Couples Share Which Seemingly Unromantic Thing Brought Them Closer Together
It doesn't matter how hot someone is... we're all gross deep down. Finding a partner to accept us at our nastiest or most vulnerable is the goal, and these stories show that it's possible. There's hope out there.
Roivas14 asked couples of Reddit: What's the most unromantic thing that's happened between the two of you that actually is a stronger indication of love than others might think?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
This is what partnership looks like.
When we'd been married about 10 years, two little kids, jobs not paying enough to cover daycare and bills, and were having the sort of fight that these stresses can precipitate. It was a nasty one, we were not holding back with unkind things said to each other...
And then the phone rang. My dad was in the hospital 1200 miles away. He'd had a stroke, docs were unsure whether he'd live.
The fight stopped and she told me to get in the car and go to the airport, she'd have tickets waiting for me at the counter. She'd call my boss and explain that I was flying across the country. Take how much time I needed, she would take care of the house and the kids and to not worry about anything but taking care of my family.
Dad made it a few years after that, but now I know that no matter how hard life gets, and however much two volatile pig-headed jerks fight and yell, she isn't just on my team, she IS my team. We'll be married 30 years this year. Life happens, and sometimes people aren't perfect, but when the world is against me, that little woman will grab my arm and we'll roar together, and nothing will break us.
This is so much better than the poop stories.
Find yourself a spouse that care this much.
I grew up with my grandparents bc both my parents had to work various jobs simultaneously, so my grandfather was my world. I took care of him during his last 5 years, when he became bedriden. I tried to visit him as often as I could. He lived with an elderly aunt who fed him, but needed me to bathe him and, eventually, change his diapers and so on. Early in our relationship, my now wife would come over sometimes. One time I got to his house and found his fridge full and him watching Tv, eating a bowl of ice cream. My wife had gone a few hours before me without telling me. 6 months later I proposed.
Did you know she was the one before or did it hit you in that moment? Your wife sounds like a beautiful human.
Those who know you best care the most.
My boyfriend made me go to the gynecologist to talk about getting an ablation after watching me struggle from crippling pain and bleeding every month for years. He said not to worry about money or anything else besides solving my problem. Fast forward two months and I got a call from my surgeon. Apparently I missed the fact that they did a biopsy when they removed my polyps and found uterine cancer. Had I been stubborn and continued to ignore my miserable periods for years, who knows what could have happened to me. No one expects uterine cancer in someone under 30. He held me while I cried, took me to every appointment, and helped me when I recovered after my hysterectomy. That dude is my rock.
Wow, I suffer from this as well, plus I've always had bladder and urethra problems, not being able to pee or not all the way. After reading your post I'm going to get checked out. I'm 37 so I guess it's time. I hope you are doing well and never have to go through anything like that again:-) Your man sounds like he's a keeper!
In sickness and in health...
The last few years before my mother passed away, she had horrible diarrhea & had lost most of her mobility. So it was not uncommon for her to be unable to make it out of the bed, much less to the bathroom. Every time this would happen, my old man would get up, get her to the bathroom & cleaned up, then go back into the bedroom, pull the sheets off their bed, put them in the wash, and finish off with putting fresh clean sheets down. Oh, and he wasn't in much better health himself. But he never complained.
For everyone reading this, adult diapers and waterproof pads exist for this very reason.
She was already using them. But they are not as great as you might think. Add to that the fact that once the deed is done, you still have to be cleaned up. And if you've ever changed a baby's diaper, you know it's a hell of a lot more messy than if it went straight into the toilet.
Talk about roid rage...
My boyfriend texted me one day when he was at the gym that he believed his rectum had prolapsed. No idea how, but I started googling what we needed to do about it. I read that if it wasn't serious, you could just push it back in before going to a doctor, instead of heading to the ER.
So what do I do? Put on a pair of gloves, lube my finger up, and kneel in front of him while he's lying on the bed attempting to push part of his rectum back in.
Turns out it was just a giant hemhorroid when he went to the doctors the next day. But I think that was a moment in our relationship where it was established that we both had complete comfort with each other.
This was the first one I read that was actually unromantic. Also holy sh*t.
Rectum? No I married him.
Doing the Lord's work.
My husband and I often end up showering together, and one night as he was about to get in he said "never mind. I'll clean up and get some food ready for you and let you shave your butt in peace."
That is truly beautiful.
There are few things more agonizing than cysts like this.
I had an ingrown hair cyst surgically removed from my butt crack. My SO had to help me stuff new gauze in the 1.5 in hole in my flesh so it could heal properly. I bent over the bed while she removed the gauze used during surgery and she did her best. I ended up having to pull it out myself in the bathroom leaving blood all over the floor and myself. Even after the trauma of trying to remove the first gauze she came back to help me get the new gauze in place after I cleaned up.
We called it my double butthole.
Edit: Yes it was a pilonidal cyst. The hairball the surgeon pulled out was the size of a quarter.
Edit2: I showed my girlfriend the comments and she said, "omg that really was traumatic for everyone involved."
Omg- my husband had the same thing happen before we met but the place never really seemed to heal (there was a tube put in for drainage or something that stayed in after it healed) when it started draining again long after the procedure I was keeping an eye on his "double butthole"
Edit: though he did not enjoy that I called it that.
More couples should do this; personal space is important.
My wife and I came to understand that we can sleep apart for the sake of comfort and good rest, without it being an expression of emotional distance.
When my husband and I first got married we bought a king size bed and our own blankets. Best decision we ever made. Saved us so much arguing. Some people I've told think it weird but I am free to cocoon in my blankets and he is free to only sleep under a sheet. Neither of us snore so it works well.
Sleeping separately saved my marriage when my insomnia gets bad and my husband's snoring gets really bad. I think it's wonderful to be able to sleep separately most of the time and still feel incredibly close to each other.
Definitely not romantic.
My SO puked in the parking lot on our first date. BEFORE we even got into the restaurant. I thought she was having second thoughts because she just got out of a horrible relationship. Nope, she was on her period and it was bad enough where she would puke.
We're married now!
If a woman is on a date with you, on her period that's bad enough she will throw up in the parking lot, she really likes you or she has no food at home.
Yea I was just going to say, it's that bad and she's still there? She must have really liked him!
Haha well she did marry me so I think she liked me a little bit :)
No no, this isn't even close.
My husband got diarrhea so bad that it went everywhere in our bathroom, and I accidentally sat in it. I cleaned everything off, and jumped in the shower to clean his poop off while he was still going. I started puking in the shower from the awful seafood foodpoisoning smells. He says his time for me is us waiting in a drive thru line and I sneezed a giant snot rocket all over my shirt and freaked out trying to hide it and find a tissue.
When you share an organ.
I donated a kidney to him. Then when his wound wouldn't close four weeks later, I packed and dressed it twice a day while trying not to make it obvious that the smell was making me gag. You do what you gotta do!
Edit—thanks for the gold/silver! Fixed would to wound, whoops.
One other thing—unfortunately donating a kidney is a treatment and not a cure. We were told the average (living) kidney donation lasts for 15 years. But we also are closely watching
The Kidney Project, where they are creating an artificial kidney about the size of a soda can that can be implanted into you. It is going to help so many people!
If this ain't love...
My wife was soooooo sick. Like could barely stand sick. She crawled to the toilet and was rolling and groaning from stomach pain. She's never been able to make herself vomit on command.
I got her over the toilet, had her take a few deep breaths, and jammed my fingers down her throat (with warning and permission)
She demon spewed all over my hand and the toilet. Pretty chunky and sticky but she felt so much better.
As a girl that also cannot make herself vomit on command, this is really selfless.
Definitely pranking each other thoroughly.
I spent a little more than a year randomly sending him emails from a man named "Nolan." He works in customer service and I made the most ridiculous case for him to solve involving a balloon business. Once in a while, during a slow time at my job, good old Nolan would email him. Last message was about Nolan asking the hubs to join him in a doomsday bunker...
I finally decided to tell him the truth on our anniversary, which is on April 1st.
He got me back this Christmas. He anonymously sent me a super low-rent Chevy Chase coloring book. I greatly dislike Chevy Chase, to put it mildly. He enjoyed me plotting revenge against my friends, and even egged me on. He finally admitted the truth on New Year's Eve.
I plan to retaliate in the near future.
Edit: Thank you, mysterious Redditor for the Platinum!
Edit 2: Thank you for the silver, too! I'm flattered!
Are you close or are you poop close?
My wife was battling cancer and couldn't poop from all the medication she was given. So I had to give her a suppository. Once it took effect, I had to stay in the bathroom and watch her because she thought she might pass out. True love.
Enjoying each other's company without having to talk. Like cats.
Man all of these are like medical conditions and crazy stuff like that.. One time my girlfriend just said she wanted to see me but didn't wanna talk to anybody after a rough day at work. So she came to my house and sat in my bed with me while I played video games until we both fell asleep. Didn't say a word other than "hey" when she got there, and "Alright, bed. Love you."
I'm away for work right now and had a really tough day. I called my husband and he instantly knew something was wrong. I told him just to talk to me. He told me about his day and when he ran out of things, he read me a Wikipedia article about different types of pastry dough. SO's that can support you through the little days are the best.
What unromantic or gross event brought you closer to someone?
Quitting a job can be a liberating feeling, but it can also be scary as hell... especially if you don't have another job waiting for you on the horizon.
Thanks to Redditor BurningDruid13, we have some answers to the following question: "Have you ever quit a job, without another lined up, for your mental health? How did it turn out?"