'Face Planted In A Girl's Crotch' Mortified People Share The Most Awkward Physical Contact They've Ever Had.
We all have moments that we look back on and cringe. The worst of these can be when you make awkward physical contact with a total stranger.
Let the cringing begin...
Many thanks to the Redditor who posed this question. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!
1/22. Went to come from behind and wrap my arms around my wife just to feel them against her chest. Also said, 'hey sexy' when doing so.
Wasn't paying attention and did it to my mom instead.
2/22. Elderly gent pressing his crotch against my knee on the bus.
3/22. Boner on a PACKED subway carit was pressed right against her butt, just kept whispering "I'm soo sorry" into her ear.
4/22. Rubbing my leg on the table's leg during math class. Turns out it was the leg of the girl sitting next to me.
5/22. Standing on a train in Tokyo. First off, I'm white with light brown hair that curls up in loose ringlets after a certain length. My hair was exactly at this magic length at the time, meaning I looked a bit like a bespectacled sheep.
So I'm just minding my own business standing by a window reading a book when I feel something gently tugging at my scalp. Confused, I turn around. A grown woman is bouncing one of my ringlets with this look on her face like she's just discovered the secret to eternal happiness. (continued...)
I glare, but she just looks at me, blinks, then plucks my hair again. I ask her to stop in English. She apparently can't hear me. I ask her to stop in Japanese. She goes wide-eyed in terror and scuttles back into the crowded compartment to hide behind some guy.
I looked for her a few minutes later and she was still staring at me like I was a unicorn.
6/22. So I'm in high school and I'm sitting next to a girl in a seating arrangement. We're all on laptops typing up an assignment when her Word stops responding.
My default thing to do when that happens is repeatedly click on it so that the little message asking if you would like to close word comes up quicker because it's probably already messed up. I see Word go all white and spaz so I reached over and repeatedly clicked.
She exclaimed no, grabbed my hand and to stop me from clicking, held it firmly against her chest. She had no clue that she was letting me full on feel her breasts, she just thought it was stopping me from clicking. I then do what any normal hormonal teenager would do and try to click it with my other hand and I get the same end result. So I'm sitting there, front row of the class btw, with her holding both of my hands on her chest.
7/22. I accidentally sat on a man's hand on the train once. I was a teenager and wearing a mini sundress, and I sat down right on his hand without noticing it. It sounds improbable, but the chair was bucket shaped and his hand was in the dip. So I'm just sitting there, listening to my ipod on the train, and this guy taps me on the shoulder with his other hand and says, "I'm sorry but this is my stop".
I was sooo embarrassed. And that's the story of the first time I got to second base.
8/22. Sitting back to back with a friend (I'm a guy, she's a girl). I reach behind myself to try and give her a "behind-the-back-hug" and I just grab a bunch of chest. She is a well-endowed individual, so I grabbed a BUNCH, even though it was an accident. Later on she grabbed my crotch so I'm not sure if she was 100% against me grabbing her.
9/22. Me and few other friends were walking through the woods and this girl in front of me jumped on top of this tree trunk and fell back. I caught her by the waist and my hands somehow slid under her shirt.
We later dated for a year.
10/22. So today I was walking behind a girl, who then decides to stop abruptly and I went crotch first into her behind, in front of all her friends, she pretended to be offended then quickly apologized and walked away. (I should also say she said she was just kidding.)
11/22. My good buddy used to throw these pool parties for all of our friends back in the day. The pool was small so when about 10-15 people were in it, it was pretty cramped.
I'm not sure why but my buddies girlfriend was swimming towards me, while I backward doggy paddled (kind of kicking my feet while swimming backwards).
Well as it turned out my one of my kicks slid up her inner thigh, slipped past her swimsuit bottoms and I "toed" her vagina. We locked eyes as if to make a mutual agreement never to mention this event to my buddy and I immediately left the pool.
They are still dating today, and it's still awkward 8 years later.
12/22. Girl tripped on a chair and her hand landed on my penis. As a reflex my hand swung up and hit her breast.
13/22. Was joking around with my friends, gesturing wildly, and accidentally hit a guy's scrotum. (continued...)
Then on top of that, as he straightens himself and I try to apologize to him, I then somehow magically proceed to smack him in the face. Yeah. so freakin' awkward.
14/22. The girl I was interested in at the time knocked on my suite door one morning.
I had just woken up and was sporting a solid half-chub of morning wood. Somehow thinking my pajama pants could hide this fact, I get up and open the door only to be greeted by a big hug from her. After a few seconds I felt my penis rub up against her leg. She didn't say anything but she knew, she had to.
She left and I stood there mortified for a while. Didn't see much of her after that.
15/22. There were some grades posted on a wall in 9th grade, and I was in the front of a large group looking at them. There was someone with 112% in a class, so I turned around and threw my hands up in the air in a "How the crap do you do that" gesture.
The girl with 112% was right being me, and I scooped her a royal one.
16/22. It's the most awkward every time it happens.
When I take the subway in the morning, I go to grab the hand-rail pole, and I end up accidentally holding someone else's hand.
17/22. Not the most awkward, but the most glazed into my mind at the moment.
I was flirting with my crush. We have this game where we touch the ends of our pencils to the opposite's knee cap, whoever at the end of the day did it last, wins. (continued...)
Well, I was playing a game with her after a test (It was that one square game thing) and I nonchalantly decided to tap my eraser to her kneecap. I had the pointed side of my mechanical pencil facing her knee. It was razor sharp. I grazed her leg with it, and I had that, "Oh no this isn't good" feel immediately. Awkward silence then broke out into a little yelp of pain and then blood.
But I won that day so...
18/22. I was in the school bus, then the bus stopped suddenly, which resulted in me falling and face planting my face in a girl's crotch.
19/22. In 7th grade my class was all standing in line and another kid suddenly grabbed my hand and forced it onto a girl's chest.
Technically it wasn't an accident, but it sure was awkward.
20/22. I was talking to a really attractive girl at a bar and my friends bumped enough to lose my balance and fall on her. My hands were in front of me and they ended up on her chest. Luckily, she understood it was an accident and she actually bought me a drink cause I felt so bad. But I didn't go home with her though.
21/22. So I'm talking to my buddy in the hallway when he asks where the nearest bathroom was so I (not looking) whipped my arm up and was going to point behind me. (continued...)
However this woman was standing just to my left and got the full force of my back hand to her face.
22/22. Uuuuugh. This one still makes me cringe. My girlfriend and I were at the supermarket getting stuff for dinner. She was standing next to me in the frozen aisle and asked me to pick out some fries I liked. At this point, my concentration shifted to all of my potato choices and I remained only half-aware of her continued presence beside me.
I was having a hard time choosing, so I reached over and put my arm around her. I said "we'll get whichever kind you like, honey," and I rubbed her back a little...only to look over into the confused and violated eyes of a complete stranger. While I wasn't looking, my girlfriend had walked away and another woman wearing a similarly-colored top had taken her place, and I hadn't noticed out of the corner of my eye.
I have never been so embarrassed.
We played a game at a family party where you popped balloons on each other and whoever pops the most the fastest wins. I put the balloon on my partners back (she was a qt btw) I hug her so I can pop it and it wont pop. I kept going back and forth so it would pop. Balloon ended up at her butt cause gravity. Dang me and my competitive nature I thrust at her three times hard while pulling her. It finally pops but at this point it looked like I was trying to bang her. The families had a look of shock and I was embarrassed, but tried to act it off. An hour later I start talking to her and she gave the look. We made out throughout the night and other fun activities.
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.