at yourself and admit you were wrong or misinformed about something. Everyone likes to pretend they're on a different level, but the truth is you're not so different from the people you disagree with. Meditate on that.

Here are a some people admitting strong opinions they no longer have, and what it took to change those views. Redditor u/segafarm asks:

What is the strongest opinion you once held but no longer hold, and what make you change your mind?

Jade-Colored Glasses

I used to think that being cynical/negative was realistic and somehow smarter than being positive. I've since realized that a "be prepared for the worst but expect the best" is far better. We can't control the outcome of anything in life. Being negative makes you miserable rather than protected from bad things happening.

nanaimo

Cant' Have A Conversation With A Parrot

I used to be a conspiracy theorist. Believed that 9/11 was committed by the US government and that we never landed on the moon.

Once I started looking outside of the echo chamber I was in and started looking at alternate explanations, theories and listening to different viewpoints I soon realized how ridiculous those notions were.

Not-A-Real-Subreddit

A Big, Mysterious Universe

I used to be a strict, hardline atheist. I was the kind of bastard that would bring the subject up for no reason, just to argue. I don't know what the hell my problem was. Now I feel like, the universe is big, I don't know what all might be out there, I don't really care. I live as if there is no afterlife, because that makes sense to me. But if you don't, and you believe in one, that's perfectly fine, and maybe you're right. Who knows?

CDC_

Portrait Of An Artist As A Young Man

I used to believe anyone can be a successful artist if they just put the time and effort into it. There is no such thing as talent, only hard work.

What changed my mind: Art school. There were quite a few people that tried hard, but just weren't able to achieve professional level art.

berfica

You're Not Your Emotions

For the longest time, I thought my emotions were in a sense the most "real" part of me. I was always a very emotional person and I didn't make a real effort to control it as I thought it was a good thing, that I was just being honest with myself. Over time though, I started to become very depressed and the negative emotions just keep adding on and on. I thought "this is just how I am I guess". Unfortunately it started hurting other relationships I had, and everything changed when my girlfriend broke up with me. After a lot of reading I found that emotions are not who we are at all. They're just reactions and there's nothing that requires us to act on them or feed them. I'm learning to let it go through me instead of hanging on like I used to.

inca829

Don't Forget Big Willie Style

I used to think that hip hop was bland, repetitive, and all about clubbing and sh*t. Then one of my friends pointed me towards people like Kendrick Lamar, Eminem, Nas and Run The Jewels, who all have great songs and clever lyrics, and I realized that Hip Hop is pretty great.

6quid

The A**holes Will Always Find A Way

I used to think that the catholic church was responsible for all of the hateful people in it. I gave people the chance to challenge my opinion and someone explained it very nicely to me. Basically, the hateful people use the church as an excuse, if you remove the church they will gladly find another excuse.

TianaLeFong

High Times

Giphy

I used to tell myself that I would never stop smoking weed, and that I'd be happy if my kids grew up to be pot smokers... Now I have a kid, don't smoke, and realize what an idiot I was when all I did was smoke all day. I could probably be in a much better position if I hadn't smoked all through college.

But I mean, I still think pot's okay... Just in moderation.

edgar__allan__bro

The Road Less Traveled

"All taxation is theft, man! I made my money without any help from public institutions or the infrastructure they support, I should be able to keep every last dime of it!"

Naturally that was when I was 18, living at home rent free, and working at Pizza Hut as a delivery driver who relied upon public roads for pretty much every cent I made.

ExtremelyLongButtock

All Those PSA's Didn't Do Much

The whole D.A.R.E anti-drugs. Yes crack and heroin is bad, but they over dramatized what happens when you do smaller drugs. Weed isn't even a gateway drug, alcohol is more of a gateway drug. When I saw weed for the first time I thought it was tobacco (This was after all the D.A.R.E training too). Letting the government teach you your morales and philosophy is a thing that sheep do. Don't be a sheep.

PlantTreesForToday

Where Would We Be Without The Kindness Of Strangers

I used to think people on welfare and state assistance just weren't trying hard enough. I grew up spoiled and entitled and it seemed like any kind of charity was a stigma.

Then, my husband became chronically ill, and the economy took a shit. My family has been close to homelessness more than once, and have relied on state insurance and assistance off and on throughout the past few years. There are definitely people out there who abuse the system, but some just get stuck in a horrible cycle of poverty.

I also work in a school that has a high number low income and refugee families. It has really opened my eyes to the struggles that some people face.

BuffyandtheHellcats

He's Still There For You, The Best He Can Be

I could go through life and could seek meaningful advice from my Dad who has always been there for me.

Now he has been reduced to a feeble condition, I am starting to understand I'm out there on my own, and even what he's sure of is suspect given his mental and physical facilities have been rapidly deteriorating in his late seventies. I feel horrible that I have noticed this long before he did - or at least admitted as much.

june606

Clear Your Mind

This was before I received an ADHD diagnosis. When my doctor referred me to an ADHD specialist, first of all I refused to believe him and was kind of slighted that he even suggested that I could possibly have ADHD.

I had a very strong opinion that if I get a diagnosis that I would refuse to take prescribed amphetamines because they are "bad" and "addictive" and that they would ruin my life.

Then I actually tried the prescription and it was like magic.

Xingua92

Going Through The Whole Spectrum

Used to be fairly open with my views on immigration policy. Then I worked for a while down near Corpus Christie doing immigration work. I'd say one out if every hundred people that came through our office was going to somebody who actually wanted to work and try to make a living here. So many people simply wanted to exist enough to get welfare. Many were young men who we would later defend against exportation as a result of their criminal activity. I began to despise the work of defending these men and wished they would be deported.

Now, I'm dating a foreign girl and we are in the legal immigration process. She has advanced degrees and skills, so that makes things a little easier. But it does make me resent people who just bypass the system. We can't bypass the system because I imagine my participation in immigration fraud could get me disbarred.

RogerDeanVenture



I don't need this job anyway!

Holding down a job is supposed to be easy, isn't it? How often are we stuck working a job we hate just to survive? Even if it's a job we enjoy, it just takes one 'oops' moment to bring everything tumbling down. Many times it's a genuine mistake and we get another chance, but we almost never get a third. Some of these are close calls, while others are definite fails. Hey, If we are going to go, why not go out with a bang?

Redditor u/SirApatosaurus asks:

What was the "I'm fired aren't I?" moment you experienced or witnessed?

A Million Dollar Mistake

I worked at Roche as a security guard for a while. One day I was walking the floor of the manufacturing area and was asked to accompany a guy to get a roll of Palladium. Palladium was used to make the test strips that go into blood glucose meters, its an insanely expensive metal and comes in rolls that cost (at the time) around $100,000 each.

I walked with him to get it and while he was getting the roll off the shelf something happened and three rolls fell into another shelf and a lot of rolls cascaded to the floor. This ruined them. The total damage was almost a million dollars. He wanted to leave right then and avoid the firing but I convinced him he might not get fired since it was an accident. He was gone the next day.

Northsidebill1

I feel like whoever decided to stack millions of dollars worth of precious metal on a shelf as if they were rolls of paper towel should have been fired too.

Veritas3333

The Wendy's Approach To Tweets

An acquaintance once came close to getting fired when he forgot to switch his account and tweeted "Aussies are bloody cheats" from his company's account.

humayounak

Reminds me of when someone at Chrysler forgot to switch accounts and tweeted on the official account "I find it ironic that Detroit is known as the motor city yet no one here knows how to f*cking drive."

BPSteve

Taking the Wendy's approach to tweets.

BellaDonatello


Need A Lift?

I used to work at a lumber yard back in the late 80s. A guy that worked across the street kept parking in a spot on the property that was reserved for an elderly gentlemen who worked the gate and was with the company for 50 years. The guy was told dozens of times to not park there but kept doing it. One day the nephew of the old man lost it and took one of the heavy duty fork-lifts and picked the car up and moved (dumped actually) it across the street. We all sat there with our jaws open and the dude just parked the fork-lift, grabbed his lunch pail, shook hands with the foreman and walked out. No words were exchanged... he knew he was fired but didn't care.

StevenArviv

Please Don't Google 'Pixelated Bukkake'

My coworker was drunk and playing cards against humanity and, inspired, tried to tweet "pixelated bukkake" but accidentally did it from the company account (which I ran but he had access to). People were sending us screenshots of it for days.

rarebiird

SEPARATE ACCOUNTS SEPARATE DEVICES. I don't care how convenient it is having both on one device, it's too damn risky.

I_invented_bumholes

That Was Too Close.

My best friend and I worked together for years at a small sandwich shop. One day we were closing together and we were talking some mad shit about our manager. Just ripping into the guy. We said what we said, had our laugh as we finished ranting, and I mockingly turned around and said "oh, hey (manager's name)!!" As if he had been there listening to us the whole time.

From down the hall we hear "How'd you know I was here?! I just walked through the door!"

Cue us both sh!tting ourselves at how close we cut it.

No_ThisIs_Patrick

Your Totally Screwdriver-ed.

I used to work in a warehouse right after high school. Not knowing how everything worked and it being my first real full time job I just did what I was told and tried my best to impress the bosses. One day in the packaging room someone had thrown a screw driver out of anger and it stuck into the drywall. Out of hilarity my manager bet the guy 2 gas station taquitos he couldn't do it again. This became a daily thing around lunch time. Everyone would gather around and throw screw drivers at the wall and whoever's didn't stick had to buy lunch. Well this was right over a $8,000 heat shrink machine. And guess who accidentally hit the control panel breaking the machine... well one day one of the owners came back looking for something specific and noticed the bludgeoned wall. Looks at all of us Owner : "so you guys have been throwing screw drivers at the wall?"
Me: hangs head "yes" Owner: "that's cool" walks away Never got fired. He was extremely pissed about the machine I had broke though. He ended up just buying a better one.

ogcrappy

I think if anyone got fired in that story, it should be the manager who allowed it to happen.

grantrules

Caught Between A Lock And A Hard Place

Thought I lost a master key that worked at 6 locations (about 400 doors ) that would need re-keying ... 2 weeks into a new job ... someone took it off my desk to teach me a lesson about keeping it on my desk and not putting it in the key safe.

G0PACKGO

Lol, this happened to me during a school fundraiser when I was like 10.

My class was raising money for something or other, and we left the cash box unattended. The principal came by and nabbed it and we all freaked out. Later, when she told us she'd done it herself, she asked the class what we'd learned from the experience. I raised my hand and said "Don't leave money unattended because the principal might steal it?"

She was not amused.

clocksailor

Day-Don't-Care Service

When I was a kid, there was a van that used to come and pick us all up from school and take us to daycare. One day all the daycare kids loaded up onto the van and the driver told us that we weren't going to daycare. We were going to her house.

Apparently her 12 year old daughter had been told not to get on the school bus that day, but to get on the daycare van. She disobeyed and got on the school bus anyway. Her mom was pissed and wanted to meet the school bus at their house to catch her daughter.

So while she sat waiting for an hour for the bus to arrive with her daughter, we got to play on her trampoline in the backyard. While all of our parents were trying to figure out why our van hadn't ever gotten to the daycare.

She eventually loaded us up into the van with her daughter and drove us back to the daycare, where police were waiting and parents were crying. It was then that realization dawned on her face that perhaps that wasn't the best thing to do. She lost her job that day.

Terriere

Totally Forked Up

Happened at my last workplace. My colleague needed a specific washing machine for a customer. We had a pretty small warehouse for our stuff and it was around Christmas time, so you can imagine how much stuff we got in there on top of each other. Anyway, the washing machines were stacked up on top of each other and the one he needed was right at the edge of something that was similar to a pyramid. The gets the fork-lifter and he aims directly at it without thinking about moving the machines on top of it. As you can already imagine, the whole thing collapsed and he basically destroyed a bunch of washing machines, TV's and some other stuff. Our boss rushed in the warehouse and you could tell by the face of my colleague that it said: "I'm fired, right?"

un7alented

Definitely Not Having It Your Way

Working at McDonalds as a teenager in the 80s. Our store was running something like a double cheeseburger special for 99 cents. Guy who has issues being bossed around at work so likes to abuse teenagers pulls up to the drive through starts bitching about he can get a 99 cent double cheese burger anywhere, hell he could go to Burger King, so why don't I give him a big mac for 99 cents? Now our store does run a 99 cent Big Mac special once a year. It is not that time, and us order takers can't change the price. So I explain our special right now is 99 cent double cheeseburgers, and I have no option to change the price. I do this as politely as my teenage self can, which I admit could be part of the problem.

This doesn't sit well for our working class hero, who doesn't like being told by a know-nothing, lazy teenager that he can't have it like he wants it. Again with the "I could go to Burger King" bitching. He wastes about 5 minutes of my time, letting the line backup in the drive thru. Which, of course, is his intent. When if finally dawns on him that I'm not going to ring him up for 99 cent Big Macs he get hopping mad, but eventually places an order.

He comes to the window, pays. As I hand him back his change, he, still hopping mad, bitching up a storm, and now profane, mentions again he "could have gone to fucking Burger King for 99 cent double cheeseburgers."

At this moment, I know I'm fired. Because I know what I want to say, and f*ck it I'm saying it. I smile as annoying as only teenagers can, look him straight in the eye, and say, "Well then, go to f*cking Burger King and stop wasting everyone's time." Then I slam the window shut and start taking the next order. He bellows like a wounded walrus, bangs on the window, shouting every profanity he can think of. I'm just smiling and taking the orders from the backup, not a care in the world. I'm a teenager. I can get a load of minimum wage paying fast food jobs like this. In fact, I'm already thinking of when I should go to the McDonald's across town to apply. Hell, they're nowhere near as busy as this location, and I have a friend trying to get me to quit and come there anyway. Knowing these are my last moments makes ignoring the furious asshole easy. Eventually, he moves to the 2nd window to get his food. He shouts for a manager because no "GODDAMNED LAZY TEENAGER IS GOING TO DISRESPECT HIM!" He bellows profanely at our manager for a few minutes before snatching his food and burning out the wheels to get out of there.

My manager walks over to me, here it comes, and looks at me with innocent eyes and says as sweetly as possible, "did you tell that nice customer to 'go to Burger King'?"

Me, proudly, "Yes I did."

Manager, with that same sweet voice, "Good boy." She then walks away as if the whole thing never happened.

Banzai51

From Hissy Fit To Generous Tip

When I graduated high school I got a job as a bellhop at a Marriott. The front desk would transfer all request for direction calls to our phone. First night there by myself and my phone rings, dude says he must be close because he's been driving on Route 78 for 2 hours.

I got confused where he was and turned him around...he drove back the wrong way for an hour before he realized I messed up.

He came in furious.

Storming over to the bellstand where I was standing.....he says Hi Paul, I'm looking for a moron ..that just gave me the most half-assed directions...he's incompetent and I need something done about this NOW!

Stunned silence...Paul? Why is he calling me Paul?

HOLY SH*T!......PAUL!!!!I totally forgot that because I was so new I had to borrow another bell mans name tag.

Sir, we'll handle this immediately. I took out a dry cleaning ticket and wrote myself up a "disciplinary form" and assured the person that Pantarus is on probation and would be fired immediately.

He was happy...tipped me 20 bucks and went on his merry way :)

Pantarus

Here's a little lesson on trickery

bullet494

You fired yourself and made 20$ profit. You won.

styli1000

Honesty Is The Best Policy

I started my evening warehouse job right before thanksgiving. I needed this job too-it was a great blessing to get it. I was newly married (1 yr) and had a baby girl, we made hardly anything and this job was literally an answer to prayer.

After a few weeks I finally received my forklift certification. I was trying to turn in a tight spot and accidentally broke of the rear light housing off the forklift. Not wanting to hide it, I immediately told my coworkers and they said don't sweat it. Just tell the supervisor, you'll probably get your hand slapped but that's easy to replace. So I went to my supervisor to tell him.

He looked at me with a straight face and said, "you're fired." I just wanted to make sure he wasn't kidding (I had a sinking suspicion that he wasn't), so I asked if he was serious. He then said, "yes, a safety violation in your probation period." I started to walk away to the locker room-devastated. He called me back and said, "you're not fired, thanks for telling me."

That one hurt. But- I have been with the company now 8 years and worked my way into a corporate role!

RefBap08

Wrong Sext

One of the helpdesk team that worked for me was sending sexy texts to his wife Andrea, when he sent a very graphic, descriptive text explaining exactly what he was going to do to her when he got home. Unfortunately, he sent it to Andrew, one of our biggest clients - Andrew's name was next to Andrea's in this guy's contacts on his phone. He came rushing in to my office the second he'd sent it and I had to ring Andrew to limit the damage. Andrew was fine about it, he said he thought my guy seemed 'really friendly'!

EDIT: This happened in 2000ish when the Nokia 3310 was around. No smartphones or anything like that.

veedweeb

Andrew sounds like a fun guy.

IamBmeTammy

Thanks, Uncle Sam

My first day of my first job I rolled a Silverado off a cliff that had under a thousand miles on the odo. I figured I would just go turn in all my stuff and start looking for a new job but my boss was incredibly worried that I was okay, told me not to even worry about the truck and personally took me to the ER to get checked out even though I insisted I was perfectly fine. It was a government contract and Uncle Sam picked up the bill for everything and I worked there for another 16 months.

worksafemonkey

He Hit Me First!

Two stories...

My first job was with Honey Baked Ham. For giggles, I thought it'd be funny to answer the phone and say, "Thank you for calling HBH where our meat is always tender and moist!" There was a brief moment of silence and then I heard my manager on the other end say, "Excuse me?!"

Worked at a Day care in college. Had twin boys in my class that were very rambunctious. We had a football that I would throw to the kids a lot (especially the boys) because they seemed to really enjoy it. This was the chain of events on my last day.

Twin one steps really close to me and holds his arm back like he's going to chunk the ball at me point blank. I said, "Don't throw that at me." so he of course does and runs off. I picked the ball up and threw it at him and as the ball was in mid air he turns around and the ball hits him right between the legs. He literally drops to his knees and screams. The teacher in the room next to me knew it was an accident and takes him inside to get him some water and butter him up. Twin two approaches, "YOU HIT MY BROTHER" he goes to throw the ball at me as hard as he can and I put my foot up to kick it and I end up kicking him right in the nuts... He drops to the ground and screams. At this very moment the after school director walks out with the previous Twin and now sees the second one on the ground holding his crotch. She says, "OMG you hit another one?!" and all i could think to say was, "He hit me first!" I knew right then I was done.

DevilMutt

That has got to hurt!

Let's be honest, we all make bad choices, but it's often our 'friends' who are the ones who've persuaded us to take that dare or do that risky thing we wouldn't have done otherwise. Even the most intelligent people can act the fool, and the consequences often range from humiliating to just painful. It's all in good fun most of the time, but some of these are just plain evil.

Redditor u/3lli3 Ask:

What is the dumbest thing you've ever convinced someone to do?

Urine A Lot Of Trouble

Convinced my friend to shock the head of his penis with a Barbecue igniter. He instantly started peeing. Luckily we were in traffic in the back of his brothers mini-van. That was a fun ride home.

frankrizzo24

He Asked And She Delivered

This is very specific so I hope he doesn't see this... but I convinced a man that delivered pizzas who wouldn't leave me alone to bring me a free pizza in exchange for "nudes" that he would not stop harassing me for. I searched "naked girl" on google and put a sticker over the face. He told me I looked amazing, dropped a pizza at my front door and I told him I was too embarrassed to see him after sending him such naughty photos. Army crawled to the front door and snatched my pizza up. Tasted good.

Ocula

Don't Let Door Hit You On The Way In

I once told a buddy of mine that automatic doors will always open no matter how fast you run at them. That's all it took.

PerpetualCamel

I knew a buddy like that, he ended up dislocating his arm and breaking his nose. He threw a boiling mushroom at me and we called it even.

LilyKinoshita

Putting His Foot In His Mouth

I once had a friend that I met on a Minecraft server. We spoke almost every single day on skype with a few other people we met on the server. This kid was a little sh*t, I'm not talking about the kind of kid that pokes fun at others for his own amusement. No, this kid is one of the biggest *ssholes I have ever had the displeasure of conversing with to this day. One day I was Video Skyping this boy and dared him to eat a sock. To my amusement he did just that! He stripped his sock from his foot and began to stuff his mouth with his sweaty foot cover. The next thing I knew I was watching this kid vomit out the sock I just watched him consume, laugh nonchalantly, and continue with our Minecraft deeds. Robert, if you're reading this, what the f*ck was going on in your head that day?

reillyj99

His Lecture Was A Huge Hit

We had this really old professor come to teach us at school. Technology hated him, would freeze or shut down. He was using the classroom laptop when it froze on him and he starts fiddling and cursing while the class starts laughing. So I called out to him to hit it.

He smashed that thing to bits.

Silvfer

Wizards and technology don't mix.

lydsbane

Here, Hold My Beer...

Convinced a dumb*ss if you put a dime in a beer bottle and shake it around for five minutes it creates a bunch of micro-fractures and makes the bottle super easy to break over your head.

Guy did it for fifteen minutes and attempted to smash the bottles on his forehead. Went to the hospital and got nine stitches.

NothingBurgerNoCals

You're Definitely Going To Hell For This

Oh man, I hope he's not on here, but here goes. Years ago, I worked with this really weird nerdy guy. One day he mentioned that Jaina Solo (Han and Leia's daughter in the Star Wars books who's a Jedi or whatever) was his dream girl. One of my other co-workers and I were laughing about this later and co-worker suggested we get him to write an essay about it. So I was talking with the weirdo and was pretending like I was really curious about why he likes Jaina Solo and asked if he could write an essay about it, to which he (perhaps surprisingly) agreed. Every day after that, I would ask him, "Hey 'weirdo', did you write the essay?". Well, a few days later, lo and behold, he comes in with an essay. And by essay, I mean multiple pages with pictures and quotes from the books. It was amazing. I still have it.

chester_van_d

I'm going to hell for this, but OK:

http://imgur.com/gallery/fhLvTPE

In case you're wondering, guy got fired a little while later. Our supervisor never told us why, but I suspect it was either because he wouldn't stop sexually harassing our co-worker despite being told to stop, or because he wasn't doing the majority of his work. Probably a little of both a. and b.

chester_van_d

What A Prick

To "bleed his knife", I have to point out we stopped him before he did it but he was fully prepared to do it. Basically this FNG in our kitchen got a new knife and me and a co-worker told him it's tradition to cut yourself a little so the knife tastes your blood and it won't cut you again accidentally. Yes we are assholes and looking back I feel bad about it.

tamano42

This Razed A Lot Of Eyebrows

My friend passed out at a party and some guy wanted to shave her eyebrows off as a prank. I told him "only if you shave yours first" AND HE DID.

I immediately woke her up and we all just laughed at him.

galwaygirl3

I can imagine the conversation... "Dude, dude. Bro. You can't just shave her eyebrows. She'll suspect you first! You gotta shave YOUR eyebrows first! When she wakes up, she'll never suspect the guy with no eyebrows!"

Vachenzo

It Burns!

A friend in high school thought that since he ate a lot of spicy foods that pepper spray wouldn't effect him. We convinced him to let us test this theory with some police-grade pepper spray acquired from a sheriff uncle of another friend.

This was February with snow on the ground. I gave him a spray across both eyes and, as he screamed, got him with another shot in the mouth. He ended up taking off his coat and shirt and spraying himself in the face with the garden hose.

There he was, laying in the snow, shirtless, shaking like a leaf with all manner of goo pouring out of his face.

nicefella7969

A Race To The Bottom

I had the doors off my jeep and these high school kids in a beat up Civic pull up next to me at a red light blasting sh*tty SoundCloud rap music and dancing. I literally just glanced at them and one kid said, "What are you looking at?" I laughed and said, "I bet this old Jeep could embarrass your Civic in a race to the next light." (Ultimate bluff, my Jeep is slow as hell) When the light turned green they took off and I smiled as the cop they didn't notice behind them did his job as intended. Felt good, very good.

ObamasRetirementPlan

Par For The Coarse

Attempt to remove freckles with sandpaper.

Reticent09

Man, I hate it when I get sand in my cheeks.

An_Apache_Helicopter

It really does get everywhere doesn't it?

Comeoffit321

Some Mistakes Can't Be Erased, Oh Wait...

When I was in high school we all had laptops with little cold-restart buttons on the back of the machines. We told all the non-computer people it was an automatic save button. We were getting people with that for about a fortnight until the teachers started yelling at us for making people lose their work.

klingers

Gullible Is Written On The Ceiling 

Told them if they look into the neck of a beer bottle and to the bottom when holding it up to the light that there is a code to tell them if they one a free one. All they got was beer swill in the face or eye

Toke A Moment

Smoke anything we put in a pipe.

He smoked hair.

3lli3

Once got a friend to smoke dried dog sh*t.

whatsamajig

That is... really something.

3lli3

It's Labrador man...

Terriblarious

Check please!

With the plethora of dating apps these days, you'd think it would be easier to find the perfect someone, or just anyone who isn't a complete basket-case. How many times have you met the man or woman of you dreams until they blindsided you with something so insane that it had you sprinting for the door? It's enough to make you want to stay single and stay clear of the chaos and confusion of the dating world.

u/Hammer-905 asks Reddit:

What's the biggest, "Whoa, didn't see that coming" dating moment that you've had?

Dodged A Bullet With That One

I was having an amazing time talking to a guy I'd just met on tinder. He was sweet, funny, and lived about 5 minutes from me. He asked me out on a date, and I was ecstatic. The day comes, and he offers to come pick me up. I politely decline, and I decided to be honest with him and say I wasn't totally comfortable being picked up by someone I hadn't met quite yet, and that I'd rather meet him there myself. He seemed nice enough to take it well, I even told him it was based on a prior bad experience.

He f*cking freaked

I have never been called more names/things in my entire life. Distrusting, rude, nasty, ungrateful, the list went on. I didn't even fight him. Dude literally tried to evaluate my entire psyche, ranting and "explaining" what was wrong with me for not allowing him to pick me up, then blocked me. I've never seen someone take such a hard left turn into crazy town in my life.

Janzey

Drunk In The Trunk

Went to a party with a guy. When I got there, he basically ignored me and flirted with some other chick most of the night. Later at night, they followed me to my car when I was getting something out of my trunk for the party. Guy shoves and locks me in my own goddam car trunk once I opened it. Can't find the latch, super drunk and terrified. He's laughing hysterically outside the car, trying to use it as flirting fodder with the now horrified other girl. She's not a psychopath like him and helped me call someone with spare keys... I got out eventually, super embarrassing though.

CrankyCookies

Holy Molars 

I dated a 22 year old who took her teeth out to eat an ice cream. Totally didn't see that coming and tried to make her feel comfortable.

I didn't keep seeing her for other reasons, but yes, I experienced the missing teeth that night.

saburling

How was it?

Closer67

I bet it was gum-derful.

phillyhandroll

Why You So Obsessed With Me

In college, my roommate and I moved a mutual friend into our place because his roommate had some mental health issues and was stalking him, and doing some really messed up stuff (like threatening to hurt himself unless friend hung out with him). I never met nor saw the roommate.

About a month later, I get asked out by this random guy on a dating website and it seemed fine, so we go out for pizza. As the date unfurls, it slowly becomes more and more awkward as the guy asks about my living situation, friends...roommates. The whole thing just feels awkward. We say our goodbyes and I go home, to tell my roommate about it...and then the lightbulb goes off - it was the stalker guy, trying to get info about him. There's actually a fair bit more to this story, but that's the basic scenario.

Edit: So, I had a couple of requests for additional details. To clarify, all of the characters in this story are guys (I'm gay, stalker is also, roommate/stalkee are straight). I'll parse them in as they happened:

-Probably part of the reason stalker got so infatuated with stalkee is that he was the first person stalker came out of the closet to him and he reacted well (as stalker came from a very Catholic family). This was all about 15 years ago and attitudes towards LGBT people still weren't great, particularly in the red state in which we all lived.

-The night we moved him in to our house (under cover of darkness while stalker was away), the stalker had called him and told us he was attempting to commit suicide as a result...very slowly, by drinking salt water until he died of dehydration. Prior to that, stalker had spent a few hours driving around town trying to find stalkee's car. We were able to get some professional help for him that night.

-I have no idea how the guy found me, but sexuality probably plays a role - I'm a gay guy in a fairly small town and stalker knew that he had gay friends, so going through the online dating profiles/Facebook/Myspace at the time was probably not too hard for him.

-Stalker ended up harassing my friend a few more times over the years, showing up at his work to drop off important personal effects he had left behind during the move (e.g., a clothes hanger).

-Stalker showed up in my life a few times since then, too. A couple of years later, I was working for the college and he was running for a minor local political office. His political statement/declaration had him listed as a Ph.d. student in the department in which I worked (a fairly well-known program nationally)..except, not only was he not a Ph.d. student with us, he (a) never completed his bachelor's degree and (b) was not enrolled as a student for several years. So you can imagine my surprise when one of our staff was like, "Who the hell is Stalker and why does he say he's in our program?" I do think this was just a coincidence, though.

apathyontheeast

Is Age Just A Number?

Met a guy while walking to work. It was dark out but not in a creepy way. We run into each other a few times and I ask him out. We go for dinner and he tells me about his work history, says he did something in construction for 15 years. I am 20 when this happened. Turned out we were both really bad at guessing age and he was in his forties and thought I was was in my late 20s. Luckily he could tell I was weirded out by it and didn't contact me after.

mountainsprouts

He sounds like a good guy. An age gap like that is just too large (in my opinion), and it is good of him that he respects you enough to leave you alone. Hopefully you can still greet him when you come across him during your walks, as the event is not something to be ashamed of for either parties.

KiwiRemote

Too Weird Too Bear

Went to a girl's house to meet her parents and they sit a teddy bear at the table, gave it food and drink.

She was the youngest in the house at 23 and the bear was such a recognized member of the family it had a Facebook page.

This will probably be buried but the weirdest part is when they would do voices for the bear and make me speak with it.

Edit: Family also hated me as they were super religious and i was born out of wedlock.

BoyGirlSmoke

Only In Brooklyn...

Was casually dating a girl for 3 months or so, she suggests we watch some porn together - ok cool. So she puts a dvd on (this is 2008) and the second scene was HER. Totally unexpected. Was cool but I found it sort of an odd way to tell someone that.

She ended up beating me with a clothing rack pole while i was on mushrooms a few months later after going thru my cell phone and seeing other girls, even tho we weren't exclusive. Man, Brooklyn was a fun place.

villan22

It Wasn't A Joke

I took a girl out on our first date. I guess she was trying to impress me because she rattled off the list of guys whose virginity she's taken. Spoken in a way suggestive that, if I played my cards right, something good may happen to me. I was not interested nor impressed.

Braydeennnn

Similar thing happened to me too. a girl I just met started telling me about taking virginity from a guy and laughed about how can someone be a virgin at that age (22). I was 23 at the time and yeah, still a virgin due to messed up past that made and still makes me feel unsafe in sexual situations. Then she told me that her last date left when she left to the bathroom and she wanted to make sure that I will still be here when she comes back from the toilet. I told her that I won't, she took it as a joke. It wasn't a joke.

messe93

COPS Marathon And Chill

Might seem minor or silly but the first time my girlfriend didn't want to go bar hopping on a Friday she asked me if I was cool just coming over, drinking Miller Lite, and watching a Cops marathon. She specifically said it was a tased and confused special.

I never thought I'd hear a girl say that. We've been married for two years now.

CarlOnMyButt

Before Netflix and Chill, it was COPS marathon and Chill.

DiscordianStooge

What Are The Chances?

On my first date with my current fiance, he told me that he has two older sisters that are both married to guys named Cody. guess what my name is?

GarshCT

Emma?

Monicabrewinskie

Yes.

GarshCT

Damn I'm good

Monicabrewinskie

It's Cody. So three siblings (2 girls and 1 boy) are all going to be married to men named Cody.

GarshCT

Why Can't I Date Anyone Normal?

So many great ones! I'll do this one since it has a few of those moments in them. I went out with this woman. She's really cool. Great first date, a lot in common, great connection. I reach out for a second date. I hear nothing from her.

Three months go by, I get a text from her out of the blue. She had to have a sudden surgery, so she didn't reach back because of that. We go out, we're still great. Third date, I'm stoked. I figure I'll impress her with one of these Academy films that's getting a lot of praise. Something called The Revenant. Whoops. Figured out what that was in the theater. Did not expect it to be so violent and graphic. And she was super squeamish about watching that stuff.

So we recover at a restaurant and we talk a little. At one point, we're making small talk and talking about our flaws. I say sometimes I feel like I can be a little selfish. I watched her starry eyes go cold and dead to me as I shattered all of her illusions of me. Her responses get quick and she gets quiet. I know exactly what's up. She lost interest instantly.

She gives me a ride back to my car and she just starts trying to figure out what's wrong with her for dating people like me. "Is it because you're an actor?" Then she sinks her head into her hands and says loudly for the quiet person she was, "why can't I date anyone normal!" Well, didn't see that coming. It was hilarious, but I didn't feel like it would be best to laugh there. So I politely ended the date and suggested that maybe we weren't as compatible as we thought. She reached out the next day to apologize and see if I wanted to give it another try. I replied, "Yeah, sure." I never heard back from her, as I now see that the way I phrased that has two interpretations.

ConvenienceStoreDiet

So Much For Monogamy... 

Coworker had a huge crush on me. Got my MSN messenger account (this was years ago) from another coworker. He started talking to me back and forth for maybe 2 weeks, and then asked me out on a date. That workplace actually encouraged in-office dating, it was in China so whatever. We went on four dates, each of them great, and then he confessed...he already had a girlfriend.

iworkwithtableau

You know the saying: it's easier to get a job when you already have a job.

nimble__nav

The Line Between Kink And Kidnapping

Met a girl online. We chatted a lot and she seemed like perfect girlfriend material. We had arranged to meet up a few times, but due to her/my work we always had to cancel. After a few weeks of chatting on a daily basis, she suddenly, out of nowhere, tells me how she fantasizes about locking me in her basement. Not kinky lock me in the basement...rather tie me to a chair and keep me there as her prisoner indefinitely, so she can do to me what she wants when she wants. She would also be in charge of feeding me and cleaning up after me. She spared no details about her plan. I honestly dont think she was joking and i cut contact with her shortly after that conversation.

hmfiddlesworth

You turned down free housing and food?

lucidanecdote

When you put it that...maybe i should give her a call

hmfiddlesworth

A Switch Flipped

Started dating a girl and she seemed nice but I wasn't sure she was into me. A few months in and she starts talking about future plans and marriage. I was happy as I was on board with that but it just seemed like some switch had been flipped. I had passed whatever tests needed to be done. I had made it. Skip to now, We're engaged and all is good. It was a strange transition though from "Hey I like this girl but I wonder how she feels?" To "Whoah! She's totally on board!" In a day or so.

PapaOoMaoMao

Be careful friend. i just got out of a situation where it was "I love you see you tomorrow" to "We cant be together anymore" in a day or so.

Relentless666


Forget A Priest, This Guy Is A Saint

TL;DR date basically gets alcohol poisoning and turns into the exorcist

I was dating this girl for a few weeks, we had a lot in common and she was a biology major. She asked me one night if I wanted to go to a party with her, I agreed of course. We get there and she starts drinking alcohol like its water. Being cautious, I made sure to only have one beer per hour. I lost her for awhile and when I started looking for her, I found her in a room making out hardcore with this guy.

I was shocked at first, I asked if she was okay and she was drunk beyond comprehension. The dude told me to piss off, so I shouted "This asshole is trying to assault my girlfriend!" Which turned a bunch of heads and people started yelling at the guy to get off of her.

In my mind I was like "leave her, she isn't interested in you." but she was so drunk she was passing out in the hallway. So I fireman carried her out of there and drove her back to my house. Her cousins were with her too and I had to drop them off. The whole time they were just laughing and taking pictures of her while she was blacked out. I felt so bad.

My roommates helped me carry her to my room and I started sitting her up and making her drink water. She started kissing me and saying thank you, then she shouted "I'm coming!" and pissed ALL over my bed.

I stripped her of her soiled clothes, carried her to the bathroom, and made her take a bath. It made her nauseous (which is what I intended) and I helped her puke into a trash can. Once she was (as clean as I could get her I guess?) out of the tub, I removed all the bedding and laid her down. I told her I'd be right back I have to wash this. When I came back she some how managed to fall from the bed to the floor, puked all over the bed, the floor, and underneath my bed?

It was worse than having a puppy. I cleaned up more bodily fluids and begged the universe to please please hope she didn't start sh!tting everywhere. I then carried her again to the futon out in the living room where I finished the night by sitting and watching her to make sure she didn't choke on her puke in her sleep or hurt herself further.

We dated for almost a year, this isn't even the worst part of it.

Bjorna_Gloom

When you know your kids backwards and forwards, this is the best tool in your arsenal.

Getting our kids to listen to us is not always the easiest of tasks. They're willful and stubborn, but we've got a mighty weapon they are rarely prepared for: reverse psychology. Getting them to convince themselves to want to do something against their own initial intentions takes some work and a whole lot of creativity, but a little sneaky manipulation goes a long way. Here are some clever parents' tricks that are definitely worth taking notes on.

Redditor u/LeanderD Asks:

Parents of reddit, what's your best example of reversed psychology on your kids that actually worked?

He Floated His Idea Through A Back Channel

Wanted to name my boat. Anything I would think of was dismissed as stupid by my 13 year old son. After deciding on a name, I confided to a male friend my son liked. Made my friend suggest the name as though it was his idea. My son thought the name was perfect. Done.

calypsodweller

We Always Want What We Can't Have

One of my best friends through childhood used to be punished with no salad if she misbehaved. She cherishes salad now and would always try to eat as much as possible during school lunch. Coincidentally, her now husband used to be punished with no books, it had the same effect. I think it's hilarious that they'd be hitting the salad bar and library like some black market their narc parents couldn't reach hahaha.

cookiearthquake

A Deceit That's A Cut Above The Rest

Don't know if this counts, but, at my high school (private, boys only) in the 1960's, they made a big deal about how long your hair was, and would occasionally order a boy to go home and "get a haircut".

I thought it was stupid, until years later, a master confided to me at a reunion that the policy was deliberate. The school figured we'd spend so much energy rebelling about hair length, that we would ignore other aspects of teenage rebellion. (Not?) Surprisingly, they were mostly right.

FrankDrakman

Damn! That's smart. Wow.

fangxx456

Oh they don't like long hair?

I'll show them. I'll grow my hair out as lon- what?! No I don't want to go "party"? I gotta try out this horse shampoo.

DankeyKang11

The Forbidden Book

Hi I was a victim,

There was a forbidden book that I was not allow to read on the shelf. My parents said I could only read it if I behave myself.

It was summer holidays and I was playing games all day (after 6 hrs of summer homework). One day I was home alone and had the opportunity to grabbed it. I read like half of it in one go. It was 5000 years of Chinese history.

Safe to say I was bamboozled.

oddstodd

Flowers Of The Queen

My parents always told me my broccoli were the flowers of the queen and that I really shouldn't eat them, or else the queen would get very upset! I, of course, ate the whole broccoli in a few seconds.

Subwoofy

I'm telling the queen and she's gonna be pissed

draculacletus

Sleeping Beauty

I taught my kids when they were toddlers that no amount of yelling, shaking or hitting can wake a sleeping adult. The only thing that works is a gentle hug and/or a nice kiss on the cheek.

Edit: Probably needed some more details for the reverse psychology aspect to be clear. It went something like this - Step one, tell the kids I'm going to sleep and nothing they do will wake me (head buried face down is the safest position). Step two, after the initial onslaught dies down pretend to awaken on your own. Tell them you got a bit of nap left in you and nothing can wake you, especially not hugs and kisses.

DrMethusael

Holy sh*t...if my daughter woke me up like this I would buy her a pony.

All-Seeing_Elon

I am saving this comment because this will save lives if I ever have kids, stg.

smerter

A Walk In Someone Else's Shoes.

Split custody with my ex. When my son was around 10, he visited two weekends a month. I was waiting tables and didn't have a huge amount to spend, but he was so needy from divorce (and I'm not blaming him, it was ugly), he begged constantly for MORE when he was with me. Whatever more was, it didn't matter... he'd be eating ice cream cone and begging for teriyaki.

I finally realized that he just felt empty, and getting MORE whatever from me wasn't filling him up. His next visit I handed him $100 in cash and told him it was our food/fun budget for 3 days and two nights, and he was in charge of it. I bought him his own wallet to carry. We figured out how many times we were going to eat and what we were going to do, and he paid. He got to keep whatever money he had left...thought he was rich...then realized just how much everything cost. Well. Shoe on other foot then. If we had no money for food, we ate leftovers - and I didn't contribute more to pot. After a few weekends of running short or not getting something he actually wanted because he was foolish with funds, he started to really think about how to spend that money. He budgeted and kept to his budget. And a few times he actually went home with a little cash for his private stash.

Many years later, he thanked me for this. It really changed the way he thought about money and love.

Augumenti

This Is Worth Giving A Shot

Took my 3 year old son to one of those doctor's visits where he was going to get a shot. He was worried about the shot on the whole drive over, almost to the point of tears. We get to the doctor's office and a nurse subtly lets me know that my son is not just scheduled for 1 shot, but 5 of them in the same visit.

I turn to my son with an exaggerated smile and tell him, "Good news! They figured out how to take that one big shot you were going to get and instead break it up into these 5 little tiny shots so it won't hurt nearly as much!"

You could see the relief wash over his face. He stopped squirming and relaxed completely. He took the first shot and even smiled and said "It's true! The small ones don't hurt!"

We actually made it through the third shot before the effect wore off and reality kicked in. Still... I counted it as a victory.

blackbird77

Put This To The Taste

My mom would tell me she only lets me eat soup after candy and she'd only buy me candy that i didn't like. After a few times, i stopped trying and begged her to let me eat soup first. She gave me a smirk and told me go ahead. This doesn't sound as evil as it was. But trust me i suffered.

turkeypr0

So what was the candy?

Poster_Main

Mint chocolate, raisins, stuff like that. I still hate them to this day. Who the f--- thought while eating chocolate "hmm id like some tooth paste with this."

turkeypr0

This is Truckin' Awesome

Mum had sworn a bit around the house.

When 4, while out at the supermarket, I said F word really loudly.

Very quickly and intently, she asked if I had just said "Truck" and said that was a bad word and not to ever say Truck like that again.

I thought that was the bad word so used that when being naughty.

GodOfTheThunder

The "Silly Mom" Routine

The "Silly Mom" routine.

My kid, and a few other kids I've known, would balk at getting ready to go. I'd grab their clothes and say, "Well, if you won't put on your clothes, I guess I'll put on your clothes. Cute shirt, by the way! Does it go on my foot?"

NO!

"Does it go on my head?"

NO! IT GOES ON ME!

"Oh, that's right, thanks! So, it must go on your legs, right?"

NO!

"I just can't figure this out! Where does this adorable shirt go?"

[kid grabs shirt and puts it on] ON MY TUMMY! SILLY MOM!

"Oh, thank you so much! Now what about these pants? Shirts go on tummies, so...the pants go on the tummy, too, right?"

NO!

[continue until kids have dressed themselves]

I would also do things like hand the kid my keys and say, "Alright, you're driving, I'll sit in the booster seat in back," attempt to feed the kid by putting a spoon up to his ear or his belly button, and attempt to put away his toys in the refrigerator.

insertcaffeine

Some Foot For Thought.

My mum would always yell at us "if you don't do X, you have to go to bed without socks!"

I never wore socks anyway, and I'm ashamed to admit that this worked.

Splittsky

That would work really well on my son, or make him cry for a really long time... He's 3 and over the last few weeks has decided that he is fully unable to sleep without socks on.

PJQueen

Toddlers man. Completely unpredictable.

SheaRVA

I'm Greens With Envy

My mum had a friend that would put vegetables on her own plate and not the kids.

When the kids asked she would be reluctant to share, "that's grown up food. But I suppose I can let you have a little."

Her kids grew up loving vegetables.

I sat at the dinner table for 3 hours staring at the yucky cauliflower I refused to eat.

laik72

This reminds me of an instance when my child convinced my wife and myself to change our plans for dinner. We were in a grocery store to pick up something quick and easy to eat that we wouldn't have to prepare. Our daughter, wanted none of that, she demanded that she wanted a salad from the salad bar. We started to argue back, but then realized: "Our child demands that we feed her vegetables for dinner instead of a microwaved meal, why are we saying 'No?'"

We had salad for dinner that night.

Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

The Power Of Choice

I don't so much know if you would call it reverse psychology, but I didn't realize it until my dad told me this.

When there were chores that needed doing, he noticed if he asked me to mow the lawn, I would complain and procrastinate. But if he asked would I rather mow the lawn or wash the windows, I'd pick one and just get it done.

Shattered my brain when he told me when I was in my twenties. I use it when I'm coaching or baby sitting all the time and it almost never fails.

AppealToReason16

The Boy Who Cried 'Ouch'

I've done this one with tens of kids. Any time a kid gets "hurt" (falls down on grass, gets gently hit in the face with a ball, etc.) instead of stopping the activity to pick the kid up and see if they're ok you just scoot them off to the side and resume. Within 10 seconds of not getting all the attention and seeing the fun is resuming they pop right back up and are magically healed.

This of course is only for the "injuries" that aren't actually injuries.

pedanticProgramer

It may be fake, but it doesn't mean it won't work.

Our mind is a funny thing. We can easily convince ourselves of something with so much conviction that it turns into a semblance of reality. The power of belief can work miracles, but unfortunately, also create a whole bunch of trouble. There are entire industries that revolve around our willingness to believe. Discovering the truth can be a bitter pill to swallow. Trust me, we've all been there.

Redditor u/codeabranchpredictor asks the question...'What is your placebo effect story?'

It Worked Like A Dream

My daughter was suffering from insomnia and asked if I had anything that might help. I told her about Melatonin - and went to my CAR to get her one (huh?). I came back in and gave her a Tic-Tac.

She yelled at me the next day, because she fell asleep immediately after taking it and couldn't wake up the next day - felt drowsy all day.

I laughed my a** off.

Malruhn

Next time maybe half a tic tac

handsomesquidward738

An Extra-Strength Exaggeration 

Not just one story, but every time I give someone pain medication (I'm a paramedic) I tell them that it is extremely strong and will work SUPER well, so to just be aware. Even though I usually give smaller doses of the medication.

I've found that the people I say this to prior to giving the medication seem to think it's works better.

TheRagingLion

I've had this happen to me as a patient and I like being given "permission to relax." I know that sounds weird but when you are legitimately worried that you are going to die (which is why you didn't Lyft it) you are hyper-vigilant. When I hear this I hear "I got you. You can relax now and I believe your pain" in which case the lower doses probably DO actually work better!

COWaterLover

"This stuff is normally reserved for surgeries but you can have some"

"This is a skittle"

MomoPewpew

Doctor's Orders

I started getting headaches when I was 5 yrs. old. Family doctor told mom not to be silly, children don't get headaches. After a few years, he finally said he would give me something for them. He pulled a big jar out of the cupboard and poured a bunch of little red pills into an envelope and said take one anytime my head started to hurt. I was an advanced reader, especial mysteries. In the lobby, checking out, I asked my mom if they were sugar pills. They were. 40 years go by, I'm talking with my uncle. He says he sure wished he could find out what those little red pills were, that he got from the same doctor. They were the best medicine he had ever had for his arthritis. I never told him.

Nottoo_____

Touched By...You Know Who

I spent a full year and a half with odd neurological sensations (buzzing, tingling, numbness, stabbing pain all over my body) . One particular pain was a pain in my finger that felt like I had a splinter in my finger when brushed or touched lightly. Dr's/ neurologists were unsure of what was going on with me but they were certain it was nothing "serious"... they hinted that the pain in my finger could be something called allodynia. Not a fun time and very scary.

Well, I had an old childhood friend visit me and stay with me for a week. I caught him up on everything that had been going on with my health. We knew each other since elementary school. He was always the coolest guy in school. In the best bands. Best baseball player. Best skater. All the girls loved him. But he was also a super hypochondriac and anxiety got to him majorly in his 20's. Any who.

He knew me really really well. Best friends all through our teens... telling him about my finger he says "Dude. My skin hurts too when I'm super stressed out. Right here (he rubs the hair on his head) You're stressed. This is a stressful thing to go through... and your nerves are shot and hypersensitive. Mine comes and goes. You'll be fine." And he puts his hand on my shoulder. "Serious sully man. I promise. I know you. You'll be fine." And it was the thing that I'd been wanting for so long. Someone who knew me well, telling me I would be ok.

After a year and a half of telling every sort of dr, therapist, healers etc etc etc... I swear to god... within that hour... the pain went away. I had had that pain for a solid year. Touch my finger. Boom. Sharp shocking splinter feeling. We were at dinner.... I touched my finger. Nothing. Thought it was a fluke. Nothing the next day. Or the day after that. And nothing for over 2 years now.

The odds of my body magically healing during the hour after my friend talking to me in such a transformative way... I'd say are pretty low. I think it was the most important placebo I've ever gotten.

BunsTown

puts his hand on my shoulder

Nah, it's not a placebo... your friend is Jesus. It's the only explanation.

mmgtks

Courage In A Bottle

When I was about 7 years old I used to really be afraid of the dark. I wouldn't want to walk into my room without some sort of light on. One day I had a drink that had the work "bravery" on the bottle. 7 year old me thought that drinking this would help! As soon as I drank it i walked into my room without any lights on and as soon as I was starting to feel a bit scared I remembered the drink and realized everything was fine. That was actually the last time I was afraid of the dark.


level 1lvix_v

Toke A Moment

So I was in Amsterdam few months ago, just to visit the city btw, not because of weed. We went to a shop where they were selling cakes and hot chocolate and things like that. I bought a cup of coffee and 10 minutes after drinking the coffee I said to myself "wait, did you just drink weed coffee?", because the taste was a bit different/weird. And I literally started feeling high and I was paranoid. After 15 minutes I said to myself "nope, it wasn't weed coffee" a few times and then all the feelings just disappeared.

MaxVLVC

Wait, is weed coffee a thing?? How would they even do that? Weed creamer? I gotta know... for science, of course.

Kazhoura

This Sounds Familiar...

Once thought I learned Mandarin in two days thanks to some smart pills. I believe it's called the placebee effect.pizza_witch

Did you try and make a cat and a spider communicate with each other?

iamlost666

You know what they say. The good of the scorpion is not the good for the frog.

VespineWings

Mind Over These Matters

I've had chronic health problems since childhood that doctors were long incapable of definitively diagnosing. One physician I had spent years experimenting on me with various medications, most of which did nothing or just made me sicker in even the tiniest dosages. SSRIs, vitamins, hormones, steroids, on and on. During one visit he was sitting as his desk reviewing my file and started in saying; "Y'know, the power of the human mind in amazing..."

He then proceeded to give a short explanation of the Placebo Effect and its amazing results, ending with the suggestion that perhaps I should give it a try, to which I responded; "That sounds great, doctor, but for the Placebo Effect to work, aren't I supposed to NOT know that I'm taking a placebo?" He fell silent for a bit, then moved on to other topics.

EricHunting

Your knowledge doesn't actually matter, if you are commit to something (the act of taking a medicine) is enough. Your brain will do the rest. The more invasive the procedure, the better the placebo will work.

Gladix

Tic-Tacs Truly Are A Cure-All, Aren't They?

I had a severe panic disorder when I was like 6 and my therapist told me that Tic-Tacs would stop them. In reality, they made me not nauseous anymore which calmed me down. I guzzled that for 20 years and now I have permanent esophagus damage.

But I still bought into it for all that time...

-IvyBel

How the heck did tic-tacs damage your esophagus?

GrandmasterGrant

Apparently peppermint oil irritates your skin (especially your mucus membranes) if left on for too long.

ronald_raging

Ba-dum, You're Fine!

If my kid falls and I tell him he's fine, he's fine, and may even laugh. If I don't say anything, he'll get scared he's not fine and cry.

littlesmama12

When my little brother was a toddler, we'd shout "Ba-dum!" after he fell down, even if it looked like it probably hurt. It always made him laugh, then he'd shout "Ba-dum!" right back at us and continue like the fall never happened. It prevented a whole lot of tears and screaming.

Kevoguy

Sounds About Right....

As an novice audio engineer I just recently had an artist in our studio tell me that a section of the song wasn't bright enough. Just for shits and giggles I decided to open a plug-in that was bypassed and turn one of the dials up, then close my eyes and pretend to listen for that "sweet spot."

Dude goes "RIGHT THERE YEEEAAAAHHHHH THATS PERFECT."

Literally nothing I did affected anything about the track.

Damnitkial

A Little Magic Goes A Long Way

I have ghost spray that I spray my kids rooms with if they get scared of the dark. It's just water with a little lavender oil. Helps them sleep. 👻

CheerFairy

I'm a preschool teacher. I keep a bottle of "magic potion lotion" (aveno natural, decorated to hide the label) on my shelf for all those little boo-boos or for when my kiddos are a bit sad. I rub it between my hands, maybe blow on it a couple times or say something kind of funny/magical sounding before putting it on them. Works nearly every time. One boy from another class even brought his mom to me so she could get him some!

hellozoe

Figures...

When I was little I suffered from a long series of nightmares, typical kid stuff with witches and monsters and such. In response to this my mother brought a small Qilin figure, and told me it was a dream guardian that would protect me when I slept and keep away nightmares.

I still have it and have only had about 4 nightmares in the last 20+ years. Most of which I treated with annoyance more then fear.

Treecreaturefrommars

This Job Makes Me Sick

I always break out in hives after job interviews. I also get a lot of anxiety, I feel nauseous and I can't sleep. Sometimes for weeks afterwards. I realized after a few days of this recently that if I just repeat in my head "you got the job already, they offered it to you, you did it!" I can literally watch my skin turn back to a normal color and feel the hives calm down.

proveyouarenotarobot

Mine is explosive diarrhea, I'm not sure which is worse. Every damn interview I feel like I'm going to shit my pants. Which would admittedly be a pretty epic way to end a bad interview.

FearlessLingonberry