People Reveal The Dirtiest Hotel Room They've Ever Stayed In

One of the things I honestly miss the most about being a child is how blissfully unaware I was of just how filthy some places are. As a child I never got onto an airplane and wondered what that smell was. I don't recall a single time I walked into a hotel room, a friend's house, a restaurant, etc and ever contemplated how sanitary it was - or wasn't.

And then, somewhere along the lines, my innocent childhood blinders fell off and I could see everything. Everything. The sorts of things you can see when you gain germ-vision are just ... just ... whyyyyy?!

Reddit user Latterwatercress asked:

What was your "They didn't clean this hotel room very well" moment?

Some of these people absolutely did not need to be germophobes to be able to tell their rooms weren't cleaned. I'm not talking about one little bug or a layer of dust. You're about to enter an article full of bodily fluids, sh*t tons of literal sh*t, and at least one potential homicide. Honestly, we're all over here questioning whether any hotel room we stay in ever again will really be "clean."

Yup. Now we're traumatized. Our hats are off to you hotel workers who have to clean up after guests. Apparently the human animal is truly a horrific beast. (Some responses have been edited for clarity and language... especially the poop stories. Obviously.)

Reddit user Latterwatercress asked:

What was your "They didn't clean this hotel room very well" moment?

Some of these people absolutely did not need to be germophobes to be able to tell their rooms weren't cleaned. I'm not talking about one little bug or a layer of dust. You're about to enter an article full of bodily fluids, sh*t tons of literal sh*t, and at least one potential homicide. Honestly, we're all over here questioning whether any hotel room we stay in ever again will really be "clean."

Yup. Now we're traumatized. Our hats are off to you hotel workers who have to clean up after guests. Apparently the human animal is truly a horrific beast. (Some responses have been edited for clarity and language... especially the poop stories. Obviously.)

Hanging Undies


When I stretched out on the bed and looked up at the ceiling fan, there was underwear hanging on the fan blades - both male and female varieties.

They must've been moist, so the previous hotel guests placed them there to dry. In any case, the cleaning staff apparently never noticed the undies hanging from the fan.

- Back2Bach

Poop or Cigar?

Just a literal log of old sh*t that falls out from the covers. I don't think the staff actually cleaned the bedsheets. Happened when I went on vacation as a kid with my family.

We just checked in to the room and me and my cousins wanted to make a bed sheet fort and when we pulled the covers from the bed and u-ntucked it from the mattress, out rolled the ashy brown log. To be perfectly fair, it could have been an old cigar, but we didn't want anything to do with it either way. My family screamed at the staff for awhile and we left the hotel.

- Wiknetti

Dirty Vegas Room

Las Vegas, summer 2012, we got our room from some online travel site. We go to Vegas, we're in one of the nicest rooms in The Luxor. The morning after we get there, the manager knocks on the door, says something like we shouldn't have been able to book the room or some sh*t? Apparently since it was EDC that meant it was a 'special weekend.' I don't know if this is anywhere close to the true story or not, because my friend is kind of a stupid little ass who never admits fault. Either way, we have to leave.

EDC is huge. We can't find a room. There is a little shitty motel just off of the strip, it's room rental is literally a head shop. It's $80 for the night.

We go in the room, there's one bed, the bed is so stained with semen that it is clearly used exclusively by sex workers and never cleaned. Nothing against sex workers - everything against people who don't clean up after themselves! There are three giant mirrors on the ceiling. The floor is gross, everything looks unkempt - but we have literally 0 other options and it's late.

My friends talked me out of sleeping in the bathroom. But my logic was that at least the hookers at some point used soap in the bathroom.

We all slept on the floor, my friend who was driving us most of the way home didn't even sleep in the room he paid $30 toward. He slept in the car.

The TV was clearly moved so that they could have sex on the stand at some point because I moved it to sleep on something that wasn't the godawful shag carpeting I assume is full of crabs or lice.

We were so screwed with literally no where else to stay, that we slept in room, went back to the Luxor an showered the second we could. I threw away my clothes I slept in.

My friend laughed at me as I tried to figure out a way to sleep without my arms or hands touching the ground, but said that he understood why.

- Tianoccio

Belated Honeymoon

Last December, my wife and I took a very belated honeymoon (about 10 years late) to Disneyworld. (She's a big fan, I am... accommodating.) We stayed in the Contemporary and when we got to the room, the cleaning staff had left rags everywhere and had stashed the cart and bag of trash in the bathroom. Nothing horrifying, but I dropped a lot cash for this. I went to the front desk to get somebody to get the trash out of the room and the guy at the front desk said "What? That sucks." I was like, man, get your manager please. Then I got the apology and a free meal on our meal plan.

- Words-Words-Words

Poop Pile

When my son was really small he had some medical issues, and he pooped in the bed when we were on vacation.

I felt terrible about it but called the front desk, told them, asked if they could send someone sooner than later to clean it up, and if I had to I'd pay extra. I totally understand that cleaning up feces creates a health hazard. I offered to pay extra if I had to or hire someone to come in and get it done. I really couldn't at the time and needed to concentrate on my son.

They said that wouldn't be needed and this was no problem.

Anyways, went out for the day. Returned end of day, open the door and the place smells much worse than when we left. I approach the bed and it was made, but looked a bit lumpy in the middle... Looking around the room everything else was done, garbage taken out, towels replaced, etc. But pulling back the sheets, there was the whole reason I called the front desk in the first place, still there, horribly.

I don't know if they just didn't tell the person who cleaned the room or what was up and they somehow just missed it, adjusted the bed as was but never pulling back the sheets? I have no idea, but they missed it.

So I called down, alerted them, they felt bad and couldn't explain it, we ended up with a new upgraded room as I'm sure they felt bad. But man I don't know how they missed that on the cleaning even without a heads up.

- Billbapapa

Not A Murderer


It's a little long, but worth it.

Well... About 20 years ago my girlfriend at the time (now Mrs) were about to leave for a concert out of town early the next morning and carpool with a friend to the show (about 8 hours drive). We decided to get a hotel room to be closer to the people we were riding with.

We went to the front desk of the University Blvd Holiday Inn and got a room (on the cheap). We opened the door and found that the room was absolutely trashed with beer bottles and clothes still littering the room. Obviously, we didn't want a trashed room and went back to the desk where they gave us a different room. The second room was actually clean and we proceeded to celebrate finding a room, then getting some sleep.

We left early the next morning and made it to the show. Afterwards, we opted to make the brief drive from the show to a city on the coast about an hour from the show to meet up with friends for a few days on the beach. We may have extended that stay a couple days, too.

After about 5 days we returned to our city and went about our lives. Several days later one of my friends pages me that my grandmother has been trying to reach me for a few days. So, I called her up. .

I was NOT prepared for her response. She was screaming and carrying on. Well, apparently the police had been actively looking for me as part of several MURDER investigations. See, that first room we went into had more than clothes and malt liquor everywhere. There were a couple stolen guns, wallets from robbery/homicide victims, clothes with blood on them and lots more evidence of plenty of crimes.

The desk clerk had never fixed the registration in the books and had me as the last person in the room. Come to find out that the maintenance person for the hotel had been letting his homies stay at the Inn without permission. One of those cronies was apparently a pretty infamous gang banger. When I went in to sit down with the police, it was pretty quickly figured out that I was NOT who they were looking for and I was let go.

So... they didn't clean the room.

- WayL0st

Loaded And Loaded

I worked at an extended stay hotel for one of the major brands. One day a nice Japanese couple checked in to their room. Wife, husband, young child. About an hour later the husband comes down and begins to explain that he was pulling out the sofa bed for his child, when he realized that somebody had forgotten their bag of used heroin needles and their LOADED GLOCK, under the mattress. He calmly placed the gun and the bag of needles on the front desk as I rushed into the back office to get our GM as I was not equipped to handle the broken English conversation that was about to go down. I called the cops to come claim the weapon and was conveniently tasked with showing the housekeepers how to properly inspect the sofa mattresses. I don't work in hotels anymore.

- JasonWaterfalls26

The Poo Cruise

This was our room on a cruise many years ago.

First evening of a three day cruise. I'm fifteen. My brothers are younger. My mum is the only adult on the trip. Because I'm a teenager, like hell I'm going to spend time with my family. I find a guy my age and sing karaoke with him.

When it gets late I get back to the cabin. My mum is suffering from mild sea sickness. Brothers are asleep. I'm left with a top bunk. Great. I climb up, without turning on any lights so as not to wake my brothers. I spread open the blanket and...

It looks like poo. It can't be poo. I turn on the small mounted reading light, and yeah it's poo. Mostly dry. Three distinct piles on my snow white sheets.

I climb down. Mum doesn't believe me at first. When she goes to see for herself she tells me she's too sea sick to go to the reception, so I can take her bed and she will sleep in the chair.

It's f*cking poo! If they missed that, what else did they miss? But it's late, I'm so so so tired, I'm an awkward fifteen year old. Last thing I'm going to do is talk to someone. I resign myself to sleeping in the chair and prop my feet against the vanity desk. Now the light is on, because mum had to see the poo for herself.

As I lay in the chair staring at the ceiling I see poo. In the ceiling. I start to laugh. It's too absurd. I turn on all the lights and there are brown stripes in the ceiling! That's not all! If I look closely, it's also in the carpet. Faint, because they got most of it out, but it's there.

Mum says we'll sort this out in the morning.

I'm too angry to sleep!

I go to the information/reception alone. (Before cell phones, and it didn't occur to me to use the cabin phone.) I have to wait, the man at the desk is helping a drunk passenger. When it's my turn, he doesn't believe me. I get angry, which makes him believe me even less. He's condescending towards me. He goes on to say how every cabin is cleaned between trips and nothing like that has ever happened.

Well it happened now. To me. I threaten to throw all the soiled linen into the hallway and he finally agrees to come with me. We have to wait a bit for another staff member to take over the desk, and he's scoffing and puffing. He really doesn't want to do this.

I show him the poo in the bed and on the ceiling and floor, and now that I'm looking at the backside on the chair it's smeared into it as well.

The man is reeeeeaaaallly dismissive. He calls the cleaners, who come and change our sheets while me, mum and my sleepy brothers wait in the hallway.

They find poo in the shower as well.

They clean up the cabin, and the receptionist briefly blames the previous cleaning crew, but that's all we get in the way of apologies.

We don't get an apology, we don't get a new room, we don't get complimentary nothing. We go to sleep in the same room.

Except me, because I'm angry, shaky and full of adrenaline from having argued with an adult.

- Jellorage

Youth Group


I've worked in the hotel industry for many years in corporate sales.

A few years ago I got a call from a Director of Sales at a hotel who was upset at one of the groups we had booked into her hotel. It was a youth - religious group (read cheap, low-rates, and pretty un-supervised).

Many of these groups like to bring in their own food and coolers and snacks to keep meal costs down. Totally fine.

What's NOT fine is deciding to make grilled cheese sandwiches with the iron & ironing board.

So of course this group checks out on a Sunday, and in check all of the business travelers on Sunday night... and they wake up Monday morning to freshly press their suits & dress shirts for their important business meetings, only to have the irons leave giant iron sized grease stains all over their suits as they get ready to go to a conference or important meetings.

So this hotel not only had to replace over 100 irons & ironing board covers - but comp rooms & pay for dry cleaning (or in some cases reimburse) for a ton of expensive business clothes.

Needless to say, that "youth group" wasn't invited to stay with our hotels ever again.

- RoadRage000

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.