Heartbroken Florists Share The Saddest Thing They've Ever Been Asked To Write On A Card.

Flowers are beautiful and versatile. They're our way of saying "Happy Birthday", "Happy Anniversary", or "Just thinking of you." And in times of loss and sorrow, flowers can say a lot more. Here, heartbroken florists share the saddest message they've ever been asked to write on a bouquet card.


28. Don't forget about us.

My grandmother was a florist for many years. I used to go to the greenhouse with her all the time and watch her make these amazing flower arrangements. One day, I was visiting and she's just got done making a stunning bouquet with a small card in the center. The card read, "Eric, I'm sorry to have heard of your recent tragedy. You'll forever be missed by us all."

Turns out Eric was just getting married - the arrangement was from his drinking buddies.


27. Wherever he is, I hope he's still writing poems.

We had a standing order for a weekly bouquet. This was an exclusive shop in an affluent area, and the gentleman clearly had enough money to send something showy to his beloved wife on a regular basis. What struck me was that he would personally call in a new poem with each order. And these weren't Shakespeare quotes, by any means. All were summoned from the depths of his own creativity.

I was tasked with painstakingly transcribing his weekly poem onto the card. They had been married for a long time, and you can imagine how these poems would have devolved into Cornyville.

Yet, he never missed a single one, while I was there. We all marveled at how he always took the time from running his large company to write a lovestruck message to his wife every week. He never had a secretary call in the order. I was always touched to take the call from that old guy.

Then one day, a woman called in with the poem. It was quite a bit different (perhaps lifted from a Hallmark card). As I filled out the order form, she explained that her father had experienced a debilitating stroke, and she would be providing the poetry from that point forward.

The deliveries stopped shortly thereafter.


26. Forever play buddies.

I once saw a card in some flowers at a little boys gravesite. Scattered around it were some of what I assume we're his favourite action figures in life, and on the card (presumably from a brother or friend), "I keep coming to play with you but it just isn't the same."

Hit me right in the feels.


25. A heartwarming message from the other side.

I am not a florist, but a few years ago on the day before his mom's birthday, my friend ordered her flowers. On the card he wrote something along the lines of, "Happy birthday, Mom! I'll love you always." And he died in the middle of the night.

The next day, in the middle of her mourning someone came and delivered her those flowers.


24. Take your flowers, you spoiled little jerk.

Only slightly on topic, but I received an amusing card with a bouquet once. My mom had been dating this guy (we'll call him Bobby) who absolutely spoiled her. I'm talking massive bouquets delivered to her office at least twice a week. By the weekend, her kitchen table would be covered in these elaborate, beautiful arrangements.

I came round to visit one evening & jokingly said, "Wow, what a spoiled little jerk!" The next week at work, I received a pretty little bouquet with a card that read, "Now you're a spoiled little jerk, too. Love, Bobby."

I always wondered what the florist who wrote that out thought.


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23. Justice for all.

When my friend started dating his boyfriend, I think they were going through a lot. He called a florist and asked her to write "Just us two".

His boyfriend received the flowers saying "Justice II". No name signed. He wasn't sure if someone was after him.

They've been together for years now and this summer they bought a boat.

They named it Justice II.


22. Alright, who's chopping onions?

My mom was a floral arrangement "specialist". A young woman came in asking for lilies and rosebuds with baby's breath. My mom put it together for her and asked what she wanted on the card. The woman replied, "To Lily, the breath of your baby shall forever bloom, in our hearts and yours."

She told my mom her sister's daughter died of SIDS the day before.


21. Sometimes we positively affect people without even knowing it.

Not a florist, but I once had flowers delivered to my office and the card said, "I know I will never see you again but I wanted to thank you for changing my life".

I have no idea who they were from.


20. A special note says a thousand words.

My wife was a florist. I've seen her write messages many times. She was always an emotional girl, but tried to never show it. It even hurt me just watching her write letters to families that were in the hospital. Even if it was just a "Get well soon!" message, she wrote it multiple times just to get it right. Because she knew that it mattered a lot to that family.

