'I Have A Maid For That' People Share The Stupidest Thing They've Actually Had To Show Someone How To Do.
We've all been young and dumb, but at a certain point there are some very basic things you should know how to do. Laundry, washing dishes, how to use a can opener.
Here are some of the stupidest things people have had to explain to someone how to do.
Many thanks to all of the Reddit users who responded. You can check out more answer from the source at the end of this article!
1/25. Teenagers no longer know how to read analog clocks. I work in a library, and whenever someone asks the time, I point at the clock above the desk. Four out of the five kids can't read it.
2/25. I had to show a friend how to eat an orange without a knife before. He had an orange and couldn't open it, so I started it off, tore a bit of the peel off and gave it back to him to finish peeling it. Looked back a minute later and he was trying to eat the orange through the small tear I'd made in the skin. Juice was everywhere.
3/25. Not exactly "stupidest", but it was definitely an eye-opener.
First day of class, freshman year in college. Sat down for lunch with an Indian guy who apparently had never seen a tea bag. It seems he was expecting loose-leaf tea in the little Lipton packet. After a few moments where he looked at it blankly, I showed him how to dip it, and let it steep.
The kicker was when he asked for the sugar. He was likely expecting a bowl of it. Upon receiving the container of little packets, he looked at them for a moment, then proceeded to grab one, and dip it into his cup exactly as he had done with the tea bag.
Looking back, I guess it was logical.
4/25. The other day, the office manager was trying to send out a message on our mailing list program. She said, "How do I create a new email?"
I said, "See at the top, where it says 'Create email'?"
"Oh... Where do I put in the email name?"
I said, "See at the top, where it says 'Email name'?"
"Oh... Where do I select which email list to send it to?"
I said, "See at the top, where it says 'Email list'?"
And on and on and on, for twenty minutes. The instructions are all right there, but she refused to read anything. As some engineer once said, make it idiot-proof, and they'll just build a better idiot.
5/25. In 3rd grade my mom had to make an address book for our small school. This is how the conversation went:
Mom: "DANG IT I screwed up the addresses again."
Proceeds to delete said messed up addresses and retype them in appropriate spots
Me: "Why don't you just cut and paste mom?"
Mom: "Wha- I am using a computer sweetheart not craft supplies."
6/25. How to double-click on a desktop icon.
Click twice please... a bit faster please... a tad faster... wait for it to load as she clicks on the icon 10 times in rapid succession.
7/25. Measure their child for a six flags height requirement.
She kept holding her daughter above the ground so she would be at the line. It ended with her telling me to shut up and being escorted off the ride.
8/25. Start of freshman year we were doing conditioning for football.
Now I went to a magnet school, so the people who were in the school were not exactly contributing much to our sports teams, but this individual was at another level below everyone else in terms of athleticism. He just had never done anything athletic in his life.
The coach tells us to do the ski jump drill (for those of you who don't know you jump side to side over a line for a set amount of time. It can get very taxing after a few minutes).
This one kid goes up to the coach and tells him he doesn't know how to jump. After the coach got over his dumbfounded look, the coaches had to take him to the curb of the sidewalk and teach him how to jump.
I understand a lack of athleticism, but this was incredible. Really people get outside sometimes!
9/25. This is stupid and sad at the same time.
There was an elderly lady (70+) bothering the cashier at the corner gas station about the air pump not working. I offered to help her figure out what was wrong. I took her quarters, ran the pump, and filled her tires.
When I was done she burst into tears. Her recently deceased husband had always taken care of everything for her. She couldn't pump gas, check her fluids or do even the most basic car care for herself. I got her to follow me to my home where I gave her a car a complete checking, wrote her a list of basic repairs (brake pads, turn signal bulbs) and sent her to my mechanic with a note from me.
Mechanic friend calls laughing 20 minutes later saying the lady was referring to me as a nice fat lesbian. I was 8 months pregnant!
Moral for the ladies: Don't underestimate your abilities.
10/25. Turn the shower water onto hot.
Seriously, my roommate spent our entire first semester taking cold showers. I felt like a god teaching her how to turn the knob 30 more degrees to the right for HOT WATER.
11/25. My mother in law, bless her heart, is an idiot. Anyway, she came to visit us in Austin in January. It's chilly, as are many places in the northern hemisphere in January. She flew into San Antonion and drove up to Austin in a rental - about a 2 hour drive. Anyway, she gets here and tells my husband that the heat is broken in her rental car.
It was freezing cold the entire drive. He gets in, takes a look, and says it seems to be working fine. She says "but you didn't push the snowflake?" She had pushed the "snowflake" button (i.e. the one that turns the AC on) and turned the little lever all the way to the blue section on the blue/red scale, then drove for 2 hours with the AC pumping at full blast. She thought you pushed the snowflake to tell the car you were cold, then pushed the lever to blue to show the car how cold you were.
This was not her first time in a car or seeing these symbols. You know, the symbols that are designed to be universal and able to be understood by anybody regardless of literacy. She just never understood them the first 55 years of her life or so.
12/25. How to actually turn on a computer and TV.
My granddad never knows what a power button looks like and just starts yelling at the appliance to turn on until someone does it for him. It's pretty effective actually...
13/25. How to make top ramen. As a subset of that, she didn't understand how to boil water.
In the end, she burnt it, which I didn't think was possible.
14/25. College English class:
Professor says: Turn to (insert short story title here)"
Student says: "What page is it on"?
I say: "Use the Table of Contents."
Student says " Where is it?"
I say: "In the front of the book, it's the first few pages."
Student proceeds to receive a short tutorial on how to use a book.
This was a junior level class and I was a sophomore.
15/25. Not me, but I'm a manager at Panera and this girl was training to work on the sandwich line.
A customer goes up to and ask for mayonnaise because we ran outta of the packets. I yell over to one of the guys to get me a side of mayo from the sandwich line, but then I remember that I have to make sure this girl knows how to do certain things too.
So, I add "And show her how to put the mayo in the cup" and he goes "Alright, so first you get the cup and then you get the mayonnaise" and the dish guy in the back chimes in "Don't forget to tell her to put the mayonnaise in the cup, that part's important too".
I need to work on my management style.
16/25. Boil water. I literally had to stand there and tell her when there were enough bubbles.
17/25. I was walking through a parking lot once and an elderly woman in a Mercedes pulled up and asked me if I could help her with her air conditioning.
She proceeded to get out of the car, ask me to sit in the drivers seat, and turn it on for her. The AC was fully functional, she just had no idea how to use it.
18/25. Move a mouse. Literally my grandma never figured out how to move the mouse. She just stopped using the computer I setup for her.
19/25. Open a soda can. I have no clue how, but one of my exes didn't know how to open it. I handed her a soda, and about half hour later, I realized that she hadn't opened it. I asked her why, and she whispers to me "I don't know how to open it." Many laughs were had.
20/25. How to put on mattress cover. She usually has the maid to do it for her and she is 18.
This article concludes on the next page!
21/25. Now open the jar. The lid. The lid. The lid. The lid.
22/25. I've worked in kitchens for years. I've worked with a fair number of 15-16-17-18 year old kids who have no idea how to do basic tasks like wash dishes, scrub pans, sweep the floor, peel potatoes, one kid didn't even know how to put a pan of water on to boil, and another kid didn't know what onions looked like. It could get quite depressing after a while.
23/25. Showed my 27 year old brother how to use a can opener. I let him struggle for a good 5 minutes just for the laughs though.
24/25. As a math tutor at a university, I once had to show two students how to add.
25/25. My husband's sister moved in with us when she was 16 and I had to explain that if you put dishes in the dishwasher with the lids on them, they weren't going to get clean.
We are told that, if you're not confident, you should just "fake it til you make it."
This is great--in theory. In practice, sometimes "faking it" can have extremely real and terrible consequences, which these people found out the hardest of hard ways.