Employees Share The Most Unethical Thing They've Been Asked To Do At Work.

This article is based on the AskReddit question "What is the most unethical thing you've been asked to do at work?"

[Source can be found at the end of the article]

1/24. I worked grave yard at a gas station. The owner came in all drunk one night and we were chatting. We talked about benign things and I mentioned that just found out I was pregnant. The first thing he said was "Good then I wouldnt have to wear a condom."

I was shocked but didn't say anything. Then he commented on my necklace. It had tiny handcuffs on it. He asked if thats how I liked it, handcuffed. After all of that and me refusing his requests politely, he said "How much money do I have to get out of the ATM to have you tonight?" My response was he'd better go home to his wife and kids before I called them to let them know where he was. He threatened to fire me.

The next day my manager pulls me aside and asks what happened. Then he asked if I would just keep it to myself. I told him I would if he'd take me off graveyards. Thats how I got to keep my job and work better hours.


2/24. I'm in IT. I was asked by an executive to delete sexually harassing emails he sent to a receptionist from our Exchange server. He thought they were private and she was talking about suing. He sent this request over email. I sent it to our HR/investigative units.


3/24. We would get a lot of stray cat dumps, and as you can imagine it's very costly but we did it anyway because you can't run an animal hospital and not love animals. Cats don't have amex cards.

Some strays were not very adoptable, we had a senior cat on a lot of meds that suffered seizures, and weirdo wire haired chihuahua that took a very long time to warm up to people (she bit, but had no teeth) and a house cat that had feline aids. We had them for years...

The owner was bought out by a corporation. The first thing the corp wanted to do was bring all the strays, even the residents to the humane society.

We rioted. It took a year to get them out one by one without causing too much upset but I tell you this, none of them went to a shelter.


4/24. I worked at a well-known automotive garage chain. Quit my second day on the job because while I was doing an oil change my manager told me to take out the customer's air filter, rub it on the ground outside, and show it to the customer so they believe it needs to be changed.


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5/24. I was asked to ignore 15 open 50-gallon drums that were filled with used phosphoric acid sitting out back of a workshop next to a stream. In the middle of a city. Heavy rains and hurricane winds tipped a few over one night, boss dumped one out on the ground because he needed the drum. When I quit I called the city on their asses.


6/24. Used to work in event management and was asked to ignore fire safety violations on a regular basis.

One time, we hosted a funeral for a sort of local celebrity, with 3500 people in attendance, at a venue that was licensed for 300. It was frighteningly obvious that any sort of mass panic would be absolutely disastrous, so two of the staff members decided to go behind management's back and call the police.

Another time, the boss at a venue refused to repair a broken heater in the middle of winter, with outside temperatures well below freezing. He told staff to simply use the gas oven to heat.


7/24. I used to work in a senior home which claimed to be "independent living" for the extraordinarily wealthy old, and let me tell you that place was a prison. Kitchen was regularly below health standards and the place was a ripoff for residents.

Our bosses step-mom moved in and was unable to move, and liability wise we weren't able to help her with anything, however boss would make an exception calling it "above and beyond care". Fuck that if she fell we all knew our ass was on the line. Also illegal petty cash boxes and hundred of off the book expenses for the boss. My buddy use to keep the books there and he actually gave up on asking how much he was doing that was illegal. Be very careful about what senior homes you send your loved ones to.


8/24. Years ago, I was working at a local pharmacy. The owner had always seemed like a revenue above all else kind of guy, often ranting at us pharm techs about not making enough money. One day we had a patient come with with a prescription for an expensive HIV medicine. So, I try to fill the prescription but notice that our inventory for this rarely filled drug was expired. I was filling out the forms for new inventory when the owner saw what I was doing and told me to fill the prescription with the expired medicine. I tried to explain but he silenced me with a glare. I looked to my coworkers for support but they averted their glances. I ended up filling the prescription but to this day I feel ashamed for not taking a stand against it. I quit the job a week later.


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9/24. The amount of factory managers that want the light curtains, area scanners, and other safety features disabled on their machines in the name of speeding up production is pretty appalling. That shit's there for a reason, and if I disable it my ass is on the line if/when your employee gets killed.


10/24. I work in documentary production and part of my job is to do annotated scripts for big international networks I'm sure a lot of people here watch. This is where you'll have to give references for every single line in your script, to prove to the network what you've written is 100% factual.

There was a line written by the scriptwriter / director that was not quite factual, due to the way it was worded. I suggested the line be reworded but he was adamant to have it that way, so of course the network came back to us and said either change the line or find a more concrete source. I searched and searched and couldn't find a source backing it up because of course the line was not factual! The director asked me to make nice with one of the experts in the topic and have him sign off on the line as a fact. I refused to do it, but the director went ahead and did it himself and the line made it into the final film. I get very frustrated every time I see the film on TV and hear the line.


11/24. I worked at a medical practice and the doctor would just throw medical waste and bags of used needles in the dumpster out back instead of properly disposing of it. I still don't understand why, he could have lost his license and got slapped with thousands of dollars in fines. Just goes to show, even if you graduated from Columbia medical school, you can still be a total idiot.


12/24. I was tasked with hiring someone to replace me. I went through a load of bad CVs and came up with a really great one. More educated than anyone at the company, great experience in relevant fields and friendly over the phone. Pleased with myself, I told my boss who told me to lose his file. I asked why, he was great. Well his name was Mohhammed and she didn't want a muslim working for us.

As soon as I finally believed she wasn't joking I was disgusted, stood up and asked her why not. Apparently because muslims disrespect women and he'll undermine her authority, what little they had anyway. I've honestly never been angrier in my life. This educated, well-spoken lovely guy, who was born in London and had been living in the country twice as long as her, wouldn't get the job because of his name and nothing else.

I chewed her out, told her how illegal this was and made to leave. I said "I have absolutely no respect for you" and she slapped me hard. I'm not a tough guy but I didn't break eye contact during that full arm slap. Just laughed and walked out with my stuff.


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13/24. Background: busy fast food restaurant right at the end of lunch rush.

There was some bread sitting on the counter and my manager asked me to put it in the cabinet where it went. As I was putting it away, a customer came up to me and said, "Excuse me, but that bread was on the floor, and someone picked it up and set it on the counter." I apologized and moved it back out of the cabinet, and asked my manager about it just in case the customer was confused or something. Her response? "Oh, just wait for the customer to leave and put it away once they're gone." Nope nope nope. B


14/24. I was working a part time job at a local gas station chain a few months back to make some extra cash. Near the end of my shift on my third day, I had a very drunk man come up to the counter to buy two large cases of beer. I asked him for his ID and it was shredded, taped back together, and outdated. He kept insisting he was a regular and it would be fine. I asked my trainer/manager for help and she actually made me sell the alcohol to this guy. I tried to protest but she told me it would cost me my job if I didn't. I admit I made the sale, but I immediately went on break and called the GM and the person above them and they refused to do anything. So I finished the remaining hour and quit.


15/24. I was asked to blame a client team member for a mistake I made as there was a financial implication to my company if it was one of our team members who was at fault. Didn't consider doing that once though...went above the person who asked me and told him it was my fault and I think it actually worked to my benefit long-term.


16/24. I used to work in construction as a fire protection services inspector. I would say I was asked to ignore something dangerous about 1 out of every 3 sites. They also thought nothing of asking me to ignore it like someone else has before.

I'm talking about things like:

an entire sprinkler system not actually connected in a brand new building.

fire exits that don't exit.

alarm systems that evacuate the wrong floor when smoke is detected.

Apparently I was the arsehole for refusing to issue a fire safety certificate until errors like this were fixed, things that usually take about an hour to fix - which I was happy to wait and watch them do.


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17/24. You know those recycle bins at super markets?

The glass ones get rather dangerous because you are transporting usually 20-30 pounds of sharp broken glass to the back of a truck to go to a plant.

My former bosses expected me to do that by myself in pouring rain/snow where I have to lift the container practically over my head to dump in this bigger container.

All for minimum wage.


18/24. We had a flood at a car dealership I worked at. The Parts Department was below ground and under about a foot of water. My boss asked me to gather older inventory that he couldn't send back and soak it down with a hose. His plan was to add it to the insurance claim. It was about $15k. I refused as it was blatant insurance fraud.


19/24. I work in rental cars. When we get low on vehicles, sometimes we end up giving free upgrades to fill the reservation. But our managers still want us to sell upgrades. So during those times, we'll offer a vehicle you'll already get upgraded to for free at a price we basically make up based on how likely you are to say yes. That's right, I tell you it's $10 more per day, and if you say no, you get it for free.

The company likes money, so they intentionally allow too many reservations to come through. Sometimes, everybody shows up. So if you're on the last flight, your 2 months in advance reservation might not mean shit. That's when I'm asked to change the definition of reservation.

Walking up without a reservation, I make the price based on what I believe current supply and demand to be. Ask for a specific car that I happen to have? That'll cost more.

I feel like a shitty person every day, but it is one of the best paying jobs in my area for those without a degree. I already have a second job I work on the weekends, so every damn day is me trying not to scream back at customers that this is not who I want to be. I drink and smoke more and more every day, which doesn't help the finances either. But it's the only way I can cope with who I am during the day. Sorry for the heavy shit, I just get a lot of flak when people find out what I do for a living so I feel the need to tell people how I hate being a rental agent more than anybody in the world hates rental agents.


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20/24. I was the receptionist at a salon in high school in a small Texas town and I was asked to send away a black man who came in with his military uniform on. He had just gotten home from deployment and wanted to look nice before he surprised his wife. My boss asked me to turn him away because "she didn't cut black people hair." I refused to do so and quit soon after. I realized I didn't want to work for a racist jerk.


21/24. I, a front desk paperwork drone, have been asked on multiple occasions by licensed professionals in my business to "just write in" dated entries they missed on legal documents, or white out incorrect labels on invoices.

I am legally not allowed to do this!! Just 'cause the guy who was here before me said he did that for you doesn't mean he did AND doesn't mean it's acceptable.


22/24. The work functions of my section, where we were all salaried, was moved to our call center in the next state over where the workers were all hourly and had less benefits. Our management found jobs for us still within the company, and my team was still on good terms with the lower tier workers on the call center team.

Management put me into business analysis, and had a project for me to document all of our processes, in order to "increase efficiency". I worked on this for several months, until it was made clear in a meeting that "increasing efficiency" meant "reducing headcount". They had wanted me to find a way for them to take the three person hourly wage team, that had taken over for my four person team, and make it a two person hourly wage team. For "efficiency".

And then I left.


23/24. I was an adjunct professor at a community college. Two students completely plagiarized their final exam essays (a research paper with half a term's worth of work). My syllabus (backed by the department) stated that any and all plagiarism would result in a zero on an assignment. Student A accepted his zero and the overall grade dropped C to a D. Student B's grade dropped from A to B, and she returned that afternoon with her mother to speak to the dean. Later, I was called to a meeting with my department chair and the dean of faculty about Student B. They said she made questionable, potentially damaging comments about my character and insisted that I "make it go away" and let her resubmit the paper she had entirely copied from Wikipedia and crappy mommy blogs. That was seven years ago, and "make it go away" still rings in my ears. Was this the worst thing I've ever experienced? Of course not. But the fact that a college student could cheat, lie, and disparage me and get away with it all with the school's support makes me sick.


24/24. I worked at the movies and my managers asked me to clean dirty cups and tubs that they picked out of the trash, I declined and they took them home and did it themselves. Another time they asked me not to put concession orders into a computer and to do the math to give change back in my head so that they could make the safe even because a manager had been dipping into it.



[Image credit: pathdoc / Shutterstock.com]

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.