Married People Share The Craziest Things They Learned About Their Spouse AFTER The Wedding.
You think you really know someone, and then you get married to them...
Here are some of the craziest things people found out about their spouse only after getting married to them.
Many thanks to the Reddit user who posed the question and to those who responded. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!
1/34. This was after she got pregnant...
She used to drown stray cats in a bucket.... Yeaaaah I have custody of our kids now.
She was pretty normal acting for the most part. Until... I personally think the hormone changes of pregnancy did something to her. She. Lost. Her. Mind.
Living in a mother's state, there was not much I could do about it, unless she actually wanted to have a psyche evaluation. So I stayed with her to protect the kid. Then kids. Until one day she took the kids and ran off with her lover. Mother's state, still not much I could do about this.
She is a sociopath.
Remember kids, sociopaths know how to look and act acceptable. Unless something happens, you seriously cannot spot one in the wild.
2/34. That she was gay. This is significant because I am straight and assumed she was as well.
3/34. After the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna story broke, she said "I don't see what the big deal is. I'd slap you around too if you ever check my cell phone."
4/34. He had never, in 35 years, tasted cucumber. Went to a spa for our first anniversary, and with a horrified face, he told me, "Oh god, I think this water has gone bad...." The cucumber water in the ice cold dispenser.
We discovered my husband hates, absolutely hates the taste of cucumber that day.
5/34. My wife can make balloon animals and I never knew it. One day were sitting at home with the kids and after I brought home the wrong type of balloons out of nowhere she twists up a dog, then a monkey.
6/34. I would wake up early for work and tickle one of his feet, he would snatch it back under the cover quickly and then sloowwwwly push it back to its spot peeking out from under the blanket.
I thought this was a cute game we played whenever I was leaving for work and I did it every morning for almost 2 years. Then one day after I had moved in, I did it to him while he was awake and he gave me a confused look and asked "What are you doing?"
I told him I was just trying to play our morning tickle game and he had absolutely no clue what I was talking about. Turns out, he's only ticklish when he's sleeping and I was unknowingly playing a game alone for almost 2 years.
7/34. That her butt functions as a low level fog horn some mornings.
8/34. That she will watch shows we started together without me. It's so hurtful.
9/34. I had no idea that after we got married he wouldn't be nearly as interested in sex anymore.
10/34. How gassy my husband is. The moment we got home from the courthouse he let one rip and hugged me saying I have to accept this now. He'd never farted in front of me before.
He farts so much.
11/34. She only laughs at her own jokes. Like, she'll laugh after I say something, but it's only because she's thinking something funnier in her head. She's her own best comic.
12/34. He had never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in his life, and I found this out when we were married for more than five years. I made him his first pb&j when he was 30, and he was blown away by how good it was.
13/34. About to celebrate 2 months of marriage, so I'm still part of the newlywed club. My husband and I didn't live together until after we got married and I discovered his sleep talking...which happens almost every night. He's had full conversations with me thinking my name was Steve-o, yelled "two players now, who's going down," but my personal favorite is when he rolled over and said, "I just know it's gonna be a Happy Halloween soon."
14/34. I thought I was the disorganized, messy one. I was not the disorganized, messy one.
15/34. That she leads a pretty boring life. Just like me. I expected everything to change, but instead it was just pretty much the same as before we got a piece of paper.
Everyone else told me things would change but they haven't. I also suspect that my children will be pretty boring people as well.
16/34. She had two other kids, that she'd abandoned. After my youngest (with her) was just over one year old, we didn't see her for almost ten years.
I have custody, FYI.
17/34. No one came to his 8th birthday party after his dad died and even now he gets too much anxiety over birthday parties to have them for himself.
18/34. My wife turned out to be extremely food jealous. If I am eating something that looks and tastes better than what she is eating, she gets pretty upset if I don't offer her any.
19/34. The extent to which she thinks farts are funny. She let on that they were humorous before we got married, but now I realize she thinks they're hilarious. A good fart can always put a smile on her face.
20/34. That he takes the title of "husband " very seriously. It's almost like I married a different person that's way more responsible than the person I dated. He dragged his feet to get a job and contribute when we were dating, and now he's kicked it up ten notches.
21/34. The shedding. My god, the shedding. I'd like to put a long sleeve shirt on without getting one of her hairs stuck between my fingers on the way through the sleeves. Man, I remember what that was like.
22/34. He's literally never cleaned a thing in his life. No idea how to vacuum, clean a toilet or a shower.. it was interesting.
He's much better now.
23/34. After dating for seven years and well-establishing that I like to sleep in when I don't have plans, we got married. Suddenly, I don't know why, apparently "we" had a bedtime AND in the morning, it was suddenly "time for us to get up."
Had to have a stern conversation with my morning-person husband about that real quick. If there's stuff we have to do, yeah sure, but if it's a lazy Sunday, leave me alone and go play video games alone.
24/34. That he supported his buddy's family financially while his buddy spent a year in federal prison, not "England" as everyone else was told.
My husband kept his buddy's employment open by doing his buddy's job as well as his own job during that year.
25/34. That rice crispy treats are his favorite "baked" good. He had never so much as mentioned them before to me. Two years married and suddenly- this bombshell! Out of the blue!
But seriously: after we got married I realized that he wasn't as calm as he seemed.
He can actually get very anxious (like a normal human being) and if he doesn't do something active for a few days (work out, run, etc) he gets hyper like a 3 year old on a sugar high- manic, can't sit still, loud singing....
It's quite something to behold.
26/34. He's very much like a llama. Upset him at just the right time and he'll completely lose his appetite and refuse to eat for a while.
27/34. How much that childhood abuse REALLY affected her.
28/34. He hates grocery shopping, like would rather clean the toilet than pick up more than 2 things at the grocery store. It kind of works though, because I hate cleaning the bathroom.
29/34. That twins run in her family, both sides. Found out during an ultrasound when they said there are 2 babies in there.
30/34. My wife can speak french. We are on vacation last February in Papeete, Tahiti French Polynesia. My wife starts talking french to everyone talking french. WE'VE BEEN MARRIED 25 YEARS!
31/34. Her sneezes are so loud. Seriously, I never heard her sneeze before we were married.
She's a small person. But I could be in my office, with the door closed, while she is in the master bedroom across the house, again with the door closed. And I hear
Then I text her "bless you."
32/34. How shockingly alike we are.
We're going on year number 5 together and year number 2.5 married.
She and I think so much alike that it's scary. To the point where we say the same things at the same time in the same exact way on a daily basis.
33/34. Before we got married I loved how sarcastic she was. After we got married I realized she wasn't sarcastic at all, just mean. We're still happily married, though.
34/34. That 3/4 of the time he spends in the bathroom is spent on "iPad time". For years I thought he was struggling with digestive issues..... nope, just the Simpsons game.
That she smells amazing. Once she stopped wearing perfumes, and I could smell her natural scent, I became even more crazy for her. Similar with makeup vs. natural face.
In most situations, when you're hurt by someone, it can be best to just forgive and forget. However, there are some people that can't help but hold grudges. Sometimes it can just be petty, but other times, it can be for very valid reasons.
HeySistaBrutus asked: What are you STILL mad about?