Employers And Employees Describe The Stupidest Thing One Did To Get Fired

Were you ever fired from a job? There, there - I believe you,  it wasn't your fault, you were unaware your actions were against company policy or you were caught in the crossfire as your coworkers acted out. 

Don't sweat it, chances are we'll all get let go once in our lifetime or better yet, be the boss with the responsibility of firing an employee. In any case, it isn't soo bad!

Shout out to the AskReddit user bosses and folks who were fired that shared their experiences below. Also, check out the source thread at the end of the article. 

One of the lifeguards was really hungover so he took a dump in the pool so we didn't have to open up for the day.


One of the security guys at my company was caught masturbating to porn, during the day, at the main reception desk, by a female PA. When we had his exit interview, we asked him why he did it, and he just said he felt really comfortable at work and got carried away while browsing Reddit. He'd been with the company for years. The best part was a colleague of mine who came back from vacation a week later and asked what happened to "Ron". Someone said "he was fired" and immediately the guy said "oh what, did he get caught jerking off?" but he didn't even know...he just got the vibe that Ron would be the type to jerk it at work.


Worked at a nightclub. One if the workers called in sick, but he was actually going to some party instead. Could you guess where they went after the party? Yes, to our nightclub. 


Manager at a delivery joint here, we had to let someone go because they decided to deliver pizzas in a stolen car.


We worked at a place that bought in used cell phones. She bought a cell phone from a guy and his Facebook was still open. She posted as the guy on his Facebook something like "I'm a big idiot". Guy came back to complain. She was fired.


I was managing a restaurant and did morning cash out (I checked all slips against the information in the computer). I noticed a new hire had really good tip averages the day before when I had been paying her out. The next day I was going through her slips and noticed a... discrepancy. Mainly that she had added a 1 in front of each tip and changed the total. How could I tell you ask? SHE USED DIFFERENT COLOR INK!

She was fired and we refunded the money... seriously, at least use the same color ink.


Had a guy get removed by the cops because the night before the IT guy found out he was downloading and hosting child porn on his work computer.


I had to fire this kid from a gas station I worked at after he asked me if I ever poked holes in the condoms with a push pin (as he proceeded to punch holes in condoms) I have no idea how long he was doing it for he worked there for over a year. 


Had to fire a girl for sleeping with a client... at a homeless shelter.


I worked in a fast food kiosk at an amusement park. We had a machine that cooked our burgers and toasted our buns: one of those ones where the food goes through on a conveyor belt.

One day, it was raining. While walking to the kiosk, a girl got wet. So, logically, she took her clothes off and put them through the machine so the heat could dry them. Her shirt caught on fire and set the kitchen sprinklers off. Her shoe forced the two toasting plates in the bun section far apart, creating a large repair bill.


Oh, I am so excited to share...

I had an 18-year-old employee go to Vegas for a long weekend. He had been late a few times before and had been warned that continued tardiness would result in disciplinary action.

So this Einstein is headed back from Vegas with his buddy after they both blew all their money and they realize that they don't have enough gas to make it back. He really doesn't want to be late. Already you are probably thinking of the multitude of options available to these two fine upstanding citizens. They could call saying they were in a jam, they could beg for $20 and see if anyone took pity on them, or they could steal some gas. They chose none of these options.

The two of them decided the best option was to take a handgun from their trunk, go into a gas station, hold it up, and demand exactly $20. They then drove 1 mile down the road to the next gas station where they filled up, paid, and were surrounded by the police as they were attempting to pull back onto the road.

When I first heard what happened I was sure the story must be exaggerated or wrong. I knew the kid wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I never dreamed anyone could do something so amazingly idiotic. It still boggles my mind.


I had an employee who was getting drunk on the job. I found him in a hallway, on the floor, wasted. He told me that he got bad headaches and the only cure was champagne on crushed ice.


Personal hygiene. You'd think people would have the common courtesy to shower before working with others. That person smelled like pure B.O with crap sprinkled on top.


One of my cooks asked for a smoke break. Told him to go for it.

He hadn't come back after 10 minutes so I looked out the window. He was smoking a crack pipe.

He came back in, started cooking some food, turned to me and said, "Djs9pd, I don't feel so good. I think I need to go home."

"Yeah Reggie, maybe it's because you just smoked crack by the dumpster. Get the hell out."

"Nah man, I can still prep."

I then spent 5 minutes explaining to him why I couldn't have a crack head using a giant cheese knife. To this day, I don't think he still understands why he was fired.

*Edit from work: Here's a picture of Reggie with identifying marks removed. We worked at this sort of pasta/Asian hybrid place that failed.

And like many have pointed out, drugs were used by the kitchen staff. My only rules were, don't do anything on the clock and don't do it in uniform. Reggie had screwed up a few times. I hated letting him go because he actually was a good line cook. The guy found another cook job pretty quickly.


I had a manager steal a bag that a customer had left on the counter. He completely denied it too, and I believed him. But the customer was sure he left it there and asked to see the video. I hadn't seen anything odd, so I showed it to him... he pointed out the bag, which we watched until the manager of 10+ years took the bag and left.



A guy who worked in the mailroom figured he could score a new laptop by ordering one in the CEO's name and forging a purchase order. Someone busted him before the laptop even arrived.


Had an employee call in sick a few busy retail Saturdays in a row. The pattern got my a bit suspicious, but I had no proof until..... a coworker, who wasn't all too happy working upfront short-handed again, came into my office cell phone in hand to show me selfie photos that the "sick" employee had just posted to Facebook of her sunbathing!


A dumb guy at work. Call him "Julio".

We worked clothing retail together. One night, closing shift, we are folding tons of clothing. Working our way from the outer tables inwards. Laughing and joking as we went.

Julio is a fun guy to be around. Sometimes he'll moonwalk, dance, sing. General clownery to make the shift enjoyable.

So that (fateful) night, we're almost done. About eight of us are working on the last two tables of clothing. Julio does his funny dance from there to there and ends up grinding with a coworker. She dances along and he poked her. With his boner. She noticed and angrily jumps away.

Julio was dry humping her ass, pitching a tent, and he decided to continue dancing around with pelvic thrusts in everyone's direction.

Needless to say, Julio and Julio Jr. were fired for sexual harassment.

Edit#1: The assumption that the girl he grounded against, is the one who complained. I don't know who did. He had a history of behavior like that. He was an outgoing guy who got away with lots of stuff. Always joked and played around. I guess someone finally got sick of him? After he was let go, I heard of other girls and customers express (to varying degrees) a sense of satisfaction. He'd been doing that for a while I guess.


I was an editor at my college's student daily newspaper.

We had a photography staff that would photograph events, sports games, etc. -- but they'd also sometimes have to do stupid stock photo type things for a feature or trend articles. (Think like, a photo of someone filling out a college application for a story on college admissions, or something.)

Anyway, we had two photographers who were apparently in a group of friends that had formed some kind of... snake... cult? (probably had another name that they used, but we called it the snake cult when we found out about it.)

The way we found out about it was that we started noticing this weird symbol in the background of some of our feature article photographs -- on a post-it-note in the background of a shot of some library books, or in the shape of the food in a photo of some dining hall food for an article about meal plans. Once we discovered it, we looked back and saw it had been going on for months.

So yeah, we had to fire some photographers for slipping cult symbols into our student paper on a regular basis.


I used to manage a hotel. You would not believe a number of female employees I had to constantly remind it was against company policy to have sex with the guests. One woman (she was about 20 years old), who I had to remind of this several times, was caught mid-act having sex with a guy that was about 65 and looked like Santa Claus. After she was fired one of her coworkers told me that this woman had a "Santa Claus fetish" and thought she'd never get the opportunity to act on it so it was worth possibly getting caught and fired. The girl was pretty decent looking too.


Wasn't the boss - sorry, but a coworker at the gas station job I had in high school got fired for just pulling scratch-off lottery tickets off the roll and scratching them off right on the counter. Directly in front of the security cameras, we all knew about. 


Putting a customers info in the system as, first name: don't care. Last name: smells like trash.


A friend of mine wasn't fired, but they stop letting her make the pizzas at the pizza place she worked at because she would configure the toppings into smiley face pictures and such. 


I had an employee once test out the fire-suppression system at a restaurant. Turns out, it worked great; and we had to shut down the restaurant for four hours in the middle of the day to clean it up.

He's not the dumbest. The dumbest was the guy that told him the suppression system didn't work so he pulled it. That guy thought we couldn't fire him since he didn't actually pull the pin.

That's right, he thought he could dare someone to do thousands of dollars in damage, and wouldn't get fired.

EDIT: A few people have said they're confused by the story. The guy 'testing out' the system wasn't legitimately testing - he just decided to pull the pin in the middle of the shift. The other guy told him the system was dead, and pulling the pin wouldn't do anything.


In high school, a guy I knew stole a giant Ronald McDonald made of legos from the McDonalds he worked at. It was one of those guess the number of pieces contests. He got away with it, but later on, he was busted for stealing boxes of hash brown wrappers with monopoly game pieces on them. Cops show up at his place to arrest him over the hash browns, lo and behold there sits Ronald in the middle of his room. 



Breaking up is hard to do.

And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.

People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.

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