IRL

Dads-To-Be Reveal What Happened When The Baby Turned Out Not To Be Theirs

Yoshiyoshi Hirokawa/ GettyImages

Few moments can top the birth of your child. That is, if it is your child. As high as your heart can soar holding that child in your arms for the first time, the depths to which it can sink when you learn that the baby isn't yours can only be written of in Greek tragedies...so let's look at some!


Reddit user, u/MurkMunny, wanted to hear to know if it was a boy or a girl when they asked:

To any redditor who's wife/SO had a baby that clearly wasn't yours, what's your story?

Huh...There We Go

My dad is half Japanese. Bit strange since both my grandparents are white russians

Edit: I should add that I was born after my mom and dad broke up. So my grandmother came to visit me in the hospital, but then went back and told my dad that I couldn't possibly be his because I was black.

I'm so white I glow in the dark.

LilithImmaculate

A Mix Of Feelings

Was in a long-distance relationship with a girl in college. After going two months without a period, she took a pregnancy test which turned up positive. After informing me, I had to keep myself from panicking (I hate kids, and didn't work during college to avoid burning out). While she refused an abortion, she agreed to adopt out the baby when it was born.

A week goes by and I get a massive wall of text from her in Skype that basically boils down to "I'm leaving you, the kid is not yours as my ex and I had a ton of unprotected sex, and the doctor confirmed that the date of conception isn't when you and I were together. I'm not sure why you didn't realize this already, but I'm sorry for everything."

It's a weird mix of feelings to both go "yay I'm not a dad" and "OMG, the girl I intended on marrying is pregnant with her ex's kid".

TheMohawkNinja

Bad Family

I have a cousin that cheated on her husband while she was abroad, she has the kid and her husband divorces her after he found out the kid is not his and that she was staying with the father of the child.

Couple of years later, when I was visiting her parents, I asked what happened and they told me the baby-daddy wasn't some big shot business owner but a junkie that has to look for new jobs because he is always fired. The now ex-husband was the one that paid for her and the kid's airplane ticke and the kid's immigration papers. She now lives somewhere else, where hardly anyone knows her while the kid is looked after by his grandparents.

To clarify, the woman f-cked off somewhere because of the shame and her kid is with her parents because they believe she can't raise a child well, the kid is doing well. The ex-husband still talks to them and is cordial but he is more of a big brother figure to the kid.

illogicalfuturity

A Long Process Just To Hear "No"

I am now in my 50s. Back in my 20s, I was really desperate and dated a woman who was about 12 years older. About 9 months into our relationship, I go away to another state for a weekend trip. Come back and found out that she had given birth to a child.

I was perplexed because she didn't seem pregnant and no one around us knew she was pregnant. She even said that she didn't know that she was pregnant. I'm black, the woman was white and the kid was powder white. But, I do have white in my family. I didn't believe the kid was mine because, 1) I would have had to impregnate her in the first month (possible, but I don't remember ejaculating) , 2) she looks nothing like me and 3) she's too light to have my genes.

My mom convinces me that this has to be my kid because the woman says it is and that I have a mixed background. I want to believe it because not believing it means some other guy is the dad. But, my rational side says there is no way she's mine.

So, we move in and eventually get married. The relationship doesn't last and we separate. I decide that I have to find out the truth, even though I know it. I get some money together and get a DNA test. Sure enough, I'm 99% excluded.

I show the results to the mother and she says I'm wrong and the test is wrong and that I just don't want to be a dad. I tell her that I do, but I'm done paying child support. However, I give her the option to pay for another DNA test or go through the courts. She declined.

Stuntedatpuberty

No Matter What

I always wanted to be a dad. I was SO excited and happy when my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. I fell in love the instant she held my thumb the day she was born. Fast forward two years and two months when I found my daughter wasn't mine. I was crushed and beat to the ground but I got back up. I left her mom but have never for a second thought about leaving her, she turns four this summer and she is my world, she's my daughter no matter what a test tells me. I love her more than I've ever loved anything.

dirtdee

Like A Living Sitcom

I have a friend from Sudan. Hooked up with a white girl at a college party. Just a one night stand, until 9+ months later she tracked him down for a paternity test.

She was living with her white boyfriend and his parents. They threw her a shower, built a nursery, were at the delivery..... and in true sitcom-esque* fashion she didn't give any indication it wasn't his until her little fro popped out of her.

My Sudanese friend and his current wife have primary custody of the lovely 10 yr old girl and one of their own. Birth mom continues to make poor choices.

Dystopianpresent

Strange, Must Be True

Both my parents are brown with black hair and brown eyes. I came out white with blonde hair and blue eyes. My dad didn't believe I was his.

My brother was born white with blonde hair and blue eyes. We look like our dad so there no denying we aren't his.

HakixJack

Look Into The Eyes

So I'm mixed black and white, and my ex is black as night. Our oldest had blue eyes at birth and blond hair, pale as hell.

There were several occasions where her mom as asked if she was the babysitter.

Or the one time when all of us were walking downtown, our daughter 2 at time, with curly white-blond hair, and some guy we pass by says "I can't believe they dyed that baby's hair" quickly followed by the woman with him saying "that's natural you idiot" to him....

her eyes eventually turned green at 9 or so...

evilcj925

Double Check Your Calendar

Not me but my husband. He lost his virginity then 2 weeks later the girl claimed she was pregnant with his child. After measuring the fetus, the doctor changed her original due date to a month earlier. Which means her conception date was a month earlier. She still swore she hadn't been with anyone else for months before him and him being in love and naive, he actually believed her. They even named the baby after him.

As a newborn he could pass for his kid, and I honestly thought the kid was his back then (we had a mutual friend). We started dating when the kid was 2.5 years old. Looked absolutely nothing like him. Her friends started telling him things, that she would ask them if her son looked like different guys she had been with, and that she had been cheating on him.

So at 3 years old he finally bought a DNA test kit and found out the obvious truth. He was DEVASTATED to say the least. Ugly crying, depressed, etc. He continued to take care of him but stopped paying child support. Kid is 10 years old now and we still have him every weekend.

m0mmyneedsabeer

Best Friend Betrayal

Years ago, when I was in high school, my gf told me she was pregnant, even though we hadn't had sex in several months. We already had a 2 year old daughter by then, and things were just not going well between us...Fast forward approximately 9 months, to the time she was ready to deliver the baby. We had broken up by then, and moved into different homes. I drove her to the hospital because no one else was able to help her...

Later that day, she calls me and asks when I'm going to "see my son." I drop by the hospital that evening after work, and there's a little baby boy with the unmistakable, very distinct facial features of my best friend/roommate.

Of course he denied all of it. We weren't really friends after that. This little boy was my responsibility until the court-ordered DNA test were done a year later, which proved I was not the father. My old best friend/the father of the little boy wasn't around and didn't help out. So I raised his son, along with my daughter, as my own child.

YepThatLooksInfected

No Matter What, You're Mine

Had a very on-and-off relationship. Child was born during an off period, about fourteen months after the last time GF and I had sex, so clearly not mine. But kid was beautiful and sweet, and bio-father disappeared after about a year, so she became mine.

She just graduated from college, lives with me, and we haven't talked to her mother in almost ten years. "How to become a single parent the weird way."

LowerSeaworthiness

Even The Grandparents Are Getting In On The Action

My grandmother is the result of an Irish boarder staying with my great grandmother during the war. Great-grandad went off to war in 1939 and came back in 1945 to two extra kids.

I'm not sure what happened after that tbh.

Damn_Captcha

A Guilty Conscious Weighs On You

I was 21 and just had my second kid with my high school "sweetheart". We had our first Daughter right out of high school at 18. After our second daughter was born my girlfriend began showing signs of severe depression and had to be sent for observation to a psych ward. After the second day there she said there was something weighing on her she had to tell me.

She said that there was a high possibility that our first daughter wasn't mine and that she had been seeing someone else at the time of conception. I was floored to say the least and it greatly affected our relationship eventually ending it 5 years later. We/I just couldn't seem to get past it. The most messed up part about it is that my daughter is now 16 and her mother told her that she was raped and impregnated that way...I mean really WTF?

Guitardadmandm

All It Takes Is A Little Convincing

My first wife conceived her third child while I left her for a period of time i knew from the start that this boy was NOT mine. When he was only 1 year old and my boy was 4 yrs old and my girl was 5, I divorced her. She was never a good mother or wife so I ended up taking all 3 children and raising them myself as a single dad.

I knew for sure they were better off with me. She had nothing to do with them from that time on. Being that I was only 16 when I married her and I was getting married as a way of running away from home, I never considered what kind of wife or mother she would be. I just needed to get away from a very abusive father at that time.

Mathews176

The Ol' Switcheroo

My cousin went through IVF treatment. The lab got her husband and another men junk mixed up but by the time it was found out she was 18 weeks pregnant

Both cousin and husband are white German my beautiful nephew is a pretty coffee colour.

Got enough money to pay for he's education right up to uni.

toniqu19

Can't Trust The Help

My ex-wife and I had been married for 6 years and we finally decided it was time to have a second baby.

I work as a VP of sales for a popular restaurant chain, and travel extensively as part of my job.

After trying for a few months, when I was home from traveling, she finally got pregnant. Things were going great and our male Nigerian nanny who helped out with my young daughter and my wife with chores around the house when I was traveling for work was doing an amazing job.

When the baby was born, it was immediately clear it was not mine. My wife and I are both white, and the baby was very dark.

I walked out of the delivery room shocked, left the hospital, drove aimlessly for a while chain smoking cigarettes, and finally checked into a hotel off the highway when it started getting dark out.

Turns out my Nigerian nanny knocked up my wife while I was away traveling for work, and they had been sleeping together for years.

We sold the house and got a divorce soon after, and share custody of our daughter.

She got re-married to the nanny and they just bought a home together a few towns away.

I live in an apartment near our daughter's school, and started dating again recently.

TotallyMadeUpStory

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

Giphy

My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

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I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

Giphy

Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

Giphy

How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

Giphy

I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

Giphy

3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

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I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo