Fragile masculinity can take a hike. We are here for positive reinforcement.
Men are too rarely validated and told they are beautiful or good people. For some reason, it's in men's heads that we can't share information like that with one another. That's bogus. But until society as a whole gets over this, men have to get that from someplace.
Thankfully, most women don't deal with that bull.
Here were some of those answers.
Flowers Aren't Just For Saying Sorry, Fam
I often bring flowers from time to time, not just for special occasions but simply to brighten the day.
One girl I was dating said, "You make me feel special every day - and the flowers are beautiful, too."
Our headquarters had a little convenience store in it. I would stop by sometimes to get my wife her favorite candy bar. The lady working there would always ask "so, what did you screw up this time?" I told her "look, do you wait until your car engine seizes before you change the oil? No, you put care and preventative maintenance into it."
Does my Female Boss count?
"Alcp, if you saw half the people we interview for positions at this company, you'd understand why we're so excited when we meet someone like you"
That one hit my feels as a young man fresh into the job market.
The Snack Hero Gotham Needs
I was in college and walking between classes and decided to get a snack from a vending machine. The girl in front of me put her order in, but the item got stuck against the glass and apparently she didn't have any more and was a tad upset. I stepped up, ordered the item directly above her item, it vended correctly and jarred her item loose in the process. She had a big beaming smile and said "My hero!".
I was paying for a pizza for supper and as the girl at the till was tallying the order she cut herself off mid-sentence to say "Wow your eyes are gorgeous!"
I turned redder than the tomato sauce.
My eyes (light blue) is easily the feature I get the most compliments on. Even still, it's usually not until after we at least know each other or in context of a date. On the rare occasions I get a random compliment from a girl I don't know, I almost always blush and it's pretty obvious.
The first time I had sex with this girl, we were both coming off a bit of a dry spell. Mid-coitus, she quite unexpectedly yelled out "you're so much better than a vibrator!" We're married now.
Hey man, the world is automating, and it's putting us all out of jobs. At least you have re-runs of old John Wayne movies to ease the pain.
Wait, But Why ISN'T There A Relationship Yelp
An ex girlfriend and I have remained friends. When discussing our current dating lives over a drink, she told me that if there was a Yelp for people she'd give me an amazing review. Felt pretty fantastic that someone who it didnt work out with relationship wise, still saw a lot of good in me.
Still A Better Love Story Than Twilight
"Your chest is the best pillow"
I was crazy about her from the moment I met her, and she seemed to be pretty into me. Our first date went from grabbing lunch to hanging out for the next twelve hours, just talkin and walking around.
A few dates later we had done pretty much the same thing, but this time neither of us wanted to go home and we weren't quite at the "come back to my place" stage. So we strung a hammock up in a park and fell asleep in each other's arms.
We're coming up on our one year anniversary, and we're on course for many more.
I love you Bebu.
Cordial, Yet ColdGiphy
So I was working as a barista, and this girl had just started working with me. I'd say she's out of my league but that's just me. Anyway, we're working together and I see one of my ex's come in. Gathering myself, I quickly talked to to her and acted quite professional. She was asking about a job. Later on, my new coworker pulled me aside, "Kurdy, why were you acting so cold with her." "Oh that's one of my ex's" "Really? You are way to attractive for her" my self-esteem is abysmal, but she really helped me out. I feel confident again.
The Opposite Of LooksGiphy
A coworker who I would walk to the bus station with said "I feel safe with you" and as a big hairy dude with resting murder face and a deep voice, that was something absolutely new to me. It's been 6 years and I still think about that compliment.
Dude, that feeling is f*cking amazing. I've got the same resting murder face, long hair and a beard, I wear leather jackets and I look "dangerous" as people have told me. Getting told "I feel safe with you" is quite honestly the best compliment you can receive, because so many people just think you're some scary monster who's out to get them when in reality you'd give your life for them even though you don't know them, or at least I would, regardless of whether I knew them or not.
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.