IRL

Homeowners Share The Most Insane HOA Rules They've Dealt With

Homeowners associations are supposed to help maintain the safety and looks of a neighborhood. All too often, though, they become a power trip for those who are part of the board, and just end up making residents miserable instead.


Reddit user u/jepensedoucjsuis asked:

"Homeowners of reddit. What are the most insane HOA rules you have had to deal with?"

Below you'll find some of the worst nonsense to come out of the horror that is a homeowners association.

50. 

We can only have 3 types of flags on a flag pole (that has to be approved) out front. An American flag, a military flag, or a South Carolina flag.

One of our neighbors were warned a couple times until they took their cutesy frog flag down.

-Smittythepirate

Fly a Texas flag. They'll invade in an armada of lifted trucks if someone tries to take it down.

-oversized_hoodie

49. 

My parents' HOA has a rule that you are NOT allowed to cut down trees without a "permit" from them, at ANY time, for ANY reason. The first winter they lived there, there was an ice storm and a tree fell onto the neighbor's deck, taking out his entire deck and the sliding glass door that went from his kitchen to his deck.

My dad went over with his chainsaw to help him cut down the tree that was now in his kitchen, and, MID-STORM, someone from the association heard the chainsaw and came over asking if they had a permit, to cut apart the tree in my neighbor's kitchen. IIRC, he told them to get bent and they tried to give him a 1000 fine for "cutting down a tree without a permit."

-MrsNacho8000

48. 

I used to live in a HOA. One of the members on the board lived across the street from my neighbor and I. He sent a letter to us saying that we all have to mow the lawn on the same day, at the same cut height, and in the SAME PATTERN to create uniformity in the neighborhood. My neighbor and I intentionally cut on different days and in opposite patterns just to annoy the guy.

-mrsheikh

Essence of HOAs right here. Same people don't care about them, and obsessive lunatics inevitably end up in charge. It's a priss-ocracy of people with control issues.

-IThinkThingsThrough

47. 

I had an HOA try to enforce that I had much to old of a car to be in the driveway. Mind you, no rust, always clean, never dusty/dirty.

Went to court and the judge ordered a full audit of the HOA. It was not enforceable at all, they paid my legal fees and last I knew they have yet to police anything.

-clem82

46.

Giphy

I used cool white LED Christmas lights instead of warm white, there was no specifics given in the hoa handbook. After that year it was placed in there.

-ObjectiveSuggestion

TIL: white comes in more shades than white.

-ensalys

45. 

I was once "warned" about storing my trash in view of the street. I thought to myself, "That's funny, I'm pretty on top of the trash", so I checked the date of the infraction. Sure enough, it was trash day. They were upset at me about putting my trash out on trash day.

-nnyx

44. 

Well, currently they are trying to go after me for bushes in my front yard saying you cant have a "fence" in your front yard and you must remove the bushes.... Theres a lady with an actual picket fence in her front yard that is allowed to keep it. But my bushes that were planted by the previous owner about 10 years ago or more have to be removed.

Oh also they put a lien on some ones house for having a boat in the driveway meanwhile some one on the board has had a pop up camper in their driveway for months, not even a single notice was given.

-bra1ntra1n

43. 

My friends HOA fined him because the flag pole that was already up in his front yard when he purchased the house, was too tall.

He countered by flying a pirate flag on that flag pole.

They are even less happy with the flag pole now.

-Becoh

42. 

My Townhome neighborhood has an HOA that covers the exterior of our homes (since they all share the same exterior, being connected and whatnot). My front door has developed a rotting spot on the edge, so I sent a claim in for the HOA to replace it. They said the front door does not fall within their definition of the exterior of the home.

That's fine, whatever, I'll just buy a new one. But wait! I have to fill out an EXTERIOR CHANGE REQUEST to get a new front door. The door they said doesn't count as exterior. needs and EXTERIOR change request sent to approve any external changes made. They want to control what my door looks like, but I have to pay for it.

-Jack_is_a_Potato

41.

Giphy

I lived in a fairly large 'family friendly' townhouse community. There was a community baseball field, at least it was set up like a baseball field with the fences and backstop, but essentially it was just a giant field, further down was a playground and fenced in tennis court. It was meant to be used there were dozens of kids playing baseball, football, soccer, or whatever on it all the time. For really no reason they decided to shut it down. Overnight they put up signs to not use it and keep out. If your kids dared to even walk across it police would be called in minutes.

We were playing tennis on the courts one day and police were called, the next day it was locked up with a chain and combination lock. We called the HOA and were told we would have to give them proof we actually played tennis to be given the combination. My parents and a lot of other parents got in long arguments on the phone and at the HOA meetings about why they made these ridiculous new rules, they were essentially told 'because we can.' It became a war in the community against the old ladies that ran the HOA and the younger families with kids.

-Truedeal

40. 

They had someone go around and check if the dogs are leashed, if not the they call animal control to have them taken away.

HOA has called animal control on people who have their dogs leashed, their reason?

The length of the leash was either too long or too short.

They tried to take away one guy's dogs for that reason and that sparked a war between the HOA head and the homeowner who was a former Marine (I think) and all around madman.

HOA head did not stand a chance against a retired crazy person who had a lot of time and money.

Crazy guy built a pool and let everyone used it for free, making the $20/month pool the HOA set up useless. Crazy guy also held a giant all inclusive party that had menus for everyone and any police that came to check on it left with to go bags. He also had a Halloween party, as the HOA did not allow trick or treating.

Crazy guy was well loved and the head was ousted from the HOA after she tried to break into crazy guy's house.

The ban on trick or treating has been there since way before the former head took charge, the neighborhood had only white people living in it until the 90s and it became diverse after that. I guess the ban was put so the people that had it put didn't want to be disturbed, and it was enforced, their reasoning was that it was to protect everyone. Bullsh*t.

Crazy guy was seen as crazy by these HOA cultists because he didn't follow their rules and more often than not he was the most well liked guy in the neighborhood.

The former head was the trophy wife of this big shot doctor and her father owned most of the land in the neighborhood. She wasn't crazy, just power tripping and stupid.

The crazy guy never ran for HOA, but he did start a restaurant, sponsor a drag competition, and possibly took up karate.

-illogicalfuturity

39. 

My friend bought a house and they threatened him with a $150 fine for not mowing his yard after 3 days of living there. He said he'd be happy to mow it at 3 am when he gets off work, or they can wait until his next day off and he won't wake up the whole neighborhood. They quietly went away lol

-ItsMrSlash

38. 

I was threatened with an $85 fine because they claimed my tree was shading the sidewalk by 2". It was such an odd complaint. I just wondered what kind of person was involved with that report.

-Mimtu

37.

Mailbox post has to be a perfect 90 degrees.

-onetimerone

Celsius or Fahrenheit?

-warneroo

Kelvin.

-Khal_Dago

36. 

I work as an architect in a very HOA heavy part of Florida so I have seen some things. My favorites are:

1. Had an HOA rant and rave about approved colors. They hounded me saying we cannot deviate from these preselected colors as lots of time, effort and money was put into these groupings of 3-4 colors per set. Fine, whatever... not unheard of. I asked for the approved colors, they handed me a SherwinWilliams "Coastal Colors" brochure. It has like 5 sets of colors and you can literally pick this up anywhere. I heard the approved colors just switch every time one of those new brochures come out.

2. An HOA that does not allow trucks (pickups) but allows lifted SUVs.

3. Not an HOA but a Building Dept reviewer once told me that if a client does paint touch ups in this certain district they can only use approved colors. But... the building was not colored one of the approved colors. They did not budge on this. Meaning they would rather this old building look like absolute crap decaying into nothing than allow us to touch up with similar paint.

4. Had an HOA reject one of our designs because the front balcony was 6" wider than the neighbors balcony. "They must share a similar design and aesthetic style."

5. There once was a man Dane. Who wanted an out door fire pit to entertain. We designed and he loved it, then went in to permit. But alas the HOA doesn't allow a visible flame.

6. Had an HOA not allow fences, just hedges. But according to an overarching municipal code, there MUST be a partition that separates the pool from some main walkways for safety (kids and whatnot). Most people did the removable kind that sticks into the ground with a net since it's stupid cheap. We built a "pool fence" around this guy's entire yard and claimed code compliance.

7. We have signs that we put in front of buildings that are under construction to advertise that it is our design and we incorporate the address in that sign so that the address is still on display per county ordinance (I think). It is one of those simple signs that looks like a realtor sign. HOA (actually more like a neighborhood council, which is a bit more formalized and I believe city or county funded) doesn't allow those simple signs. Owner had to pay for this very lovely looking sign custom fabricated with wrought iron by a local guy to put in front of... a construction zone.

8. OH ONE MORE! Another comment reminded me of this one. I did a small remodel for a guy adding some outdoor space. When we submitted for permit the building department rejected it with two google maps aerial pictures attached; one from 2010 and one from 2017. They noted that many trees that were there before are not out there now and requested that we fill out a tree removal permit. Two hurricanes hit between then and now which knocked down many trees.

They had to pay 500$ more for this "permit". The implication of this means that every hurricane almost 600 sq miles of homes theoretically need to pay to remove those trees that were knocked down. I know the other in this list are bad, but this one is complete shenanigans. This one was brand new to me and so I have yet to look into it further. Stuff like this one takes advantage of disaster victims. In practice though it appears this only affect those who want to permit a reno or new construction.

-2ofSorts

35. 

I had a friend that lived in a strict HOA neighborhood. He was an architect in the process of remodeling his home, which required a new roof. He submitted different shingle samples for HOA approval, but the HOA kept rejecting them. Finally, the HOA gave him the manufacturer and color name of 4 or 5 "pre approved" shingle styles. There was nothing in the HOA bylaws that sated he could only use one color, so he used all 4 or 5 colors. The HOA was pissed, but couldn't do anything about it.

-Creepy-Old-Man

34. 

Apartment HOA.

The wheels got stolen off my car, couldn't get it towed that night because no places were open.

Next morning I'm coordinating calls between the body shop and my insurance when I look out my window and see my car wasn't there.

Some a-hole HOA property manager had my car towed because it was a "danger" to the surrounding cars.

Luckily my insurance company covered the towing fees.

-Seven2774

it was a "danger" to the surrounding cars.

Cars without wheels are like rotting fruit. One bad car in the lot, next thing you know the wheels are falling off all the others.

-anarchography

33. 

My friend and coworker showed me the Facebook page to her HOA. They make daily posts that residents can't park in their driveways because it ruins the aesthetic of the neighborhood. The posts contain threats of tickets and possible towing.

She paid $350,000 for a townhouse and can't park in her garage because she drives a truck and it won't fit.

-bel_html

32. 

When I was growing we lived in a neighborhood with an insane HOA. We had a trampoline with no cover on the springs, so we got a notice saying we needed to buy a cover. No problem, we bought a standard blue cover the next day, no biggie. The following day we got a notice with a $200 fine that our trampoline pad didn't match the trim on our house and we, therefore, had two days to remove and replace it.

We also regularly got complaints for playing in the street (of a very suburban neighborhood with almost zero traffic, we were ages 10-15), received a fine for our basketball hoop's net being too tattered (it wasn't), and countless others. My mom made it her mission to troll the HOA as much as possible.

Eventually the old neighbors across the street both died and the complaints/notices instantly stopped coming.

-Toxic_Influence

31. 

I got a notice that said "Owner will remove toilet from yard"

The HOA guy must have driven by during the 10 minute window where the plumber had my old toilet sitting in the yard before he cleaned up and left. I guess the plumbing truck and toolbox wasn't enough for the HOA guy to put two and two together - he saw that toilet and immediately thought it was a permanent fixture in my front yard.

-fiveSE7EN

30. 

I rented a house in an HOA neighborhood. We were threatened with a fine for using black trash bags instead of white ones. Except we also had trash containers we put our bags in so someone literally opened our containers to check our bag color. People who run HOAs have way too much time on their hands

-FriendlyLawnmower

29.

Giphy

Our Condo HOA sent a notice that we are not allowed to have our cat on our own patio, on a harness, under our own supervision. Someone complained he had eaten the grass that lines the patio.

-JustJules916

28. 

Got some nastygrams because my grass was too tall. I hadn't cut it in two weeks due to being gone on a trip and poor weather. Okay, not a big deal, so I cut my grass. A week later get dinged for having grass that was too tall. Now I'm confused, how much shorter do you want my grass. Contacted the HOA and asked what was going on and they said my grass was over two feet tall. There is green space beside my property that belongs to the HOA that they had neglected to cut since I moved in. Turns out it was their own problem in the first place.