I've also seen her write very happy letters as well. She always had a way with words, that's probably why she has that job in the first place, along with her enjoyment of plants. She would always plant vegetables and flowers in the backyard, even now they grow vigorously. They've overgrown a bit to be honest, but I've been taking care of them.

I never had a green-thumb like her, so I could never grow what she grew. I would just watch her and try to learn from her. Every day when she came home from work, she would always bring one flower from work to me. Sometimes they're common carnations, other time they're colorful orchids.

She would always have one letter on there that she would give to me.

"I love you."

"I shine the brightest when I'm around you."

"Don't forget to grab the right pasta for dinner this time!"

Things like that. Sometimes it's cheesy, sometimes they're funny. No matter what they were, they put a smile on my face (continued).

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But this isn't about funny or happy cards.

Ranunculus was my wife's favorite flower, she always talked about how she loved how it spirals in and how they could bud out beautifully. She always saw them as the "inner beauty" kind of flower, something always wanted. She never saw the fact that she radiated beauty both in and out.

The ranunculus, Those are the ones I put on her grave. She was the one that had a way with words, I never did. It hurts me knowing that I could never find the right words to tell her that I miss her, to tell her that I loved her dearly. She wrote a message to me every day, and I couldn't think of one. The sight of flowers reminds me of her, and I feel pangs in my heart and an empty-hollow feel within my guts.

I feel even more grief knowing that I threw those letters away, thinking I will get more throughout my life, but just like that. She's gone.

I can think of the words of pain and sorrow I feel when I think of her, but I can never write it to tell her, and I hate myself for it. My hands get shaky and I can never muster up and write to her, to tell her that I love her. Even now, I feel my hands get jittery from nervousness as I type this comment. She wrote with precision and meaning behind it, and I can't even write right.

So, the saddest letter I've ever had to write, was none at all.


19. That flower was a part of her.

Not something I had to write, but something I experienced:

I take care of the orchids in a floral store and had a young woman come in, maybe in her early 20's. She was very sweet, attentive, and wanted to know about everything we had, but eventually settled on an orchid. She was very excited about moving into a new home and had me help her find a flower that would brighten up the place. She listened very closely to the directions I gave her for caring for her new plant (it was a gorgeous plum & white blossom, and very hardy), and even had me write them down for her. I used store stationary and even wrote my name in the card & told her to come see me if she had any questions at all.

About a month and a half later, an older man comes in with the orchid, possibly her father. He'd seen my name and the name of our store on the card & brought it back to us. The young woman had passed away in an accident shortly after moving, and he didn't know how to care for the plant. It was in great shape, I could tell she'd been taking good care of it, but he didn't want anything to do with it. He asked me to refund it and put it back on the shelves, as even with the directions he wasn't sure he could take care of it, and even if he could, he didn't want it around. I think it reminded him of her too much.

I have a small amount of oversight in the department, so I managed to trade him the orchids for a funeral bouquet that was worth a lot more. I was supposed to put the orchid back on display, but I couldn't bear to. I got permission to bring it home with me, but even with all the care I gave it, it died a couple weeks later.

I don't know if flowers can miss people, but part of me likes to think this one did.


18. The first cut is the deepest.

When I was in high school, my best friend's mom owned the local florist shop. Small town, so everybody ordered all their prom stuff from her and she'd be up for days just filling orders. Me and my friend decided to help her out.

A little back story: I had been dating a guy for about 3 years. We were high school sweethearts. He was the first boy I ever loved. So anyways, he says that he can't go to prom this year because his family is going out of town to visit his sister who is away at college. I think, ok no big deal.

But then, as I'm filling orders in the flower shop, I pick up the order form from none other than my high school sweetheart. Except it had a different girl's name on it. There was no Note, but I was absolutely heartbroken. Even my best friend knew he was taking somebody else to the prom. I called my dad sobbing, who then must have called him, because he showed up about 10 minutes later to apologize and try to console me.

That was the first time a boy broke my heart and I'll never forget it.


17. He wanted to speak to her after he was gone.

The florist didn't write it, my grandfather did:

"Happy anniversary. I'll always love you. Fife"

It was delivered on their 40th anniversary. Five months after he had passed from colon cancer. He had his son (my uncle) get the card and he wrote it a week before he passed. My uncle then saved it and sent it with the flowers my grandfather had ordered for her.

We found the card again when she passed away. She had kept it stashed in one of his old cigar boxes with a stack of other love notes he'd sent her through the years (most when he was overseas in WW2).

Fife was his pet name from my grandmother.


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16. That's one way to say it.

I was a trainee florist when I was 17. The saddest one I had was a phone order from a gentleman who wanted a bouquet of flowers with the note, "Sorry I ruined your life" to his ex lover.


15. Wait, who is this for?

Not really sad, but I'm sure it made the florist wonder. In Finland, it's common when someone has a baby to get them a flower arrangement that consists of a large bouquet with a small bouquet tied to it with a ribbon. The idea is that cutting the ribbon is like cutting the umbilical cord.

Before he moved here and we got married, my husband lived in the USA. One Valentine's day he called up a florist near my office, ordered one of those new baby bouquets, and had them write in English something like "Happy Valentine's day. I love you."

Both the florist and my coworkers were very confused when they delivered the flowers to me at work. Turns out, he had picked that bouquet because he wanted my daughter to get flowers, too. It was sweet and a little weird at the same time, much like him.


14. Even a day can be a lifetime.

Only here for a day, however his memory will live forever.

Unfortunately this was a close friends baby who lived for 9 hours after birth before passing away. I cannot even begin to comprehend the pain that they felt, 9 months of eagerly waiting to meet their first child and it's all just ripped away. They have three kids now, but no parent should have to bury their child.


13. Love never dies.

A man paid for flowers to be left at his wife's graveside once a month. Always wrote "I love and miss you" on it. Not the saddest thing to write, but just the idea of it. He always called to make sure we didn't forget, too.


12. It's not just a business.

Besides working for a bank for three years and college I've spent my entire 28 years in the flower industry. My mom has owned a shop since I was two, my dad owned a greenhouse, etc. It's the family business.

The saddest thing I can think of? There's too much. The mother whose six year old dreamed of having a fairy tale wedding... when she died of cancer she gave her a fairy tale funeral.

The families that take flowers to their infant's grave. It's between twenty years but they're still just a baby to them. Words on an enclosure card just can't describe sadness like I've seen.

I've met with families to discuss funeral arrangements countless times. I've seen deceased people weekly, if not daily since I was a little boy. These people are friends and family, members of my small community. It takes an emotional toll. I'm sure to some florists it's just business but not to us.


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11. A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.

My mom once sent me flowers with a card that said, "Hope this isn't the nail in the coffin."

Why you might ask? Because even though my mom ordered a bouquet with NO ROSES, the last time, There were roses in the bouquet. I'm allergic to roses. Turns out the next bouquet still had roses. Both were supposed to be get well soon flowers after a series of surgeries I was having.

The second time she called to complain because her order said on it NO ROSES, but the place essentially said they did substitutions (because the bouquet she picked had like some super seasonal flower) at their discretion, and she could eat it. She did a yelp review and they changed their tune... by sending a new bouquet to me, OF ROSES. After that we just had to laugh. I mean, I get the roses are expensive and that's what most people want, but really? REALLY?


10. One sentence is all it takes.

I worked for a florist delivering flowers all through college.

The saddest was a delivery of yellow roses I made to a notably attractive young lady. The card said: "I hope he'll love you as much as I did - and still do ..."

She just stood there, reading the note back to me, and then she burst into tears. It's something that made a lasting impression on me.


9. Wise and beautiful words.

A somewhat related story (i.e. a sad quote). My brother died of an extremely rare disease when he was seven years old. I was two at the time. About a year or two ago I came across a memo my dad wrote for the expat community to inform people of the loss (we were living in Tanzania at the time). The part that hit me the most was:

A life, no matter how short, is a lifetime.


8. He went too soon.

My shop used to do funerals. We had a couple come in once and they just did not seem all there, taking the order was very difficult but eventually we got them sorted out with a nice little spray-blue arrangement for a casket and some blue and white standing arrangements.

Turns out they had just lost their 4-year-old son and were actually fresh in our shop from the funeral home where they choose the casket. We got orders the rest of the week from their friends and relatives with cards like "heartbroken for you" and "he was the sweetest boy". Having seen them as they went through it made every card hard to write.


7. A little bit of comedic relief.

Our family got a cat when I was in high school, and he died of kidney failure when he was about 8. He loved my mom more any ways, his name was Tucker.

My husband and I sent flowers to my mom at work, but the florist must have misheard me over the phone because she wrote, Were sorry about Puckers and we love you.

My mom said when she got the flowers it put the biggest smile on her face and she started laughing, and she wasn't so sad about him passing. I keep the picture on my phone bc it's on if my favorites.


6. The woman two rows over.

Not a florist, but this most recent Memorial Day was the first one without my grandpa. It has been a family tradition to all go to the cemetery and lay flowers on the great-grandparents graves and this was the first one where grandpa would be joining that list. The flower selection at the store was pretty picked over (which is what happens when you wait to buy flowers the morning of), but with my floral design skills I picked up practicing arranging flowers for my upcoming wedding, I was confident I could arrange something pretty for all three headstones.

At the cemetery I am arranging the various bouquets... mom, grandma and the aunts are losing it with grief until they noticed this little old man two rows behind us. He looked so sad. He was kneeling at a grave, tearing up as he tried to stick a rose in the little flower jar often installed with a headstone (continued).

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We learned that his wife of 60 years died a few days before grandpa and that he wanted to keep the roses he brought fresh looking and watered. He told us that he wasn't good at that sort of thing and he doesn't want to embarrass the memory of his wife by having dead flowers on her grave. He didn't have any family in town and it was getting harder for him to do things. His wife had been why he got every morning and he was afraid that when he died, no one would put flowers on her grave. We just couldn't let that happen, not on that day.

So the aunts and my grandma talked to him about his wife while they watched my mom and I created a 4th little bundle of flowers to add to his failing roses. I recut the stems, added some of our flower food to the water and created a pretty little bouquet for his wife's headstone. We promised that we would look over his wife's grave too, and make sure that her flowers always looked pretty.

Now every Memorial Day, we will honor my great grandparents, grandpa and the woman two rows over.


5. He made the right choice.

I had a guy come into our shop to send flowers to his SO. I asked what he would like on the card, and he said, "Can you put 'Sorry you were such a jerk last night. Can we have sex now?'"

I told him that I'd write whatever he wanted, but that it might defeat the purpose of sending the flowers. He opted for, "I'm sorry and I love you."


4. Tragedy doesn't have good timing.

The florist I work at prints the cards and we don't have to hand write them. The sympathy cards are always sad, but the worst one I've read was something along the lines of, "I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother so soon after the loss of your parents." I upgraded that arrangement a bit and I know it wouldn't make the situation any better, but I wanted to make sure the flowers they received were extra nice.


3. Sounds like the beginning of a Sherlock episode.

Not necessarily sad, but weird. After my dad's funeral, we were looking at the various arrangements and the cards. A rather lovely one came from my dad's old boss.

Nice, except he had supposedly died 3-4 years earlier. He went off the grid, nobody heard from him, eventually everyone in the business said he died.

Never did see him.


2. Always keeping tabs.

Different kind of sad, I guess, and the card itself was actually fine-- Just the usual sappy little love note, signed by "your secret admirer." The guy came to one of the shops, and paid in cash.

When the delivery came, the girl at the door panicked and started crying, demanding to know who it was from. Our drivers don't have that information, but stayed with her and tried to console her while the main shop was called and payment info was checked. Since he didn't use a card, we couldn't have told her even in a best-case scenario. We had no info at all. She didn't want the flowers, so the driver brought them back.

Eventually, the shop was contacted and asked to go through their security camera footage, because the girl evidently had a long-term stalker who she had moved to get away from. Don't know the end of the story, unfortunately, but I always was relieved when the "secret admirers" I dealt with paid with a credit card.


1. Right in the feels.

I helped a cute and quiet boy and his father make an arrangement and they had "Happy birthday, mommy" on the card. I told the boy, "I bet your mommy will LOVE this. Give her a hug with it, too!"

The boy teared up and said he didn't think he could make his hug reach heaven and he hoped she could see the flowers on her grave.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.