High School Teacher Actually Confesses How He Married A Student Who Came On To Him.
Teachers of Reddit were asked: "Did a student ever offer you sex to pass a class? If yes, how did you react and what were the further consequences?" One user, disposable_neteng, had an unbelievable story to share.
Shortly after college, my old school district offered me an IT job which quickly evolved into the state emergency field certifying me to teach the high school Intro and AP CS courses in addition to my district-wide IT responsibilities.
Some of the "star" pupils in the CS sections were routinely recruited for what was basically an unpaid IT internship through a state program whereby they would get out of one or more class periods per day and become IT minions to build their skills with the understanding that as their skills grew, they would lead their own team of student techs. Neat program.
Anyway, in my few years with the district, we had a few kids, mainly seniors, who were clearly heading in the wrong direction.
The school administration had an off-book program where they would help displaced, homeless and obviously at-risk kids get their lives back on the right track and finish their education. One young woman that I remember really having issues at home made overt sexual advances in my direction and nearly ruined my life. This wasn't even for a better grade-- she was already making a 4.0. This was about attention and, perhaps, some confused feelings.
I may have been 20 or so, but I was smart enough not to take the bait, whether authentic or otherwise. That isn't to say that I didn't have some trouble result from their behavior. All that I can say is "Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster" that I was evaluating some IP cameras and had one running in my office.
The young lady in question silently crept into my office while I had my back turned to the door as I took a telephone call from the state, closed the door, unbuttoned her blouse and waited for me to turn around mere inches from where I sat.
Not hearing her enter over the drone of equipment in the corner, I was shocked to find her waiting right behind me when my call ended. Just as I placed the handset back on the phone base and turned to move back to my workbench, she reached up, grabbed me by the head and planted an open-mouth kiss on my stunned lips.
I absolutely did not reciprocate and pulled free as soon as I could. If anything, I thought, in retrospect, that I might have hurt her as I pushed her away from me.
She pointed out that her shirt was open and had popped the front clasp of her bra, baring her breasts. I was horrified. She was a nice young woman, but I was a teacher and she a student. I also did not want to go to prison or have my life ruined, so I begged her to cover up and leave immediately. She refused. I immediately called the principal, explained the situation and asked that the School Resource (police) Officer come by with the nurse without delay.
When they arrived, the girl, angry that I had rebuffed her advances, proceeded to tell them that I had talked her into the office and manipulated her into removing her shirt, spinning lies that her grade would suffer if she didn't.
I vigorously defended myself, but times being what they were (and are), they were taking her side. That was one of the toughest hours of my life. That was, until I remembered that the Axis IP camera and NVR that I had been testing recorded everything (with audio) in my office. They saw the video and she instantly began backpedaling. Within minutes, the truth was known and she was in tears, yelling, "But I love him!"
At that point, my heart sank. I wasn't even mad anymore. I felt truly sorry for her. Even if she did love me, which I seriously doubted and wouldn't have mattered in any way, she was dealing with far more than any 18-year-old senior should. Her drug-addicted felon parents were almost always absent, two of her siblings were dead from drugs and drug violence, her remaining sister had turned to prostitution and she never knew if she would have enough money for rent, power or food.
As the SRO had already taken her statement before she began to recant, the SRO pushed heavily that I press for false statement charges. Instead, the principal had the young woman sign an affidavit stating that the allegations were false and that I was not to be held responsible. She was removed from my the internship program and AP CS.
The thing was, however, that she was very good with computers and had planned on pursuing a CS degree at the local university. Not wanting to have her potentially decent future ruined by a desperately misguided mistake, the district superintendent allowed her to finish the CS course at another district school. She had already shown great aptitude in the internship program, so I made sure that she graduated with several letters of recommendation.
Fast forward 6 years. I was about to sit down to read when the doorbell rings. I opened the door to find her standing there with a binder. After determining that she wasn't there to pull something-- I hadn't had any contact with her in years, after all-- and checking that my home IP video system was running, I invited her in.
We had a really nice chat about her acceptance to the local U's CS department and her fast-track from freshman to MS program.
She opened the binders and showed me pictures of her awards. I read the abstract of her graduate thesis and asked about her post-grad plans. She got a job with a bioinformatics company making twice what I make in my CTO position. I couldn't have been prouder.
She asked what I had been up to and I told her of my career moves (I stayed on a year after she graduated). I mentioned that my brother, a well-known football coach in the district, had died after being hit by a drunk driver. She cried as she told me how she was truly alone- that her entire family had died, one by one, from drugs or violence, all within two years.
She calmed, but started crying again. She could hardly look at me. I didn't know what to say and could only muster a kind "There, there. It's okay" to help, which I knew was worthless sentiment because it wasn't really okay- her family was dead. That wasn't what she was crying over.
She flipped to a tabbed section near the rear of the binder, thumbed through a few pages, found one and had me read. It was a long, beautifully penned, eloquently written, multi-page letter.
It read something to the effect of: "Dear [Teacher],
Words can never express how sorry I am for what I did to you on [date of the incident]. My life was in shambles, I was aimless and acted purely out of desperation for attention. So few people ever paid me any mind, but you seemed to genuinely care. You were always friendly and happy, a bright ray of sunshine in the dark night of my life, and I loved you for that.
Sure, I was a scared girl with a terrible home life and an equally-terrible adult life ahead of me. I can't prove it, but I have a feeling that you were instrumental in my placement in the At-Risk Student Assistance Program. Through that, I was clothed, housed and pushed to continue my education. Because of you, I was able to attend the local university and become a positive, productive member of society. I can't ever thank you enough."
The letter went on for several pages, telling of how she thought of me often and always wondered why I didn't press for charges or full expulsion. The letter mentioned that she tried to visit after her freshman year, but was disappointed to find that I had gone to another job. She didn't want to seduce me or cause trouble, only thank me.
The letter continued, "If you're reading this, I've found you to apologize. Thank you. I hope that you are proud of the life that I have made and that my crying isn't too upsetting." I looked up from the page to find tears silently streaming down her face.
The letter finished, "I didn't come here for sympathy or to brag, but mainly just to thank you and ask if we might be friends. I had a lot of growing up to do when we last spoke and I want to make things right after I potentially ruined your life. My family is dead and I don't have a lot of friends. I would love to have someone to share in my victories and talk shop. Feel free to say no- and I might in your position, but it would mean a lot if you might have dinner with me sometime. I don't expect anything.
Please excuse me. If you've read this far, I'm probably a crying mess right about now. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
I looked up at her and smiled as she wept. After minutes of reassuring her that it was all okay, she stopped crying and gave me a big hug. She repeated that she was sorry, that it had gnawed at her for years. I repeated that it was all a big mistake and that it was just fortunate that it all worked out for both of us.
We chatted for another hour or so before I became hungry and asked if she had any dinner plans. We went to dinner and that, as they say, is how it all started. We have been inseparable since. That was five years ago and we have been married for three. She turned out to be a truly fantastic person of the highest quality.
Having said all of that, it might have been rather odd if I had still been working in education when she tracked me down and things began as they did, but that's just me, I guess.
Image Source: refleXtions / Shutterstock.com
We are told that, if you're not confident, you should just "fake it til you make it."
This is great--in theory. In practice, sometimes "faking it" can have extremely real and terrible consequences, which these people found out the hardest of hard ways.