Man Asks Grandma Not To Take Jabs At His Mom On Social Media, Gets Blocked And Shunned

Typically, when we think of the relationship between a grandma and her grandson it's a doting and affectionate sort of thing. We think of it as some unbreakable and love-filled bond. Sometimes, though... it's just not. One young man's grandmother has pretty much shunned him when he stood up for his mom and asked Grandma to stop picking on her. Grandma didn't like that much and decided she'd rather block him on social media and pretend he doesn't exist, instead.

Here's his original post:

My (23m) grandma (68f) is mad that I asked her to not disrespect my mother on social media.

"I went home for Christmas to see my family, and spend time with them. My parents are divorced and have been for probably 6 years now. My father is remarried. My grandma (My dad's mom) shared something on Facebook and tagged my dad. This quote said "Sometimes true love comes after mistakes you've made." My grandma and my aunt from my dads side have constantly shared little "stabs" over the years towards my mom and I had enough of it this year. The divorce is long over, and those two are the only ones still holding onto it.

She had texted me the morning after our family Christmas party and asked me why my brother didn't go (he didn't because he said he felt uncomfortable with all of the judgement from the couple of people I've mentioned earlier). I was being honest and politely told her that my brother and I feel uncomfortable due to these posts, and they effect us too. I told her my parents relationship wasn't a mistake, and that it was life lessons and experiences. (It wasn't, they were together almost 20 years, and had a very happy relationship up until the last couple of years.) My grandma is also divorced and remarried too, so I mentioned that her marriage wasn't a mistake, and was just life lessons and experiences as well. I politely said if she dislikes my mom, to keep it to herself, because we still have a lot of intermingled family friends, and cousins that still communicate with both sides, so the word gets around. (Again, it's only my aunt and grandma that are still sharing this stuff) she then turns around and blocks me on all social media, says that she's so hurt that I'd say something like that and that she wants a few days to "process" what I said and she'll let me know how she feels. She's a professional victim player.

I let me dad know so he didn't think I was harassing her, and he believes me, and even said that she gets upset over the stupidest things.

I just have no clue where I should go from here. Do I just let it be? Do I talk to her? I'm so annoyed, frustrated, etc..."

- Reddit

People are stunned at how petty this has gotten, and they're not shy about saying so. Check out some of the most popular responses:

She Did It For You

I think she made the decision for you by blocking you. I do not think that you are in the wrong; she is doing what she does to turn you and everyone else against your mom. She is more concerned with her belittling than she is with your feelings.

- MelodramaticMouse

Drop The Rope

Block her and move on. If she's toxic and hurtful towards your mother and is a professional victim player, it sounds like she does dramatic shit all the time. She can live with the consequences of being hateful and shit.

I disagree with everyone who says you should have just ignored it. It was an obvious insult and it sounds like she has a history of making these against your MOTHER. If you decide you don't want to have a relationship with someone who is hateful to 1 of your 2 parents (whom you have a good loving relationship with) then that is YOUR choice and you cannot be shamed or judged for that choice.

Don't give into her drama. Just drop the rope. Don't apologize or forgive or justify.

- Squishybunz



Your grandmother is waiting for you to succumb to her manipulation and ask her for forgiveness. However, that would just reinforce her behavior. You were right to stand up for your mom. I think you should just let your grandmother pout and not reinforce her bad behavior.

- HumanSaguaro

Maturity Is Not An Age Thing

You did the right thing, and sound waaaaay more mature and wise than a passive aggressive 68 year-old woman who posts memes on Facebook for the purpose of riling people up. Block, ignore, delete, this toxic woman from your social media and your life.

Also, good for you, for standing up for your mom. Trust me, you will not miss grandma's drama.

- intestinal_turmoil

How To Spin It

You're changed roles on her, as you are now acting as the mature healthy adult, while she is the gossipy child. You bet she's banished you and is planning on how to respond, she doesn't quite know how to spin "my granddaughter is demanding I stop being mean and petty."

Keep being the emotionally mature adult here. Sometimes, just the knowledge that you are taking the high road is the best.

- Trichostema

Reasoning With The Unreasonable

You can't reason with someone who's unreasonable. She's never going to admit she's wrong. You embarrassed her by being the mature one and calling her out (rightly) on her bullshit. You were polite about it, and you weren't wrong. She's just too immature and unreasonable to ever admit that.

I personally wouldn't talk to her until she apologizes for her unwarranted reaction and agrees to keep her digs about your mother to herself. If you do, she'll make a big show of "forgiving" you and play the victim and frankly I wouldn't be willing to put up with that shit. Don't let her drag you into her "poor me" drama. Or your aunt because it sounds like the apple didn't fall far from the tree. When they can act like grownups, then they can talk to you/see you. Until then, I would refuse to engage. Because it's just going to be them trying to drag you into the drama and playing the victim. If they try to sell their sob story to the rest of the family, don't acknowledge it or justify. Don't play their game. It's childish and I'm sure you've got way better things to do with your time and energy.

You should be proud of yourself for being mature and respectful but still unwilling to put up with the bullsh*t. You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders.

She did you a favor by blocking you. I'd return it by blocking her back. When she unblocks you (and you KNOW she will, that's how she will keep the drama going), you're going to have to see her whining about how she's a sad little grandma with such a mean grandchild. For me that would be a hard pass.

- doolinda

Like Training A Dog

I think you should defend your mother and set boundaries with your grandmother.

life is too short and precious to cut people out of your life though. I would give her space for a while since she is acting immature and angry. Make this a clear and unquestionable boundary. Be consistent in your responses when it comes to this. I would still call or briefly stop by to wish her happy new year, birthday, etc. and the moment she disrespects your mom then leave or cut your call short.

She'll stop bringing up your mom if she wants to see you more or speak with you more.

- Delicious_Plum



Let her go!
Let her go!
Don't hold it back any more.

Let her go!
Let her go!
Turn away and slam the door!

- PapaDuckD

All You Need To Know

Your grandmother cares more about being able to continually mock the mother of her grandchildren then the feelings of her grandchildren. Says pretty much all you need to know about this situation.

- malinhuahua

So Many Mistakes

Wow! So does that mean you and your siblings are a result birthed of that mistake?! Was your father a "mistake" from her previous marriage too? You handled that so well, very reasonable and an adult thing to do and she should be ashamed of herself. Good on your brother for making boundaries to protect any distress he gets from them insulting your own flesh and blood! If she does decide to get in touch down the track, ask her what does she get out of belittling your mother? What emotions does it bring up for her when she feels she needs to bring your mother down?

- storm_in_a_tea_cup

Save Your Receipts

Save a screenshot of the text conversation between you and your grandmother. If any family members contacts you regarding you treatment towards her, reply with the screenshot. Sadly it sounds like grandma either found a hill to die on or she'll have to eat crow for the new year.

- FredditZoned

Thank You

She's a narcissist throwing a temper tantrum because she got checked for her horrible behavior. Stand firm and let her stop kicking and screaming on the floor, and when she's ready to act like an adult and talk to you then you can respond.

On behalf of all victims of narcs everywhere: thank you for standing up for your mom.

- catsmurphy

A Full-Blown Dramatic Apology

You were the adult one in this. Sad to lose someone relatives over stuff like this, but they could've been mature about this and kept it to themselves, or at least taken you letting them know, better. I would let it be. My experience is that when people react in this way, they'll only accept a full-blown dramatic apology, and that doesn't seem appropriate in this situation.

- M_Nerd

The Mirror 

Leave it alone. No offence but she's disrespectful as fuck and not at all worth chasing after to "apologize". She hurt you and your mum and all you did was show her a mirror.

Let her process it in peace. She'll come running back or she won't and that doesn't sound like a loss.

- annshine

Let It Be

Where do you go from here? Just let it be. You expressed your feelings in a mature manner and its up to her to deal with that in her own way. She has already 'processed' it by blocking you on social media - an action which no doubt she has done to provoke an emotional response out of you. By blocking you she has made the situation far worse for herself and she probably thinks it will force you into giving her an unnecessary apology. Ignore it and move on. Don't rise to her attempt at emotional manipulation. As you say, she's playing the victim here.

Besides, she's 'hurt' that you would call her out? I'd be hurt by her calling your parents relationship a mistake as, by association, that makes you and your brother 'mistakes' too. You did right by your family and you asserted your feelings on the issue. You should be proud of yourself.

- FizzyLogic

Double Down Like KFC


Double down because you are right. Block her and say the same thing she said to you to anybody who asks why. Verbatim. It's the only way to beat a narcissist. They want the attention to be about them - so give them absolutely none. She may cut you off, but that's better than apologizing, or giving in as your dad has done. If you cut her off she will never admit it, but it will sting her for the rest of her life someone stood up to her.

- JahGot2BeKiddingMe

Step Mom To The Rescue

I dealt with this for much of my life because my parents got a divorce when I was only 3.

It was my step mom of all people who had to put my dad's family in their place. I was overhearing (once again) shit talking about my mother in the other room and I remember hearing my step mom call them out. It made me so happy.

I know that story didn't give you any advice but basically, I just want you to know that I understand how hurtful words about your mother can be. You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing. I'm sure your grandma will come around soon enough ❤️ maybe your dad should have a conversation with her.

I don't believe you should throw away your grandma for life, though! I feel that scenarios like this are common in divorced families but it does not mean it cannot be moved past. My grandma, for example, has not bad mouthed my mom (to my knowledge) in years. I would certainly give her another chance after she hopefully apologizes.

- shanabear


No offense, but your grandma is a selfish bit*h. You told her she's been hurting your feelings and disrespecting your mom and she's the one who gets to be hurt? How? That absolutely proves she's a selfish b. F*ck her, you don't need her. You didn't do anything wrong. You did everything very well that even your dad thinks you did fine. Nothing is on you, she's losing two grandkids because she's a dumb drama queen.

- BlockDontReport

The Polite Approach

You politely wait until she unblocks you, then you block her.

- Kittens4Brunch

Her And Her Toxic Attitude

I understand that you don't want your grandma to be upset with you, and that you were hoping she could have just had an adult conversation about it and then move forward. I'm sorry that it didn't work out that way. However, you did the right thing, and you chose to be honest with her about the feelings you and your brother have been experiencing. That takes some courage, because it can definitely be easier to keep your head down and not rock the boat. It sounds like this has been building up for awhile now. She's ruining her relationship with her grandchildren, and you tried to explain this to her. If she refuses to see how hurtful and damaging her behavior is to you and your brother , then it's only her fault when you guys ultimately decide you want to distance yourselves from her and her toxic attitude.

- SeattleCouple626

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The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood's searing novel, was written at the height of the Reagan administration and satirized political, social, and religious trends of the 1980s. It's also a hit television series on Hulu that returns on June 5.

While we still have a long way to go before we can find out what's next for June/Offred in the Republic of Gilead, we can, at the very least, regale you with some cool facts about one of the most enduring stories of the last three decades.

The Trailer for Season 3 Plays Off a Slogan from the Reagan Era

Perhaps the best thing that came out of the Super Bowl––aside from the memes haggling Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine, that is––was the trailer for the third season of the Hulu series.

The trailer lampoons former President Ronald Regan's 1984 "Morning in America" political campaign television commercial.

"It's morning again in America," you hear over a soundtrack and images that resound with boundless optimism. Things turn dark from there. Soon the camera freezes on Elisabeth Moss's face: "Wake up, America," she says.

Margaret Atwood's Follow-Up Will Be Released Later This Year

Margaret Atwood will release a sequel to The Handmaid's Tale titled The Testaments in September 2019. The Testaments is unconnected to Hulu's adaptation and will feature the testimonials of three female narrators from Gilead.

This literary device keeps with the metafictional epilogue that follows Offred's story in the original novel. The novel ends much in the way Season 1 ends: with Offred entering the van at Nick's insistence. The epilogue explains how the events of the novel were recorded onto cassette tapes after the beginning of what scholars have come to describe as "The Gilead Period." An interview with a noted academic implies that a more equitable society, one with full rights for women and freedom of religion restored, emerged following the collapse of the Republic of Gilead.

Serena Joy Waterford Is Likely Based On A Noted Conservative Activist

As the series goes on, we learn more about Serena Joy Waterford (Yvonne Strahovski) and her beginnings.

Serena was a conservative activist who, along with her husband Fred, spearheaded the Puritan movement that ultimately gave rise to Gilead. Inspired by women whom she perceives to have "abandoned" their families in the name of female autonomy, Serena Joy delivers impassioned speeches at venues around the nation calling for policies that would place women back in the home. She even wrote a bestselling book, A Woman's Place, that served as the vessel for much of her conservative dogma and inspired many of the Commander's Wives who become her friends and neighbors.

Serena was likely based on conservative activist Phyllis Schlafly, who established herself over many years as one of the fiercest antifeminist and anti-abortion advocates in the United States. Schlafly was also a vociferous opponent of the Equal Rights Amendment, which she considered an attack against traditional gender roles.

The 1990 Film Adaptation Had a Messy Production

A film version of The Handmaid's Tale was released in 1990. It starred Natasha Richardson as Offred, Faye Dunaway as Serena Joy, Robert Duvall as Commander Waterford, Aidan Quinn as Nick, Victoria Tennant as Aunt Lydia, and Elizabeth McGovern as Moira.

The film was not well received and had a messy production. Director Volker Schlöndorff replaced original director Karel Reisz amid internal bickering over a screenplay by Harold Pinter. Schlöndorff asked for rewrites, and Pinter, who was reluctant to do them, directed him to author Margaret Atwood, who was one of several who ended up making changes to Pinter's screenplay.

Pinter told his biographer years later [as quoted in Harold Printer, p. 304] that:

It became … a hotchpotch. The whole thing fell between several shoots. I worked with Karel Reisz on it for about a year. There are big public scenes in the story and Karel wanted to do them with thousands of people. The film company wouldn't sanction that so he withdrew. At which point Volker Schlondorff came into it as director. He wanted to work with me on the script, but I said I was absolutely exhausted. I more or less said, 'Do what you like. There's the script. Why not go back to the original author if you want to fiddle about?' He did go to the original author. And then the actors came into it. I left my name on the film because there was enough there to warrant it—just about. But it's not mine'.

Star Natasha Richardson reportedly felt "cast adrift" when much of Offred's interior monologue was sacrificed as a result of cuts made to the screenplay.

The Film and TV Series Aren't The Only Adaptations of This Seminal Work

There are several different adaptations of Atwood's seminal work, including, but not limited to:

  • an audiobook read by Homeland actress Claire Danes that won the 2013 Audie Award for Fiction
  • a concept album by Canadian band Lakes of Canada
  • a radio adaptation produced in 2000 for BBC Radio 4
  • an operatic adaptation that premiered in 2000 and was the opening production of the 2004–2005 season of the Canadian Opera Company.

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Between The West Wing, Mad Men, Top of the Lake, and The Handmaid's Tale, Elisabeth Moss has a reputation for starring in critically acclaimed television shows.

Much has been made, however, of her casting as Offred. Moss was born into the Scientologist belief system, which the German government has classified as an "anti-constitutional sect," the French government has classified as a cult, and the American government has allowed individuals to practice freely though not without considerable contention. Moss also identifies as a feminist.

Asked by a fan about the parallels between Gilead and Scientology (namely the belief that "outside forces" are inherently "evil") Moss responded:

"That's actually not true at all about Scientology. Religious freedom and tolerance and understanding the truth and equal rights for every race, religion and creed are extremely important to me. The most important things to me probably. And so Gilead and THT hit me on a very personal level."

An Episode During Season 2 Highlighted President Donald Trump's Border Crisis

Last summer, President Donald Trump and his administration created a crisis at the U.S.-Mexico border when he and Jeff Sessions, his former attorney general, announced their "zero tolerance" family separations policy. The president blamed Democrats for the policy, imploring them to "start thinking about the people devastated by Crime coming from illegal immigration."

As images and stories of children ripped away from their parents at the border began to circulate, the Season 2 episode "The Last Ceremony" showed just how timely the show really is: After Offred is raped by the Waterfords, Commander Waterford (Joseph Fiennes) allows June/Offred (Elisabeth Moss) to visit her daughter, Hannah, in an undisclosed location. June is given 10 minutes with her daughter before a guard forcibly separates them again.

The episode, written well before the crisis was initiated, premiered just as Homeland Security admitted that more than 2,300 children had been separated from their parents.

Another Episode During Season 2 Appeared to Predict Canada-U.S. Relations

The fallout between the United States and Canada during the G7 summit appeared to have reached its peak once President Donald Trump refused to sign a joint statement with America's allies and threatened to escalate a trade war between America's neighbors. He also referred to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau as "weak."

The Season 2 episode "Smart Power"––in which Canadian diplomats ban Gilead's representatives from the country and choose to stand with the women imprisoned in the totalitarian nation in a nod to the #MeToo movement––was written and premiered before the G7 blowup, but is no less prophetic.

In Season 2, Kate Bush's "This Woman's Work" Becomes an Ode to Female Resilience

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Pray God you can cope
I'll stand outside
This woman's work
This woman's world
Ooooh it's hard on a man
Now his part is over
Now starts the craft of the FatherI
know you've got a little life in you left
I know you've got a lot of strength left
I know you've got a little life in you yet
I know you've got a lot of strength left
I should be crying but I just can't let it show
I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking
All the things we should've said that I never said
All the things we should have done that we never did
All the things we should have given but I didn't
Oh darling make it go
Make it go away

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"The Handmaid's Tale" Was the First Streamed Series to Win the Best Drama Series Emmy

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