This will all make sense.... maybe.
We've all been caught in one of those 'Uh-oh' situations. Those times where we have to explain ourselves to those who bore witness and to often to our own minds. Who hasn't asked themselves... "how did I do that?"
Redditor u/jozwikmattribute wanted to see who was brave enough to share.... What's your worst "I know this looks bad, but I can explain" moment?
A wrench in the plan....Giphy
Years ago I was dating this girl, and I had just acquired a black powder gun. Now for those of you who don't know, one of the parts on many of the black powder guns is called a nipple, and usually require a wrench to get off. Mine didn't have this wrench so I punched in "Ruger nipple wrench" into Google and went downstairs to grab a drink.
When I come back into her room, she's looking at my laptop, wide eyed and nervously says "Ummm, I don't know if I would be into that..."
Cue my reaction of "What? No! Wait it's a gun tool thing I swear!" Kai-028
Why is underwear difficult?
Mine's a little different.
I was at a corporate function, and noticed that the president of the company was trying to clean his glasses with a paper napkin. Being the well-prepared person I am, I always keep a microfiber cloth in my pocket - I wear glasses, too, and I prefer to actually clean the glasses, not just smudge the oils around. I digress.
So I reach into my pocket, grab a cloth, and hand it to him. And he responds with a confused "Huh." Now, at this time I also have a son who is going through potty training, so I tended to keep spare clothes; usually in my backpack, but also in the pockets of my overcoat.
I look over, and the president of my company is kind of staring at the (unused, thank God) pair of Jake and the Neverland Pirates underwear, boys size small, I just handed him. And of course, my immediate response wasn't to laugh, wasn't to say "oh, those are my kid's backup pair" ... no, my response was to immediately say "those aren't mine!" Which was 1) obvious, and 2) not guilty sounding at all. chiaspod
When my daughter was around 3 years old, she casually told my wife that "Daddy likes to come into my room naked and play with me." It took a minute to realize what she was talking about. A few weeks prior to that, she had woken up screaming. Bad dream, I'm guessing. I jump out of bed wearing nothing but boxer briefs to see what the problem was. To get her to stop crying, I tried to make her laugh. Luckily, my wife believed me. CaptainAwesome06
Here's the receipt....
I work at a school portrait company. I retouch thousands of images and sometimes I need to retouch inappropriate things. Well this high school girl was wearing a see through shirt and I had to retouch out her nipples. I was in the office by myself as a 20 something year old man when a girl walks in and sees me zoomed in on this high school girls see through shirt... I CAN EXPLAIN! I told her I'm not a creep, I'm just retouching her shirt so you can't see her nipples... It was very awkward but since she worked as a photographer she completely understood once I explained. Recabilly
Damn you 7-11....Giphy
As a broke college kid, one of my go-to meals was a $0.69 chili dog from 7/11, which was 4 blocks from my dorm. I had no car. One winter's night, I bundled up in my heavy coat, gloves. and beanie and went to get myself one.
So I'm heading back, holding my foil-wrapped dinner, and decide to run (to get out of the cold faster.) Next thing I know, a cop car screeches to a halt in front of me, and I'm ordered to the ground. Spent the next couple minutes explaining to NJ PD why I'm running out of a convenience store, at night, in a "ski mask," waving a shiny metal object. dlordjr
My friend Anna was in her 20's but she looked really young, easily as though she could be a minor. She had too much to drink at the bar so I started carrying her home on my shoulders as she was having a really hard time walking. As we got to her house I went to let her down and she fell off and smacked her head on the fence. She was wearing a skirt and as she fell it went up to her waist. I'm trying to get her to come-to so she can go in her house when an old lady walks out on her porch and starts screaming, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT LITTLE GIRL."
I try to calmly explain that this is her house and I'm just a friend trying to get her home but she just keeps shouting, "WHERE ARE HER CLOTHES, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER." She won't come to and I realize just how bad the situation looks, so I tell the old lady we can call an ambulance. As I tell my friend we are about to call an ambulance, she immediately comes to and fixes her skirt and stands up. The old lady says, "oh you were right, I guess she had clothes the whole time." pghpride
My car is a dressing room....
This happened in high school, shortly after I started dating my first "boyfriend." At the time, I would often wear a camisole with a built-in bra layered under a V-neck tee. One day, I was wearing this outfit but wanted to go shopping after school for other shirts, so I brought a regular bra with me to try stuff on.
After I got out of the store, I for some reason didn't want to put the bra in my bag so I put it in the armrest compartment between the front seats of my dad's car, and of course immediately forgot it was there.
The next day, my parents were getting ready to go somewhere. They had left the house, but moments later my mom barged back in, demanding to know why I was "taking off my clothes in the car." I frantically tried to explain the clothes shopping story, but to this day I'm not sure she bought it. giveuschannel83
Open your eyes....
Sister came home to her boyfriend and our brother laying his head in his lap (her bf was holding his head in his lap and stroking his head and back) she was confused and as soon as she opened her mouth her bf turned around "oh hey, be quiet, he just fell asleep." Apparently my brother got food poisoning and was throwing up constantly, her bf showed up to return some things she left at his house. So being him, he helped our brother get some medicine from the store, change, and stroked his head on the couch till he fell asleep (it took a while since he was always getting up to throw up). We all laugh about it now :)) leminadefoxx
DO NOT try this at home!
Oh man. Back in my early 20s, Around mid-2000s when Jacka** was all the craze i went to a house party. A girl there took a big liking to me and kept coming onto me pretty strong. I was in a relationship and kept turning her down. I went into the parents' bedroom to take a call when she came into the room and tried to kiss me. I said no and she started to undress, I told my friend on the other end of the phone what was going on and he just said 'well, jump out the window.'
20 year old, drunk me thought this was a great idea, Just like CKY/ Jacka**! So I opened the window and jumped out onto the grass below, Rolled and walked away unhurt, The next thing I know there is a dull thud and semi-Naked crazy chick was laying on the ground, She had jumped out after me, hit the earth below, slipped and fallen backwards hitting her head on the ground.
People inside the party heard the noise and came running out the door of the house to find me standing over a semi-conscious, half naked girl…. Fielder57
I was really tall in Jr High. One of my best friends at the time was pretty short, and we had a running joke where he would use a little kid voice whenever standing next to me, because I was so much taller.
So one day we're playing tag around my church building (grew up in a conservative house) after most people had already left, and my buddy runs into the bathroom and locks himself in a stall. But I was taller than the wall of the stall, so I pressed up against it and looked down at him and said in my best creepy voice "You can't hide from me!" and he used his little-kid voice to say "Oh no! Somebody please help!"
Of course, one of the old church ladies was standing in the doorway behind us, watching the whole thing with horror. Turns out she was there to clean, and caught us at exactly the wrong time. Luckboy28
Not my Pencil!
4th grade. All of the kids in my class had figured out that they could get up to sharpen their pencils whenever they wanted - a way to break- up the monotony I suppose. Several students abused this privilege and I didn't want to be counted among the abusers, as Mrs. Spangler had become vocal about this.
During an assignment, my pencil was dull to the point that the wood was scratching on my paper. I decided to use my thumbnail to break the wood away from the tip and expose the graphite so that I didn't have to sharpen it. As I was doing this, my teacher walked by and exclaimed, "You're trying to break your pencil!" I didn't have time to establish a defense before she admonished me in front of the class.
I still think about it sometimes... I'm 37. FlipSchitz
The Human Form....
I was practicing anatomy for drawing of course. So... I had to look up naked models and stuff. No big deal. Just to get the human form down. Nothing too weird. I get done sketching for the day and went to bed. Over the weekend I was animating and my dad walked in my room to ask me something. Well... he goes "what the hell?" And picks up a drawing. I was like "what?" And he sees these drawings... I legit said the line "wait... I can explain" and he walked away laughing. AVeryRandomMaid
Oh not YOU!
About 5 1/2 years ago, I dated a guy for like 2 months. While I was dating him, I was in the process of house-hunting. I'd mentioned that the neighborhood he was living in, particularly, was one I had been hoping to buy in. Our relationship fizzled, and we mutually split. Fast-forward a couple months, and a house was on the market across the street and a couple down from his. I hated the awkward fact it was so close to his, but I loved the house itself, and like I'd said, I really wanted to buy in that neighborhood and had been having crap luck.
So I did what is normally recommended to anyone to do when looking at new homes... I visited in the evening to check out noise/activity levels. At no point did I contact the guy because we hadn't dated that long and I didn't even know if I'd ultimately end up living there. So I was parked at the house I liked when my ex suddenly walked out of his house taking his roommate's dog for a walk. I freaked... realized how bad it might look, like maybe I was stalking him or something, and I wasn't sure if he'd seen me or my car, so I froze as I wondered whether to just do nothing and hope he didn't see, or try to explain myself.
I opted for the latter. I rolled down my window and awkwardly was like, "heyyyyy......." and explained to him that I was thinking of buying that house. He seemed cool about it, but who knows what was really going through his mind. I did ultimately buy the house and still live there, and he still lives across the street. Fun times! TxRaindrop
Allow me to rephrase...Giphy
In the beginning months of a relationship, I was staying over at my girlfriend's apartment. We were in bed, and the only light in the room came from a bright lamp on the end table, on her side of the bed. Now, in addition to being a bit sensitive to bright light, I have a lazy eye that makes it hard to focus on things that are really close. Things like my girlfriend, at that particular moment.
So naturally, I asked, "Could you turn off the light? You're really hard to look at." I don't know which of us had the bigger look of horror on our faces. enmeduranki
Nothing to see here!
I was 18 or 19 and was really close friends with a girl who had a little sister and her birthday was coming up. I can't remember how old the sister was but she was still in the Chuck-E-Cheese era and that's where she wanted to go. Parents said no, but we said yes and were happy to take her. I didn't consider the image until we arrived.
My friend had fallen off her long board a few days prior and had a pretty nasty black eye. The little sister was in gymnastics and had injured her arm recently then as well and was in an arm sling. So in walks in a very young looking couple with a child, and both women were sporting fresh injuries while I was unscathed.
The look from the hostess or whatever position she was said it all. I even FELT like a monster despite not being responsible for any of it from all the glances I got from the staff. I'm shocked the cops weren't called. fidksomethingwitty
Arrest the dog!
A female friend of mine who is a Police Officer was on a welfare check and was bit by the property owners dog. She was about a mile from my house when bit and because I am an EMT she decided to call me to see if I could inspect where she was bitten and advise if she needed to go to the hospital. She show up at my house and limps into the kitchen telling me the dog bit her just below her left butt cheek on the rear of her upper thigh. I was worried that the bite had broke the skin and she would need to get it bandaged and possibly get a rabies shot. I told her that I would have to take a look at the bite to help her so, she takes off her duty belt and pulls her pants down to around her knees to expose the bite area.
It didn't look too bad but there were two spots where the dogs teeth had broke the skin. I told her I would bandage it up so she could make the 20 minute drive to the clinic. I was just about to bandage her leg when my wife walks through the door. There I am with one of our female friends, standing in our kitchen, in her police officer uniform, pants down (she was wearing a thong), I was sitting so basically her ass was in my face, and my hands on her upper thigh/butt. We both had the deer in the headlight stare as we realized how bad this must have looked to my wife. We then both shouted out in unison "It was a dog bite!" higbee77
I was volunteering at a pool for my instructor's certification. The girl I was with was really thirsty and asked if I would mind getting her a Powerade from the vending machine since she couldn't leave her class. She told me where her wallet was so I could get her change. Another staff member walked in while I was taking the money from her wallet. I was the most straight laced, nervous kid on Earth, lol. I explained. She either believed me or checked with the lifeguard later, but either way, the first girl got her Powerade and the pool hired me later, so the second girl knows I'm not a thief. 😂 siel04
One of my friends was in a cycling accident commuting home from class one night and wound up in the ER. She needed someone to make sure her dog, Fox, is taken care of and tells me she left her bedroom window unlocked so I should be able to get in the house. Now Fox is semi familiar with me but I still don't like the idea of crawling in a window and facing a pretty big dog unannounced. So I've got the window in the alley cracked and I'm trying to call Fox and let her know that I'm there and coming in. I'm saying stuff like "Hey Foxy girl, Foxy Lady etc etc" meanwhile the upstairs neighbor hears all of this while she is sitting on the toilet and thinks someone is doing some perv peeping tom stuff looking into windows. Luckily it was all cleared up pretty quickly as we were all college kids that saw each other in and out fairly often, but it almost took a bad turn. nova2726
Mmhmmm, a likely "story."
I was dating my sister's best friend at the time and my sister was dating my best friend at the time (they're actually still together to this day). My friend and I thought it would be funny to convince my then girlfriend that I was gay by having her walk in on me and him having a steamy gay affair. We took our shirts off, got under the covers and propped our phones up on our crotches to make it look like both of us were erect. My then girlfriend was in my sister's room with her so I made a loud noise to get her attention.
Well, my ex wasn't the first one to walk into the room. It was my mom. Followed by my dad who was then soon followed by my ex and my sister. Mom was confused. Sister and ex were laughing and my dad simply said "I always knew you two were gay." It wasn't as awkward as you'd expect and we explained the situation so everyone had a laugh about it but I'm pretty sure my mom suffered some mild trauma for a second when initially walking in. Merry_Dankmas
Stay off drugs kids....
I got super high and drunk one night with my best friend and his gf. They stayed at my house. My friend is a loud snorer so his gf ended up sleeping on my couch. My best friend in my guest room upstairs.
At 4 am I woke up still pretty drunk and high. For some reason I felt the need to check social media but couldn't find my phone. Drunk and high Me decided to go downstairs to find my phone.
Without realizing his gf was on the couch, I reach down by a pillow to check for my phone. She wakes up, and I'm left there having to explain at 4am why I'm grabbing her face. I don't think she believes my story to this day and I look like a rapist. My phone was in my pocket the whole time. PapiRecordsYou
We are told that, if you're not confident, you should just "fake it til you make it."
This is great--in theory. In practice, sometimes "faking it" can have extremely real and terrible consequences, which these people found out the hardest of hard ways.