'It Better Be A Huge Urn.' People Share The Strangest Dying Wish They've Ever Heard.
No one knows for certain what happens after our life is over, but you can know what your last with will be. Some just want their favorite food, some want a special funeral, and then some people want things on the stranger side...
Here are thirty of the best dying wishes people were willing to share.
Many thanks to the Redditor who posed this question. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!
1/30. My friend's dad told him he wants to be cremated and mixed with flour to make "Dave cookies." My dad said he wants to be cremated and have his ashes mixed with paint, and have an artist paint a portrait of him with it.
2/30. Last week I told my dad "Your sister has some money leftover from Grandma's funeral. She wants to put it away for you for whenever you die since funerals are expensive and you don't have any money. Do you wanna be buried here or in NJ?"
He said "BURIED? I don't wanna be buried! Throw me naked in a dumpster with my butt sticking out so the world can kiss it!"
That's when I knew he'd make a full recovery from his stroke.
3/30. My Geology teacher told us he wants his ashes thrown in the water over Marianas Trench. Apparently it's a subduction zone, and in a few million years he'll become a rock.
4/30. One of my ex-girlfriends' grandfather was a pilot from wayyy back in the day. He HATED me because at the time I had long hippie hair and a beard (I was in a band) and he was the kind of guy that would always wear a suit and tie, and he was ALWAYS smoking. He had a love of cigars and alcohol, and had enjoyed both through his whole life, and his health was mostly great except for the fact that he was ridiculously old. (continued...)
Anyway. Apparently he had told her that when he died, he wanted to be dropped from an airplane. While wearing his old pilot gear. Not cremated, just like... Flown up into the air, and dumped out of a plane. And all I could think of was some regular person, going around doing their regular thing, when a ninety-something year old man wearing some old ass pilot suit falls out of the clouds in front of them and ruins their regular day. they didn't do that.
5/30. Just last night my husband told me that if he dies before me, he wants me to re-marry for money.
6/30. My great uncle found out he had cancer and it was really bad. Near the end he was sent home to wait for death pretty much. So he decided to bring all his boys back home to drink a case of his favorite beer, under the apple tree he planted as a child at the farm house. His ashes are in those bottles under the tree to this day.
7/30. My grandpa asked me to get him a bottle of scotch from the kitchen.
Then his heart exploded.
8/30. My Dad: cremated and put into a paper bag and then held out the window while drive up Hwy 400 in Ontario...until he discovered donating your body to science gets you a free funeral.
His Best Friend: cremated and turned into shot gun shells to be fired on every continent.
9/30. There was a climber, Paul Humphrey, that frequented a climber's forum, Super Topo. He died of skin cancer, after a long battle. His last wish was to be cremated and have a bit of his ashes be put into chalk bags so that he could climb around the world, with new friends.
He wanted them to be called Paul's Balls. his last wish came true and many people, including myself, documented their climbs done with Paul.
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10/30. My grandfather wanted to be cremated and put into an old Mickey Mouse Club lunch box...then hurtled from a bridge in Northern California.
11/30. My buddy wants to have a full bar at his funeral with his coffin as the bar, so everyone can have one last drink on him. I feel its awfully morbid for a pun.
12/30. My stoner buddy wanted to have his ashes sprinkled in the fertilizer dirt of his favorite grow house.
His parents wouldn't allow it. They even had the undertaker people cut his hair very short and shave his beard. I didn't know who he was in his casket.
13/30. My final request to my wife for when I pass away is just to make sure she picks out a very nice urn.
She replied, "But I don't want you to be cremated."
I replied back, "I don't want to be cremated either - so it better be a huge urn."
14/30. My girlfriend is going to a wedding this weekend. The bride has a terminal illness and her dying wish was to get married.
15/30. I would like for my body parts (arms, legs, head, torso, fingers) to be chopped up and implanted with gps tracking devices. (continued...)
Those body parts would then be encased in resin and buried in remote areas of the world; places that would require a real adventure to get to. A year later the coordinates would be released online and the first team to reassemble my body wins my estate.
16/30. I want to be freeze dried and still taken out to parties.
17/30. My dad wanted to be cremated and mixed with my mom. When I told her this she said "Oh hell no!"
18/30. I never got to go to my grandfather's funeral because I was going on a school trip to D.C. while he was sick. I told him I didn't really want to go, but he was insistent that I go. We both knew it was getting near his time, but he knew how much I loved history and that I probably wouldn't get a chance for a long time again. That night, while I was on the bus, he died.
His last words to me were "BGS, go see the world. I never got to leave this country. I want you to see everything. Not for me. For you."
Will do, Grandpa. Will do.
19/30. To be laid to rest quietly is my greatest fear, being lowered into the ground is my nightmare. I will have no demands beyond those of my funeral arrangements.
A funeral pyre will be constructed on a simple wooden raft with a mast and torch atop it (both constructed by my eldest son), which in turn rests on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean.
My body will be laid out on the pyre, nude as the day I came to this world. All I need shall be provided for me in Valhalla.
My second eldest son will load the raft with as many fireworks as possible, all aiming skyward. (continued...)
The youngest son will douse the pyre in gasoline, careful to avoid the torch on the mast.
At exactly 11:30 pm, my youngest son will light the torch on the top of the mast, then assist his 2 brothers in shoving the raft off shore towards due east.
At the stroke of midnight, "Sons of Odin" by Manowar will start to play. My only daughter will take a bow and arrow with a gasoline-soaked rag at the tip and take careful aim at the torch which marks the position of my raft in the infinite darkness.
On her mark, the second son will light the rag on fire and she will let the arrow fly. It will hit my raft, and the raft will immediately go up in flames and fireworks will shoot into the sky, spiral outwards and explode.
20/30. I was helping someone write a will, she said she wanted her cat put to sleep and buried with her if she died first. We didn't end up putting that in the will.
21/30. My great aunt was cremated, and in her will it stated "I would like 'Disco Inferno' by The Trammps to play as people are leaving my funeral service.
We did it.
"Burrrrnn babby burrrrn"
22/30. My buddy wants to have a radio at his funeral playing the song "It's a great day to be alive".
23/30. My great uncle Mel "bury me by the mall so i'm always by the action." my great Aunt Helen "stick a ham bone up my ass and let the coyotes have me."
24/30. My mom hasn't kicked the bucket yet, but she has told me (and I quote):
"forget this 'everybody be sad stuff' when I die, you are to throw a party. There will be booze and food and stuff. And a DJ. It must be crazy. If the cops don't show up to shut it down, you are a disgrace to me and the entire family."
25/30. My grandfathers last request was for a danish and a cup of coffee.
26 When my uncle passed away he wanted his ashes to be spread in Hawaii to force everyone to have a good time. Im going to do the same.
27/30. My dad once saw a grave that said 'Gone, but not forgotten." So he decided that he wants his grave to say "Forgotten, but not gone" to freak out people reading it.
28/30. My Grandpa Earl heard about a woman who made earrings and other glass art from the ashes of the Mount Saint Helen's eruption. So he contacted her to ask if she could do the same with his ashes. Amazingly she said yes. So he made plans to have a pair of earrings made for my Grandma and his four daughters. As his name was Earl, he kept calling them "Earlrings."
My Grandma and one of my aunts were appalled by the idea, so they came to a compromise. Instead of having his cremated remains made into earrings, he had them made into glass balls. Now every member of our family has their own piece of him.
29/30. My parents want to be composted. Yep. I grew up with hippies.
30/30. I asked my daughter to stuff me like a giant bean bag with button eyes so the grandkids could sit on my lap and still play with grandma.
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.
The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.
Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"