People Share The Stupidest Things They Did To Try And Look Cooler As Kids
Why did we try so hard when we were younger?
It was all such a short part of our lives, but we worked so hard to make sure we felt older, looked cooler, and did things "right." Being kids shouldn't have been about that, but we were all in such a hurry to fit in and grow up.
Here were some of the answers.
The Greaser ComplexGiphy
My cousin would squint his eyes all the time because he wanted to look like Danny from Grease but he ended up being taken to the eye doctor because his parents though he had a problem.
I wore two pair of knee high socks, because the Fonze did it. This was July. I complained about the heat. My dad was wondering if I was sick... then he was wondering what was wrong with me. Hooray cool kids!
I Got Hurt!
When I was in elementary school, I thought wearing a bandaid on my knee made me look cool. Having a cut or scrape wasn't necessary.
I... I may or may not have done the same thing. But not on my knee. Nor even just one. One time in third grade, I walked out the door with my entire left arm and hand COVERED in band-aids. My adoptive mom grabbed my collar and yoinked me back in the house like a cartoon and angrily took them all off; I was screaming about how she was gonna keep me from being cool the entire time, of course.
The Grapefruit Tragedy
This is probably the most embarrassing thing I've ever done.
I was in 5th grade and home alone for a couple of hours. We had a bowl of grapefruits on the counter for my mother's most recent fad diet. I was picking them up, trying to juggle, just messing around bored. I suddenly had an idea.
I got one of my mother's bras out of the dirty clothes hamper, put it on over my skinny chest, and- you guessed it- plopped a pair of grapefruits into the cups. Put my top back on and, oh wow, I look FABULOUS. I walk around, look in the mirror, dance a little hoochie-coochie dance in the living room.
Pretty soon I'm convinced that I look completely natural and super teenaged. I go out on the porch to watch my reflection strut back and forth in the front window. God, I am killing this boob thing. My bike is right there, parked by the mailbox.
I'm riding my Huffy banana seat bike around the block, enjoying the wind in my boobs, when my parents come along in our car. They wave, I wave. They pull over. A grapefruit drops to the pavement and rolls slowly under the car. I die of shame but somehow remain fixed in place for all eternity.
My mother puts her face into her open purse and begins to shake while making muffled snorting noises. My dad coolly leans across to the passenger window and, eyes a-twinkle, says, "Going for a little ride, are you? Nice day for it. We'll see you back home, then." They drive off.
I die a few more times, then slowly navigate towards home with my one remaining grapefruit sagging listlessly in defeat.
In elementary school, I thought it was so cool to lose your voice due to sickness. Some days, I'd come into class and pretend I couldn't speak. I'd even put my hand up to answer questions, but I'd answer with what I thought sign language was.
They Were Not Impressed
I ate rocks at the bus stop in order to impress a girl. Didn't chew, just picked up a handful of thick gravel and shoved it in my mouth and swallowed while making eye contact. I thought girls liked guys that did dangerous things, so this made sense in my child brain. It backfired (of course) and she never spoke to me again. I don't remember sh*tting those rocks out, so they may still be in there, for all I know.
Double O Nothin'
I told my best friend that I have another persona from another dimension. The other dimension me is a secret agent. And I told her that she will be meeting other dimension me the next day.
Then the next day I started wearing shades and basically anything that can be associated with secret agents. I would randomly use "gadgets" to perform simple tasks and parkour going to rooms and school grounds.
Not A Smart Plan
When I was in the 4th grade, I somehow got the notion that guys with scars were cool. Needless to say, to heighten my attractiveness I started running the back of my hand along the brick wall leading up to my class. After only a couple of times there was visible damage on my hand.
To be fair, I did gain the attention of some pretty neat people! Like the therapist and school counselor!
Bla Harmy Patar? Clarch!
When my best friends and I were about 10 we thought it was super cool to speak another language aside from English in front of other people, so basically like pretend we were foreigners. Problem was we knew no other language aside from English. Nevertheless, we went to McDonalds and sat there in public talking to each other in very loud gibberish (basically like the Sims) trying to get people to look at us and think we were cool.
The Cringe Factor
I was a "not like other girls" girl. I acted like I was sooo different for liking hard rock music, anime and video games even though there were plenty of other girls who were into it too. I could have been making friends with people with similar interests but instead I patted myself on the back for having mostly male friends. I stumbled upon the not like other girls subreddit and I cringed so hard because I used to be one of them.
The Ghost Of YouGiphy
I thought I was mysterious by writing notes to my crush and dropping them under his desk in like 5th grade. Two problems A) He sat right next to me so he saw my hand writing constantly B) He didn't like me at all and straight up told me one day to stop leaving the notes. I am pretty sure I died that day and have been haunting my body since.
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