-mcsoup88

27. 

My parents house when I was fairly little (they owned it from when I was 4 to about 13) was HOA. They eventually wanted to paint the house because it'd been built in the 1950s and probably hadn't been painted since then. They'd originally wanted to paint it a very reasonable shade of blue or red for a house-not an eyesore by any means. HOA refused to approve it. Instead my parents got to use the most horrendous shade of green known to man. That color was an abomination.

-gothiclg

26. 

I've been lucky because for the most part, the 2 HOA's I've lived under have been great, but remember one incident when we used to live in a high rise...

The day after our wedding, we returned home with a car full of gifts, wife's dress, etc. and because we had been so busy saying good bye to guests at the hotel, never had a chance to eat all day. So we parked out car in the circle outside the lobby and decided to eat sandwiches we'd picked up on the way home at a round table in the lobby before unloading the car.

This table was size/height of a dining table. 4 chairs like a dining table. Almost never saw it getting used, other than maybe when somebody was meeting with a real estate agent to put together a purchase offer...

Some old biddy from the board comes up to us in a huff, "You're NOT ALLOWED to eat at this table!"

Verified with the doorman, who concurred that was the HOA policy.

So we ate our sandwiches off the trunk of our car in the front circle, 20 feet from a perfectly fine table...

-blipsman

25. 

Growing up I lived in a gated community with a swimming pool and one of the pool rules was that house help were not allowed to swim in it. When I was a kid I didn't really care but now looking back it was a totally senseless and elitist rule. Why shouldn't the help use the swimming pool if they aren't even causing a scene or harming anyone or breaking any of the other (sensible) pool rules?

Edit: Sorry I forgot to mention I live in the Philippines which is a pretty homogeneous society so no this isn't racism. This is just a matter of rich people alienating the other half.

-astariasla

24.

Giphy

Not me but my parents.

They moved into a new subdivision with 2 dogs. Less that 2 months after they moved in they had a fence built in the back yard. Around 5 months after they moved in a HOA was formed. The HOA attempted to fine my parents for building a fence without getting a permit from the HOA. They fought the fine and eventually didn't have to pay it. but it took 2 months of fighting them until the HOA understood that the fence was built BEFORE the HOA was even formed.

-frooglybear

23.

Not me, but my parents. They live in a private neighborhood and their house is within walking distance of the ocean. Per the requirements of their HOA, despite this being a beach community, you are not allowed to have a boat visible in your yard because it ruins the "aesthetics" (again...in a beach community) and, if you do have a boat, it has to be "hidden" in some way and cannot be seen from the street. When I was a kid, we had a 13' Boston Whaler, which my dad kept behind the house, but a couple inches of the trailer head could be seen from the street. My parents were asked to put up a fence to "hide" the few inches of the trailer and if they did not, their boat would be towed...

-moosetopenguin

22. 

My parents live in a neighborhood with strict HOA rules. However, they are one of two houses in the entire subdivision that are NOT under the HOA! But the people across the road from them are, and they're also the worst kind of neighbors.

My parents have an old SUV, like a 2000 Expedition, because they needed something to haul their five teenagers around in. Still runs just fine but kinda ugly. They park it on the street in front of their house most days.

Neighbors across the road have called the HOA, the city councilman, the police even, because HOA says you're not allowed to park on the street for more than 2 hours at a time. The HOA (via the d*ck neighbors) even tried to get the city to tow the truck as abandoned when my parents went on vacation for a long weekend-- thankfully I was house sitting for them (read: mooching off their food and awesome cable package) and prevented that.

The HOA can't do a damn thing about it, because my parents aren't in the HOA. My mom's next act of rebellion is going to be to paint their front door dark purple, because it's not an "approved" color on the HOA list. Also, she's keeping her Vote for Beto sign in the front yard forever because signs are banned by the HOA (and also the d*ck neighbors across the road have a Cruz sticker on their car).

-emeyesee

21. 

My husband and I had a cute yellow shelf on our condo's patio. We received a letter saying it wasn't allowed. We wrote back and asked them what rule it was violating (because we had read them all). They sent us back a copy of the rules with random bits highlighted, such as the "beige or other neural colors" that was actually in reference to window coverings, and "no other colors allowed" in reference to pots only being allowed in terra cotta. We eventually took it inside, but I've been gradually replacing some of our potted plants with non-terra cotta pots. Take that, HOA.

-notapeacock

20. 

Letter from HOA placed (illegally w no postage) in our US Mail box saying our mail box was too weathered and must be repainted.

Two days later another illegal brochure in our mailbox with "independent business" offering to repaint our mailbox.

-mckulty

Wonder how many of those approved "independent businesses" were owned by HOA board members or friends/relatives of those members??

-Smithme2g

19. 

We cannot park on the street for more than 3 days a month. So too bad for you if you are trying to do any project in the garage.

We cannot mow our own grass, we have to use their useless lawn service.

They send us pictures and letters about our fence in the backyard that you can only see from our backyard. We live against a greenbelt so the mandatory plastic white fences get dirty quick.

The streetlight outside out house was knocked down 2 years ago and still had not been replaced. The small crack in the sidewalk outside an HOA council members house wan repaired.

We pay $2000 a year for horrible lawn service and a very small park with 1 tree and 2 tables in it.

-dragonkin08

18. 

I own the house that my parents gave me. lived there for over 15 years now. Same mail box the whole time.

One day, out of the blue, I was told mail box is not HOA compliant. I told them to go fix it themselves because I'm not shelling out money for something I didn't do. I was told it would cost $50 to move the box from the side of the post to front of the post. I flatly said no and they "fixed" it for free.

-QuietDrives87

17.

My HOA didn't like the color of the lights inside my condo. They threatened to take me to court claiming that I altered the exterior appearance of the building. I spoke to their lawyer at an event and he said that it wouldn't hold up in court, so he wouldn't let them try to pursue it.

They're Philips hue lights, at the time they were blue.

-tacojohn48

16.

Giphy

My mom and dad live in a development with an HOA, although hardly anything is ever enforced. What has been enforced is anything that the clique running the HOA don't like what their deaf neighbor does. They got him over setting up his trains on a table in his own garage because, according to the HOA, any surface bearing items greater than something like 20lbs has to be built with the ability to hold a grown adult standing on top.

I don't remember the exact wording, but they actually made him dismantle his train tables. And the only reason they knew he had them is because they were peeping into his garage.

-eclecticsed

15. 

I received a letter saying i was going to be fined $50 a day because my grass was dead. It came the day after I closed.

-zatains

14. 

We had 5 of us renting a 5 bedroom house. This house had 4 parking spots, 2 in the garage and 2 in the driveway. We were not allowed to park on the street without a permit overnight. Well, 5 guys, 5 cars, 4 spots. Math. We ordered a parking permit, but were denied due to "not being a family". When we called to ask what that means, HOA stated that we all needed the same last name. This of course is after we called in and asked what we needed to do to get one, which was; 1. have all cars registered to the house (paid for that), 2. pay the "application fee".

We ended up parking the 5th car sideways behind the other cars, every single night. The HOA was only able to tow from the street, and therefore, "warned" us each night, for the entire year there, that it was a "problem".

(Extra, we had our cars towed 5 different times from the street in front of our house (sometimes you forget to move your car)

-Minters223

13.

We bought a house from an owner who was not within guidelines on multiple items (we also weren't informed of this until we moved in). The main two issues were dead grass and the outdoor light was taken out. Some old cranky b*itch called the HOA on us within the first week we moved in. We bought a solar light to put in, not a big deal. Nope - after it was approved by the HOA, they said it needs to be hard-wired in. We had someone come out and tell us where the light should go but HE WAS WRONG - because that indent in our lawn was where a bush was, not the light.

Giphy

While the HOA guy was telling us where the light should go, he mentioned that the previous owner replaced the fence and it's not the right color of cedar.... The cedar wood... isn't the right shade of cedar.

-Robot_Penguins

12. 

I work on an island in Florida that is a tourist destination. The local HOA president comes into my store every week to complain if our dumpster gate is open and you can see the bin. She has threatened a lean on the business, and said that she will be in contact with the owner. Problem is, HOA only gas authority over residential, and our building is classified as commercial.

Sometimes we "forget" to close the gate on trash days, and then direct her towards the company ware house when she has complaints, because it's off the island, about an hour away. Petty?. Yes. Worth it?. Also yes.

-snazzywaffles

10. 

Our HOA agreement prohibits us from parking a hovercraft in front of the house.

It's really not too crazy. We got a copy of the agreement and pored over it before we made an offer, and attend all meetings to ensure the board isn't going mad with power. When we started looking for a house, we originally hadn't intended to purchase one in an HOA, but it turned out that if we wanted to buy one we could afford within a reasonable driving distance of work that we wouldn't have to do extensive, expensive work on, we were kinda stuck.

Giphy

If I had a nineteen-foot hovercraft I'd be tempted to park it in the driveway and see if anyone complained, given that it allows vehicles of less than 20 feet to park there.

-AugustaScarlett

09. 

Um. Does, "you must address us as 'Boardmember NAME' or you'll be fined," count?

-TheRealJackReynolds

That is neat. I would have addressed them in many ways. None of which would have been suitable for broadcast...

-jepensedoucjsuis

08. 

My niece when she was a toddler had a toy car that you can get inside & drive around using your feet. It was sitting in the back yard for a good 6 months when we were given a compliance notice about it being unauthorized on the property and must be removed.

I was using my dads truck for a side job once a week, and one week it was cancelled. It was sitting in our driveway 'too long' and had a police officer knock on the door telling me I have to move it.

Each house has a small tree planted out front (was a new neighborhood). Ours was broken into two due to strong winds one day which the HOA replaced for free. It proceeded to snap in half THREE MORE TIMES, but the HOA only covered the first one so we had to pay for it.

Have a few others but HOAs are garbage, although it didn't help we were next door to the VP (which was a total d-ckhead). Why buy a house and have someone else tell you how to live in it?

-Alpr101

07. 

My friend put a pool in his backyard, and paid an extra $20,000 to make it 15 foot deep so he could have a high diving board . As as it was up the H O A said he couldn't have a diving board cuz he might be able to see into the neighbor's yard. my friend took pictures from his balcony and then took pictures from his high dive, he then took those pictures to the meeting and asked which one was from the high dive and which picture was from his hoa approved balcony.

Both viewed into the neighbor's yard. He said if you don't pick the right one then I keep my high dive. They chose wrong and he got to keep his high dive. He won that small battle but he would constantly get fined for having his garage door open.

-chevronexxon

06. 

Not my HOA but my mother's. She had a small Yoda statue on her front porch and a couple little gnomes in her garden and it was a pretty cute display that she got compliments on all the time. The HOA cited her because she didn't get approval first and it wasn't "holiday decoration". So she took down the gnomes, but she left Yoda and now dresses him up every single holiday just to be petty.

-it_all_falls_apart

05. 

Live in an HOA where you aren't allowed to do dishes or laundry after 9pm

-cruleworld

Like... how the heck is that enforceable?

-jepensedoucjsuis

04. 

Can't wash your car with too many bubbles. My dad's friend lived in a strata (same thing as an HOA) and had a guy come by saying that he was using too much of the wrong soap. He sprayed him with his hose and the guy never came back until his wife was home alone.

Then he proceeded to harass the wife about having window boxes full of flowers to help the bees, and the wrong shade of white ("two shades off") for her curtains. He moved about half a year later.

-jwc1995

03. 

Christmas decorations are okay (lights, projections, inflatable Santas, etc.), but don't try that for any other holiday! We put up a string of orange, red, and yellow lights outside of our window for Halloween two years ago and were told almost immediately to take them down or get fined. For like a foot and a half of lights that weren't shining in anyone else's windows.

"Conform, peasants!"

-ZeigeJunge

02.

s0.geograph.org.uk

Front yard flower pots had to be ceramic, and large. I quite accidentally discovered that toilets fit ALL requirements as written, so acquired four such flower pots. That got them good and angry with me until the day we left.

-moppdog

01. 

In order to sell or rent in my HOA, you must provide HOA docs to the new owner or tenant.

They must be bought from the HOA, otherwise the sale / rental is not legal. $200 for a three-ring binder with 150 pages of poorly photocopied documents.

The first page: These documents have not been updated since July 2002. Please see the HOA website for updated documents.

-warneroo

Whats the most ridiculous "rule" you've been cited by a homeowners association for violating?

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

Giphy

My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

Giphy

I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

Giphy

Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

Giphy

How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

Giphy

I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

Giphy

3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

Giphy

I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo