IRL

Kids Reveal The Stupidest Thing Their Parents Have Ever Done

Parents don't have the easiest job in the world; they have to not only keep us alive for the first 18 years of our lives, but they also have to try to teach us to be decent and functional human beings. Unfortunately, they aren't immune to the same really bad decisions and dumb ideas that plague all of us, and that can make their job a heck of a lot harder along the way.


Reddit user SittingOnTheToilet82 asked:

"Kids, when did you realize your parents might be terminally stupid?"

This Hurts Me Physically

I asked my mom for Super Mario All Stars on the Super Nintendo for my 8th or 9th birthday. She had no idea what I was talking about, so I explained what the game was. For those who may not know, it had all the original NES Mario games, Super Mario World, and one other Mario game that I think was previously unreleased. The SNES was still new, so games were expensive, but that was literally all I had asked for so I was fairly confident.

A couple of weeks went by and I didn't think really think much about it. On my birthday, I came home from school to a big wrapped box, much bigger than the game. I tore into it and opened up the box to find an old Nintendo. Next to it were cartridges for the first 3 Mario games. I was so confused.

Mom: "It's exactly what you wanted!"

Me: "...it is?"

Mom: "Yes! I took your Super Nintendo and to the swap meet and traded it in for the games that you wanted!"

It's been over 20 years and she hasn't gotten any better.

Edit: Thank you kind stranger!

wskv

Wow

Finally a story I can tell. Every Friday my mother goes grocery shopping. It's a block away and she usually drives there. On this particular day after she finished shopping she decides to walk back.

The next morning she wakes me and my father up to let us know her car was stolen. Cops come, we fill out paperwork and in the meanwhile she gets a rental car.

That's not even the best part. The following Friday she drives again to the grocery market and parks right next to her "stolen" car which is a champagne colored Mitsubishi Diamante(not such a common car/color). She comments how similar the car looks like hers but makes nothing of it.

A few days later the cops call us to let us know the car is in the grocery store's parking lot 1 block away.

Yea...I got plenty of other stories but that's probably the best one.

picklejuice247

This Teacher Gets It

When I was in 4th grade, my mother insisted helping with my homework for some reason. I was always a smart kid. I never needed help but she forced me to let her help. She proceeded to redo my math and spelling homework and I failed both assignments. I told her those answers were wrong and she fought me on it.

When I got to school I cried and told the teacher my mom made me put wrong answers and I told her I knew the right ones but my mom forced me to let her help.

The teacher laughed, took my paper and asked me the questions. after I got two right immediately she marked everything on the page wrong and gave it back to me. She told me not to worry she put 100% in the grade book she just wanted me to show that one to my mom.

grathungar

¿Porque No Los Dos?

My dad crashed his car at 8am, on his way to work, because he was surprised at a naked woman streaking across the road.

When the police turned up and asked what happened, he explained that he ended up crashing as he wasn't sure if he REALLY just saw a naked women, or if he was still drunk from the night before.

And that is how he lost his drivers license, because oddly enough, there was a naked woman, AND he was still drunk!

ReallySmallFeet

Nice

In high school, grades were posted online. Dad wanted to check how poorly I was doing. I told him the internet is closed because it was after 5pm.

31moreyears

Getting It From Both Parents

My dad doesn't believe in carbon monoxide poisoning. My mom can't use the decimal point on a calculator.

Edit: Dad thinks carbon monoxide is a scam to sell detectors and appliances. I rented a place from my parents that had an old heater and it leaked the first time I used it. My roommates and I woke up feeling horrible. By sheer luck, I realized what it was. The fire department had to threaten my dad to get him to fix the problem.

Mom likes to do the calculator thing her way, if you ask why. I think she gets confused when the last zero disappears. But math without it is actually worse (obviously) and some of my most vivid childhood memories are her screaming at people on the phone because her numbers didn't match her balance. It was a monthly thing.

Edit 2: Today, my mom asked me how much a gram weighs.

Jesus-slaves

Don't Mix Plasma With Accelerants! 

Years ago I was building a potato cannon, which my father was uninterested in thinking it was just stupid... until he saw me working on it in the garage. I have the cannon in the vice and had just put in an electronic barbecue igniter and wired it to some bolts inside to get a good spark. Suddenly he's very interested. I had just managed to get a perfect gap with a strong arc and he says "wait, let go of the button for a second" and sprays Quik Start (basically aerosol ether) and goes "okay, hit it now!"

Nothing happened. Both ends of the cannon are open so it's just a tube and the quick start he sprayed just dissipated too quick. "Okay, hold the button for a sec", i'm not even thinking about what he's about to do at this moment, and he aims the spray right at the live arc and created a fireball that came straight for his face, singing his one eyebrow and corner of his moustache.

I can't imagine what he thought was going to happen.

FartKilometre

Doesn't Google Own The Whole Internet?

My mom wanted to drive to the new Google office building to complain about her Yahoo email account. I barely managed to convince her that they are different companies.

Edit: thanks for the upvotes, comments & Silver. My mom is very smart but lacks common sense. I spend most of my time trying to convince her not to do stupid things. Perhaps I should just let her do it (and film it).

PB-Nutella

Sometimes There's No Helping Them

My mom got a large inheritance, used it to remodel her house she hadn't paid off then took a line of credit out on it months after the housing crash.

This is the single stupidest thing I have ever seen someone do with so much planning involved. It took months for this dumb plan to happen and I tried to dissuade her every step of the way. It's one thing to put a fork in an electrical socket, at a totally different thing to hire a carpenter to build a house, hire and electrician to wire it, go to target to buy a fork, then put it in the socket.

Twokindsofpeople

How Did She Not Notice The Styrofoam As Soon As It Hit Her Teeth?!

My mother is the living embodiment of the phrase "I reject your reality and substitute it with own".

She once proclaimed that she didn't have to file taxes because she was a widow. When we pointed out that she could get audited she then doubled-down and said that the IRS only audits businesses, not people.

I once hurt my hand and asked for some money to go to urgent care and she told to "just go to the emergency room, it's free".

She thinks passive-aggressive is a term I made up.

She also once ate almost an entire block of a candy over a period of a week that had a thin layer of styrofoam on it before realizing the styrofoam wasn't part of the candy.

Exoticwombat

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Here are a some people admitting strong opinions they no longer have, and what it took to change those views. Redditor u/segafarm asks:

What is the strongest opinion you once held but no longer hold, and what make you change your mind?

Jade-Colored Glasses

I used to think that being cynical/negative was realistic and somehow smarter than being positive. I've since realized that a "be prepared for the worst but expect the best" is far better. We can't control the outcome of anything in life. Being negative makes you miserable rather than protected from bad things happening.

nanaimo

Cant' Have A Conversation With A Parrot

I used to be a conspiracy theorist. Believed that 9/11 was committed by the US government and that we never landed on the moon.

Once I started looking outside of the echo chamber I was in and started looking at alternate explanations, theories and listening to different viewpoints I soon realized how ridiculous those notions were.

Not-A-Real-Subreddit

A Big, Mysterious Universe

I used to be a strict, hardline atheist. I was the kind of bastard that would bring the subject up for no reason, just to argue. I don't know what the hell my problem was. Now I feel like, the universe is big, I don't know what all might be out there, I don't really care. I live as if there is no afterlife, because that makes sense to me. But if you don't, and you believe in one, that's perfectly fine, and maybe you're right. Who knows?

CDC_

Portrait Of An Artist As A Young Man

I used to believe anyone can be a successful artist if they just put the time and effort into it. There is no such thing as talent, only hard work.

What changed my mind: Art school. There were quite a few people that tried hard, but just weren't able to achieve professional level art.

berfica

You're Not Your Emotions

For the longest time, I thought my emotions were in a sense the most "real" part of me. I was always a very emotional person and I didn't make a real effort to control it as I thought it was a good thing, that I was just being honest with myself. Over time though, I started to become very depressed and the negative emotions just keep adding on and on. I thought "this is just how I am I guess". Unfortunately it started hurting other relationships I had, and everything changed when my girlfriend broke up with me. After a lot of reading I found that emotions are not who we are at all. They're just reactions and there's nothing that requires us to act on them or feed them. I'm learning to let it go through me instead of hanging on like I used to.

inca829

Don't Forget Big Willie Style

I used to think that hip hop was bland, repetitive, and all about clubbing and sh*t. Then one of my friends pointed me towards people like Kendrick Lamar, Eminem, Nas and Run The Jewels, who all have great songs and clever lyrics, and I realized that Hip Hop is pretty great.

6quid

The A**holes Will Always Find A Way

I used to think that the catholic church was responsible for all of the hateful people in it. I gave people the chance to challenge my opinion and someone explained it very nicely to me. Basically, the hateful people use the church as an excuse, if you remove the church they will gladly find another excuse.

TianaLeFong

High Times

Giphy

I used to tell myself that I would never stop smoking weed, and that I'd be happy if my kids grew up to be pot smokers... Now I have a kid, don't smoke, and realize what an idiot I was when all I did was smoke all day. I could probably be in a much better position if I hadn't smoked all through college.

But I mean, I still think pot's okay... Just in moderation.

edgar__allan__bro

The Road Less Traveled

"All taxation is theft, man! I made my money without any help from public institutions or the infrastructure they support, I should be able to keep every last dime of it!"

Naturally that was when I was 18, living at home rent free, and working at Pizza Hut as a delivery driver who relied upon public roads for pretty much every cent I made.

ExtremelyLongButtock

All Those PSA's Didn't Do Much

The whole D.A.R.E anti-drugs. Yes crack and heroin is bad, but they over dramatized what happens when you do smaller drugs. Weed isn't even a gateway drug, alcohol is more of a gateway drug. When I saw weed for the first time I thought it was tobacco (This was after all the D.A.R.E training too). Letting the government teach you your morales and philosophy is a thing that sheep do. Don't be a sheep.

PlantTreesForToday

Where Would We Be Without The Kindness Of Strangers

I used to think people on welfare and state assistance just weren't trying hard enough. I grew up spoiled and entitled and it seemed like any kind of charity was a stigma.

Then, my husband became chronically ill, and the economy took a shit. My family has been close to homelessness more than once, and have relied on state insurance and assistance off and on throughout the past few years. There are definitely people out there who abuse the system, but some just get stuck in a horrible cycle of poverty.

I also work in a school that has a high number low income and refugee families. It has really opened my eyes to the struggles that some people face.

BuffyandtheHellcats

He's Still There For You, The Best He Can Be

I could go through life and could seek meaningful advice from my Dad who has always been there for me.

Now he has been reduced to a feeble condition, I am starting to understand I'm out there on my own, and even what he's sure of is suspect given his mental and physical facilities have been rapidly deteriorating in his late seventies. I feel horrible that I have noticed this long before he did - or at least admitted as much.

june606

Clear Your Mind

This was before I received an ADHD diagnosis. When my doctor referred me to an ADHD specialist, first of all I refused to believe him and was kind of slighted that he even suggested that I could possibly have ADHD.

I had a very strong opinion that if I get a diagnosis that I would refuse to take prescribed amphetamines because they are "bad" and "addictive" and that they would ruin my life.

Then I actually tried the prescription and it was like magic.

Xingua92

Going Through The Whole Spectrum

Used to be fairly open with my views on immigration policy. Then I worked for a while down near Corpus Christie doing immigration work. I'd say one out if every hundred people that came through our office was going to somebody who actually wanted to work and try to make a living here. So many people simply wanted to exist enough to get welfare. Many were young men who we would later defend against exportation as a result of their criminal activity. I began to despise the work of defending these men and wished they would be deported.

Now, I'm dating a foreign girl and we are in the legal immigration process. She has advanced degrees and skills, so that makes things a little easier. But it does make me resent people who just bypass the system. We can't bypass the system because I imagine my participation in immigration fraud could get me disbarred.

RogerDeanVenture



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