LGBT People Answer Questions Straight people Were Always Afraid To Ask.
Have you ever had a question that you were too afraid to ask?
Here are twelve questions straight people were too afraid to ask LGBT people with some answers.
Many thanks to everyone who responded. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!
12. Masculine vs Feminine.
Lesbians... If you like women, why do you go for manly looking or dressing women?
Because they're not dressing that way to appear manly, that's just how they're the most comfortable. For instance, if a gay dude enjoys wearing pink (which is usually considered appropriate for females), he isn't necessarily trying to be feminine. Maybe he just looks good in pink. "Butch" lesbians aren't emulating men or masculinity, they just don't feel comfortable in the box of stereotypical femininity.
11. How does anyone find anyone?
Gay guys, how do you find your gay partners? I find it extremely hard to pick up a girl throughout an ocean of women, but how do you manage to do it?!
Hey, it's not easy for us either. I've got my own ocean at college, yet I'm still unfortunately single. Some people are more comfortable picking up girls/guys than others, regardless of sexuality. Just gotta get out of your comfort zone. I should take my own advice.
10. A little extra skin.
My girlfriend lives with a gay couple.
Whenever something happens that lets the dudes see an above-average amount of my skin, I always wonder if I make them feel uncomfortable. Like, in a straight-guys-only scenario, I could walk to the bathroom in just my boxers, but when I'm at their place I always wonder whether it is inappropriate. Because I know how I would feel if my roommates girlfriend would walk through our flat with nothing but her panties on while my girlfriend is with me: I would really like to look, because I really like boobs, but I shouldn't because she's my roommates partner and my girlfriend could get jealous, and then I'd end up feeling rather uncomfortable.
These kind of situations do make me a little uncomfortable, but only because I'm worried that the straight guy is uncomfortable, thinking I'm trying to steal a peek, etc.
It's different for everybody I suppose, but generally I'd say most gay guys wouldn't bat an eyelid. They might giggle a little to themselves if the view is nice. But that's about it.
9. "It's more of an admiration."
Bisexual person here. How can someone be attracted to only one gender? Every category of person can be amazingly beautiful and attractive! Is it a conscious "nope, that's a dude, not attracted" or does the part of your mind that says "attractive!" just not activate when looking at the gender you don't like?
I'm a straight guy, sometimes I'll see just a perfect male specimen walking down the street and say to myself, "Damn. That dude is attractive." But it's not a sexual attraction, it's more of an admiration.
Lesbian here! I find lots of men attractive but not sexually or emotionally. It's kind of like viewing a piece of art, you can see how lovely it is though you wouldn't put it in your home. If that makes sense. Guys don't turn me on at all but I do appreciate them as individuals. I often want them in my life but just not as lovers.
8. It's not the wand, it's the wizard.
I've always wanted to know whether the size of a mans penis came into play outside the bedroom in a gay relationship.
I personally imagine a longterm relationship spat between two gay men going like this:
"Damn it Gary, this is the third time I've asked you to take the garbage out!"
"In a second babe, I just need to finish this level."
"Gary, I just want to live like two adults, and I can't do that if one of us won't take out the trash once in a while."
"I'm just trying to relax after work! Is that so hard to ask for?"
"I'm sick of cleaning up the kitchen while you sit on the couch and play video games like a lazy slob!"
Gary grabs trash
"Yeah? Well at least I got the big dick"
Gary is a jerk. I'd never make my boyfriend self-conscious about his body, and doing so would basically kill our sex life. Imagine if you lashed out at your gf by complaining her breasts weren't equally sized.
So no. Just, no.
That's the guy you should leave. Now. Unless a big dick is really that big a deal to you, then if so, just deal with it. But a friend has that situation and his size is often a problem (you wanna put THAT where??) so it can be a blessing or a curse. Like for a guy who just HAS to have a large one, so a normal one won't do. Then he's kinda locked in to a possible douche bag who gets by because of a large member. Sad.
7. It's not a matter of helping or hurting.
As a straight male: Gay guys, do you think all the flamboyant gays help or hurt the view of your community? Lesbians, sex?
I see flamboyant gays as just one piece of a larger spectrum. It's equivalent to asking the average straight male if "The Situation" from Jersey Shore helps or hurts their image. I don't think it does either, it's just another version of a person being alive.
They don't hurt or help the community. They belong to the community.
Realtalk: I often hear that gay men find the vagina "icky", but is it really so, compared to an anus? I'm not knocking it or anything, I'm just saying, humans have a lot of weird orifices that, once you think about it, really aren't all that dissimilar. Is the anus appealing in and of itself, or is it just a means to an end?
For me, vaginas are like a work of fine art. I can understand why someone would find them pleasing, but they ain't my cup of lgbtea.
In regards to the anus, meh. I like dicks, though.
Personally, means to an end. It's neither icky nor a delicate beautiful flower of majesty, it just is.
Like the vagina (and most other person-holes), it has equal power to be a nice experience, or an OH GOD WHY Eldritch Horrors of the Deep experience if its owner doesn't take proper care of it.
5. When did you know?
At what point of your life did you realise you were gay? Did you always have feelings towards members of the same sex, did it start during puberty?
A little after puberty for me, but I was a late bloomer.
Had started fantasizing about women (due to being raised in an environment where gay people simply didn't exist), but those fantasies were never - or rarely - sexual in nature. Just living with a girl, mostly.
Also, there were some boys in my class I really, REALLY looked up to and admired, and never really paid the girls any mind.
Things really started to come into focus when I came across my first (straight) skin mag. At first, young me would masturbate to just about any picture of a naked person, but as time went on, I noticed I got the better response from the pictures that showed women and men together, and eventually I noticed I was focusing purely on the men in the picture and ignoring the women altogether.
From there, it was a hop, skip, and a web search away to realize guys who liked guys were called "gay" and that was what I was.
During puberty, I started having sexual dreams about girls. It was a huge eye opener to me, because I really had no idea before that... but looking back, I really should have.
My favorite so painfully obvious gay memory involved my best friend in junior high. I had such a crush on her, yet somehow had no idea. I remember one time, she told me I should hang up pictures of hot guys on my walls. So, since I did everything she said, I went and bought some of those crappy Teen mags. I just remember being so frustrated because I couldn't figure out which boys were hot and which weren't, and then thinking, "Hm, which boys would Katie think were hot?"
So dumb. But in my defense, I was raised in a really religious town and really thought that you chose to be gay. This is why the whole thing came as quite a shock to me...
4. Would you do it?
Gay guys... Are you ever aroused by a woman? If a beautiful woman wanted to have sex with you would you do it?
I'd probably be up for it at least once. But I'm like a Kinsey 4.5. Many gay guys would say hell no.
3. Who knows...
Why do gay people "sound gay"? Like when a gay guy talks you can hear a gay accent. What's up with that?
I have no idea. Some guys play it up I'm sure, other than that I couldn't tell you. Though, there are plenty of gay guys that don't "sound gay" and plenty of straight guys that do so.... shrug
2. Comes with the territory.
Seriously, does feces getting in/on your dick happen often and how annoying is it?
It's definitely a mood killer, but if it happens I just go wash up real quick and then we could do something else. I don't make it a big deal because it's an occupational hazard and no one should feel bad that anal is just not going to happen tonight.
That said, it's all about knowing your body. If you're in the mood to get plowed like a fresh spring field, don't do it the day after taco night. Ask yourself, "Am I regular? What was my last BM like?"
I don't like to douche because it can really cause some damage and dry things out up in there. I prefer the finger check. It's like baking a cake: if the toothpick comes out clean, you're ready.
1. "Fantasies about the other gender are there..."
Question for bisexual people:
If you were to enter a monogamous relationship, would you miss having sex with the other gender to the point that it might lead to the end of your relationship?
Bisexual male here, who had serious relationships with both genders.
Fantasies about the other gender are there when I masturbate (and watch porn), but never to the point of wanting to cheat. In a relationship the gender really doesn't matter to me, because it's more about the emotional connection to the person.
As a bisexual male, when dating a girl, I don't miss having sex with the other gender. When dating a guy, I do miss having sex with a girl.
At the same time though the girls I date usually are bisexual or open enough to have threesomes. It's hard to find a guy bi or gay who will have a threesome with a girl.
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: