Guy Comes Home With Bruised Lips And His GF Suspects He's Cheating, Seeks Advice For How To Approach Him
Once a cheat...
Redditor u/bluebruises is in a bit of a quandry. She not sure about the actions of her man. So she reached out to us. Here's the story... My [30F] boyfriend  has bruised lips after night out...
This is a weird one. My boyfriend of one year went out on Friday night, didn't get home til 4am. I have no problem with this although this is out of character for him. Didn't hear from him much during the night as his battery died, again no problem.
However I saw him on Sunday and his lips were all bruised. The only time I've had this is after passionately kissing. I know I sound a bit nuts but my gut is that my boyfriend got with someone. He keeps on about how his lips are chapped from the cold weather but they don't look chapped, just a bit bruised.
I've had suspicions about how faithful he is but no firm evidence. I do know he cheated on his past two girlfriends though.
He doesn't know that I know he cheated on his exes. I found this out recently through mutual friends. Apparently there are certain girls in our town who he used to reach out to when he was bored at home on his own. My boyfriend (or shall I say soon to be ex) has always insisted he has been cheated on or treated badly by his previous girlfriends.
That's painful passion...
What kind of make out sessions are you having where you bruise your lips? Jesus!
He could've done some sort of CS drug and been biting his lips a lot. I know I tend to when I've done them. Could also explain the need from his side to lie (If he is). And him staying out later than normal.
Or a dust buster...
He probably hooked up with a vacuum cleaner.
Why you asking girl? You know.
Sounds like your boyfriend can't kiss..
Also, you know he cheated in his past relationships, Why would you think he'd change?
As in, has he even said he wants to change or has changed? Or are you just making assumptions.
Lay off the drugs...
He could've done some sort of CS drug and been biting his lips alot.
Definitely, could be MDMA or something. Especially if he came back so late. Or maybe he's really stressed out, I bite my lips a lot when I'm stressed or anxious.
I think he got into a fight or into drugs before he got into another girl.
It's all crazy!
I have never, ever experienced, seen, or even heard about bruising lips from kissing until now. That is insane. My first thought would be to ask him if he got punched. Am I crazy?
No, you're not crazy, this was my first thought too! From other evidence it does sound like the dude's cheating but ... what ....
Though I'm leaning towards cheating (mainly bc he has had bruised lips from kissing OP), getting punched and being too embarrassed to admit is a good theory.
Maybe he tripped and fell into someone's fist?
Don't be so sore...
He hasn't had bruised lips before from kissing, only she has, according to her post. And I have never ever even heard of anyone having bruised lips from kissing. They are probably chapped, or he has a cold sore, and she is probably being overly accusatory and paranoid.
Nibble, nibble, nibble...
I actually thought that the bruised lips were completely plausible. Back when we first started dating, my SO and I used to kiss so much that our lips would feel sore or bruised for a day or so afterwards. I'm not sure if they LOOKED bruised, but the sure as hell felt like it.
And by kissing a lot, I mean... we kissed A LOT. And we might nibble each other's bottom lips and pull on them lightly with our teeth a little.
So, I wouldn't necessarily rule out OP's impression of bruised lips from kissing. It happens if you're doing it exceedingly passionate and actively for a long amount of time.
The past holds the answers...
if he cheated on his past two girlfriends, why is he your boyfriend?
Two times the charm...
Honestly and communication are two non-negotiables for me. Even aside from that, if he cheated on his exes, while pretending to be the victim, I'd be very very concerned - it's a complete flipping of the narrative, in a dishonest and manipulative way.
I'm much more doubtful of his lip scenario being from super hot and heavy making out, but I think you buried the lede, because it sounds like you have other reasons to have your doubts about him, that don't require making assumptions.
If it was once, maybe I could overlook it, but twice? You need to get a better vetting process for the next one.
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: