'Do You Think The Sun Is A Star?' Moments People Realized They Were Dating An Idiot.

It's often been said, "Tell me who you love and I can tell you who you are." If that's true, these people must be hopeless imbeciles.

This article is based on an AskReddit thread. Link on the last page.


1/46. When he joined the Klan while dating me. I'm not white.

-Cursethewind

2/46. She was out for a run one day and when she came back she said an animal charged at her, so she cut her run short. I asked her what it looked like, and she said, "like a cow, but brown." It was a cow.

-Indeedyoursway

3/46. When he told me that you regrow your virginity after six months without sex.

via GIPHY

-DCgirl1318

4/46. When he told me, quite seriously, about how people with enough willpower can survive by photosynthesis.

-SlytherEEn

5/46. He called lingerie "linguine". As in the pasta.

-Glitter-recession

6/46. He was getting his license renewed and they asked him if he wanted to be an organ donor. He said 'no'.

When I asked why he told me it was because he didn't want the government to come knocking for any of his organs when he still needed them. He really thought that becoming an organ donor meant that, at any time, his organs could be taken.

via GIPHY

-zeldawarriorprincess

7/46. When she told me that babies could only happen if there was love between the two people

-carefree_dude

8/46. Driving down the road and the moon is visible during the day...

Her: how is the moon out at the same time as the sun?

Me: sometimes that happens, it's not that uncommon.

Her: no they are the same thing so how can we see both at the same time?!

Me: ...The sun and the moon are 2 different things, are you serious?

Her: yea, not everyone went to college like you schoolboy.

Me: you learn this in like 2nd grade...

She was in her early 30s...

-jonthetherbon90

Keep reading on the next page!

9/46. She threw a butter knife at a lightbulb in a crowded restaurant because she didn't like that it was flickering.

-Migz968

10/46. We were making Kool-Aid. Her:"How much sugar does it need?" Me: "It says on the package." "Just tell me." "One cup." "Okay... there's only a 1/3 cup here. Where is the whole cup?" "I don't know, just use the 1/3 cup." "Well, how many scoops do I do, then?" "It's one THIRD of a cup..." "I don't know fractions, just tell me." "I'm not... going to tell you. Figure it out. It's one THIRD of a cup. How many do you think it would be?" "I don't know Logan, just tell me!" ".....Three."

She was 20 years old at the time. I'll never forget that.

-averagesizedhatlogan

11/46. My girlfriend at the time genuinely believed that it was the headless horseman that ran though Lexington and Concord shouting "The British are coming, the British are coming!"

via GIPHY

-DrCool2016

12/46. Said her dad told her the giant wind farm fans in central California were to cool things down and she believed him.

Me: when you were a kid?

Her: no, last year.

-pm_me_good_news

13/46. Boyfriend took me to a fancy restaurant and we ordered wine. When the waiter came back, he gave my BF the cork to sniff. My BF grabbed it, sucked on it and licked it like a lollipop, all excited. The waiter looked uncomfortable, poured our glasses and slunk away.

-SegoLil

14/46. "Is that an albino duck?" "That's a dove."

via GIPHY

-RonyTheTurtle

15/46. He decided that he didn't want to poop while staying with me in student halls, so he didn't poop for ten days and seriously messed up his digestive system.

-CharlieSabina

Keep reading on the next page!

16/46. He wrote a love poem about my brown eyes. My eyes are green.

-hofnowhere

17/46. When he answered his cell phone in the movie theater and proceeded to have a loud conversation with his dealer during the movie.

-j0m1n1n

18/46. We were out having a few drinks, he said his tooth hurt, he just pulled it straight out of his mouth. I guess it was rotten anyway but, who does that kind of thing?

via GIPHY

-package_of_crips

19/46. He actually believed that if you had money, it was because God thought you were a good person, and only bad people were poor. The truly ironic part of this was that he couldn't get enough work to make a living, and had to ask his wealthy father for handouts all the time.

I was trying to carefully manage the breakup since we worked down the hall from each other, when he decided to dump me because he didn't like who I voted for in the election.

-PerilousAll

20/46. I found it charming and endearing that he did funny voices, made funny idiosyncratic jokes, and occasionally called me "m'lady".

Then I saw Anchorman.

Oh my god he literally was doing a 24/7 Ron Burgundy impression, eclipsing his entire personality. I'm not sure I ever really met him.

-quiteatoughlass

21/46. When she told me that she'd never been to France. I knew for a fact she went to Disneyland Paris every year.

"Paris isn't in France!" She insisted. We live in the UK by the way. You can literally take a train to France.

-endlesshills

22/46. She called to RSVP to a surprise party. She called the person who the party was being thrown for. When I asked her how she didn't know not to do that, she said the invitation wasn't clear.

I looked at the invitation and it said in big letters "SHHHH! It's a surprise party!"

-billigesbush

Keep reading on the next page!

23/46. He shot himself in the leg twice while cleaning his gun. Two weeks apart.

via GIPHY

-technocassandra

24/46. She thought flashing red lights on the road (as in traffic lights blinking red) meant you were entering a different time zone instead of indicating a stop sign.

-Brandito23

25/46. Was on a hike and was following a trail I had read up on online. We get to a fork and I say, "Okay now we need to go north". She says, "Haven't we been this whole time?"

Confused, I look at her and ask why she says that. She replies, "North is the direction in front of you, right?"

-Tork260

26/46. My girlfriend and her best friend got in an argument whether or not Canada was a language or a state.

-KappaSigSavage

27/46. He insisted that women cannot be doctors, only nurses (and vice versa.) He said that the two are the exact same thing except one is male and one is female.

-Tri_Sara_Tops

28/46. He thought the Nation of Islam was a place. When I explained to him this was not the case, he responded with, "agree to disagree."

-LeighDief

29/46. My ex was the oldest of 6. We had been dating for about a week, both 20. I commented, "you have wide hips for a man." He replies, "it's from carrying children."

I was totally baffled til his youngest brother walked in and he picked him up and held him to the side, rested on his hip, as you do with toddlers. I had to sit him down and explain that you don't get wide hips from literally carrying children around.

-hissyhissy

30/46. My ex thought that whenever I missed his call, the phone would still be ringing even after it went to voice mail. I got at least three voice mails a week that consisted of silence and the odd annoyed, impatient sigh.

-vyvyan86

Keep reading on the next page!

31/46. I had a girlfriend in my younger days who never looked both ways before crossing the street. I asked her why, and she said she would just sue the driver if she got hit and be set for life. I asked her how she planned to do that if she was splattered all over the street, and she said she'd roll over and memorize the license plate easily.

-lovely2017

32/46. She got me MadLibs and when it was her turn to do a noun she asked: "What is a noun?" I said, "It's a person, place, or thing."

There was a long silence as she thought. It went on for so long that I thought she must be thinking of the best noun I had ever heard. Then she said, "place."

-tedave123

33/46. We were watching a wildlife documentary, and my girlfriend asked me if bears laid eggs.

via GIPHY

-BobSleigh88

34/46. "Oh wow, Halloween is on Friday the 13th this year!" No. No, it's not.

-carbonlandrover

35/46. She "surprised" me by inviting her mother on our 16-day Hawaiian cruise.

-gawdybaubles

36/46. My ex gf is 5'4" and petite. She wouldn't eat all day, come home, and have 3 martinis and black out. She would then claim she was allergic to alcohol.

-gnrc

37/46. She tried to argue that we could get to the moon easier if we just built a spaceship that could go underwater, and flew it through the ocean to the moon during the day time rather than straight up.

-Blindjakefromstate

38/46. "I'll just go get tested if I feel sick. If they find a rabie then I'll get some medicine." He had been bitten by a squirrel, also directly related to him being an idiot.

-effieokay

Keep reading on the next page!

39/46. She thought that the past was black and white. She was serious.

-babybopp

40/46. We were sitting there stargazing having a good time and all when she blurts out: "do you think that the sun is a star?"

-Nicklebrick

41/46. We were playing with my dog when my boyfriend remarked "I thought he was fixed." I said, yes, of course he's fixed. "But he still has a penis." He thought fixing a dog meant removing its penis.

-UNKLEUNKLE

42/46. When she stated that an onion turns black after being cut because "it's absorbing toxins from the air."

-vag-rash

43/46. We went a grill house and she was amazed to learn steak came from cows. Also the fact bacon and gammon came from the same animal confused her.

-Devon-Day

44/46. I cant get my girlfriend to understand that celsius and fahrenheit are the same thing. She thinks celsius is cold and fahrenheit is hot.

-Boscoethadog

45/46. She claimed to have a doctorate in 'emotionology'. A doctorate.

via GIPHY

I asked her what her masters thesis was on and what her dissertation included. She looked at me like I was eating doorknobs.

She insisted it was a legitimate study and got angry if her friends didn't call her 'doctor' when introducing her. She also kept a ledger of "unacceptable words and colours" that were not to be used in her presence. Her field of expertise proved that these words and colours oozed negativity and bred evil.

One of the worst parts was meeting this whack job gaggle of friends she had that believed all this stuff. It's like the stupid could be contracted and spread.

-sacrosanctt

46/46. She said on multiple occasions that she wished she had been born in 2030 so she could live to see the year 3000.

That's 970 years folks.

-DarwinDanger

(Source)

Whoops. That snip was just a hair too far....

Your first bad haircut probably made you want to die a little when you looked in the mirror. Imagine how the person cutting your hair must have felt. Although, maybe they didn't care at all, as evidenced by the bs excuse they gave you when you finished in the barber chair.

Keep reading... Show less