I've seen better resumes in Kindergarten.
Get it together people! Looking for a job isn't a fun experience but it certainly isn't a difficult experience to do it right. In fact if you apply like a functioning adult you may discover the hunt will take less time. A resume is a basic -and I do mean BASIC- part of finding a job. It's job search 101. How in the world do you do this wrong? These people will tell you.
Redditor u/jamo8211 wanted employers to give some advice on what NOT to do by asking.... Employers of Reddit what's the worst CV you've ever seen?
We took attendance....Giphy
Their resume said they worked at a previous company that I also worked for. We had only about a dozen employees, and he wasn't one of them. Reasonable_Audience
I don't know them....
Unfortunately, the worst I've ever seen was submitted by my friend who I vouched for before he submitted his resume. Now, we were in all the same college classes, and mostly all the same project groups. So his resume should/could have contained all the same stuff my first resume did, plus what he did the 2 years out of college. I didn't have a whole lot of impressive stuff being just out of college when I applied, but it was well formatted and thought out.
He submitted a jumbled pile of crap. There was at least 4 different fonts, random missing bullets, no sort of organization, missing important dates and keywords. We did the hiring as a team, but my boss handed me his resume and asked "Is this your friend? Is this what he's capable of?" To be honest, I was shocked, because my friend did well in school and was pretty intelligent. All I could say was "He's better in person, and can figure stuff out even if he's never learned it before."
I got him the interview, and my boss wouldn't put him past the first interview. He said it was a horrible interview, and my friend showed no interest and couldn't elaborate on any of the bullet points on his resume whatsoever. It was absolutely shocking and embarrassing for me. CasuallyCompetitive
Maybe it's one long name?
I received a resume by email from "John." The email address had the name as "George" listed. The resume was for "Max." So three different names for one resume.
As if that wasn't bad enough, it was more of a story of his life in paragraph format than citing his skills. my_Favorite_post
You're not J.K. Rowling!
My boss once received a resume written from the perspective of someone witnessing the storming of the Bastille. The torches, explosions off in the distance, the yelling and screaming. Proficiency in Word and Excel.
It was for an assistant level office job. My boss passed on it. soomuchcoffee
He's a recommendation....Giphy
I had a guy apply to an online job posting, but all he sent was a picture of his dog and somehow no contact information. LibbyLewis
Don't judge a tattoo by it's cover.
I do staffing and you wouldn't believe the resumes I have seen.
One time I was trying to fill a 3rd shift warehouse role for minimum wage and it was a super urgent need for our client and in a remote area. The only guy with experience I could get to bite was... Very interesting.
All his resume said was "I've done warehouse stuff for a long time.. I have F**K YOU tatted on my forehead.. Please let me get in front of you though, I'm the definition of don't judge a book by the cover."
Screened the guy, skyped with him, and had him come in to meet with me. He was great. I let the client know what to expect before sending him on the interview. They hired him on the spot. datacollect_ct
The Green Thumb.
A guy applying for a position in agriculture research just sent a photo of a plant in his backyard. funk_truck
You sir do not look like the photo you submitted, this interview is OVER! TomasNavarro
Plot twist: The plant got hired. WizardsVengeance
I wasn't the employer, but a secretary asked to print off all the cover letters and resumes that had come in. In one person's cover letter, I couldn't help but notice a sentence that had (company name) in one of the paragraphs. The person missed spot they were meant to fill in, in this obvious template of a cover letter. I found it funny that they listed, "attention to detail" as one of their greatest strengths. ToughTriflenb
Tell me more about David!
We were hiring for a position in IT recently. One applicant was this lady, around 60. Used to work in IT in the 90s, then quit to watch her daughters children. Most recent job was cashiering in a supermarket.
From her CV I learned: when she was 17 she visited the US for a couple of weeks on a student exchange program, where she met "David." They fell in love. Afterwards they kept in contact, until he eventually came to our country and they got married. They had an exciting life, being roadies for rock bands and such. Somewhere along the line they managed to finish Uni and had two daughters. David was the love of her life.
Then something happened (unfortunately she didn't elaborate), and David isn't in her life anymore. I never found out whether he died or they got divorced or something. She devoted all her energy to her daughters and their offspring, since that was all she had left of David. Now after the grandchildren are old enough, she wants to work in IT again.
David's name appeared in the application (CV+cover letter) a whopping 17 times. Sometimes I wonder what happened to him. Lazycat0204
Maybe you should apply to Maury?Giphy
I work for one of the largest staffing firms in the United States, so I've seen probably well over one thousand CV's in my tenure here. I wouldn't say this was a "bad" CV, more that it was just the funniest one I've ever seen.
We receive a lot of applications through typical job boards such as Indeed or CareerBuilder, and when they apply we get sent an email that has their CV attached to it with the job they applied for. We received numerous applications from one person, and when we opened the CV attachment expecting to see their experience, it was actually a one page description of how this particular man cheated on his girlfriend multiple times and this was how she was getting back at him, by screwing him out of the positions he was trying to apply for by replacing his CV with this document.
Easily one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my 2 years at this company, we laughed about it for hours. SuperSmashOSU
Or did you mean 'Werky?'
I think it was submitted as a joke (I hope), but it had official header info (name and contact info), but was blank underneath and said, in hand-scrawl: "Me need worky."
What bothered me most is that I would have spelled it "Workie." CitizenCAN_mapleleaf
But could she Bend & Snap?
I'm not sure if it's the worst, but it was the most entertainingly bad. Ya know in Legally Blonde where Reese Witherspoon gives out her resume and its on pink, scented paper?
I got one like that that about 3 years ago, which, looking it up on google just now to confirm, made this reference 15 years out of date (though if it was scented, I missed it). The resume started off, literally her first paragraph, talking about how Legally Blonde was her favorite movie. It was full of doodles in the margins and specifically requested I not contact her previous employers because she felt she was fired unfairly, and instead listed several sorority sisters as references.
She compared herself to Elle Woods several times, explicitly saying any hiring manager who wouldn't hire her off of this resume was doing so because their couldn't handle her individuality. I'm honestly not entirely sure if this was a legit resume or some kind of joke. It had almost nothing to do with the job listing. My manager joked that Buzzfeed was gonna write about me if I didn't call.
The job went unfilled. We chose literally no one over this. linguotgr
All the Info....
I received one which just said "I have no skills cuz I never worked before but I have my GED." Nothing else.
On a different resume I received, the candidate listed his height. He was 5'5. I don't know why he thought that would be relevant. notatallimsure
I am not making this up. I was doing the hiring for a company and a guy put on a line of his 'qualities' that he was "smarter than the average bear" For those of you that don't know, this was a favorite line from the main character in the cartoon Yogi Bear. BeefheartLives
It was worst I've ever seen, but also my favorite.
My company does business with a certain family friendly theme park. This means our employees can't have visible tattoos, crazy hair colors, they need to be able to pass a drug screening, background check, etc. I received a resume for a sales position from a guy we will call Andrew. I just pulled it back up so I can quote it word for word. The cover letter said:
"Hey what's good? I have worked at almost every fast food place around but now it's time to try something new. I don't know how to do retail but I'll learn. I don't have official sales experience of the legal kind of you know what I mean, but that was a few weeks ago and I'm not like that no more"
On his resume he listed the places he worked at and had descriptions such as, "take peoples orders and clean up their messes" and "take peoples orders money and give them their s**t"
I thought the resume was submitted as a joke until I looked Andrew up on Facebook (he had an uncommon last name) and found his profile. watching-the-office
You're full of Swiss....
It was mostly a bunch of bullet points about why he didn't like cheese. Haha! His last job was at a cheese factory.
I suspect he was fired from there and didn't want to say, so he kind of over played the not liking cheese thing as a reason for leaving.
It was still very weird to be on a CV though. thermonuclearmuskrat
It's a Secret...Giphy
I got one with a first name only, no address, no email, no phone number. Even if I wanted to hire him, there was no way to get ahold of him. Token_Black_Rifle
The BF will help....
Just yesterday I was interviewing a girl that mentioned "SQL curiosity" in her CV. So it's the middle of the interview and I randomly ask her if she is confident with SQL to which she responds "Well, I personally don't know how it works, but my boyfriend is a programmer and is very good at it."
No, we did not hire her boyfriend. martinkarolev
Coffee is LIFE!!!
I helped my old boss scan through CVs a while back.
A student applying for a job as a barista. Their opening line "I don't believe coffee is a drink, I believe it is an experience and you need me to be the face of that journey." He had a little waffle about how coffee changed his life and molded him as a person, how coffee has been his savior in university.
This kid seemed to really be into coffee, it was well written but we were a coffee shop in a shopping centre, we didn't need his prose. He was an English student and the CV read as if it was a piece of course work. The whole thing was in comic sans and the only experience he had down was "Coffee drinker for 19 years" the kid was 19. He didn't get the job, but I'm sure he graduated well with how well the opening letter was written though. Monjara