People Who've Been Married Over A Decade Reveal When The Knew They'd Found The One
You're the one that I wanted....
Anyone and everyone, it seems can just fall in love, but it's staying in love that really counts. Often we fall in lust or heavy like first and love, actual LOVE is something that comes along later, and that's ok. Learning who someone is can take decades or realizing you've known "them" all along. Then soon "that moment" happens when the reality is better than the fantasy.
Redditor u/Synyzy need some advice as to how we'll know when we find "the one" by asking.... People who have been married 10+ years, what convinced you your partner was "the one"?
It can take awhile!Giphy
Initially madly in love for a few years. Which helps a lot. 35 year now and still going strong. I can actually see that she is doing her best to accept my quirks. Much appreciates. I do the same with her and she can tell. raarts
Plain and simple....
Best bloke I ever met. He actually called me when he said he would. No games. No macho bull. vrosej10
I hung out with this guy in a group setting (went to the movies) and got home and started telling my roommate how I really liked talking to him. While I'm having this conversation with my roommate, my phone rings. It's the guy. I am a little surprised but I answer it anyways. He proceeds to tell me that he really liked spending time with me and that he wants to get to know me better because he's excited about the possibility of a relationship with me- would I like to get dinner with him?
No games. Directly said he was interested. Asked me out on a very clear date. So refreshing after years of "maybe he's interested?" We're married now. :) thelyfeaquatic
I asked "hey are you the one?" And she said "yes." michaelscottpaperco-
That'll do it. Synyzy
We're going to Disneyland!
About a year into dating, I had to get my gallbladder removed. He sat next to me in recovery with my mom. My mom told me that each time I would wake up, I'd ask him to go to Disneyland. And each time, he'd say yes and make plans for our trip until I fell asleep again. My mom said that's when she knew he was the one for me. When she knew he was the one, I knew he was the one! We've been together eleven years and have a beautiful baby boy. akozimor
When the sex is good...Giphy
She puts up with my bull. We never argue. The sex keeps getting better. this_is_your_dad
If it keeps greeting better at the same rate, in how many years do you think it will get good? get_bernd
Too Grow Old with you....
You realize that despite all their shortcomings, you want to grow old with them. Life without them is something you just can't comprehend. I'm so glad I found my best friend and married him! Whale19821
He never once made me feel less than whole for having mental health issues. He tolerates my stuff and I tolerate his. We were as good as friends as we were as lovers. Three years as friends, over 4 years of dating, and 12 years married now. We took a risk. A large one. But there was undeniable chemistry from both sides, that we'd been attempting to fight for quite awhile. It only worked because we were 100% certain we both felt the same. And, in all honesty, we'd sort of done the FWB thing very briefly before we realized we should just try to make it work as a couple.
It wasn't all perfect, though. We fought, a lot. But we had a solid foundation to get through it. There's always a risk when your best friend becomes your boyfriend- but it can be very worth it. UsernameObscured
Brings the Sunshine....
I always feel better when I am with him. If everything is crappy, it is still crappy, but less crappy than if we weren't sharing the burden. If things are amazing, they are even more amazing because we are sharing it. He seems to feel the same. Married almost 21 years. KindGrammy
Do you like my weird?
Our first date was my senior year in high school and she was a junior. We dated through the summer and by fall when she started her senior year I just knew. There was no one else like her, in everything we just fit, if that makes sense. I could tell her anything and she never thought I was strange or weird. Nothing felt strange, everything just felt right. I could be me, no games, no acting or putting up a fake persona. When we were apart I could not wait to to see her. When we were together I did not want to leave her. Married for 34 and 1/2 years now. arrectorpilus
Easy does it....Giphy
18 years and counting! He was super easygoing, didn't get upset or annoyed easily, and always made me feel what I had to say mattered. Also, he thought I was gorgeous without makeup! eli7tidy
13 and Beyond....
We did not like each other at first. Our boss had put us together. He was funny and my favorite cheesy. We hung out as friend, then started dating. But how I knew he was the one was his faith in humanity. To him everybody was a good person. I still love him with all my hear even after 13 years. Esmemishou
He's My Favorite!
When I met him at a local community college, he asked me out. Upon finding out I had a 10 month old daughter, he didn't run. It didn't phase him, and was so very courteous and respectful about what his role would be. He was only 20, and instead of blowing me off because I came with lots of baggage, he helped me carry the bags. He was my biggest cheerleader while I finished my bachelor's degree, at times watching my daughter if I had schoolwork or work.
He always put me first, which was completely new to me. I was always putting myself on the back burner and almost lost who I was in my previous relationships. I'd be treated like garbage and wonder what I could do to change, instead of realizing I wasn't the problem. He showed me they were the problem.
That little girl he took on as his own was adopted by him when she was 7, and she's now a smart, beautiful, and mature 18 year old young lady. We've been married almost 15 years, and added two boys along the way. He has NEVER treated her any different than our boys. She is his, and he is her daddy. Every damn day I thank God for sending him to me.
It's funny how easy it all was with him. And it still is. He's just my favorite person. blonde1155
We had the scary conversation really early on; the "this is so good it's scary" I just knew, he knew, and 14 years on there is no one I would rather be with, on holiday, in the car, or in the supermarket. He's my best friend, and yes the sex just gets soooo much better!! From really really good to oh my goodness how do you do that???? ifmtobh
Having it ALL!!!
I'm an overthinker. I like plans and lists. I hate surprises. I want to know what's going on, when, and how it's all going to work. When my husband proposed I didn't think. I wasn't thinking about how our relationship had been 99% long distance. I wasn't thinking about moving to a foreign country where I didn't know jack about Japan or acclimating to military culture. I wasn't thinking about leaving my home, family, and friends. All I was thinking was "Yes. I want my life to be with this man." He went to every jewelry shop in our county to find a marquis cut because he remembered the one conversation we had where I mentioned not caring for the princess cut all my friends were obsessed with. The first piece of jewelry he bought me was a necklace because he remembered the one time I mentioned that I don't care for bracelets because my wrists were too small. All the things I always said I never wanted changed when I met him. I was never going to do a long distance relationship. I was never going to have a military relationship. I was never going to get married or have kids. I'd teach and have dogs. Now, we've been together 12 years, I'm a stay at home mom, and I'd never wish for any life other than the one we have. poultrymidwifery
There's no moment where suddenly you get this sudden clarity about who this person is, it's just something you do every day. There are people that stay together for decades and they figure they're each other's ones, only to have it all disappear in a second. The problem with thinking that there's a moment where you figure out that someone is "the one", is that people change. If you stay together 20 years, those two people who met are probably different from those two people 20 years later. Nopants21
You're the ONE that I want!
We both talked and listened to each other. Hours of talking for months and months. We had similar life goals, had the same ideas about thing like pet ownership, kids, how to be a family, how to work out problems, similar belief systems. I don't believe in "The One." I decided that she was going to be "My One." She decided the same thing back. Rchuno
The Final Cookie....
Our eyes met across a crowded room. Literally. We were at an online group meet-up at a busy restaurant. We recognized each other as "the one" instantly. This year will be the 27th anniversary. We are older and fatter now, but he still saves the last cookie for me and we still hold hands when walking down the street. pro_ajumma
It's a Choice!
I don't believe in "the one." My wife is about as good as you can expect a human to be within reason. She's honest, hardworking, and kind. She's got plenty of flaws too, but because she's honest they were apparent from the get go. I'm sure there are plenty of other women that meet these criteria that I might have convinced to married me, but I was already with this one. Once we were married, we committed to each other that we would see this thing through no matter what and when we had kids it only deepened this commitment. Being married has been the hardest thing in my life and the most rewarding. To be able to rely on someone else completely is amazing. I struggled with addiction early in our marriage and my wife got me through it. My wife struggled with being a mom and I took on the role of stay at home dad. This is what you do for each other. There's no "one." Just the one you choose to be with. h4rlotsghost
Like A Boomerang...Giphy
I was going through a divorce - first marriage, married too young. There was a girl that hung out with my brother and friends, and every time she was around I'd end up talking to her, drawn to her like a magnet for some reason. We just clicked, and I think it's the first time someone really listened to me and cared about how I felt. I remember thinking "If I ever do this again, I'm waiting for a girl like that next time."
She moved away, but a couple of years later she moved back and one day I picked up the phone and it was her. We went out that night, and we've been together thirty years now. She would do anything for me, and that means everything. carverofcanyons
It's the Laughs....
I knew she was way above my pay grade. We went out 29 of the first 30 days, I asked her to marry me- married 6 weeks later. I was 29 she was 27. 38 years this June. We were best friends and she had/has a BIZARRE sense of humor. We are Christians as well, despite the negative connotation that may have to many on Reddit. We have had plenty of problems, but neither one of us has ever threatened divorce. tracer1952
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.