Little Known Facts About The Mysterious Ninja Revealed.
Let me tell you, it wasn't easy to put together this list. Ninjas have been hiding their secret techniques for hundreds of years, that's what makes them so feared and cool.
Here are 17 facts and legends about the mysterious shinobi. Enjoy! And make sure to check out the sources for more.
1. The eye of the tiger.
Ninjas had a knack for thinking outside the box, and one of the most important things they needed to keep track of during missions was time. In absence of a sundial or sandglass, a ninja trained in nekome-jutsu could actually tell the time by finding a common house-cat and looking into its eyes to tell the hour by how open the aperture was. A cats eyes are fully round in the twilight hours, and reduce in size to an oval and eventually a slit as the sun moves higher in the sky.
2. With all the force of a raging current.
While the records of ninjas during the warring states period are quite scant, by the time peace arrived in the 1600s ninjas started to record their skills and tools in manuals. There are an estimated 400-500 of these manuals across Japan, but the most famous is the ninja bible known as the Bansenshukai, written in 1676. The title means Ten Thousand Rivers Flow Into the Sea, which is a metaphor for the plethora of skills and knowledge contained in the book coming from many sources.
The Bansenshukai isnt just a book about the most efficient way to kill people either. The book contains two volumes on thought and philosophy, four volumes on leadership and two volumes on astrology. Ninja skills are divided into three volumes on Yo-nin open disguise, In-nin hidden infiltration and five volumes on tools and weapons.
3. The many ways of the sword.
While ninja and samurai are often made out to be mortal enemies in fiction, this is mostly due to their different approach to combat rather than a historical rivalry. Samurai werent just a type of warrior, but a martial social class that was a part of the nobility. They served their lord for status rather than money and were deeply ingrained in the political structure of Japan. Ninja by contrast didnt come from fixed social classes and while they were certainly philosophical, their work was treated more like a profession than a way of life by medieval Japanese society.
A samurais bushido training put more emphasis on face to face combat with heavy armour, favouring weapons like swords, spears and bows. Ninjustu required little to no armour and rarely required using weaponry as often as samurai, making them more like special forces than fighters. A good daimyo knew there was equal need for both kinds of warriors, so he made sure his samurai were well respected and his shinobi mercenaries were well paid.
4. On the outside of society.
A popular myth is that the ninja ranks were made of humble peasants. In truth a ninja could come from both samurai and commoner classes, but it was this lack of defined status that made preserving their order difficult during peacetime. (Story continues..)
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Lucky ninjas could join police forces like the rogue samurai-hunter doshin or even become samurai themselves. As time progressed the ninja became even lower in status, but remained in a higher position that most actual peasants.
5. Paint it blue.
The black colour of the stereotypical ninja clothing is also a matter of some contention. According to experts most ninja greatly favoured dark blue over black, though there are many reasons this might be the case. Using plants native to Japan, indigo dye was much cheaper and more available than black dye. It was also a more common colour among commoners and allowed the ninja to blend more easily into crowds. However some ninja manuals like the Yoshimori Hyakushu give the following advice; On a moonlit night, wearing white is unobtrusive. While on a moonless night you should be dressed in black.
Another popular misconception of the classic ninja outfit that should be understood in its historical context is the mask. In Edo-era Japan, masks were actually quite common and were used by people who didnt want to be identified when they visited illicit parts of the city. The association with ninja might also come from the masks of nusubito (bandits), who often crossed paths with shinobi and were sometimes known to have them in their ranks as well.
6. The Age of the Ninja.
The ninja craft thrived during Japans Sengoku period. The samurai lords, known as Daimyo, had broken the island of Japan into individual states that were constantly plotting and warring with each other. As such, espionage, infiltration and murder were highly in-demand skills for the medieval Japanese job market. After 1600, Japan became unified by the Tokugawa shogunate and the need for ninja declined with the relative peace.
7. Ninjas don't wish on stars, they throw them.
Shuriken have less historical connection to ninjas than movies and video games make it seem. Meaning sword hidden in users hand, it was a tactical throwing weapon that was also used by samurai to supplement their main bladed weapons. (Story continues..)
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Coming in many forms, including the classic four pointed star as well as a straight blade that resembled a dart. The idea was to maim or divert an enemy charging in on the offensive. Besides their use in battle, shuriken were easily concealed, which was likely where their association with ninjas comes from.
8. Silk hiding steel.
Female ninjas were known as kunoichi and trained mostly in lightweight, easily concealed weapons unavailable to their male counterparts. Most famous of these was the kanzashi, a sharpened ornamental hairpin that could be coated in poison and easily hidden in ones hair-do. Banded metal or bamboo claws known as neko-te were also popular.
9. The name of the shadow.
The origins of the word ninja come from medieval Chinese reading of the original Japanese ideogram meaning shinobi no mono. In Japanese, Shinobi can be interpreted as a verb meaning to hide/steal away and Mono is read as a person. Historically the word ninja was not used very often, but became popular due to being easier for Western speakers to pronounce than shinobi. Some other common names used for ninja in the past include monomi one who sees, nokizaru macaque on the roof, rappa ruffian, kusa grass and Iga-mono one from Iga.
10. Tools of the trade.
While the smoke bomb is easily the most recognizable explosive in the ninjas arsenal, most were trained in the usage of many incendiary weapons. Like a feudal MI6, ninja manuals contain all kinds of high tech blueprints for tools like land mines, hand grenades and waterproof torches. (Story continues...)
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Ninjas were also some of the first warriors in Japan to adopt firearms, first making them out of bamboo and later using Portuguese guns for purposes of distracting the enemy.
11. Honor for the clan.
While there were many groups of ninja throughout Japan, the most famous and sought after were the Koga and Iga clans. The Iga clan was descended from Buddhist monks and masterless samurai known as ronin who formed their own independent region after the desecration of their temples. They were masters of asymmetrical warfare and stealth. Frequently finding themselves in the employment of the imperial family.
Meanwhile the Koga clan rose to prominence after Mochizuki Saburo Kenie proved his valour in battle and awarded part of the Omi province. The Koga clan became experts in political maneuvering and espionage, forming false armies to throw off suspicion and playing on all sides as double or even triple agents.
12. You've gotta hand it to them.
Ninja hand gestures are actually an adoption of Buddhist meditation techniques known as kuji. The fast gestures served as a way to clear the mind and focus it towards a specific intention. Though it later became associated with the use of magic powers, the hand seals may have actually worked to give the ninja confidence and calm in a chaotic situation.
13. The ninja war.
Wary of their growing reputation and connection to the imperial family, legendary warlord Oda Nobunaga sent ten-thousand trained samurai led by his son Oda Nobukatsu to attack the Iga clan in 1579. With their intimate knowledge of their surroundings and fortified defences, the Iga ninja handily defeated Nobukatsu while suffering minimal casualties of their own. (Story continues...)
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Enraged that his son was defeated by a group of lowly ninja, Nobunaga sent a second force of 60,000 samurai in 1581 for a battle that became known as the Tenshou Iga Rebellion. While they fought bravely, the Iga ninja were pushed back to only two castles and both sides were forced to negotiate a ceasefire due to heavy casualties.
14. The last ninja.
Although the claim is disputed, the last living ninja to have learned the traditional arts directly is a man named Jinichi Kawakami. Becoming the 21st head of the Ban clan at the age of nineteen, Kawakami was trained to hear a pin drop on a wooden floor and meditate on a candle alongside training in martial arts and spycraft. Also an engineer by trade, Kawakami runs the Iga-ryu Ninja Museum and helps to study the history of shinobi at Mie University.
He has decided to let the lineage end with him and refuses to take on an apprentice, citing the fact that ninjas simply dont fit with the modern day.
15. From where you least suspect them.
The iconic black garb of the ninja is actually a fictional invention of Bunraku puppet theatre. Puppeteers would dress in all black as not to distract the audience from the show. However, in an interesting bit of meta-theatre these puppeteers would sometimes intervene in the action to represent an invisible ninja assassin.
16. The most secret of service.
The most famous ninja of the Iga clan was the Devil of Iga Hattori Hanzo. During the warring states period, Hanzo offered a secret passage through Iga and Koga to future Shogun Tokugawa Ieyasu after the assassination of Oda Nobunaga. In gratitude, Ieyasu made two hundred Iga warriors into the elite guard for his capital in Edo (now modern Tokyo). (Story continues...)
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The Iga ninjas were responsible for spying and protecting key entrances to the Edo castle.
17. The shinobi curriculum.
Modern ninjutsu is often thought of as a form of hand to hand combat, but this is mostly a modern invention exported to the West due to interest in martial arts. Instead of simply focusing on combat, most forms of ninjutsu focused on developing the wide variety of skills shinobi would need to complete their missions. The Togakure ryu, written almost eight hundred years ago, trains its adherents in eighteen psychological and practical skills in particular;
Seishin Teki Kyoyo (Spiritual Refinement): The goal was to give the ninja a deep and accurate understanding of himself, his strengths and weakness and how his presence would affect the battle. Personality traits could mean the difference between life or death in how a compromising situation was handled. So the ninja would be required to understand clearly his intentions, commitments and personal motivations through philosophy and self development. A warrior-philosopher of the Tokagure school would therefore be motivated by love or reverence rather than a desire to commit violence or attain personal wealth.
Tai Jutsu (Unarmed Combat): Skills of striking and blocking, especially grappling, choking and escaping the grabs of others. Tai Jutsu also included non-combat exercises like silent movement, rolling, leaping and tumbling.
Ninja Ken (Sword Combat): The ninjas primary fighting tool was a short single edged blade called the hada. This training was divided into two distinct skills of equal importance. The ability to fast draw, revealing the weapon and striking simultaneously as well as fencing with other armed attackers.
Bo Jutsu (Staff Combat): Fighting with the traditional bo long staff and hand half staff, which were about six and three feet long respectively. This training could be especially useful as staves were easy to conceal weapons inside of and could be carried in public without much trouble.
