Former Friends Reveal The Things That Destroyed Their Strongest Relationships
Former Friends Reveal The Things That Destroyed Their Strongest Relationships
Friendship is supposed to be one of the closest relationship bonds a person can have. That doesn't mean it's always sunshine and roses. When friendships go wrong, holy CRAP do they go wrong. It's only with that kind of injury that a person can build up the kind of rage it takes to truly hold a grudge. Long story short, ending friendships can get ugly and we're about to talk about it. One Reddit user posed the question:
Things are about to get high-drama and NSFW, so grab your popcorn and your favorite sassy reaction memes; we're about to do this:
Didn't Make The Cut
My friend and I both tried out for the badminton team in grade 7. After the first tryouts they call back for a second set. The list was posted on the bulletin board, so after class she went and checked (I asked her to tell me if I made it). She came back saying neither of us did, and I thought that was the end of it.
The second tryouts were happening the next morning before class. During homeroom that day a girl in my class asked me why I wasn't at tryouts. I told her that I didn't make it, at least that's what Friend told me. She informed me that I did, so I went and checked at morning break. My name was on the list. I went and talked to the gym teacher in charge and he let me do a quick tryout at lunch. I didn't end up making the team (which I was okay with, I'd already accepted that fact). This was now 10 years ago and I'm so salty. I've dealt with a lot of s*** from this girl, but we're still friends.
They Fled The Country???
This was 7 years ago and I'm still mad about it. I'm 30 now and we were friends from the age of 4 to 23 so almost 20 years, and we had borrowed money from each other all the time and always paid it back, so one day he asked to borrow a few grand for a car and I was like sure no problem, he'll pay me back next month like he always does (I borrowed the same amount from him before FYI). I transferred the money and then didn't hear from him for a few days so went round his parents and turns out he used the money to move abroad and set up a new life with a random woman he met online. I almost wish I could say it didn't work out but they got married and had 3 kids and now live in a nice big house, but I gave him all the money I had at the time and it ruined me for quite a long time and I got into debt and other issues which just spiralled from that point. I know which city he lives in but not much more than that, and haven't had what I would consider a best friend again since.
The 20-year Dinner Ban
Mom planned a small dinner party with another family. She cooked all day, set the table, probably made my dad put a playlist together, and waited for them to arrive. The call and say "oh, we can't make it, something better came up".
They are still friends, but my mother hasn't invited them over for dinner in 20 years. And my mom is an amazing cook.
To this day they still say "oh, we never come over for dinner any more!" And my mom will respond, "yes, that's right, you don't." I like to think I inherited her grudge-holding ability.
I was really lonely in high school and bullied a lot. When I was about 14 or 15, my only "best friend" at the time teamed up with two girls who didn't like me to essentially Catfish me. I don't know why, we weren't fighting or anything. Anyway, they pretended to be a guy romantically interested in me and e-mailed me out of the blue. They talked to me for months as this guy, before I trusted "him" enough to give him answers to really personal questions.
I found out who "he" really was after they told everyone every scrap of personal information I'd told my online friend. And it was some pretty personal s***. I was already depressed, and this experience ended up making me start self harming - a habit I only finally kicked about a year ago.
F*ck you, Melissa. It's been 15 years and I still think it was a shitty thing to do to me.
Rented my property and kept the money without telling me while simultaneously f-ing my girlfriend. Yeah, I'm still angry.
The Wedding Brush-Off
A friend texted me the night before my wedding to say that she couldn't attend because she couldn't afford to go. (Wedding was a 30 minute car journey from home) The day after the wedding she had posted photographs on Facebook being out drinking the night of my wedding. Haven't spoken to her since.
Choosing The Girl Over A Lifelong Friend
Not really salty about it anymore, it's been to long. My best friend growing up stopped being friends because of a girl he just meet. We became friends when we were 4. He was 3 months older them me, so growing up we went to school. Our parents were friends. We went to the same church. So we spent most of our time hanging out.
When we were 17 he met this girl and after the first time she met me she told him she didn't want him hanging out with me, right in front of me. Without hesitation he told me to leave and never talked to me again. It's been nearly 20 years now. I see him about once every couple of years. He's married to her now. He's not allowed to have friends outside of her family and is completely miserable. His parents can't stand her because of how unbelievably rude she is to them and rarely lets them see their grand-kids. It's been so long now that I could care less and barely know them, but it's not something I would forgive.
I Do... Not Blame You.
My best-man is now engaged to my ex-wife. Dead Sea salty about that still.
Taking A Homeless Person's Money
When I was in my late teens, I was essentially homeless. One of my absolute best friends was moving away for college and offered to let me stay in his apartment for the remainder of the lease if I would cover half the rent. I was working at a sandwich place at the time, not making more than $7.50 per hour, so it sounded like a great deal.
I paid him for the first month, and was evicted less than month later by the apartment managers. Turns out my bestie hadn't been paying rent, took my money and left me without a place to live.
One of my co-workers let me stay with him until I could get back on my feet.
A few years ago, my former friend saw me at a bar during the holidays and tried to talk to me. Without a word, I just gave him the most blank, vacant, uncaring stare I've ever given anyone in my life. He eventually left me alone.
No Love For Brother
I was visiting my parents with my dog a few months ago, my brother came into the house and as a normal happy dog would he ran to the door in excitement and is standing about 2 feet away just wagging his tail awaiting the new visitor.
My brother decided he didn't like my dog being at the door and kicked my pup as hard as he could in the stomach. My dog is 180 pounds and I've barely heard him whimper in pain at any point. My dog let out the loudest Yelp and ran to me with his tail tucked whimpering. That's how hard my brother had kicked him.
I'm not a generally angry person and I hardly ever yell and I especially am NOT a fighter. That day my family saw a side of me that they never have. My dad had to physically pull me off of my brother and kicked him out. I believe I said some pretty graphic things about how I was going to kill him. Don't fuck with my dog. Ever.
My best friend selling my Nintendo for heroin. Not great.
I had a bandmate (the drummer... always the f*cking drummer) who was always kind of shiftless and self-absorbed but funny and talented, which goes a long way in a band situation. Jim was never on time, serially unapologetic about being an hour late, and was a prima donna about his performances. After a few years of this, I got sick of it and we disbanded.
Fast forward another year, Jim calls me up and tells me he's moving to my city and was wondering if I could give him a job at my construction company. Against my better judgement, I give him a qualified yes. Turns out he was as shitty an employee as he was a bandmate: always late, always texting, futzing around so it took twice as long to do something as it should. Eventually, after numerous attempts to whip him into shape, I let him go.
In the interim, a lot of personal things had happened, including me getting separated/divorced. One day, my ex texts me some screen shots of the conversation Jim initiated. "Hey, girl, just checking on you to make sure you're okay. Breakups are hard. Call me if you need anything..." To her credit, her response was along the lines of, "If I did, I'd probably call somebody else. When was the last time you talked to twelvesteprevenge, anyway?"
He plays drums in a band with other friends of mine but I refuse to go to any of their shows because f*ck you, Jim.
She Could Have Afforded To Repay
A friend was leaving a crappy relationship, she had a one year old son and was pretty down on her luck. She asked to borrow $2000 for a damage deposit and first months rent and promised to pay me back after her next payday. I was naive and trusted her. In hindsight, I should have known, due to her situation that she wouldn't be able to pay me back that quickly. Anyway, gave her the money and haven't seen a dime of it. What makes it unforgivable for me is that in the 3 years that have passed, she is doing well, bought a brand new car, moved to a nice condo, always has her hair and nails done etc. I feel like if she can afford these things, she could have paid me $50 each pay period or whatever she could, when she could, but obviously paying me back/our friendship is not a priority for her... in fact, whenever I have contacted her about it she just ignores me. Lesson definitely learned, I don't lend anyone money and will teach my children the same. I know not everyone is like my "friend" but it often seems that people who are generous/good natured get taken advantage of.
My 14 yo daughter went through a phase where she became very neglectful in her school attendance and studies so as punishment she was not allowed any tv or music until her homework was done every night -- apparently this was too much for her and she ended up running away -- leaving a note that said "Don't come looking for me because you won't find me. I love you but I just need to get away and find myself. Bye."
I immediately called all her friends in her little phone book -- no one had heard or seen her (this was at 9:00 pm) and as my husband drove around to all her favorite spots to check and see if she was there, I called the police.
They arrived took all the info down, a current picture of her etc. and said they'd issue a BOLO (Be On the Look Out) and bring her home if they spotted her.
I then sat waiting for my husband to return and decided to call my bff, crying hysterically about what had happened.
She listened patiently and gave all the proper sympathetic responses including that if my daughter didn't return by that night (she lived two hours away in another city) she would come in the morning and stay with me to show support and brain storm.
I agreed and we cried together some more and then we ended the conversation.
We didn't sleep all night and jumped out of my skin every time the phone rang. Morning arrived and so did my bff.
She would leave for home at dark and return in tbe morning every day for the almost three weeks our daughter was missing. All along being a rock to me as support. Brain storming, making more calls to other family and friends for me, put her kids on the look out and to spread the word etc..made meals so I didn't have to cook and gave me hugs and her shoulder to cry on, often times crying with me.
Almost three weeks into my daughter being missing the phone rang and it was the police -- talk about a heart attack, especially since they had found the body of a female at a isolated park -- and all they simply said "Mrs. Worry We found her!"
I cried and said "Is she ok?" and I sware I stopped breathing until he answered.
He says "Yes, she's fine. Has a mouth on her and we feel sorry for you, but she's fine. Another PD found her in another county, recognized her from her picture and brought her in. She's here, if you want to come pick her up. We wouldn't blame you if you decided to leave her here, but she is here."
I laughed between tears and said I'd be right down -- coincidently my bff had decided to stay home that day and so I called my husband from work to come home so we could go get our daughter together.
Here's the "shorter" part of this story.
Fast forward after many months of counseling and an actual in patient hospitalization for our daughter she snapped out of it and once again there was peace and joy in our home.
So imagine my surprise when one night as my daughter and I were having our nightly mother/daughter chats while staring at the stars on our deck -- my daughter blurts out , " Mom aren't you curious about the where, who or what of my little excursion?"
I hadn't pushed her for details because I didn't want to stress her and figured I'd hear it from her sooner or later. So I just said "Yes, but only when you're ready. Don't you want to know what and how I felt finding you gone?"
She said yes and so I vented my fears, worries and sleepless nights and made the ending comment of "...had it not been forBFF being a great friend to me I'd have lost it."
My daughter by now was softly weeping at my anguish and said "Mom...she's NOT your friend."
And I said "Why do you say that?"
And my daughter said "Because....I was hiding out at her house all that time. She hid me from you and kept encouraging me not to go home that she had always wanted a daughter like me and I could stay and be her daughter. She evil and mean, she's also jealous of you and likes daddy and told me that she wish she had your looks and money and life. She's NOT your friend. But please don't tell her I told you. She made me promise not to say anything."
I could have fell out of my chair in shock.
The next morning after my daughter went to school, I got in my car and drove the two hours to my bff house. She was shocked to see me (she had been inexplicably absent since our daughter was "returned") and I could see the worry and slight fear in her face but tried to act like nothing was wrong.
She didn't originally invite me in like usual and had a death grip on her door knob so I knew SHE KNEW why I was there.
I said WHAT? You're not going to invite me in now? And she quickly caught herself and said "OH, sorry come on in".
No sooner had we sat down and I let her have it with a tongue lashing she's never had before and I ended it with "You're evil and no friend of mine and I never want to see you EVER again!!! And you better pray to God that I can't prosecute you for kidnapping!!" then I stormed out.
We'd been friends since grade school!
How she could have done that to us is beyond me, and I could have easily beat the crap out of her but chose the high road.
Something that I still regret talking and NOT beating the crap out of her.
I want her to feel the pain she caused me by knowing all along my daughter was at her house while she cried with me and held my hand and SAW THE PAIN I WAS SUFFERING.
A pure sociopath. Ughh.
He was an artist and I was a writer. I had a script written out for a graphic novel, he wanted to work on it and I agreed.
He did no work whatsoever for two months. Not a single sketch. Instead, he put his name on my story and took a meeting with a publisher through a contact he had. He told me about it after they let him know they weren't interested and acted like it was no big deal.
Needless to say, I lost my shit. I made him show me all the stuff he showed them. His name, everywhere. His contact info, everywhere. My name was on one page, under his. Everything he showed them was 100% my work, even what sketches there were were from me, and he acted like he did it all.
I told him to f*ck right off, forever.
Don't Bring Missionaries
I had some friends from church that I thought understood and supported me. I am athiest, and don't even want to discuss religion. They called to see when was a good time to visit me, and I was excited to hear from them. They brought pushy missionaries. I'm still mad about it, and don't reach out to them because of it. At the time I kept the peace, now I regret not saying something because it was just rude.
Cat Food For The Abused
My mother used to starve me. Like literal abuse. If I was lucky I'd get a quarter of a butter sandwich for lunch and for tea, a dried lump of old cooked pasta that had been defrosted by being left in the counter all day. I used to be so so hungry!
A friends mother took pity on me, I don't know how it came about, but she began sending my friend in with an extra lunch every day in school. It was only a sandwich and a juice but wow, I had food that was nice and filling! I was so thankful and I made it clear that I was.
Then one day, the friend decided it would be funny to put cat food in the sandwiches and give them to me. When I realized what she'd done, she laughed so publicly at me for being such a scrounger.
Obviously it was an amazing thing that that friends parents did for me, I was definitely a scrounger by all means but I was so hungry! I still don't trust others with my food though
That Playlist, Though...
I had two friends in middle school and we would always hang out. We had a whole friend group and for the first time in my life I felt like I had friends and like I belonged somewhere.
About halfway through ninth grade, my two friends just stopped talking to me and inviting me to stuff. They were shutting me out. So I automatically started thinking it was a problem with me. I racked my brain trying to figure it out. Cried and cried cause I was losing my only friends.
Years later, I talked to one of them about it and asked why they shut me out. He said, "do you really want to know?" Obviously I did. He said it was because of the music I listened to. I listened to Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, AC/DC, all that good stuff. They listened to All American Rejects and We The Kings, etc. I told him that was the dumbest fucking reason and walked away.
I went through agony trying to figure out what I did wrong and it was just what I had on my iPod.
I caught a former friend rifling through correspondence between me and an online Dr.
I went MENTAL.
I was a closeted trans-woman at the time. Im still mostly closeted to this day (but slowly breaking out) - but what gives the prick the right to read letters Iv kept aside in my own home?
The excuse of You've looked depressed for ages and I just wanted to see if there's anything I can do just doesn't cut it. How dare anyone read my mail in the 1st place. Even worse - when it's clearly medically related - to keep going.
Screw him. We don't speak anymore.
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.