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History Buffs Share The Best Stories Not Found In Textbooks

History isn't boring, our textbooks just leave out all the fun stuff.

History as taught by textbooks SUCKS. But think about it, you're fully aware that awesome and hilarious stuff is happening every day. That's nothing new. History is full of characters that, if they existed today, would have the biggest Twitter following and at least 3 reality shows.

Take La Mapin, for example. She was a cross-dressing, sword-fighting, opera singer who killed at least ten men in duels and snuck into convents to hook up with the nuns. Yeah, we'd have read the HELL out of the French Revolution chapter in our history textbooks if it included that info!


One Reddit user asked:

History buffs of Reddit, what is one of the most fascinating stories you've learned that no one seems to talk about and can't be found in textbooks?

We grabbed some of our favorite responses - and now we're kind of mad, honestly. We spent years thinking history was boring! Turns out nope, it's not. Our textbooks just didn't want us knowing how scandalously awesome our ancestors could be.

The Samurai Who Bombed Oregon

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During World War II, the Japanese outfitted special planes (some were designed to be launched from submarines) with enough range to reach the west coast of the United States. The goal was to use incendiary bombs to start wildfires in the forests of the pacific northwest. One pilot, Nobuo Fujita, successfully dropped his bombs over the forest near Brookings, Oregon. Fortunately, a storm the night before had dampened the forest, and the fire started by Fujita's bomb was quickly controlled by the Forest Service.

Eighteen years later, in 1962, Fujita returned to Brookings. He brought with him his family's heirloom, a katana ("samurai sword") that was over 400 years old. Fujita apologized to the townspeople for his actions during the war, and revealed that if the townspeople demanded it, he would ceremoniously kill himself (commit seppuku) with the sword to make reparations for his actions.

The townspeople would have none of it. Fujita was made an honorary citizen of the town and returned to visit it several times during his life, including one trip to plant trees in the forest he had bombed decades before. After his death in 1997, his daughter returned to Brookings and scattered some of his ashes there. The Fujita family katana is on display in Brookings, after being given to the town by Fujita as a token of friendship.

- MightyCaseyStruckOut

Anal Bleeding - For Fashion

I've told this story before, but it never fails to amuse me. Strap in, boys and girls: it's time to learn about that time in pre-Revolutionary France where bleeding from your butt was a fashion statement.

In early 1685, King Louis XIV of France developed a fistula: a small channel near his anus, resulting in great pain. Fistulas, much like the Wu Tang Clan, ain't nothin' to f--- with. Eventually the pain got so bad that he couldn't ride a horse, sit for long periods (which is kind of important when you're a king) or even make a bowel movement without regretting it immensely. The normal remedies were applied; enemas and poultices from morning until night, with zero effect. Louis decided, 'You know what? Let's go down the surgical route.'

Unfortunately for Louis, at the time there was no surgical route. He hired a surgeon barber named Charles-François Felix and asked him to fix him. Not entirely stupid -- and not willing to risk f---ing up a novel surgery on the king of France -- Felix requested six months to practice, which he did on prisoners. Live prisoners. Live, healthy prisoners -- sometimes as many as four a day, in an era where antiseptics and anaesthetics didn't exist. The success rates were about as you'd imagine -- although at least some of the prisoners survived -- and eventually Felix felt confident enough to perform the surgery on the king.

And it worked! Within three months, the king was riding his horse like nothing had happened, and Felix was the talk of the town. People were desperate to emulate the king so badly that people who were entirely healthy would pay Felix to perform the surgery on them, and those less willing to suffer (or at least, less willing to pay) would fake having the surgery, wearing bandages known as le royale to mimic the king and pretend that they too were cool and with it... even though 'with it' meant suffering from a painful condition of the butthole.

- Portarossa

Laughable Lion

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Not really fascinating, but funny, is the lion of Gripsholm castle. As a part of some diplomatic back and forths, Fredrik the first of Sweden received a lion from the ruler of Algeria. By the time it got to Sweden, it was a skin and some bones, kinda. It was now up to the royal taxidermist to make sure the lion was restored to its former glory. During the 1730's however, not a great deal of swedes had ever actually seen a lion. The only real thing he had to go on, was the coinage which showed lions in profile. The result?

Yeah. Silver lining, though. This thing is still a major tourist attraction for the castle.

-Rattplats

This Surgery That Killed Three People At Once

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Robert Liston 1794-1847

A surgeon. In fact, he was described as "the fastest knife in the West End" and could amputate a leg in 2.5 minutes (the faster the surgery, the more likely the recovery) - though during this particular amputation he went so quickly he also removed his patient's testicles.

However, he also amputer a man's leg (in less than 2.5 minutes), who would later die of gangrene. In his haste, he accidentally cut off his assistant's fingers, who would later die from gangrene, and (apparently) cut through the coat tails of a surgical spectator, who was so scared he died of fright.

This becoming the only surgery with a 300% mortality rate.

- AvidReader182

Like Paul Revere, But Better

SYBIL LUDINGTON.

She was, essentially (perhaps oversimplifying) the female, teenage Paul Revere. At only 16 years old, she rode through New York in 1777 to alert local militia, just like Paul Revere's famous ride. BUT, this young woman rode more than TWICE the distance of Paul Revere's ride, while being significantly younger (she rode about 40 miles at only 16, in the middle of the night).

She also saved her father from being captured by Royalists, she lit candles surrounding her house and gathered her siblings to march around the house and give the illusion that troops were guarding the residence. The antagonists fled.

She is so, so under appreciated in the long term of history.

- StrawberrySwisherz

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The Lost Russian Library

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When Ivan III of Russia married Zoe/Sophia Palaiologina, niece of Dragases Palaiologos or Constantine XI, her uncle gifted them a library along with many other treasures. This library somehow survived the Burning of Moscow in 1493 and continued to be passed down to her son, Vasili III, and then on to her grandson, Ivan IV.

During Ivan IV's reign of terror (the second half of his reign), he feared the library was too precious a treasure and worried it would be stolen. So he and a few men took the collection out of Moscow (what was most likely a 1-3 day horse ride) and buried the books (possibly in a vault???) To ensure the location of the library would never get out, he had the men killed.

Ivan IV died before the location of the library was ever revealed.

We have no idea what could have been in this library or if the contents have even survived. Though some historians have speculated that Plato's Hermocrates (the final dialogue pertaining to Atlantis) could have been part of the collection, there's no proof that this is true.

- Dahngrest

Texaco Accidentally Sucked Up The Ocean

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The Lake Peigneur Disaster.

Until 1980, Lake Peigneur was a small-ish freshwater lake with a maximum depth of about 10-15ft, located in southern Louisiana. Locals mostly used it for trout fishing, and it also had a canal running 10 miles from the lake southward to the Gulf of Mexico. The main industry of the area was a massive salt mine that stood below the ground, partially underneath the lake itself. Thing is, huge natural salt deposits like this often coincide with oil reserves, so it wasn't out of the ordinary when oil companies came searching.

In November of 1980, Texaco had set up a rig in the lake and was doing some exploratory drilling, hoping to make bank. Little did they know that one of their triangulation coordinates was slightly off, and so they had incorrectly guessed the location of the salt mine below their feet. Their drill bit punched into the roof of the salt deposit about 400 feet earlier than expected, and water began to drain slowly into the salt.

And what happens when salt meets water?

It dissolves.

As the water dissolved more and more salt, it made more and more room for water to be sucked down, which in turn dissolved more salt and made more room, setting off a massive chain reaction. The oil rig on the surface keeled to the side and collapsed, its workers barely escaping before the water pressure became too much to swim through. The remnants of the rig were sucked into the bottom of the lake in what had turned from a tiny hole to a whirlpool, the force of the water shearing away soil and making a bigger hole as it went.

The salt mine at the time was fully staffed with workers 1500ft below the ground, who were going about their daily shifts in the mine without any knowledge of the events taking place above them, until they saw water dripping through the roof of the tunnels. Thanks to well-rehearsed evacuation plans, none of them died before the mine was flooded, but water is just about the worst thing you can see in a salt mine.

The whirlpool on the surface, having eaten the rig, began to suck down the entire contents of the lake itself, including 11 barges, various small boats, and yes, the poor trout. The whirlpool grew into a maelstrom, its pressure increasing and in turn building more pressure by creating a bigger and bigger hole, eroding more and more of the salt mine. As it pulled down the entire lake, the water began to shear away at the shores, creating landslides and tearing trees out by the roots. Many of Jefferson Island's 100-year-old pecan trees were lost to the maelstrom, along with several local homes that sat on the shore of the lake and were ripped out by the foundation. The local botanical gardens was destroyed entirely as the soil underneath it was eroded in the span of only a few hours.

