'Frat Bros And Drunk Moms Stumbled Out.' 24 College Students Share The Craziest Thing They've Witnessed In Their Dorm.
Ah, freshman year. Where dorm parties are plentiful and homework is a distant memory. Here, 24 college students share the craziest thing they've ever witnessed in their college residence halls. I don't envy their RAs...
1/24. One guy peed on a cookie sheet and let it freeze outside in winter. He took said frozen sheet of pee and slid it under another guy's door when he wasn't there. All the rooms in that dorm were carpeted.
2/24. During freshman year, one of the girls on my floor received a giant, 10-inch dildo with a suction cup attachment as a gag gift from her friends on her 19th birthday. The guys on my floor thought it would be great fun to periodically steal, then chase each other around with said dildo and beat the living hell out of each other with it.
I was in my neighbor's room one day when his dorm-mate busted open the door and threw this thing full force at him. Fortunately my friend was able to react quick enough to dodge out of the way... unfortunately for us though the dildo went careening full bore into the window behind him, smashed through it and proceeded to fall 9 stories.
We watched in horror and shock as this dildo fell and hit a freshmen girl on the head, who immediately collapsed and began convulsing. Cops and paramedics came and took me, my two neighbor's and the poor girl who owned the dildo down to the campus police station.
They put us all into an interrogation room where we waited until a detective came in... with the dildo in hand. He then proceeded slam down the suction cup end of the dildo onto the middle of the interrogation table. We couldn't stop laughing due to the fact that this thing was slowly wobbling back and forth during the whole interrogation.
And don't worry, the girl who got conked in the head with this thing was fine in the end.
3/24. One group of guys stole a parking meter. They ripped it out of the ground with the concrete still on it, carried it up four floors, tossed it out a window trying to break it. It didn't break, so they tried again. Still didn't break, it lived up there for about a month till they put it back.
4/24. One of my favorites is the kid that got suspended for repeatedly climbing along the outside of the dormitories dressed in full Spider-Man regalia. Everyone thought is was funny when he climbed from the first to the second floor. But, by the end of the week, he was climbing the 7th, 8th, etc.and the school was terrified they would be held liable if he died.
The Dorm Director told him he would be removed from campus if it continued, and his response was, "I'm sorry, but with great power, comes great responsibility." He was kicked out the next day, after making it to the roof.
Continue reading on the next page!
5/24. We had a guy whose room was at the end of the hall so it had a little extra space next to his door. A little alcove. We had tour groups come through our dorm with prospective students and their families. Well on one of those days he tore out a bunch of pics from his playboys and posted them all over his door and on the walls outside his room. A mother went absolutely ballistic when she saw that.
A few months later when another tour group came through, our RA Bill was giving a speech to the high-schoolers and their families.
So our buddy "fell" out of his room in just his boxers and his hands tied behind his back with a sock in his mouth. He spit the sock out and started yelling "BILL! UNTIE ME! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!!!" Our RA was humiliated, the parents went absolutely nuts over it.
Our buddy was kicked out later that day.
6/24. Boarding school here. Mp3s, phones etc. were prohibited, but a few people (including me) still had them. One of them was caught and expelled and all the charging points were covered up. There was 1 uncovered socket left, but it was 18 feet above ground, and was for a big appliance.
The solution we came up with was to steal stuff from the physics lab and make a voltage regulator. Then make 2 stacks of 3 people standing on top of each other. The top 2 guys worked the wires, and got us a connection. One stack went up everyday for almost a week before we were able to get a wire extender with a socket and get a permanent connection. It is still the craziest/most innovative thing that I have personally witnessed.
7/24. Last winter in Boston, there was about 102'' of snow. Being college kids, we proceeded to build an igloo on the roof of our dorm and proceeded to hotbox it. Good times.
8/24. I was a sophomore at University of Iowa, on the engineering dorm. The problem was that the main cafeteria of the campus was downstairs, so drunk people would get confused and wander to it even though it was closed, then start having fun on other floors.
It was Saturday night and pretty miserable outside so most people were staying in, when we heard a scream, then a loud crack. When we checked on it, there was nobody in the hallway. There was, however, a large smear of blood along the wall, and the exit sign was broken.
One of the guys decided to investigate and found a huge guy in the bathroom, bleeding from the face and drunk. Turns out he had the brilliant idea of running down the hallway, leaping into the air, and head-butting the exit sign.
Continue reading on the next page!
9/24. One day I woke up to a sink sitting in the hallway. Like a sink that is built into a counter top or something. Someone must have just ripped a sink out of a countertop, from a different building, and put it in the hallway...on the fourth floor.