Shuriken Jutsu (Throwing Blade Combat): Not only shuriken, but darts and spikes constructed for throwing as well. The shuriken used by the Togakure was a special four pointed star, thrown with a flat spinning motion that hit the target with a sawing effect.
Yari Jutsu and Naginata Jutsu (Spear and Halberd Combat): Tokagure ninja were taught to use standard Japanese spears for piercing attacks against heavily armed opponents, but also used a type of spear called a kami-yari. This sickle-lance used a hook at the base of the spear to snag enemies or their weapons with ease. The naginata and larger bisen-to on the other hand were more like spears with a short blade attached for slashing rather than stabbing. This made it more proficient at knocking down attackers and grounding mounted samurai.
Kusari Gama (Chain and Sickle Combat): A chain roughly six to nine feet in length and weighted at one end was attached to the handle of a traditional grain cutting tool. The combination of these two devices made for an extremely powerful defensive weapon. The chain would be used to block or ensnare the enemies weapon, and follow up with a swift blow from the blade.
Kayaku Jutsu (Fire and Explosives): Ninjas were experts in timing, placing and rigging the finicky explosives of the time. While these skills mostly centred around demolition and distraction, black powder and the strategic application of firearms were later included.
Henso Jutsu (Disguise and Impersonation): For purposes of infiltration and hiding, ninjas of the Tokagure school were experts in assuming false identities. This didnt just mean putting on a costume, but adopting the mannerisms, knowledge and even personality of the character they were impersonating. Popular disguises included monks, craftsmen or wandering entertainers.
Shinobi Iri (Stealth and Entering Techniques): Silently moving towards and gaining access to the inaccessible areas they needed to were pivotal to the ninjas purpose. Special walking and running techniques were developed for long and short distances, as well as passing over floors quietly and staying in the shadows. All while having a keen awareness of ones surroundings and potential entrances/exits.
Ba Jutsu (Horsemanship): Riding skills were essential for all elite military forces, and was imperative that ninjas knew how to fight from horseback.
Sui Rea (Water Training): Silent swimming, emerging from and disappearing from bodies of water without a sound. Togakure ninjas also learned the use of special boats and underwater combat techniques.
Bo Ryaku (Strategy): Along with traditional military tactics of battle and deception, ninja also learned how to use propaganda, political plots and current events against their enemy. Sometimes the best battle is one you dont even have to fight, and by influencing or employing outside factors a ninja could bend the situation to their will without drawing attention to themselves.
Cho Ho (Espionage): True believers that knowledge was power, Togakure ninja were taught how to locate and recruit potential spies within the enemy ranks.
Inton Jutsu (Escape and Concealment): The secret to the ninjas seemingly supernatural ability to disappear is due to the intense awareness of how they can use their surroundings for an escape. The goton-po elements of escape are based on familiarizing the ninja with creative uses of the five elements (earth, water, fire, metal and wood) to facilitate their escape.
Ten-Mon (Meteorology): Knowing the conditions of an upcoming battle is key to success. Ninja were trained to observe subtle signals in the environment so they could better predict and take advantage of the weather.
Chi-Mon (Geography): Just like the weather, knowing your terrain could mean the difference between a swift escape and getting tangled in the woods.
Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?
You're not the only one.
u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.
I Know What I LikeGiphy
My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.
The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.
A Stair Step
My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.
My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.
My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.
We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.
I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.
My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.
With an ex:
"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."
She did not understand this.
I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.
"Now how much do you have in your hand?"
She still didn't understand.
She somehow has a college degree.
When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.
I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.
My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.
His answer was that I was being unfair.
How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."
To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.
A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.
A Non-Standard Ruler?
I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.
Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.
7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.
Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.
Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.
This Unusual Vegan Argument
Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.
He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.
That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."
Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.
Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.
In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.
It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.
Albert or ArnoldGiphy
Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?
Below Sea Level
I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.
I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.
This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.
Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.
Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.
An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.
I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.
Whales Are Mammals
I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.
Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.
My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.
No Balloons For Grandma
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.
He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.
He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
Spontaneous Dolphin ExistenceGiphy
How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.
I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.
Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.
But ... Ice Floats
Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.
Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.
Time Zones Exist
Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"
"no, it's red"
"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)
The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.
The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.
It was stupid.
Stars Like Our Sun
I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.
I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.
I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.
Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.
Balloon to Heaven
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.
And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.
He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.
It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.
Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".
My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.
3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.
I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.
Late to the party, but there it is.
I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.
Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.
Wicked Witch of the West
I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.
I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.
They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.
So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.
My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.
I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.
We didn't speak to each other for four days.
How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).
How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.
Dogs and ChocolateGiphy
I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.
I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.
Is water wet?
My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.
For the record, it is no to both questions.
A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.
He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.
One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.
It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.
Green Or Yellow?
When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.
Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.
Stars In Their MultitudeGiphy
I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".
I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.
She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.
We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.
I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"
I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.
I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...
Solid Or Liquid?
Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.
For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.