Compressed air inside the mine finally exploded out through the mine shafts, quickly followed by a 400-foot geyser erupting from the mine's entrance.

Not only did Lake Peigneur drain entirely into the mine, dragging 64 acres of destroyed land with it, but the pressure was so great that it also reversed the direction of the Delcambre Canal. The ocean water from the Gulf of Mexico was sucked northward through the canal to fill the Peigneur basin, temporarily creating the largest waterfall in Louisiana.

The chaos didn't end until the pressure equalized about a week later. When things had finally calmed down, the lake had changed drastically. Its maximum depth was now about 200feet, as opposed to its previous 10. Its shoreline had expanded, chimneys sticking straight out of the water where houses had once been. Nine out of the eleven barges claimed by the maelstrom floated back to the surface, although two remain somewhere in the ground below. The botanical gardens were gone, and many of the local trees. The salt mine was temporarily shut down, and although it did reopen it was finally closed permanently in 1986. Texaco had to pay $32 million to the salt company, and a further $13 million to the gardens. Miraculously, the only casualties of the disaster were the trout.

The most important difference, however, is that today Lake Peigneur is now a saltwater lake with ocean species, ten miles away from the ocean itself.

All caused by some bad numbers and a fourteen-inch drill bit.

-SwingGirlAtHeart

This Honorable Escort

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The Brown-Stigler Incident occurred during World War II. A B-17 bomber was heavily damaged during a bombing run on Bremen. Several of its crew were killed or injured, two engines were out, a section of the tail was blown away, and the radio was disabled. The bomber lost altitude but was saved by the Captain - whose name was literally Charlie Brown. The bomber flow over an airfield and was spotted by a German fighter ace named Franz Stigler.

Stigler took off caught up to the bomber, had it in his sites, than realized that the tail gunner was not firing. At this point he noticed how damaged the B-17 was and took the advice of his former CO to never shoot a man in a parachute. He decided that the bomber was no longer combat capable and was in distress (like a man in a parachute). So he pulled to the side of the B-17 and signaled for Brown to land at the airfield, when he Brown continued to fly, Stigler tried to get him to fly to Sweden, once again Brown continued on.

That's when Stigler realized that Brown was going to try to return to England. Stigler, technically the enemy, then pulled to the bomber's wing and escorted it to the English Channel were he gave Brown a salute a returned to Germany. To make a long story short, after the war Brown found Stigler and the two became close friends until their deaths.

- ChristopherParent

Thank You, Gander

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It's a bit more recent but I love the story of Gander. After 9/11 all the planes were grounded. Almost 7,000 people, which was about 66% of the local population , were forced to land in this tiny town of Gander, Newfoundland. The whole town worked together to make sure all the passengers would have everything they needed.

The local ice rink was filled with frozen food that people donated. You couldn't find a closed door in town for stranded people to take a shower or just talk.

Once the grounding of planes was lifted those passengers pooled their money together and created a scholarship for the people of Gander to use. This is one of the greatest acts of kindness that I can view in history. To this day a Gander is one of the only places outside the United States where they have a piece of the World Trade Center.

-FireDog1235

The Curse On Stalin

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In the 1300s, the greater part of Central Asia was ruled by Tamerlane, a brilliant leader who took after one of his ancestors, Genghis Khan, in ruthlessness, brutality, and skill. Unlike Genghis Khan, Tamerlane was Muslim, and an important part of his particular cultural beliefs (blending Islam, steppe cultures, and countless other influences) was that one's grave should not be disturbed after death. Being the big shot he was, his grave was magnificent and its location well known, but Tamerlane famously said: "let no one disturb my grave, for if you do, a fate worse than me will fall upon you." So no one disturbed the tomb. Till Stalin. He let some Soviet archaeologists open it up and examine Tamerlane's body. The locals warned them about the curse that would go into effect after three days, but the scientists went ahead with the excavation— on June 19, 1941.

On June 22, 1941, Hiltler invaded the USSR.

Whether or not you believe in curses, Stalin was apparently spooked enough that, after devastating loss after devastating loss, he ordered the remains be returned (with full ceremony) and the tomb resealed. Very shortly afterwards, the Soviets won the Battle of Stalingrad and turned the tide of Nazi invasion.

- MaggieMC2012

H/T: Reddit

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

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My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

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I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

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Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

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How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

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I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

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3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

Giphy

I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo