Embarrassed People Share Their Cringiest "I Thought I Was Alone" Moments
Always look around! Those moments that keep you up at night are even more embarrassing if someone else saw them.
Redditors share that one time they saw someone do something that was clearly not for their eyes. Some stories are even from the other end, where people accidentally saw them do something embarrassing.
Either way, get ready to cringe.
Source at the end of the article. Comments edited for clarity.
I once saw a girl holding an ice cream cone in one hand, and her phone in the other lick the screen of her phone. When we made eye contact and she realized I'd seen it happen, she looked like she was going to die.
When I was a child, maybe 7 or 8 years old, time spent in the bathroom was an opportunity to read books or just have a moment of quiet contemplation. One time during one of my extended toilet sessions, I got the bright idea to use the toilet paper to make a Ninja Turtles-style mask for myself.
No sooner had l torn the eye holes and wrapped it around my head, the door opens and my dad walks in. We make awkward eye contact for what felt like minutes, and then without a word being spoken, he slowly backed out and closed the door. I don't know why it was so embarrassing to me, but I still remember the whole scene quite clearly and that was 20+ years ago.
I was walking downtown with a buddy of mine, just casually chatting, and my friend stopped and started adjusting his hair, using his reflection in the tinted window of the glasses store we were right beside. As soon as I looked up at him, from my angle, I could clearly see that the front counter of the glasses store was like 6 feet behind the window where my buddy was looking.
It was pointed directly at him, and both of the girls at the counter were just staring, perplexed looks and all, while he appeared to stare directly back at them, still adjusting and checking himself out.
So I obviously just watched and let this go on for another ~30 seconds until my friend started to walk away, at which point I told him to look through the window, so he immediately saw the two girls he'd been staring at for the last minute.
They both waved and laughed and my friend awkwardly waved back and then looked straight at his shoes and briskly walked away.
I used to deliver newspapers. One Sunday I got the papers extremely early, and delivered to a Sunday only customer at around 3 a.m. When it's this early, I always lift my paper up and smile so customers don't think I'm there to rob them.
As I apporached this house, I noticed movement inside. Cue the smile and raised newspaper as I witnessed a shirtless, middle aged man with a large potbelly rubbing his belly. Vigorously. I approach, smile and paper in hand. He notices me and runs out of the room. I'm thinking "No dude. Don't. Do your thing. I'm just a paperboy. Don't let me dictate how you live your life."
He canceled the next week.
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We had a house-guest staying with us for several days.
On the second day I came home early from work and found him going through my S/O's drawers.
He had no idea he was being observed. But later I took him aside and told him that it was time for him to go - that we needed our privacy.
I saw a guy do a huge fart on his chair, then quick as a flash turn around, bend down, stick his nose to the chair seat, and sniff frantically.
I use Duolingo to practice my Spanish while waiting for the bus each morning. When I'm alone, I like to say each question and answer aloud to practice my pronunciation as well.
One day as I waited for the bus a group of people gathered behind me without me noticing. I had headphones on and practiced each sentence out loud as I worked through my day's Spanish activities. When the bus finally came and I pulled off my headphones, I realized there were 6 or 7 strangers behind me, all had been awkwardly listening to me speak Spanish to myself for 5 minutes.
I felt so embarrassed.
My wife is very lady-like and never tries to do anything rude. I look at her lovingly from across the house, but she doesn't notice. Then she proceeds to sumo wrestler squat and toot the biggest fart I've ever heard this side of the Mississippi.
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I wore a new dress at work with a really full skirt. I was in the bathroom all alone, and grabbed the sides of my skirt to swish it back and forth, and twirled, and swished, and twirled. Imagine a frumpy middle aged woman going full-on Disney Princess.
In walked the Deputy Superintendent. Instant mortification. I avoid her like the plague now.
The very first time my girlfriend ever came to my house we decided to watch Lord of the Rings. She had never seen it before and was excited to watch it. Anyway, she was laying down on my bed with legs pointed towards the ceilling and butt up against the wall. Kind of like an "L" shape. So during one of the tense scenes, I do the whole grab her sides and go "RAGHH!" thing.
She then proceeded to let the loudest and longest fart I'd ever heard anyone release. And because her butt was against the wall it reverberated and made it seem even louder.
I just burst out laughing for like 5 minutes straight. And she is so embarrassed she starts crying. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen. We're still together and have a 2 year old now.
I came back upstairs after leaving for work because I forgot my phone. My dogs thought I was gone for the day and didn't hear me come back up. Walk into living room and my youngest dog is laying on his back and my older dog is standing right in front of young dogs butt sniffing.
Not normal dog sniffing butt sniffs, deep, pronounced sniffing as if he was a sommelier trying to determine a wines country of origin. I laughed and both dogs looked at me in utter fear and embarrassment. Eyes were huge. You could see the shame in their eyes and one went to the couch and the other went to the bedroom.
Neither looked me in the eye when I got home that afternoon.
Was this odd guy in my school who'd spit onto his hands and wipe down his leg hair
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My sister had requested a cake from a specific shop that we'd never been to before, and mum went in to order it. The kitchen was visible from the front of the shop, and one of the workers was icing a cake. He licked the spatula and continued icing. Mum saw everything. She still ordered a cake from that shop, and we ate it.
I used to work in a grocery store in the photolab (back when developing film was still a thing). The photo lab was on the second level with all glass walls so I could see out over the entire store.
When it wasn't busy I would just sit there and watch the people in the aisle. You know all the things you do in an aisle when you're the only one there? I saw it. Pick your nose? Saw that. Pick your wedgie? Saw that too. Break out into dance? Yep.
One night I was sleeping next to my then-boyfriend and woke up because he moved. I noticed how he scratched his but with the hand he had been hugging me and proceeded to smell his fingers.
Then he put his arm around me again, his hand very close to my face. It had this...butt smell, you know what I'm talkin' about. Ugh.
I have a lovely elderly neighbor across the way who tends her garden almost daily. She is sweet as can be, and doesn't bother a fly. Our houses are pretty far apart, I'm not a good judge of distances but it's far enough that she feels concealed.
When I sit on my front porch, I can see her clear as day wherever she is in her yard, but she can't see me because of the arrangement of plants between us, and my slightly higher elevation.
She always, ALWAYS, adjusts herself, like overtly. She has a routine every time she stands up and moves, from kneeling on a planting cushion.
She stands up, pulls off her garden gloves, does a little wiggle shake, jams her entire hand down the back of her pants and evacuates a wedge, pulls her bra strap down where it rode up in the back, and moves down to a new spot to garden.
She repeats this maybe 25 times before she calls it a day. I sit outside and watch her and it delights the hell out of me.
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I was rubbing ice on my nipples, when my mom and grandpa happened to walk in.
When I was like 6 years old I saw my first make-out scene in a movie and didn't quite understand what they were doing and why.
I wanted to be an actress so bad when I was little so when the movie was over, I went to my room and reenacted the kissing scene with the wall. My grandpa walked by, I turned around in embarrassment because I heard someone walk by, and he just walked away with a weird look on his face.
Every summer my friends and I go to a waterpark. As we are adults, we often like to drink while we're at the waterpark.
So one summer we were sitting in the bar area that the waterpark at set up enjoying overpriced beer, there was a woman sitting at a picnic table just below the balcony of the bar. She slides back so that her rear end is hanging over the bench and just pees right there on the AstroTurf while still chatting with her friends.
She thought that no one had seen her and that she had gotten away with it, but we saw and thought it was absolutely disgusting.
I do freelance work at sports events. One time, between setup and the time the game started, I was standing at the top of a hill that leads up to the building. I looked around to make sure nobody was there, then I laid down and rolled down that hill. It was super steep, and it was awesome. I got up, brushed myself off, and went back inside to work.
Found out the next week that my boss had seen me, and had told everybody on the crew. Joy.
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At parties I would often dedicate myself a look in the mirror with a smile for a confidence boost, but this one time there was another guy doing the exact same thing, rising his eyebrow and smooching at himself.
There was a silent agreement not to talk about it. I still wonder if he remembers.
One day at work I had to fart really, really bad. This wasn't a silent fart I could crank out at my desk and blame on my geriatric coworker, I was legitimately afraid of blowing a hole in the back of my jeans. I got up and penguin-walked out the door, clenching my sphincter tight.
In the hall, I realized things were happening and I wouldn't make it into the restroom to let this monster out safely. I looked around and saw there was nobody in the hallway, so I sighed and let go the loudest, rumbliest fart I've ever produced. My coworkers probably heard it, but assumed it was a passing semi truck blowing it's horn. My stomach immediately felt better and my belt felt looser, that's how much gas was trapped in there. Satisfied, I turned around to see a woman from a different office standing in the hallway, still holding the door she came from. She wore a look of sheer horror, at once nauseated by my boorish behavior and disgusted with herself for feeling impressed at the magnitude of my flatulence.
"Hello!" I said, plastering a cheerful smile on my face, and I ran back to my desk and put my hoodie up.
I never saw her again.
I was waiting for an online interview for an internship program and while the interviewer was away I remembered I still had my septum piercing on, so obviously I pushed it inside my nose before anyone noticed. As I was adjusting the hidden piercing, the interviewer got online and saw me basically picking on my nose.
We had an awful 5 seconds of silence before she decided to proceed with the interview like nothing happened. I got the internship and now have to avoid her around the company because she always seems to remember and look at me funny.
Whenever my shift is quiet, I take a couple minutes break and go practise doing handstands on the nice grass by our building. I'm awful and can hold it for about 2 seconds before I flip over and land hard on my arse.
Last week the security guy offhandedly mentioned there's a CCTV camera that points almost exactly at that location. He's been watching me handstand for about 2 weeks.
When you're a kid most adults will tell you one thing or another is "cool" and "fun." Odds are you're too young to form any kind of opinion on the matter one way or another. You're a kid, right? You don't know what you're eating for breakfast. However, when you get older and form that larger worldview, you realize that yeah, maybe that one time when you were a kid actually wasn't fun.
These are those stories.