IRL

Doctors Share Their "How Is This Person Still Alive" Moments

The human body is weird, and amazing, and surprisingly good at surviving. Many doctors have an "I don't understand how you're alive right now, by you appear to be fine" story or two.


Reddit user u/TheXypris asked:

"Doctors of Reddit, what made you say 'how the f*ck is this person still alive?'"

Be aware, a few of these are pretty graphic.

Earthquakes Are Terrifying

Both of the stories I'm sharing occurred during the Nepal Earthquake of 2015.

First was an infant who had a roof fall on his head. He was trapped for 10 min. before being rescued and took another 3 hours to drive him to the nearest functioning hospital (this happened in a remote area and he was brought in a taxi). His face was so swollen that it was probably more than double its original size. The top of his head was completely flat (like a dinner plate) and he had raccoon eyes. But somehow he was showing no danger signs and his vitals were normal. A CT scan miraculously showed that there was no brain damage or even an actual fracture, he had something called a Ping- pong fracture. The child recovered pretty well and was discharged in a couple of days.

Second was a lady who was roughly 8 months pregnant. Again, the roof of her house fell on her, sadly on her belly. From what she said, she was stuck under the rubble for about 4 hours, and it took a further 2-3 days to airlift her to the hospital. An x-ray of the pelvis was done which showed that it was broken badly in at least 4 places. But miraculously enough, there was very minimal bleeding. Someone with pelvis fracture can bleed to death easily, and she had multiple fractures in her pelvis.

Nobody can say what happened for sure, but it was thought that probably the weight of the rubble was so strong that it actually helped stop the bleeding due to the applied pressure. More miraculously enough, the baby showed no signs of injury or even stress, even though the roof fell straight on her belly, and was delivered healthily via C- section.

nostupidname

This Guy Is Hardcore

I helped take care of an older dude who had one leg amputated, and had broken his other leg so he was seeing us because of that. He was on oxygen and not being very compliant with using his wheelchair. We were talking with him and he was getting really argumentative.

"How am I supposed to chop wood in a wheelchair?" Was what he kept demanding. When asked how he was chopping wood with one leg in the first place he responded that he'd crawl into the woods and hop up to chop the wood. This was even more concerning.

When the doctor asked how he was carrying his axe, oxygen, and the wood he chopped he looked him straight in the eye and said: "I carry 'em on my back."

Not sure if he was serious, but he was pretty dang grizzled and looked like he may have been crawling through the woods.

Cipher1414

So i'm imagining in my head a one legged bear of a lumberjack with a face full of hair crawling through the woods in winter with eyes looking up and ahead, thirsting at the oak a hundred metres from his cabin.

takes him an hour to crawl with 15kg of life support equipment and a tree killing axe.
does a one arm push-jump from prone and fells the oak twice his width with one stroke.
ties all of the 50m oak to his waist with a chain and crawls back.

takes him half an hour.

SketchBoardard

Wear Your Seatbelt! 

Witnessed a sedan with a trailer flip four times at ~75mph on a highway into a ditch right in front of me. A 12yo wasn't wearing a seatbelt and was thrown from the vehicle through an open window. He had a superficial laceration of his leg, and was in shock, but otherwise apparently unharmed. We did a quick trauma evaluation of the family, everyone seemed okay, and applied pressure to the kid's bleeding leg until EMS got there. When we were running to the wrecked car as the dust was settling, I was sure we were just going to see disembodied pieces of that kid everywhere, but he was really, really lucky. Wear seatbelts, folks. Everyone who remained buckled in the car didn't even have a scratch.

LatrodectusGeometric

Don't Ignore Medical Advice

Older woman called 911 for chest pain. Her vital signs were sh*t and she had "the look" that anyone who's ever seen a patient about to die will recognize instantly. Her EKG suggested multiple blockages in her coronary arteries, and we had to put her on a ventilator shortly after she got to the ER because she deteriorated so quickly. Cath lab confirmed the EKG findings: complete blockage of one artery and 99% blockage of two other major arteries. Unfortunately it was too extensive to resolve with PCI, so the only option was to fly her to the university hospital in the city for an emergent triple bypass. It turned out that she'd had multiple episodes like this (but not quite as severe) over the last 6 months and had refused bypass surgery not once, not twice, but *three* times in favor of a Mediterranean diet. Well at this point she didn't have much say anymore and family agreed, so off to the OR she went. I took care of her again about 4 months later and she actually seemed to have made a remarkable recovery.

ggrnw27

She triple bypassed a triple bypass

getoutthebelltower

That Is...Scarily Impressive. 

A few years back my wife was doing clinicals at the local hospital while still in school and a guy came in with a blood sugar of 9...NINE!!! And he was totally conscious/lucid. As a type one diabetic myself I almost fell off my chair when I heard that.

sakuseo

Whenever I see the American blood glucose values I just have to trust people on what constitutes high/low. In this thread I've seen people mention blood sugars of 9 all the way up to 1000, so I decided to look it up. That's 0.2 and 56 respectively on the Canadian/UK blood glucose scale.

Which is absolutely goddam ridiculous.

Comedian42

It Was His Lucky Day

Best one I saw was a guy shot in the back, half an inch from his spine, he was totally stable sitting and talking to us. We saw the bullet sitting in between his svc, aorta and esophogus with injuries to no vital structure. Walked out a day or two later with just a band aid. Literal millimeter either way and he would've been a corpse, paralysed or needed major reconstructive surgery.

Edit: to be clear we saw the bullet on CT scan

dang025

At Least He Learned His Lesson

I'm still fairly new in my training but one of the first crazy recoveries I've seen:

College kid was out drinking with his buddies and had a bit too much to drink. He presumably aspirates some of his vomit and it causes this massive inflammatory reaction in his lungs called ARDS. He goes from perfectly healthy to being on death's door within an hour. He gets transferred to our ICU in the middle of the night, completely unstable, on a ventilator, maxed out on 5 pressors (life support meds to keep your blood pressure up) and is being considered for ECMO (edit: basically like a temporary machine bypass of your heart and lungs, used as a last ditch effort to save someone). His parents are on a last minute flight from out of state with no bags packed to get to their son. Our team is concerned that he won't make it through the night, and brace his friends for the worst.
The treatment for ARDS is actually something called proning, which is when you literally just flip the patient onto their stomach. And miraculously... 2 hours later he is off all pressors, maintaining his own blood pressure, and—while very sedated from all the meds—he's able to respond to voice and shake and nod his head to questions. He makes a full recovery 4 days later! (and vowing to stay away from alcohol for awhile)
Edit: to translate the medicalese a bit..
ARDS = Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome
ECMO = Extracorporeal Membrane Oxygenation
ICU = Intensive Care Unit

poofseal

He Really Hates That Guy

Two that stick out.

Guy gets shot in the abdomen, drops to his knees; shooter puts one through the top of his head near his forehead. Bullet exits through his jaw. He wouldn't stop complaining...about how much he hates that the guy who shot him.

Young girl driving a car gets t-boned on the passenger side by an Altima going at least 70mph. Her car looks like it was hit by an IED so we assumed she was deceased upon arrival when the other crew on scene said our focus was extricating the people in the Altima. Girl driving was completely unhurt. Buy a Volvo.

PotentialRegularGuy

All He Needed Was The Right Motivation

One of my prior patients is a roofer who lived a very full life of alcohol, women, and drugs. He was infected with HIV, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, and was cirrhotic and didn't really care about his health at all. He was ghostly thin and weighed 110 lbs on a 6 foot frame, which included 20 lbs of ascites in his abdomen.

He was angry and didn't listen to anyone, refusing therapy most of the time. I met him first in the ICU, where he had full blown AIDS, end-stage liver disease, hepatorenal syndrome, unexplained lymph nodes all over his body, variceal hemorrhage, Kaposi's sarcoma, and spontaneous bacterial peritonitis. Prognosis of in hospital death was >90% even with therapy.

I was involved in his care for about 2 weeks and again he refused every therapy that his primary physicians suggested. I was surprised he lasted the 2 weeks. Finally, he was so fed up of the noisiness in the ICU that he requested transfer to palliative care, and was eventually sent to a hospice for patients with advanced HIV to live out his remaining few days.

One year later I get a call from the hospice requesting a follow-up appointment for him. I was shocked that he was still alive and asked if I could talk to him. He was all better. Turns out he had the hots for his nurse in the hospice and did everything she asked in order to please her -- including taking his medications for the first time! She had slowly nursed him back to health, convinced him to restart HIV meds, put him on a low salt diet for his liver disease, and then eventually got him up and mobile.

He spent another six months in a rehabilitation facility, then went back to work. He saw me in follow up for a while as we treated his hepatitis C, then his cirrhosis shockingly improved. After a couple of years he moved away to another place to start a construction company and became rather successful financially, and remains abstinent on his former vices.

He's the only person that I've seen come back from death.

Ralph_Malfredsson

Life Is Definitely Weird

A guy I know with cancer who smokes 2 packs a day and drinks a fifth of Fireball every day. He lives in a trailer so dirty there is a half inch of dirt according to his wife's mother. He recovered from surgeries in that trailer. Eventually we got word he was quitting chemo and was just going to accept death.

5 years ago he was given 2 months to live. He is now completely cancer free.

Life is just weird sometimes.

stay_fr0sty

How Did He Not Notice? 

As a student had a young guy come in who self inflicted a 22 to the inside of his mouth and passed out. Awoke the next morning, didn't recall the night prior, went to work. Two hours into work he says he's not feeling right and starts acting odd. Co-workers call EMS. They take him in and the ED is working him up and in the process notices a mix of clear fluid and blood in the back of his mouth. They call ENT and get a CT Head. Shows 11 or so bullet fragments throughout his noggin'. The guy was acting by that time completely unphased. I was very phased.

0ran0s

That's A Pretty Big Mistake

Kind of a retelling but...One time a cadaver on which I was performing an autopsy had a lung which was flipped upside-down. When I tried to flip it to the proper position, *bloop*. It flipped right back to upside-down.

After some due diligence we realized the lung was a transplant, and the surgeons who performed the transplant had attached the organ incorrectly. The lung had been fighting to be upside-down its whole life in this other man. After 15 or so years, the man eventually moved in a way that allowed it to flip over, resulting in his death.

Not really a "how the f*ck is this person still alive," but more of a "how the f*ck did this person live this long with this condition."

CaptainReginaldLong

Vacation From Hell

Med Student here. My most memorable patient was a particularly pleasant middle-aged man who was flown back to my hospital in the Midwest after suffering a 6 story fall from a hotel balcony in the Caribbean.

The story goes this poor fella just arrived at his hotel planning to spend a week in paradise. Immediately upon arriving to his hotel, he stepped out on his balcony to watch the sunset and leaned on the railing only to have it collapse underneath him. He fell 6 stories straight down and suffered bilateral open tibial pilon fractures (which are particularly high energy and difficult to heal).

The poor guy apparently fell into a locked backyard and his wife and kids had to listen to him screaming in pain and bleeding for over 2 hours before they could get the fire department to break down the gate. He was taken to the hospital on the island he was staying where he was stabilized and they recommended he have both legs amputated. He begged to be shipped back to the United States, and apparently, the government got involved and flew him to Miami where he was externally fixated and transfused several times. I guess he had some internal trauma as well. About a week later, he was shipped up to the midwest to my hospital. Literally blew my mind the sh*t this poor guy went through just because he wanted to enjoy a vacation.

Sadly, I think that he ended up losing one of his legs anyways because his wounds wouldn't heal and he ended up with osteomyelitis (bone infection).

ibestalkinyo

Nine?!

A few years back my wife was doing clinicals at the local hospital while still in school and a guy came in with a blood sugar of 9...NINE!!! And he was totally conscious/lucid. As a type one diabetic myself I almost fell off my chair when I heard that.

sakuseo

A Series Of Fortunate Events

Not a doctor, but the person everyone asked "How the f*ck is this person still alive?" to.

Got my drivers license late, at age of 25, 2 months later I'm driving in to town when I lose control of the car (front right tire popped for no apperant reason), it swirls out on the right side of the road, I pull back and when I get back on the road the car flips sideways and goes straight out to the trees, I was doing 90km/h (60mph ish), knocked down a couple of smaller trees and ended up wrapped around a larger one.

So many things went right for me to not die.

The drivers seat gave in to the pressure and folded back, so when the roof got pushed in from the tree it didn't crush me.

The angle I was in due to the seat giving in meant that there was about half an inch room between my head and ceiling of the car.

Survival instincts kicked in and I managed to squeeze out of a broken window without too much damage, walked out to the side of the road were a car came driving back, he was driving the direction I was but was ahead of me, saw smoke from the dry dirt where I crashed, turned around and went to help me.

He called 911, 2nd car to show up was a nurse on her way to work at the hospital, so she had a first aid kit and patched my 2 cuts up.

Next thing I know firefighters and police and ambulance show up and noone believes I'm the driver of the car wrapped around that tree, because that person should be dead.

I knew 2 of the firefighters personally and they told me later on that they saw it was my car and were alreapy prepared to find my dead body in the car when they arrived, and I sat there on the ground and said "Hey Kevin and Marcus", the relief in their face when they saw me was quite fun.
Got in the ambulance, they pumped morphine in me, I joked all the way to the hospital and the doctor asked if he could share my story with people because I was a f*cking legend.

Pics: https://imgur.com/gallery/axaPv (includes one where I'm high on morphine).

Car: VW model 2

Reason for morphine: Procautionary due to me being in shock and actually my leg did hurt, they were also worried about spinal injuries.

Thanks for all the kind words as well!

norielucas

Not A Pleasant Person

ER nurse here. The one that immediately stands out in my mind was the diabetic who was, of course, noncompliant with her regimen, and came in feeling like crap because her blood sugar was high.

How high? Try just below 1300.
For reference, diabetics are supposed to manage their blood levels and keep them no higher than 180, and even that's kind of pushing at the limit.
By all accounts, this girl should have been in a diabetic coma. At best. Yet SOMEHOW she was conscious, walking, talking, and arguing with us every step of the way. Despite the fact that her pee was almost pure sugar (and resembled crystallized honey), it was a 20-minute argument to get her to stop drinking her diet mountain dew (she firmly believed that the fact that it was diet meant it was fine). Her blood was syrup: how we got enough to run blood tests was a minor miracle in itself. She kept complaining and asking for snacks and junk and just... she was not a pleasant person at all.

Obviously, she gets to go up to the ICU. Twenty minutes after we get her up and transferred she walks out of the hospital. Why? She was mad that they only would give her water to drink. Priorities, I guess?

Haven't seen her since, but I still wonder about her from time to time...

-RooshunVodka

*Shudder*

Had a lady WALK IN to the hospital with her face pointed at her chest.

Her C1 vertebra had somehow fallen off C2, with her spinal cord delicately draped across the odontoid process. No damage to anything. Repaired with slow traction and a halo for a little while. Still baffles my mind 5 years later.

EDIT: lots of questions!

-This little old lady said it happened slowly over time, but when she woke up from her nap that evening, something felt different. No traumatic injury reported.

-She had been side-stepping for almost a year.

-i haven't had time to draw a diagram yet, but I'll come back in a little while when i have a chance to doodle one!

Behold! My attempt at a diagram of how she looked. I'm afraid it doesn't make the situation any less scary.

margapantalones

Quietly Call The Ambulance

My dad. Walked a mile to see a friend and tried to walk up the stairs.

Couldn't get up one step. Walked back one mile to his office, looked up who his doctor was, since he hadn't seen one in 20 years, and drove there. No appointment. Dr. hooks him up to an EKG, but it's fine. Tells him there's a cardiologist next door, it's the end of the day, they'll see him. Just in case.

They hook him up to a blood pressure monitor while he's on a treadmill. The monitor is behind him, he can't see it. He starts walking. They set a countdown timer for 3 minutes, and about 30 seconds in, one of the nurses steps out of the room. My dad is watching the timer and it counts down to zero. He feels fine and figures he's going home but the door opens and two ambulance attendants are wheeling in a gurney.

While he was on the treadmill, his blood pressure dropped to zero, then restarted, then dropped to zero again. The nurse who stepped out of the room dialed 911. They let him finish because they figured as soon as he stopped, the heart attack would start in earnest. Quadruple bypass later and he lived, but note, he said he never felt the same. A bypass is not a panacea.

Edit: Panacea <pan uh SEE uh> solution to all problems. (Apparently, not a commonly used word.)

grewapair

How Were You Still Lucid? 

I'm not a doctor but I was diagnosed with Addison's at age 13 or so. Was just generally feeling lethargic, vomiting, dizzy. Mom calls the hospital with symptoms and they said if I had all three at the same time to come in to be safe

Orderly or whatever checks my pulse in the lobby. 30/15, he laughs "well this one's broken" and gets another machine. 30/15 "wait... What?!" Calls a doctor, they double check it and RUN me to the ER for fluids.

Again, not a doctor here, but apparently that's not even high enough to have a pulse. They had no clue how I was walking let alone concious, but saw the numbers and after realizing it was accurate they freaked the hell out. And of course that freaked my mom out. Them telling my mom 30/15 is the BP of a dead person did not help. And then they said it's either auto immune or cancer.

My immune system apparently ate my adrenal glands, now I'm on meds for life, lucky me.
On the bright side though I never really have to worry about high blood pressure.

moorea702

Three Day Rule

Followed this patient with my attending. 19/20 year old african american with sickle cell anemia. Stroked out and was in a coma. Intubated and put on a ventillator because they couldn't breathe on their own. MRI was bad, looked like somebody emptied out a shotgun shell and scattered the pellets around the brain. Still haven't seen another MRI like that one.

With the brain, there is a essentially a 3 day rule. If you have little change 3 days after a neurological injury, the chances of meaningful recovery are slim. Week one goes by, daily spontaneous breathing trials (test to see if they can breathe on their own) failed, so the patient is kept tubed/vented. Second week goes by and we hit Thursday with no change in status.

My attending and I are reviewing after we see the patient, and we make the decision that the next morning we are going to encourage the family to withdraw care. Friday morning, we go in. Spontaneous breathing trial has failed but the patient's eyes are open and following us around the room. Their eyes hadn't been open over those prior two weeks. My attending and I were absolutely shocked. We were convinced this kid was essentially brain dead but now we've been proven wrong. Still, we didn't hold out much hope for more improvement. I mean, two weeks and they can open their eyes and follow people around the room? You can say we're pessimistic about chance of recovery but experience does speak for a lot in these situations. It's Saturday or Sunday, we can safely remove the breathing tube. Another week goes by, the patient is able to move their head around and starts to move the arms/legs. Another week goes by, they are able to sit at the edge of the bed.

During this time of rapid improvement, they still lacked fine motor skill and could not produce coherent speech. The patient would get frustrated, tearful, and despondent. In discussion with the family, I make the comment to my attending in private that the patient appears depressed. My attending brings up the likelihood of depression and mom just snubs that. "X has nothing to be depressed about! X is alive!" We argue our case for depression with her, "A month ago, X could walk, talk, and eat without assistance. X cannot do any of those things now. X's life won't ever be the same. X has every reason to be depressed." She was still in denial about the prospect of her child being depressed in that situation.

The patient was discharged to rehab a few days after that conversation, and I don't know what happened to them after that. That case really is one of those cases that qualifies as a "miracle" to me. I don't believe in a higher power but that was a very significant and completely unexpected recovery. Everybody involved in the care of that patient was sure that the patient was going to die, and we were all proven wrong. It's a nice reminder that there are outliers.

Typhun

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

Giphy

My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

Giphy

I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

Giphy

Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

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How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

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I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

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3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

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I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

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I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo