Dads-To-Be Reveal What Happened When The Baby Turned Out Not To Be Theirs
Few moments can top the birth of your child. That is, if it is your child. As high as your heart can soar holding that child in your arms for the first time, the depths to which it can sink when you learn that the baby isn't yours can only be written of in Greek tragedies...so let's look at some!
Reddit user, u/MurkMunny, wanted to hear to know if it was a boy or a girl when they asked:
Huh...There We Go
My dad is half Japanese. Bit strange since both my grandparents are white russians
Edit: I should add that I was born after my mom and dad broke up. So my grandmother came to visit me in the hospital, but then went back and told my dad that I couldn't possibly be his because I was black.
I'm so white I glow in the dark.
A Mix Of Feelings
Was in a long-distance relationship with a girl in college. After going two months without a period, she took a pregnancy test which turned up positive. After informing me, I had to keep myself from panicking (I hate kids, and didn't work during college to avoid burning out). While she refused an abortion, she agreed to adopt out the baby when it was born.
A week goes by and I get a massive wall of text from her in Skype that basically boils down to "I'm leaving you, the kid is not yours as my ex and I had a ton of unprotected sex, and the doctor confirmed that the date of conception isn't when you and I were together. I'm not sure why you didn't realize this already, but I'm sorry for everything."
It's a weird mix of feelings to both go "yay I'm not a dad" and "OMG, the girl I intended on marrying is pregnant with her ex's kid".
I have a cousin that cheated on her husband while she was abroad, she has the kid and her husband divorces her after he found out the kid is not his and that she was staying with the father of the child.
Couple of years later, when I was visiting her parents, I asked what happened and they told me the baby-daddy wasn't some big shot business owner but a junkie that has to look for new jobs because he is always fired. The now ex-husband was the one that paid for her and the kid's airplane ticke and the kid's immigration papers. She now lives somewhere else, where hardly anyone knows her while the kid is looked after by his grandparents.
To clarify, the woman f-cked off somewhere because of the shame and her kid is with her parents because they believe she can't raise a child well, the kid is doing well. The ex-husband still talks to them and is cordial but he is more of a big brother figure to the kid.
A Long Process Just To Hear "No"
I am now in my 50s. Back in my 20s, I was really desperate and dated a woman who was about 12 years older. About 9 months into our relationship, I go away to another state for a weekend trip. Come back and found out that she had given birth to a child.
I was perplexed because she didn't seem pregnant and no one around us knew she was pregnant. She even said that she didn't know that she was pregnant. I'm black, the woman was white and the kid was powder white. But, I do have white in my family. I didn't believe the kid was mine because, 1) I would have had to impregnate her in the first month (possible, but I don't remember ejaculating) , 2) she looks nothing like me and 3) she's too light to have my genes.
My mom convinces me that this has to be my kid because the woman says it is and that I have a mixed background. I want to believe it because not believing it means some other guy is the dad. But, my rational side says there is no way she's mine.
So, we move in and eventually get married. The relationship doesn't last and we separate. I decide that I have to find out the truth, even though I know it. I get some money together and get a DNA test. Sure enough, I'm 99% excluded.
I show the results to the mother and she says I'm wrong and the test is wrong and that I just don't want to be a dad. I tell her that I do, but I'm done paying child support. However, I give her the option to pay for another DNA test or go through the courts. She declined.
No Matter What
I always wanted to be a dad. I was SO excited and happy when my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. I fell in love the instant she held my thumb the day she was born. Fast forward two years and two months when I found my daughter wasn't mine. I was crushed and beat to the ground but I got back up. I left her mom but have never for a second thought about leaving her, she turns four this summer and she is my world, she's my daughter no matter what a test tells me. I love her more than I've ever loved anything.
Like A Living Sitcom
I have a friend from Sudan. Hooked up with a white girl at a college party. Just a one night stand, until 9+ months later she tracked him down for a paternity test.
She was living with her white boyfriend and his parents. They threw her a shower, built a nursery, were at the delivery..... and in true sitcom-esque* fashion she didn't give any indication it wasn't his until her little fro popped out of her.
My Sudanese friend and his current wife have primary custody of the lovely 10 yr old girl and one of their own. Birth mom continues to make poor choices.
Strange, Must Be True
Both my parents are brown with black hair and brown eyes. I came out white with blonde hair and blue eyes. My dad didn't believe I was his.
My brother was born white with blonde hair and blue eyes. We look like our dad so there no denying we aren't his.
Look Into The Eyes
So I'm mixed black and white, and my ex is black as night. Our oldest had blue eyes at birth and blond hair, pale as hell.
There were several occasions where her mom as asked if she was the babysitter.
Or the one time when all of us were walking downtown, our daughter 2 at time, with curly white-blond hair, and some guy we pass by says "I can't believe they dyed that baby's hair" quickly followed by the woman with him saying "that's natural you idiot" to him....
her eyes eventually turned green at 9 or so...
Double Check Your Calendar
Not me but my husband. He lost his virginity then 2 weeks later the girl claimed she was pregnant with his child. After measuring the fetus, the doctor changed her original due date to a month earlier. Which means her conception date was a month earlier. She still swore she hadn't been with anyone else for months before him and him being in love and naive, he actually believed her. They even named the baby after him.
As a newborn he could pass for his kid, and I honestly thought the kid was his back then (we had a mutual friend). We started dating when the kid was 2.5 years old. Looked absolutely nothing like him. Her friends started telling him things, that she would ask them if her son looked like different guys she had been with, and that she had been cheating on him.
So at 3 years old he finally bought a DNA test kit and found out the obvious truth. He was DEVASTATED to say the least. Ugly crying, depressed, etc. He continued to take care of him but stopped paying child support. Kid is 10 years old now and we still have him every weekend.
Best Friend Betrayal
Years ago, when I was in high school, my gf told me she was pregnant, even though we hadn't had sex in several months. We already had a 2 year old daughter by then, and things were just not going well between us...Fast forward approximately 9 months, to the time she was ready to deliver the baby. We had broken up by then, and moved into different homes. I drove her to the hospital because no one else was able to help her...
Later that day, she calls me and asks when I'm going to "see my son." I drop by the hospital that evening after work, and there's a little baby boy with the unmistakable, very distinct facial features of my best friend/roommate.
Of course he denied all of it. We weren't really friends after that. This little boy was my responsibility until the court-ordered DNA test were done a year later, which proved I was not the father. My old best friend/the father of the little boy wasn't around and didn't help out. So I raised his son, along with my daughter, as my own child.
No Matter What, You're Mine
Had a very on-and-off relationship. Child was born during an off period, about fourteen months after the last time GF and I had sex, so clearly not mine. But kid was beautiful and sweet, and bio-father disappeared after about a year, so she became mine.
She just graduated from college, lives with me, and we haven't talked to her mother in almost ten years. "How to become a single parent the weird way."
Even The Grandparents Are Getting In On The Action
My grandmother is the result of an Irish boarder staying with my great grandmother during the war. Great-grandad went off to war in 1939 and came back in 1945 to two extra kids.
I'm not sure what happened after that tbh.
A Guilty Conscious Weighs On You
I was 21 and just had my second kid with my high school "sweetheart". We had our first Daughter right out of high school at 18. After our second daughter was born my girlfriend began showing signs of severe depression and had to be sent for observation to a psych ward. After the second day there she said there was something weighing on her she had to tell me.
She said that there was a high possibility that our first daughter wasn't mine and that she had been seeing someone else at the time of conception. I was floored to say the least and it greatly affected our relationship eventually ending it 5 years later. We/I just couldn't seem to get past it. The most messed up part about it is that my daughter is now 16 and her mother told her that she was raped and impregnated that way...I mean really WTF?
All It Takes Is A Little Convincing
My first wife conceived her third child while I left her for a period of time i knew from the start that this boy was NOT mine. When he was only 1 year old and my boy was 4 yrs old and my girl was 5, I divorced her. She was never a good mother or wife so I ended up taking all 3 children and raising them myself as a single dad.
I knew for sure they were better off with me. She had nothing to do with them from that time on. Being that I was only 16 when I married her and I was getting married as a way of running away from home, I never considered what kind of wife or mother she would be. I just needed to get away from a very abusive father at that time.
The Ol' Switcheroo
My cousin went through IVF treatment. The lab got her husband and another men junk mixed up but by the time it was found out she was 18 weeks pregnant
Both cousin and husband are white German my beautiful nephew is a pretty coffee colour.
Got enough money to pay for he's education right up to uni.
Can't Trust The Help
My ex-wife and I had been married for 6 years and we finally decided it was time to have a second baby.
I work as a VP of sales for a popular restaurant chain, and travel extensively as part of my job.
After trying for a few months, when I was home from traveling, she finally got pregnant. Things were going great and our male Nigerian nanny who helped out with my young daughter and my wife with chores around the house when I was traveling for work was doing an amazing job.
When the baby was born, it was immediately clear it was not mine. My wife and I are both white, and the baby was very dark.
I walked out of the delivery room shocked, left the hospital, drove aimlessly for a while chain smoking cigarettes, and finally checked into a hotel off the highway when it started getting dark out.
Turns out my Nigerian nanny knocked up my wife while I was away traveling for work, and they had been sleeping together for years.
We sold the house and got a divorce soon after, and share custody of our daughter.
She got re-married to the nanny and they just bought a home together a few towns away.
I live in an apartment near our daughter's school, and started dating again recently.
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