Fussy People Share The One Thing They Will Always Be A Snob About
There are certain things in life that we can be very snobby about. We will guard those things with our life, and ruthlessly put down any compromise we do not seem fit. Today, we take a closer look at the things that so easily grind the gears of our inner snob.
Good lenses in your glasses. What's the point of buying that HD TV when your vision is only 360p?
I used to be a huge beer snob but then I realized I was just an alcoholic and the double IPA's and other high gravity beers just got me drunker faster.
Now I'm just looking for something more productive to be snobby about.
If I'm eating a sandwich with cheese on it, I'm not eating any of those processed cheese singles. I'm not a peasant, I'm not eating peasant cheese.
I NEED a pen of a certain quality or better, and I get the feeling as my income increases that standard will only increase And I'm ok with that.
Some people will just slap anything on their feet. Savages. I cannot have a paper thin sock. But if it's a thick sock, the seam across the toes can't be too thick. The band of the sock can't be tight enough that I feel it squeeze. But it can't be loose enough to ride down.
And you people who can wear your socks crooked just make me sick.
I realize that my sock issues may run deeper than I thought when I originally began typing this out.
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6. Toilet paper
Only the good stuff is going near this butt.
7. Video quality.
If my friends and I are downloading a movie or show it better be in 1080p at a minimum or I don't watch.
I don't get how people are okay with SD in the year 2016 when we all have working internet. Cmon people!
8. Maple Syrup
It doesn't have to be top of the line or anything, but it damn well better be real, 100% maple syrup. None of that log cabin brown corn syrup crap for my pancakes/waffles/french toast.
I know it's more expensive, but it's totally worth it.
I'm a snob about yarn. Please. You're telling me you made a beautiful keepsake afghan but with red heart super saver? That shit is going to be itchy like grass the first time you have to wash it. Also, it will become practically Velcro. Spend the extra money on some real wool. It's worth it. Rant over.
Especially high end ones. When I tell people how much my custom rig costs and they then tell me "oh you could've just gotten a MacBook for that price" I die a little inside.
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11. Meeting times.
If you say you're going to be there at 8pm, either be there at 8pm, let me know you're running late (with plenty of notice) or go home :) You'd be surprised at how many people don't know how to do this.
12. Oxford comma
The Oxford comma is great, and it makes things so much clearer. I was actually surprised to find out a few months ago that it wasn't standard. It should be.
13. Animal care.
If you're going to commit to a pet you better do it properly, especially reptiles, proper care can be super complicated but worth it for the animal. Also, do your breed research! Don't get a border collie unless you are prepared to exercise it for two hours a day. Yes, every day. Beagles are SMART, if you let them get bored they will get out. Puppies of all breeds nip and chew and bark! Train them early! Cats need company and stimulation! Don't even get me started on rodents. You need a bigger cage than that! Yes, bigger than that too!!
Im sure I can speak for a lot of fellow graphic designers out there: Fonts. We can no longer look at menus the same way, we always try and quiz ourselves, we sadistically teach our family and friends what keming is.
That classic moment where you're invited to game night and, oh, have you heard of "cards against humanity?" With nine players? And first one to ten cards wins? Better pour me a drink, we'll be here for six hours, but sick of the game in ten minutes. Yay!
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16. Black pepper
You basically have to own a pepper mill to get the right stuff. The pre ground stuff is just dust. What kind of savage would be alright with it?
Nothing bugs me as much as a poorly written book.
"Should I pronounce this ethnic word correctly and look like a snobby douche, or knowingly pronounce it wrong just to fit in?"
My frequent struggle.
19. Orange juice
I can't stand cheap tasting OJ.
If I have to buy store bought, I prefer Indian River or Simply Orange, but my local grocery store has a juice bar where I buy it fresh squeezed. It's expensive, but totally worth it.
Pulp. Lots and lots of pulp.
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Tea snob here. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be a tea snob in the southeastern US? Sweet tea is everywhere and it's disgusting, and when you ask what kind of tea a business has, it doesn't even occur to them that other kinds of tea exist.
I can't understand how people can live with those dreadful earpods/ 10 dollar cheap knockoffs. Really grinds my ears.
22. Soap Opera Effect
People who watch their televisions with the image processor on that causes the Soap Opera Effect. Don't they SEE it????? HOW??!! HOW can't they????
If you put sour cream in your Guacamole, I'll burn your world and everything you stand for. Or I'll just be a little disgusted and won't have any.
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Specifically 90's and early 00' cartoons. Every time my students talk about how awesome their Disney channel tween sitcoms were I die a little inside.
25. Fingernail hygiene
As long as I don't see a bunch of nasty crap underneath and around them, I don't care. This counts double if you work in the food industry. Keeping my nails trimmed short was one of my biggest steps in getting my acne under control. There is so much nasty stuff that gets up in them nails. Ugh. Nasty nails bum me out so much.
I was a bicycle mechanic. I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain to people that you get what you pay for when it comes to bikes. Go to Walmart? It will break. Don't maintain a bike? It will break... Also know what bike brand and style you have. It drives me up the wall when people are just like "oh it's just a bike..." NO its not!
Okay stepping off of soap box now.
Specifically on highways.
It annoys me watching people just cruising in the left lanes, when even the semi trucks are passing us. Or when for no reason, someone in front of me brakes suddenly.
But the thing that really annoys me the most is when people pass on the right. Slow it down, it's not a race, people exit off to the right. Doing 120 down the right lane when people are trying to exit is dangerous. If you want to pass, we have the left lanes. Use them. Quit weaving in and out of the right lane to pass.
Those of us who live in New York live this truth on a daily basis.
Sometimes, you just meet a person who isn't quite all there. It's hard to tell at first, but then you talk with them for a little while and it just becomes abundantly clear if they're two eggs short of an omelette.
The stories of how you find out are so interesting. But yet, they teach us to look for clues when we interact with others.