'I Proposed By Accident': People Share Lies They Told That Got Way Out Of Hand
And it all started with one little lie...
These Redditors didn't know their innocent fib would snowball into something much bigger!
[Sources listed at the end of the article.]
When I was a little kid, I told my mom I really liked her tuna casserole. I was just trying to be nice and pay her a compliment since she seemed like she was having a bad day.
Pretty much every time I go to visit her she has some tuna casserole waiting for me. I don't actually like tuna casserole that much, but it's such a sweet gesture that I don't have the heart to tell her to stop. This has been going on for over thirty years now.
Pretty silly but I think it fits the bill. When I was about 5 I remember being in the bathroom and brushing my teeth. My mum was there and berated me for something. Later, being a sensitive child, I was crying in bed about it. My parents came in all concerned and my mum asked: "was it because I yelled at you earlier?"
Embarrassed at being caught out so easily, I said "No.. I'm sad because.. Because I can't swim." Soon after I was taken to swimming lessons. I hated swimming.
When I first started dating this girl I told her that I don't like porn.
Flash forward 6 years, we're married and watching an episode of "Friends" where one of the girls thinks her bf doesn't like porn. My wife turns to me and says "well not ALL guys like porn! You don't like it, right?"
Me: "That's right, honey. It's not for me."
I had a coworker tell me he got married on accident. It was Christmas morning and he bought his girlfriend a ring as a Christmas present. They were both sitting around the tree and when she opened it she started to cry and said, "well are you going to ask me?" That's when he realized what he had done. He got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. Moral of the story, don't ever buy a ring for a girl unless you are planning on marrying her.
A couple years ago, I went to a bar in a US town I didn't expect to be in very often (I live in the next town over), and I decided to don a Scottish accent and make up a back story for a fictitious version of myself.
Now, I doubt my accent would have fooled someone actually from Edinburgh, but by the end of the night I had a group of Americans and one bemused Australian chatting with me about the things that make the US a strange place to visit from abroad. Shots were bought, back slaps given, and a good night had; I thought nothing else of it.
...until I was dating a girl from the next town over, and she took me to her favorite bar. That bar. We walked in, someone greeted my by my "name", and I did the only thing I could do -- cheerfully donned my fraudulent accent, explained that my business trip had been indefinitely extended, and spent the next twenty minutes furtively explaining to my date that I wasn't a con man, just an ex-actor with terrible impulse control.
A girl I lived with two years ago thought I was stealing her yoghurt out of the fridge. I told her it couldn't have been me since I'm allergic to dairy, and now I still can't eat dairy in front of her or anyone from that friend group. She made me a dairy free cake for my birthday - the guilt is eating me alive.
Okay, yeah, I ate the freakin' yoghurt and it was delicious.
When I was younger I walking home at night and the street lights were off, I got scared and starting running, knocked myself clean out on a lamppost. Someone walking their dog found me and called the ambulance.
I was so embarrassed when I woke up I told the nurse I was mugged (I was 12). My parents turned up at the same time as the police. I gave a description that sounded a lot like Gonzo from the muppets and police were searching the area with sniffer dogs. Thank goodness nobody was arrested and I still haven't told my parents.
My now-wife and I were dating in college in the early 80's. One night we went out to a party where she proceeded to get very drunk.
The next morning I asked her if she remembered the little organ grinder monkey that somebody had brought to the party as a joke and she played patty-cake with it. She didn't believe me at first so she asked my roommate. He was always on his game and confirmed it without hesitation. He even added to the story a bit.
All 100% complete bull. No monkey to be had.
Fast forward 30+ years. It's now a family legend. She tells everyone about it. Parents/siblings/children/friends have heard the story dozens of times. It invariably comes up at every family gathering. People hearing it for the first time howl with laughter because she has the rap down cold by now and delivers it with skill. Those that have heard it repeatedly just cringe and roll their eyes.
I'm the only one (besides roommate whom I haven't seen in 20+ years) that knows it's all made up. I'm scared to tell her the truth, so I wrote her a sealed letter and put it in my will.
I am a professor and many times I will tell personal stories in an effort to demonstrate tough concepts. About half of these stories I made up at some point.
I don't remember which ones are real and which ones are lies. So I just go with them and don't worry about it.
I'm the kind of person that always leaves my shoes tied and just slips them on. I'm dating this girl for a couple months and then one day my shoe gets untied but I'm too lazy to retie it. It really bothers her and she insists on me tying it. I really don't want to bend over and do it for some reason. It was around the time when there was that meme going around of Liam Neeson getting his shoe tied by Olivia Wilde, and I was crazy jealous because I really liked Olivia Wilde since watching House.
She eventually asks me, "Don't you know how to tie your shoes??" In my head I'm seeing Liam Neeson getting his shoes tied by Olivia Wilde and how cool it looks. So I say, "No... I never learned how, you can't tell anyone..."
To this day, when my shoe gets untied in public she will pull me off to the side away from other people and secretly tie my shoe. For some reason it makes her happy and it's the sweetest thing ever. I can't understand how she would even tolerate a grown man who doesn't know how to tie his own shoe! I'll never be Liam Neeson cool, but I've found my Olivia Wilde.
Met my wife on one of those telephone chat dating things in the 90's. Basically, before Internet dating, you would sign up for a voicemail and describe yourself. We connected and went out but were both embarrassed for using it. Fast forward 18 years, we continue to tell everyone we met in the music section at a department store.
My brother had a gf with a younger sister my age and they all came to watch me play baseball once. I was pretty smitten with the younger sister and so after the game I started bragging about how I played guitar. My brother laughed in my face and said I had got a guitar but it had been collecting dust for months and I'd never have the patience to learn an instrument anyway.
I was so embarrassed by being called out and doubted, I went home, told my mom I wanted to take lessons again, and here I am 20 years later still playing guitar every day.
I was scared of heights and would get sick by the sight of blood. I needed a job, so I lied about all this to become a firefighter.
Today, I love my job, I've worked as an ambulance driver too, and I overcame my fears.
Whenever you meet that special person, that for some reason falls for you head over heels, and worships the ground you walk on, be very careful when they ask you whether you love them.
I'm now married for four years and my partner is so amazing and loving that I don't have the heart to say, "I'm not sure."
I dislocated my knee dancing like an animal whilst drunk in January. Ended up on crutches for three weeks. Told everyone at work I did it bending down to grab something from the freezer because I didn't want them to think I was a party animal. People at work are still shocked that I dislocated it so 'easily' and keep saying how unlucky I am and bringing the sympathy. Now I just feel like a fraud.
I once told people I had been bitten by a venomous snake to get out of work for a few days.... I had already called in sick a ton of times and just could not face them if I did it again. I am young and in good health, there is just no way even an old frail person is ill as much as I am calling in.... so yes, snake bite. They knew I kept venomous snakes as pets and I thought "this is a great idea."
Turns out they were fascinated and wanted to see so I had to wrap my foot up in a huge bandage and hobble around for weeks.... luckily I was moving to another job I actually didn't hate a few weeks after that. I didn't have to deform my own feet or actually let one of my venomous snakes bite me so that I would not get busted... I was not far off doing so!!
While me and my SO were still dating (maybe 2 weeks or so in), she winked at me when I walked into the pub she worked in. Me being the goof that I am, I winked back but messed it up on purpose and just sort of shut my eyes tight for a second, making her believe that I couldn't wink.
I kept my little joke going, and now it's over 6 years later and she still doesn't think i'm capable of winking.
One of my favorite things to do is just stand behind her and wink to whoever she's talking to, purely for my own amusement.
I have to pretend to I have an average or even bad memory because I actually have an incredibly good memory, and when I remember small or insignificant details about people, they tend to get a little self-conscious about it.
That I am allergic to bees. I was so scared of them in grade school and junior high, that I convinced everybody that I am allergic so they don't judge me when I run from bees.
When I was 13 I was playing a very popular online multiplayer game and someone else in the game asked me my age. 13 felt so young, so I lied and said I was 14, cause that meant I was so much more mature. Well I kept playing that game, with the same group of people, and 4 years later they thought I was 18.
Someone started asking me how my applications to college were going since I was that age. Being caught in the lie about my age I played along and asked for advice. I played along with the advice which resulted in me actually putting in a college application to a university and.... I got in. As a high school junior.
So to keep up this lie about my age I now had to finish high school quickly so I could actually go to this university that accepted me. The great part is that I was able to do this by overloading my spring semester of "Senior" year high school with online classes (yay Florida online high school). I managed to graduate high school a year early and went to university a year early to keep this lie going.
So here I am, at a university 1000 miles from my home state, finished my BS and am now doing a masters, all because 14 sounded way more mature than 13 in an online game.
When I was a kid, I got the bright idea to put a knotted cherry stem under my tongue, and then show my sister an untied stem and magically tie it in a knot in my mouth in seconds.
Fast forward about 20 years my entire extended family thinks I have this weird ability to tie knots with my tongue... it's a complete lie. At this point I refuse to do it, and get almost defensive when people bring it up or ask to show it again. Pretty sure I got the idea from The Simpsons or some other show, and now it has stuck with me as a curse.
My parents are almost empty nesters and live in Colorado, last year by complete mistake all of her kids found jobs/school in Utah County, Utah. My mother decided she wanted to take up on one last road trip, so we flew in to Colorado, and she drove us back home. It doesn't sound like too much, but my family is poor and it was a very nice gesture. Plus there are places on the way we always used to stop at, like the Little America Hotel in WY. And the Grand America brunch buffet.
All of this is far too expensive for my parents. Now what you should also know is that I was a brat of a kid and treated my mom especially very disrespectfully. I've always felt guilty about it. So on the way, I discreetly called and payed for everything, or would sneak out during a meal to "go to the bathroom" and would slip a waiter a card.
At each stop the staff would play along and mention how the room had to be changed so they gave it to us for free, or how a kind stranger payed for our meal. And I was never caught. My family's appreciation for the amazing people of the midwest was too much for my mother and she broke down to me and told me how she had no idea how she was going to pay for our trip but she did it anyway because she wanted to be with her boys one last time before we were all too busy, or she too old. She felt her prayers had been answered, and I certainly wasn't going to tell her otherwise.
Moral of the story: Kids, be good to your parents.
Well, I told my parents I had graduated with a bachelor's degree and now I'm studying to get another degree. I'm so deep in that lie that I don't know what I'm gonna do when they find out it has been 6 years and I haven't graduated yet.
Everyone I work with thinks I watch The Walking Dead. I haven't viewed it since Season Two. Now I find myself reading the synopsis of episodes the day after they come out just to perpetuate the lie.
I have a horizontal scar on my stomach from a surgery I had when I was a baby. For some reason in elementary school I would tell everyone that it was from when a bear attacked me.
I'm now almost 30 and people I went to elementary school with still recognize me in public as that guy that got attacked by a bear.
I had never watched Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa. I was discussing movies with a friend I met online and lied to them that I have watched it. The friend was like, "Oh, cool. I haven't watched it though." I thought the matter was laid to rest and moved on to other movies for discussion.
Our friendship grew stronger and finally decided to meet IRL.
Though I was excited to meet them, however, the lie about Seven Samurai kept pestering me and was scared that they might ask me about the movie I haven't watched. And unlike online chatting, in a face to face conversation, I wouldn't be able to take help of the internet.
So, I downloaded and watched the entire movie before meeting this person. I don't regret watching the movie. But the trepidations might have been avoided by not lying to them in the first place.
And no, the friend didn't ask me about Seven Samurai when we met.
When I was 10 I learned I could make myself throw up, so I used this to get out of school for like two weeks. My parents couldn't figure what was wrong with me because I didn't have a fever or anything. My aunt had the idea that I was allergic to red food dye, because her grandson (my second cousin) was. I just kinda rolled with it, and so for years my house never had red Gatorade, strawberry pop tarts, etc.
I eventually told my parents I was faking it when I turned 20, they were not amused.
My sister has told our family that she was abducted by aliens. She says that that they come and take her once every few months and perform experiments on her.
My parents are pretty kooky, and they totally bought into it. They found her an abduction support group and she has to go to meetings once a month. This has been going on for 7 years now. She told me that she was going to tell them initially it was an April Fools Day prank but she let it slide a little too long. Now look what happened.
Someone at work, who is grungy, a chain-smoker, and never washes her hands, made a carrot cake and was asking people to try it. I told her I was allergic to carrots. I love carrots. To this day whenever I order or bring a salad to work I have to have it with no carrots.
My daughter was accidentally conceived in a "threesome" when our friend's birth control failed.
We just told everyone that we got a surrogate because my wife wanted to focus on her career. No one actually knows that the threesome happened, then the pregnancy, and then my wife and I then decided to take the baby in as if she was ours.
It actually work pretty well, in the past 4 years since, my wife has been promoted and is making a great living for us while I stay home with our daughter. My wife sometimes jokes that she accidentally had her cake and ate it too, since she now has a daughter and didn't have to leave work during a very busy time that was important for her career.
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.
The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.
Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"