10/24. My roommate, a girl who lived across the hall (we will call her Sarah) and myself were sitting in the common room (which is situated right between the two dorm rooms) studying/chatting together. We were talking about placed we'd traveled or something when the other girl's roommate comes down the stairs wrapped in a towel and into the common room.
As she's walking toward the room, she casually says, "Hey Sarah, I'm going to bed now."
Sarah says, "Okay," and continues the conversation she was having with my roommate and I.
Her roommate stops in her tracks and repeats, "I'm GOING to bed now"
Sarah gets an embarrassed look on her face, gets up, and silently follows her roommate into the room and shuts the door.
11/24. I lived on the 5th floor of a monstrous 6-story building. One night in February, the fire alarms went off at like 2am and the building was evacuated. No fire, no nothing. We all went back inside.
The next Tuesday, the alarms went off at the same time. This time someone had taken out the fire extinguishers and thrown them from the top of the stairwells where they exploded when reaching the ground. Obviously, you can't use elevators in a fire situation and the stairwells were a disaster. It wasn't so much fun running through that.
This type of thing then happened every Tuesday night for at least a month. They eventually caught the people when they tried to hit two dorms back-to-back.
12/24. One of the RAs got fired...I can't remember why. He had a week to move out of his dorm room, and it coincided with Mother's weekend. Lots of moms visiting campus. He decided to get a keg and invite a bunch of people over as a "screw you" to his bosses.
His room was larger than most, since he was an RA. When they broke up the party the people stumbling out were frat bros and drunk moms, and a couple of grandmothers.
Continue reading on the next page!
13/24. Someone on my floor freshman year drunkenly invited a homeless guy over to sleep on his couch. The next morning the homeless guy was gone and so was the guy's Xbox and all his games.
14/24. My college divided the dorms into "houses" the idea being that you would do stuff with your house and form a community. The problem was that I already had a group of friends and this community was completely obnoxious. So I went to the first required meeting and then promptly did nothing with them ever again.
Fast forward two months and two girls who live down the hall run up to me and ask to take a picture with me which I thought weird but sure. Turns out that it was so uncommon for people in my house to see me that I was an item in a photo scavenger hunt.
15/24. It was 5 am on a Sunday morning and my friends and I had been up all night. We are walking down the hall to our rooms and pass the communal bathroom. We hear an odd hissing/splattering noise so we walk in to check it out. It turns out a drunk guy had repeatedly kicked the pipe connecting the toilet to the wall, detached it from the wall, and ran.
Water shooting out of the wall at fire hydrant strength was making the hissing noise, and it hitting the wall, 8 feet away through the open stall door, was making the splattering noise.
We reported it as quickly as we could, but it being the crack of dawn on a Sunday, no maintenance workers were around so the water continued spraying for like an hour. On the 8th floor of a dorm. Ended up flooding the 6th, 7th, and 8th floors and created an 8 story waterfall when it reached the stairwell. The water in the basement laundry area ended up being knee deep.
16/24. I lived in a tiny dorm room on the fourth floor with one other roommate. Our windows were screened and there were no trees or other nearby buildings outside, but one night around 3 am I suddenly woke up when my roommate Amy threw her pillow at me. I sat up and was about to ask her WTF, then I saw she was huddled on her bed against the wall looking scared. (continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
There was a little black cat on the floor between our beds. Then I did ask her WTF, where did the cat come from, weren't we forbidden from having pets? Apparently she just woke up and it was there. Our windows were closed. Our door was locked. And Amy was afraid to put her feet on the floor to let the cat out.
I was still kind of groggy and just wanted to go to sleep and deal with it in the morning, so I got up, opened the door, led the cat to the hallway, and let it out the fire escape. It went willingly enough. Then I went back to bed and gave Amy back her pillow.
It kept happening like once or twice a month during that first semester. Just that same cat reappearing in our room in the wee hours of the night, but never when we're staying up late. We never did figure out how it kept getting in. It was kinda cute, though. I mean, it was a cat.
17/24. One time, my roommate and I hatched quails in our dorm room.
We started out with growing plants, then breeding beta fish, and from there we kind of escalated to birds. ordered a cheap incubator and the eggs online, and kept it in the corner of our room without having any real hope that any of them would hatch.
Three of them did...somehow...and they lived in our dorm room for a whole year without the RA finding out. It helps that they only grow to be about three inches tall.
18/24. When I was a freshman I had this roommate, Mike. Mike came from money, his parents bought him a decently nice car at 16, he modified the heck out of it, and he thought he could do anything he wanted.
One night, Mike decides he's gonna get very drunk, maybe take some pills. At some point during the night, for a reason we still don't know, he decided he did not like the plate glass window in the hallway of our dorm, so he dropped his shoulder and ploughed into it.
Spiderwebbed the entire thing. At some point later that night, he wanted to talk to some people we knew on a balcony down the hall. Instead of walking down the hall and into their room, he opened a window and head-butted the screen out so he could lean out and yell at them.
At some point later in the night he did cocaine and I woke up to a bunch of my stuff duct-taped to the wall of our room.
19/24. It was the first or second weekend of moving into my freshman year dorm. People were in the floor lounge and everyone was sort of slyly drinking mixed drinks in cups or bottles to not let the RA's know what was going on. More and more people kept coming and it was getting a little crowded in the lounge so everyone decided to go to the basement which was like a dorm wide lounge with pool and ping pong tables and what have you.
Eventually everyone got really drunk/high and there were probably at least 75 drunk freshman in the basement. At some point someone discovered that the free condoms, oral dams, and lube were also located in the basement. That's when someone shut off most of the lights, brought down a stereo and made a lube slip and slide. It was probably the funnest night I had in college... until the cops showed up and tackled like 6 people and everyone ran to their rooms screaming.
20/24. Across the hall from me lived Ron and Todd (not their real names, but who cares). They were...not a good match. Ron was basically a hippie, and Todd was on the football team. Todd drove Ron crazy, not the other way around - Todd basically didn't care about Ron's antics, but Ron couldn't stand sharing his dorm room with a straight edge.
So after a few months, Ron cooks up a plan to get Todd out of the room. And this is how it goes down, based on Todd's story about what actually happened. In the middle of the night, Todd wakes up. The blinds in the room have been pulled open, and it's light enough to see in the room. Ron is standing in the middle of the room, naked, painting a huge mural on the wall that has the door on it. (continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
As Ron moves from area to area to paint, he skips and quietly sings to himself. Ron also paints himself. Little paint for the wall, little paint for Ron. After 5+ minutes of watching this scene from his bed with growing disbelief and horror, Todd says something, and Ron turns slowly to face Todd, skips over to Todd's bed, kisses Todd full on the lips, and says, "Go back to sleep Todd, you're dreaming." Todd is just sleepy enough to find this somewhat convincing, so he rolls over. Also, what else is he going to do? Fight his naked, paint-covered roommate?
The next morning, Todd wakes up. And there's no mural anywhere in the room. No paint on the floor, no paint on any of Ron's bedclothes, and Ron is fast asleep in his bed, wearing a t-shirt. Todd wakes up Ron and asks if anything...odd was going on in their room last night. Ron replies that he had a chem test that wiped him out, so he just came straight home and went to bed and had been asleep until Todd woke him up.
So now Todd doesn't know what the funk to think, but the best answer appears to be that he had a homoerotic dream about his roommate being a painting satyr. So Todd leaves the dorm room and asked to get reassigned. It made no sense to the rest of us either, until much later when we were having a beer in Ron's room. He asked us if we wanted to see something cool. Sure, we did. So he shut off all the lights and then turned on a lamp hidden near his bed - with a blacklight. All the sudden, a massive, glowing mural appeared on the wall with the door on it. And all over Ron's sheets and comforter. And Ron just started laughing.
And that's how Ron got a room to himself.
21/24. A guy that was wasted and tripping went into the wrong room in the middle of the night and was thrown out of said room, across the hall and through the wall into my room.
Turns out there had been a giant hole there that was cheaply patched up years ago, otherwise there should have been no way he could have gone straight through the wall. It was a cold night, but my roommate and I pushed a dresser up against the wall to attempt to cover the hole until someone could fix it. Good times.
22/24. I had some friends cut down a christmas tree from campus somewhere and put it up in their dorm room. The only thing is, real christmas trees are not allowed because they're a crazy fire hazard. So they bought one of those things you would put a live plant in (a planter?), some 90 degree brackets, and some screws and screwed the tree down. Then they built a false top and sprinkled dirt and rocks (again taken from campus) on it to make it look like the tree was planted in dirt.
They convinced our RA that they had an uncle who had a tree farm and allowed them to dig up a real tree to use for the year.
My absolute favorite part is that they returned the saw they used to Walmart.
23/24. Lived in a 21 floor tower, something like 1600 students lived in it. Four guys decided to have a jam session in an elevator and go up and down the building - had drums, guitar, saxophone, and vocalist. I think every single floor wanted to murder them.
24/24. I was an RA. I had eight residents trap a raccoon and bring it into their dorm to "domesticate" it. Guess what happens when you let a raccoon in the dorm? It messes everything up.
Whoops. That snip was just a hair too far....
Your first bad haircut probably made you want to die a little when you looked in the mirror. Imagine how the person cutting your hair must have felt. Although, maybe they didn't care at all, as evidenced by the bs excuse they gave you when you finished in the barber chair.