Honest People Reveal The Lie They’ve Been Living All Along.

Everyone chooses to hide certain aspects of their lives from the public eye. But what if those aspects defined the very person you are? Here, honest people share the lie they've been living all along.


1. It's important to forgive yourself.

That I don't blame myself for my mother's death.

The day before, she had taken me to the park. We had fun. She was carrying me on her shoulders on our way back home, and for some reason I decided to mention that I liked dad better.

My mom and dad separated when I was 1 after her left for the army. He got weekend visits and they seemed to be on good terms. This didn't stop her from crying when I said that.

My mom didn't have much money growing up, and so she wasn't able to get me a lot of things. However my dad was much more well off financially and would always send gifts in the mail from wherever he was at or bring me something when he stopped by.

I'm sure that was what was behind my words when I said I liked him better. Now that I'm older, I can understand so much more about the situation. But that doesn't get rid of the guilt.

Now that I've grown, I now know that my mother was dealing with a lot of problems, addiction and depression, and she was raising a kid all on her own. So of course there's going to be a lot of stress.

But to this day I can't shake the perception that what I said to her was what pushed her over the edge and made her take her own life. And I can never get rid of the guilt in knowing that I let her die without apologizing or letting her know that I loved her.

And that I still love her.


2. Too afraid to let go.

I'm not a real student. I take two courses a semester. It would take me 8 years to finish at this rate.

The only reason I'm at university is so that when people ask me what I'm doing with my life I don't have to say nothing.


3. Hang in there.

That I enjoy the life I live. That I enjoy the responsibility of being a breadwinner. That I am happy for the sacrifices we have made.

We had planned for me to be a stay-at-home dad until the children were in school, since I was the one who wanted to have children. I was going to finish my degree and begin my professional career afterwards.

Instead, my wife was laid off, I worked full time, went to school full-time, and graduated with an MBA. I shouldered the burden of paying the rent the whole time, meanwhile, my wife almost died in childbirth, suffered postpartum depression, and is slowly recovering 4 years later.

We discovered that our daughter is autistic, our debt in ridiculous, and I am pretty much on the verge of either hardcore depression or an anxiety attack every other day. The weight of what I've asked my wife to do, and what I've put us all through is soul-crushing, and rarely does it seem to be worth it.


4. If only we could read all of them.

That all the books I keep buying will get read before I die.


5. The candle man.

I tend to burn candles a decent amount in my office at work. I genuinely love the smell of them. And everyone knows me for being the guy who has great smelling candles. But it's not just because I like the smell. I have a high protein and high fiber diet. Usually eat eggs 4-5 days a week for breakfast as well. So I have gas all the time. I know they smell really bad. So I do what I can to cover up the smell of my own farts.


6. It's awful to feel so trapped.

That I enjoy it here at college. Everyday I wake up and think, "Did I do all my homework, really all of it? There's probably something I missed, I always miss something. Did I truly understand it? Probably not." Let's go do it again!

I go to lectures and class recitations to take quizzes and tests I go into feeling like I'm going to screw up -- that something will be on there that I won't understand but everyone in the rest of the class does because that's just me.

Look at all these other students, who are having such a GREAT time! How easy school is for all of them! "Man I did really bad on that test, I got a B." I get Cs, I'll gladly take what you call bad.

And I do this week after week and for the next 2 years maybe more, because I'm too scared to tell my parents I'm struggling and I'm told what a failure or disappointment my life will be if I don't have a degree in my hand.

How can I live the life I want without one? How can I get a good job without one? You probably can't. So here I am sitting in a university library taking a break from physics homework on to write this on my phone.


7. Pretending isn't always worth it.

I gave my son up for adoption a few years ago and pretty much everyone besides a few friends and my pops thinks I am totally alright with how everything turned out.

I know it is for the best and believe me, his mother and I were never going to work things out between us. That said, I still feel like I am continuously putting on a front when it gets brought up and lying about how I feel. I just smile and nod and listen to all the "he looks so much like you" talk. I am just not always in the mood to put on a happy face when it comes to the situation.


8. I'm not the guy you think I am.

I was born with a micropenis. For the last 25 years I've lied to literally every single one of my friends. Everyone knows me as that guy that whose had a lot of sex, but I've never had sex before.

It gets me depressed whenever I think about it, which is why I'm always doing something to get my mind off it. I've lost relationships due to it. It's something I cant tell anyone and I don't know if I can ever be with a girl.


9. Life isn't linear for everyone.

That I still like my friends from high school.

More and more I've started to see them become crappy people. They still hang out in the same clique, while gossiping and crap-talking about anyone who isn't in the in crowd.

They're too lazy to do anything to improve their life except complain. They consider themselves superior because they're farther along in the scripted adult life of getting a job, buying a house and getting married, and they write off people who aren't following the same script.

I honestly wish I'd moved farther away so that I would see them less.


10. Taking control of my life.

For two years I lied to family and friends that I was happy, healthy, and working on getting my degree. In reality I was depressed, overweight, and not taking classes at all.

I made the decision in March to stop lying and now I'm back in school full time, talking about my depression with family and my girlfriend has helped me immensely, and I've lost 30 pounds by changing the way I eat and not going out to bars four times a week.

My life is infinitely better since I stopped living lies and started actually living.


11. Young or old, we all have that in common.

Every day, I pretend to be a confident, mature adult. On the inside, I feel like I just hold it together enough to bluff people, but now I get asked to help in difficult situations.

I remember talking to an elderly aunt when I was 18 or 19, and I had complained that I didn't feel grown up yet. She replied that she didn't either.


12. It's okay to fail sometimes.

I'm the family "brainiac." I'm so high on a pedestal that my parents and family don't understand that they're killing me when they say, "She's the smart one."

If I were to screw up and fail at anything they come to me questioning what I did wrong, how I screwed up.

So I live the lie that I am that smart, secure person who is capable of anything. When in fact I'm terrified every day that I'll screw up and I'll be the one my family whispers about.


13. What am I doing?

That I actually write code at work, when in reality I'm sitting on Reddit 90% of the time.


14. It's scary to follow your passions.

That these boring office jobs are just a temporary phase until I'm stable enough to do what I love. I'm going to follow the easy path forever. I'm doomed.


Continue reading on the next page!

15. You can do it.

That I'm doing OK with sobriety. With a bunch of terrible personal things going on and the sweet allure of booze already fairly-permanently gripping my throat, I feel like I'm ready to crack at any moment.

Thank goodness for AA. Even with it I'm struggling, but I know I'd be in a bottle if I wasn't spending some time each day in the halls.


16. It's not easy being social.

That I enjoy spending time with people. I spend my whole day surrounded by people and have to keep up the faade of the occasional smile, laugh, and with having to predict what other people would expect me to say.

Truth be told, even with my closest friends I'd rather keep a screen between us. I like staying in my house, drapes closed with a fan on. I would either be reading, playing video games, watching movies or series, painting. Every one of them are solo activities, just how I like them.

And that one day I will finally be like the rest and find comfort in the company of others. Be happy, truly, instead of faking every feeling I express.

The only feelings that I can recall at any time is the feeling of anxiety and the feeling of impending failure.


17. Sorry, kids.

I work at a restaurant. Every time kids ask for a Sprite I actually give them a Sierra Mist.


18. Totally and irrevocably homesick.

That I like New York City. I moved here from Australia 3 years ago to get some international work experience. I've got a great job and a couple of good friends but most of the time I find this city tedious.

People treat New York like it has it's own personality, like it is somehow more special than other cities - it's not. I have done so much in this city, watched every sport imaginable, seen amazing bands, ate incredible food and partied harder than I ever thought possible. But the things I've done have not made me happier or a better person, they're just memories. Meanwhile, I'm facing another Christmas, another birthday alone and away from my family.


Continue reading on the next page!

19. It's all a facade.

That me and my girlfriend are just best friends. Truth is we are dating, we've been dating for almost a year but our families are super conservative and she'd get kicked out of her house if they found out she's dating a girl.


20. Constant numbness.

Years ago when I was about 14, I was diagnosed with Schizoid disorder, which means I don't feel emotions to the same scale everyone else does. I tell people I love them when really they're just another human to me, and I've never actually been sad but I know the social cues of when I should and have faked it, and the only true emotion I've ever felt is anger.

Everyone says I'm extremely caring and respectable when in reality I've just watched them enough to know what response they truly want and faked that. I've held crying people in my arms and have seriously wondered why I should be bothered with dealing with them.


21. He checked out a long time

My family thinks I'm a Jehovah's Witness, including my wife. If I ever left the religion, I'd no longer be allowed to speak to any of my friends, family, and anyone else in my life who is a witness, aside from my wife.

I do not believe in that religion after doing research from third party information. Just doing that research is enough to be shunned. So...that's my lie.

My whole family thinks I'm part of a religion that I'm actively trying to leave.


22. It's not what you think.

That I have a degree and am currently grad job hunting.

I don't have a degree, flunked during exam season with a sad case of anxiety. I have plans to correct this but I won't be telling anyone (excluding my significant other) about this ever.


Continue reading on the next page!

23. He's knee-deep in ketchup and lies.

Four years ago, I was eating breakfast with a couple of friends. I hate the idea of ketchup on breakfast foods, but one of my buddies eats his ketchup with a side of breakfast.

In an attempt to stop him, so I didn't have to watch him drown his chicken fried steak and hash browns in a ketchup gravy mixture, I made up how I despise ketchup and even the thought or smell of it made me gag. I sat there, fake gagging to attempt to stop the massacre of that poor chicken fried steak.

Word began to spread like wildfire about how I despised ketchup. I figured it would be easiest just to go along with it. To this day I cant enjoy a nice side of ketchup on my fries, hamburgers, or hotdogs in public unless I am eating alone.

I have moved away to college and this rumor has followed me and even all my family thinks of me as silly for hating ketchup. I have accepted I wont get to enjoy ketchup again. At this point i'm in to deep and it would be hard to go back.


24. The worst kind of love is unrequited love

That one day she'll love me. I know it won't happen deep down. I don't know how to let go.


25. School isn't always the answer.

That school will help me in some way and that I haven't wasted the last five years of my life only to be in a worse situation than I began in.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.