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Happily Married Couple Shares Their Elaborately Thought Out Rules For A Threesome With Escort

A Holy Trinity...

Redditor pearbanana took to the internet to share a few sexy, intimate details about her marriage. Sometimes... all you need is a guest star to shake things up. But not without some ground rules! How We Survived a Threesome


My husband and I have a really good relationship. We know each other so well and have very similar needs and goals in life. Our sex life has been on fire lately. One aspect in particular that had been receiving more attention was dirty talk regarding a threesome (FFM).

I don't identify as straight, and although having strong emotional attachments, have never sexually been with a woman. When I met my partner I could have gone my whole life never having explored that route and I would have been satisfied. But once the dirty talking began, it certainly made my mind wander.

Perhaps it started with a wig, or a statement like "I wish I could sleep two of you at the same time" and it progressed from there. Overtime it developed into explicit descriptions of what we wanted to see or do with one another + 1. It began as something brought up during the act, and then became fuel that ignited it.

As it became more and more of a serious discussion we were more aware of the possible consequences. Many relationships don't survive the aftermath of it. So we did our homework. We discussed who, where, when, and what.

We decided that to avoid any sort of relationship complications between us and the third, we would hire a professional (which is not illegal where we live). This way we did not have to worry about it being a friend or trying to pick someone up online or in the world - which isn't an aspect that appealed to either of us. We both agreed that it was more important that I chose and that she checked off my boxes. Petite, natural breasts, and if she had an alt look to her that was a bonus, although it was not a common finding. On top of that, she obviously had to be comfortable with couples. This was the most difficult part because many places didn't advertise this openly. After some disappointing phone calls, we came across one profile, and I basically made the real life equivalent of the heart eye emoji. Brightly dyed hair, very visible tattoos and an ass that was an 11/10. After some fumbling with setting it up, we had finally booked it, and the anticipation gutters set in.

In case the event did not go well, I did not want it to take place in our house. I did not want to be reminded of it in the space that I live in daily. We opted to rent a hotel room. Also a king sized bed allowed for a lot more leg room.

There were a few stipulations about when - we wanted it on a Saturday because of our work schedules. I regularly get waxed (and don't shave in between) so I wanted to make sure that it was recently done. And obviously I didn't want to be on my period.

What would take place was the longest most thought out discussion. What were our boundaries, what could each person do to one another? We opted to treat it as a two time event with multiple stages. Basically in the first event (which is what happened) the contact between my husband and the third would be minimal, and the contact between myself and my husband would slowly increase through the stages. We broke it down like this

Stage 1: women and do whatever, man watches, can talk but nothing super explicit or controlling. Stage 2: women can still do anything, husband and wife can go to third base, no deliberate contact between husband and third Stage 3: women can still do anything, husband and wife can have sex, light touching between husband and third but no penetration.

And then if that all went well we would have a second event wherein he would play more or a role (FMF).

We typed all this up and handed it to the third before we began to make sure we were all on the same page (literally and figuratively).

The threesome itself was very enjoyable. Slightly awkward at first while we got into the rhythm of things - that's the only downside to paying someone, you can't really be too certain of how much they are actually enjoying it. But at the same time it takes away the pressure to have all three people being satisfied at once.

Afterwards we talked, shared pictures of our pets and then she left. We lay on the bed together for a bit. I was surprised at how I felt. Nothing felt bad, nothing felt like a boundary had been crossed. It didn't feel like our marriage had been contaminated or was at risk for falling apart. It felt like we hung out with someone and then they left, we just happened to have all been naked in between.

Part of our aftercare was having a bath. So once we were home (we didn't stay at the hotel) we had an amazingly relaxing bath and then had sex again. And it felt just as good as it did before having a threesome.

And that's how we survived a threesome.

Admit it... who is taking notes?!

Trailblazers...

Thanks for posting this. It's a good corrective to the posts that are like, "We talked about having a threesome when we were really drunk, felt into it so just went ahead and did it that night with my best friend, I got left out and my partner was basically just having sex with them, it was the worst night of my life, how will our marriage survive?"

I really like the way you did it with the various steps, and how you recognized the potential for jealousy and negative emotions and created spaces and pauses for reflection where each person could decide if they wanted to continue.

halcyonsword

Preparation is key! 

Finally, someone goes in prepared and with good communication!

Stridercal

Once More?

Are you going to have the second event? And would you keep the same girl?

phantasmagoria3

Yes we are going to go ahead with it (within a couple months). And as long as she is still working, we would go with her again.

pearbanana

Did hubs get a fair share?

I want to try something similar. Is there a reason you did the stages the way you did (i.e. Your husband being left out for the first 2/3rds?) Did he feel left out at all? Is this how you would plan future events or was it just to protect against ruining your first experience due to jealousy? Thanks for answering my questions!

petertree

Basically we were both okay with me being with a woman, I wanted to explore that sided my sexuality and he thought it was hot as hell. He said he would be okay if he only got to watch so there was no pressure to keep moving through the stages. He got plenty of mental images which he is quite happy with.

We would still take it slow. He thinks it would be best for him to watch then join in again because he'll last longer.

pearbanana

Always go with a Pro! 

I agree with this. There are far too many couples trying to go into a situation like this with a random 'insert hot bi chick here' not thinking that she would be an actual human woman with needs, desires and emotions of her own.

This is one of many reasons that this profession is so important. There is a real need.

wittypunthatspunny

Go with the flow...

My girlfriend at the time worked out our trike w/ her girlfriend before I even knew it was going to happen.

We had talked and fantasized about it for a while before we did it. It was just kind of "set up" for me when I got to my GF's place. They had a whole scene arranged on he living room w lots of pillows and comforters like a grown up sleep over and they just basically started making up while I watched.

I think it's good to have boundaries in place for everyone because maybe everyone may not have a comfort level w the other person that my GF had w her girlfriend.

So it just kind of flowed with us.

cleverbutnotoverlyso

Is your title a little off?

Anyone else a little confused here? I mean sure, it's a threesome in that three people were present, but assuming you haven't done the second event, you basically had sex with another woman while he watched.

In this case where your main attraction is men and his is to women, the most potential for jealousy is on your end. And the most potential for him to deviate from the relationship is his end. Neither is possible because he didn't have sex with her. That's not to say he was left out or didn't enjoy the experience which is apparent from the amount of communication and planning that went into this, however, I think it's a bit ambitious to say "How we survived a threesome" when really you're the only one who had sex with two different people, but not together.

I commend you on your write-up. Hopefully, the second event goes as planned.

Let's all try...

I really like that it worked out for you and your husband and I'm excited to see such excellent planning! I hope you can both take the next step!

I am absolutely positive he enjoyed it but I hope he's ok with everything continuing this way, and I'm curious about your plans for the next step, which could include him being a full participant. I think after a certain point, for me at least, I would feel like I was simply being present while my wife explored her own sexuality.

Alex-Murphy

Break the boundaries...

Purely anecdotal but - the feeling I get as a lesbian is that a lot of guys would be 100% on board - at least in theory - to watching their female partner having sex with another woman, even if meant the guy himself couldn't interact a lot with that third person.

I mean, there's a reason why it's a recurring joke in the lesbian community to poke fun at people asking how lesbians have sex. Some people really and truly just don't see it as "real sex."

Disclaimer: not weighing in on OP's experience. IMO everyone comes out a winner if the boundaries were discussed and adhered to. OP and her partner seem to be on the same wavelength.

Just do you! Forget the haters! They jealous! 

I admire your patience while people mildly criticize the terminology you chose to utilize for a situation that sounds like it was enjoyable and consensual between all members. I think it doesn't matter how you label the act, it sounds like a threesome in that three people did sexy stuff together and it doesn't really matter too much. It sounds like you, OP, have kept healthy communication with your partner about it all and that's all that matters. Sounds like fun!

wheredoesthetimego69

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Patcharin Saenlakon / EyeEm / Getty Images

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