Guy's 20 Something GF Is Stealing His 61-Year-Old Mother's Clothes, And He Doesn't Know What To Do
This is not an ok fantasy!
All relationships have issues to work through. Love takes thought, patience and compromise. But some issues are just a little too strange to deal with without advice. You never think you'd find yourself saying... "Like who would have ever thought certain things would be an issue?" Case in point.
My GF [26F] is apparently stealing clothes from my mom [61F]. I [23M] don't know how to handle this situation
First of all. English is not my native language. Sorry if my writing is weird. I live with my my mom and my brother. My girlfriend (we've been together for a year) has been coming to our apartment, we watch movies, have sex, and basic stuff like that.
There was a piece of clothing (a woman's jacket) that belongs to my mom. She found out that my GF has taken it (she saw it in her bag). She thought that this was some sort of mistake since she might have a similar jacket and stuff. That happened like a month ago.
Recently my GF and I went to a trip to the beach of one week. We returned from the trip and we got to my home to chill and the next day she would be going to her own house with her parents. The Monday morning I left her there and I went to work. It has been 2 weeks, I told my mom that my GF would be coming here for this weekend and my mom sadly told me that more clothing has gone missing (a bikini and some other stuff).
My mom swears that the clothing was there before we went to the trip. Right after my GF left, the clothes were missing. I don't know what to think about this. I'm very stressed and confused. Maybe she's a clepto? Or she's just stealing consciously? I don't know if I should talk to her about the issue or If I should talk with my mom and GF together.
Help me please. I'm going insane.
My GF, according to my mom, might be a kleptomaniac. And has been taking some of my mom's clothing. Please help me out on how to deal with this issue
Follow the $$$...Giphy
Is she wearing them? She could be stealing them to sell on 'poshmark' or one of those apps.
Keepin' it vintage...
I am more than a little surprised that your 26 year old girlfriend has the same style/coloring/size as your 61 year old mom? Is she planning on wearing them?? And taking someone else's bikini????????
Have you looked at her clothes to see if your mom's stuff is there??
It is very possible. I had a klepto friend when I was 18 who stole my mothers items and started stealing mine. She was just crazy. Kleptos will steal anything with no rhyme or reason. Basically you are left to either your mother lying or your GF is really stealing you mother's stuff. Does your mother seem forgetful? Just look through your GF clothes. How is she getting access to your mothers room without anyone noticing?
Let her werk it!Giphy
To be fair, my mom has amazing taste and I regularly wear clothing she either picked out or she cleaned out from her closet (worn once or twice). I'm 29 and she's close to 60. I felt amazing about my diet progress when I could fit into her clothes! Chic older women totally exist. I would wear the hell out of Diane/Christine Baranski's closet from The Good Wife.
Know whose lying before you speak!
Seen similar stuff. Maybe she is stealing them, maybe the mom is psycho. OP talk to her with an open mind not just accusatory cause honestly your mom MIGHT be lying. Might not be, but consider it a possibility don't just HEY WHY YOU STEALING MY MOM'S STUFF ya know?
Personally I've never seen an elderly woman and thought damn I wish I had her clothes frankly. Your mom stylish? Lol
A lot of the time nice stuff is expensive as heck, and it's weird as heck to ask someone to give you some of their clothes? What we have is OP's side, and the likelihood of him getting into what his girlfriend and mother talk about on the post is low. My friends were way too shy to tell my mother how much they love her style. We only got to the point we are now because when my mother does her yearly closet purging to make room for new things, I brought up to her that my friends would kill to have a lot of the stuff she was just going to donate. Not a single one of them felt comfortable asking for her hand-me-downs, even though 2 of them have been my best friends since we were 8, and the other one had been one of my best friends since I was 16 and she was 14, and they've all been in my house and around my mother at least once a week over the past 8-16 years.
Many unanswered questions...
Why not ask at the time??? Hey I have that same jacket...
Accusations of stealing is very common in people with dementia. My SO's mom is a PSW and gets accused of stealing random baubles about 3 times a day.
Have you actually seen your GF with the items? Is your mother showing other signs of forgetfulness or confusion? You might want to get her to the doctor and be on the lookout for other signs of dementia or Alzheimer's. I just find it hard to believe that they happen to share the same size and taste in clothing and that your GF would lie and steal if there's nothing in her past like this.
She's the female Robinhood.Giphy
Maybe the GF is not taking them for herself but for her mother or something.
Maybe it's mom.
Honestly, mothers sometimes try to alienate their son's girlfriends and might lie in order to get them to end the relationship. I would investigate and try to see if the accusations are really true before confronting your girlfriend. Maybe try to notice her clothing more and do a quick check up on her wardrobe.
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.