Food Fight Fanatics Reveal What Their Weapon Of Choice Would Be

Food Fight Fanatics Reveal What Their Weapon Of Choice Would Be

As an elementary school student, food fights are probably one of the most exciting prospects of lunch time. Just think, a massive all out war with food! What could be better? The only question is, what food would be best to use to win the battle?

sunlight_wings asks: If you were in a food fight (to the death), what would be your weapon of choice?

Deadly!

Candy Canes sucked down 'til they're all pointy

A strategic demise

Peanut butter shrimp balls. I'm banking on the food allergies.

Going for a hard impact

One of those impossibly hard loaves of bread.

A great projectile

Coconuts

This would make some burn victims

Fondue. It's boiling cheese. I'd make some sort of amped up super soaker and spray molten cheese at anyone.

I hope your mother isn't reading this...

My mom's homemade dinner rolls.

Built in sword

The bill of a swordfish. Use it like a rapier.

That would hurt!

Durians!

Some foods need to be well thought out or you could get a quick backfire

Not yet ripe avocados.

Upsides:

  • Perfect size for over hand hurling
  • Hard as hell
  • Downsides:

    • Durable and therefore subject to being used in return fire by an enemy combatant.
    • Straight up savage!

      Hot oil. I'm going medieval on your a**es.

      That is going to burn and potentially disable the enemy

      Concentrated ghost pepper sauce.

      That's a bold tactic

      Banana, I'll kill them with awkwardness as I initiate eye contact while slowly eating it.

      There are no chickens here

      A 10 pound, frozen butterball turkey.

      I might get tired swinging it--but--you could break ribs, take out knees, and crack skulls with one of those things.

      Another great projectile

      Potatoes.

      If you don't know what they are - basically tubular shaped starchy vegetables

      My strategy would be to throw them at people to knock them out.

      A sugar shank

      You ever had sugar crystallized to look like glass? You could shank someone with that

      Maybe for something to slow them down

      Flour. Toss is like glitter and watch people cough a lung up

      The flaming disk

      A frozen pizza that just came out of the oven. The hottest material known to man

      If you are taking their word for it...

      Cheetos.

      They're dangerously cheesy.

      Go for the eyes

      Cayenne pepper. It's hard to fight if they can't see.

      Tiny but deadly

      A shotgun filled with dried lentils

      We are told that, if you're not confident, you should just "fake it til you make it."

      This is great--in theory. In practice, sometimes "faking it" can have extremely real and terrible consequences, which these people found out the hardest of hard ways.

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