"I'm never doing that again," they said, after drinking too much Moonshine and waking up on top of a garage. Some things you only need to do once.
-Schino- asked Redditors that have learned their lesson: What are some of your "Well, I'm never doing that again" moments?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
10. Moonshine. 'Nuff said.
I was about 30 and it was St Patricks Day.
I was watching the Six Nations Rugby, Ireland V England, at an Irish pub in the U.K.
There was a bottle of "Holy Water" with a picture of the Virgin Mary on the front. That had been brought back from Ireland. Apparently from the shrine at Knock, county Mayo.
However as became apparent, the "holy water" was in fact poteen, and not from a shop, if you get what i'm saying. People were sharing it around, having a little sip. "Just wet your lips" was the phrase. Well i had a couple of glasses at about 3 p.m. I woke up at 6 a.m. the next morning ON TOP OF A GARAGE ROOF.
I got home around 7 a.m. and slept all day, was sick every hour or two and didn't recover for two or three days.
Don't drink moonshine. Ever.
First time I ever had moonshine O got into a state where I didn't realize how drunk I was and kept going back for other things. I remember thinking the buzz was wearing off so I should have just another shot to sip while it does. Totally caused me to miscalculate and drink more than I ever drank in my life.
Had the only hangover of my life after that. Never again.
9. "No I won't show you my Grindr."
Telling my friends whom I have a crush on... they're "trustworthy."
My brother made the mistake of telling a friend he was gay in high school. She asked his best friend if he had told her. The next day, literally everyone knew because the "best friend" was a loud mouthed c*nt.
8. Go big or go home.
The very first time I tried Marijuana was in the form of an edible.
A 500mg edible.
This hiking thing looks pretty fun, maybe I should start with Mount Everest
Worst thing is when you try an edible for the first time, go in with a low dose to play it safe, a couple hours go by and it's nothing big, so time to double that dose, another hour goes by and oh wait, it's that first dose kicking in.
We have ocean kayaks which are built for riding waves. We lived on a dangerous stretch of the Pacific, which was great for riding waves. Your paddle is tethered to the boat like a surf board is to your ankle, so if you wipe out it doesn't get lost, you just hang on to the paddle. Well, I'm coming into a wave, the kayak flips and the wave makes it smack into my head as I hit the water. the paddle tether wraps around my neck and I get dragged to shore by the noose and buyout boat. I never surfed with a kayak again. A board is a lot safer.
Start of this year I kayaked in the ocean too against the waves. I underestimated one of the waves and unfortunately, the kayak topped forwards nose diving into the water. This water was shallow too.
6. Nope nope nope.
I uhhh tried to wax my own armpits. I've been doing my own eyebrows for years and have had other parts professionally done with no major issues so I figured, hey, I know what this feels like, I can make it happen, and then I don't have to shave for two weeks. Cool. So I applied the wax and the cloth strip you use to rip it off, but when I went to rip it off, I...couldn't. I don't know if it was the angle of my arm or the size of the patch, but that shit was stuck on there like superglue.
I ended up having to call my partner at the time in from the other room to do it for me. I shrieked so loud or neighbors came knocking on the door to make sure no was actively being murdered, only to find me doubled over in the bathroom with one arm in the air bleeding from the armpit and my partner on the floor in the entryway howling with laughter.
5. What were you expecting?
Going to see Plymouth Rock.
It's a f*cking rock.
Wait, what did you think it was going to be?
At the very least, a bigger rock. It's like the size of a beanbag chair.
My dad loves the American Civil War and him and mum took a trip around the battlefields.He came home and showed me all the pictures he'd taken. 80% of these were just fields. Just pictures and pictures of fields. Exactly like the ones we have here. Fields.
It was then I realized the true depth of my mother's love for him cos there's no f*cking way I would have gone on that trip.
To be fair I've been to the battlefields before and pics don't do them justice. It's definitely something you have to be there for to get the full scope of the battle.
4. This was a poor plan.
Another post reminded me: I snorted Pop Rocks. You could hear my sinuses popping. Spoiler alert: it f'ing hurt
A bunch of kids in my middle school back in the 80s snorted Pixie Stix. I'm not sure I understand even now.
Smarties were banned at my school because kids would crush them me and then snort em.
3. Okay yeah no.
Washing my balls with hand sanitizer.
In the Navy we dared someone to rub one out with icy hot. He started and was like this is amazing, why isn't everyone doing this it's so nniiiiiii see why. God it burns it burns.
2. Where tf were you hiking dude?
Grabbed an electric fence, hurt like sh*t, went to climb under it, scraped off my back, decided to never go off course when hiking again.
Were you hiking in Jurassic Park?
1. Same. Never again.
When I was a little kid, I stuck a finger into the cigarette lighter in my dads car. He wasn't a smoker and I didn't know what it was for. I seared my fingerprint crispy.
"But the lighter isn't red, it's black. It's probably not hot." *sizzle*
Why yes, I've done this.
My exact thought process the one time I tried it. Smelled terrible too.
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: