IRL

People With Disabilities Reveal The Ways They Mess With Society

Having a disability can be empowering, especially once you learn how to screw with able-bodied people. Of course, some disabilities are invisible - so don't judge.

Midolesi asked disabled people of Reddit: What's something you do on purpose to mess with people?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


15. AWESOME.

I have a friend whose mom has a plate in her head from a tumor she had when my friend was young. She used to sneeze at parties and drop a handful of tiny screws.

MynameisPOG

Something something she had a couple screws loose lol.

GreenTeaDinosaur

14. Quit pulling our legs.

I used to take my prosthetic leg off, turn it around and wear it backwards in school to get out of lessons with a substitute teacher. They'd always look horrified when I said that I'd "sprained my ankle" though.

The teachers caught on quickly enough once they mentioned it to other staff members though lol.

Studio-19

You should do a prank with some friend, play fight. Make sure the substitute sees him twist your leg around, and when he comes to break you up, just discretely put your leg into position and walk. Your friend could also say something like "oh just walk it off!"

Jourei

I'm 27 and work as a web developer now. Unfortunately, I've got to be a little more professional; and nobody would buy it in my office lol.

Studio-19

13. I bet it never gets old.

One of my moms best friends has one arm and uses a prosthetic arm. She likes to unlatch it at bars and then shake hands with men and then they pull off her arm. My mom and her friends greatly enjoy this prank.

kittenkin

This is a nice arm, I gotta hand it to ya.

Water_Glass_

12. Show 'em.

I'm a wheelchair user but not a paraplegic. I also have restless leg syndrome (unrelated). People mention my leg moving in relation to my wheelchair a lot, like a "you can move your legs, so obviously you can walk." I put away my glasses, stand up, take a few steps and fall hard.

Here_I_Pondered

A lot of people don't realize that someone can be in a wheelchair for a variety of reasons. I've met people who could walk fine but still needed a wheelchair because they had a heart condition that caused them to pass out randomly.

Swordfish08

11. Meat.

My friend's father lost his leg just below the hip in a motorcycle accident and always wears a prosthetic; if you didn't know better, you'd think he just has a limp. Occasionally during Halloween he'll participate in the neighborhood haunted house. There was one year that he stuffed ground beef between his stump and the prosthetic and then shackled his prosthetic to the wall. When some kids wandered into his room of the haunted house he chopped through the ground beef with an axe and hopped toward them on one leg. They wet themselves.

TheGrapeBambeano

That reminds me of a story I was told by a re-enactor. Someone he knew lost a leg to a misfiring cannon. They have a realistic prosthetic most of the time, now.

So they would arrange to be carried off the battliefield screaming and with their fake leg covered in fake blood, past the watching crowd and into the medical tent. Then the physician would drop the flaps on the tend and saw through a piece of wood while the guy screamed some more. Then they would open the tent and chuck the blood covered fake leg into a bucket, and the guy would hop out on a peg leg! Apparently people in the audience would faint!

ReCursing

10. Curb your expectations.

Yaaay I finally get to tell this story: not really something I've done multuple times but it still fits here.

I have Cerebral palsy which most noticably affects lower limb function as well as upper limb fuction in a less visible manner. I can still walk short distances with crutches or a walker, but need to be pushed in a wheelchair for anything longer then say 25 meters?.

In any case, a friend and I had been hanging around downtown with me in a wheelchair, having my crutches with me out of habit. When we were just about home I asked if he minded letting me walk for a bit, so I got out and toddled on with my crutches. Not having anything better to do with the wheelchair my friend decides to get in and try some wheelies or whatever.

I don't mind so of we went. For whatever reason we decide to cross the street. I struggle a bit but manage eventually. My able-bodied friend however, did not. In trying to get off the sidewalk, he keels over (presumably spectacularly as my back was turned and I didn't get to see this part, but he landed like a meter away from the wheelchair). Some people who had just come around the corner however did see the whole thing and rushed toward him to help. They had almost reached my friend when he simply (but swiftly) got up on is feet, and started pushing what those people presumed was his own wheelchair, making his way toward me as nonchalantly as he could muster. Needless to say that was not something you'd expect to happen, and this surprise was plain to see on their face

I still remember the look, as I could barely hold in my laughter.

WheelsyGamer

9. I wanna go.

In the town of Pushkar, India there's a teashop off the street coming from the train station. When young tourists walk by with their backpacks, the tea seller comes lurching out of the shadows like f*cking Quasimodo growling, "Chai, chai, chai!" with one eye screwed up, terrifying them. If you go into his shop, though, suddenly he's acting normal - he has a deformity in one leg that gives him a limp, which he massively exaggerates for effect. Once you're in on the joke, it's fun to drink tea there and wait/hope for him to scare more backpackers.

jesteryte

8. Didn't see it coming eh? Also, these are a thing.

I had a blind guy come into the movie theatre and ask for the closed caption glasses. I got them out and handed them to him before I realized he was messing with me.

Byizo

I had no idea these were a thing either. " Sony Entertainment Access Glasses are sort of like 3-D glasses, but for captioning. The captions are projected onto the glasses and appear to float about 10 feet in front of the user. They also come with audio tracks that describe the action on the screen for blind people, or they can boost the audio levels of the movie for those who are hard of hearing. "

fparrzy182

8. Must be immensely satisfying.

I'm hard of hearing (deaf through my left ear), and whenever I meet new people or when I'm new somewhere like school, I don't immediately inform people about my hearing. Then, when they start talking to me or asking questions and I don't hear them, they often get upset/mad and say "What are you? Deaf?" And then I answer "Yes."
You should see their faces once they realize I'm not joking.

MadSmylex

7. Scars tell stories.

I have what they call an "invisible disability" (it's not visually obvious right away.) I've had a lot of surgeries to correct various things wrong with my body, though, and I sometimes worry what people will say when I'm at the beach or the pool.

Usually some little kid will ask me or point me out to their parents, and I try to come up with an excellent reason for the scars. A bear attack, a shark attack, a llama attack (that got some laughs), fighting off 27 knife-wielding criminals, etc.

thefirststoryteller

Same. I have a lotta surgical scars on my lower back/upper ass and a few of the scars poke up above my waist line. So when someone asks about the scars I like to tell them "They gave me a new butt because the one I had a crack in it." Never fails to get a few laughs.

kazu-sama

6. Hero powers.

I have a hearing disability, and I'm a middle school teacher. A lot of my students don't understand that "hearing disability" does not mean the same thing as "zero sound 100% completely stone deaf."

That means that occasionally, students will talk in my classroom about things they wouldn't tell a teacher. Then I can quietly take action on the things I hear, when it's needed. HOW did the assistant principal find out who took that embarrassing video of one girl and started passing it around the school? WHY did the bully's schedule get changed so she's no longer in the same class as her victim?

Magic, that's how, kids. MAGIC.

Digger-of-Tunnels

The hero we need.

Basith_Shinrah

Thank you for making your disability to your super hero power! I know that the bully victims definitely appreciate it!

Cizzubelle

5. Perfect.

Oh man my go to story for this is the first week of Infinity Wars in theaters.

So I have cystic fibrosis, long story short ended up with a port in my chest. It's a device used to deliver medicine, and it leaves a pretty sizeable bump there.

Okay so throughout the movie these two absolute jackholes just keep blabbing, won't shut up after multiple times asking. Probably should have gotten the concierge to kick them out now that I think about it, but hindsight is 20/20. So after the movie ends and everyone is walking out I walked up behind them and coughed really loud on them. They turned to me, I apologized and said "oh my God I'm so sorry. Make you sure you go sanitize right away." I pull down my shirt revealing the bump. "Technically I shouldn't even be out if the hospital, they still don't know what this is."

Brushed past them and left, so I have no idea how they reacted but I like to think I gave em a scare.

JarlMTG

4. The best lessons need only be taught once.

Favorite story about my s.o.b. uncle: He lost his leg above his knee years and years ago. Nowadays, the prosthetics are a bit more comfortable, and can use suction to stay in place - long time ago though, he'd have to wear a special belt, and buckle his prosthetic to it. It was really uncomfortable. If he knew he was going to be sitting for a while, he'd unbuckle his leg to relieve some of the pressure. He'd usually sit on the outside of the table/booth when going out, to stretch it out a bit.

He and my aunt were eating dinner at a diner in their small town, and there was an unruly small child running amok. Kid was running around, getting into things he shouldn't etc, and nobody did anything because: small town diner. My uncle was getting irritated. So, from his spot on the outside of the booth, he stretches his leg a little further than normal, and sure enough the kid takes the bait. He comes over and kicks my uncle's leg... Which flops like 90 degrees to the side, amid my uncle's (fake) screams of pain.

Kid didn't bother anyone else that night.

sagekitsune

3. Might as well.

I am pretty much legally blind in one eye and vision is going in the other, my glasses help a bit but not much. I always have people ask me how many fingers I'm holding up and I always say "I don't know, 23?" because I'm just tired of hearing people ask.

KOI-N

You should flip them off and say "how many fingers am I holding up"

Panzercats

2. Super humor.

When I was in college, I shared a few classes with a guy who was severely disabled. I don't remember what the nature of his disability was exactly, but he was confined to a wheelchair with very limited use of his body and had a caretaker who took notes for him. His outward appearance was no indication of his intelligence, wit, and humor though. The guy was sharp as a tack and funnier than hell. We became great buds that semester. Anyway, in one class we had a very old school professor that ran the class like an angry Catholic nun. In addition to this, the professor constantly treated my buddy as if he was mentally disabled just because he was in a wheelchair. But rather than taking direct offense to the professor's condescending attitude, my buddy saw it as an opportunity to flip the script and just played into it by randomly yelling out, "TIMMAY!!!" every 15 minutes or so. All. Semester. Long. It never didn't get a laugh, and the professor would be seething by the end of every class session with zero recourse.

NorCalShasta

Partied with a similar dude- a college grad but wheelchair bound because of childhood injury who had some vocalizations. But he could communicate better with a text to speech computer that looked like a keyboard (just before smart phone/tablet era). Dude would get hammered drunk (sipping drink via a straw) and then start screwing up his keyboard input so the computer voice would mess up. Imagine a computer voice like from Stephen Hawking but gone drunk and wonky. He was a hoot.

econobiker

1. We are what we are.

A paraplegic friend of mine always makes purposefully awkward handicapped jokes. It would work better if he didn't do it in a discord chat with new people, but the reactions he gets are pretty funny anyway.

JustBuckingham

I'm nearly legally blind/deaf and I do the same. It's always enjoyable to see people's reactions and then get the usual questions. Glad to know someone else does it as well!

Blindguypcs4

Have you ever been disabled?

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

Giphy

My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

Giphy

I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

Giphy

Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

Giphy

How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

Giphy

I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

Giphy

3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

Giphy

I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo